“Here,” Suzy says with a smile, sharing her glass of water.

Eunjung amusedly takes that cup, grinning as if she had just won the lottery, and gulping down its contents.

“You’re hot.”

Eunjung almost burst out the water in , turning wide eyed to her equally amused and teasing cook. Suzy laughs to herself, taking the empty glass and refilling it with cold water.

Suzy just had the knack of getting an exaggerated reaction from her boss these days, much to Eunjung’s chagrin. Eunjung thought, they probably couldn’t help it. In over a short period of time, she felt a greater improvement to their relationship…friendly relationship, mind you.

The others may or may not have noticed, but she does tend to spend time with Suzy, no matter how much she wanted to avoid it. Other than their tables being beside each other, Suzy being on her left and Areum was conveniently on the right—because technically Areum is the right hand—there was simply no way for her to get away from that. Changing where her kitchen staff needed to work would destroy the workflow, especially when they had different tasks and different skills.

So no matter how much she wanted to simply avoid—ignore—Suzy, she can’t. And it would have been unfair to the younger girl. Suzy has become a really good friend. Eunjung can’t simply change the way she treats her because…because of how Suzy cared for her. Or how Suzy stood by her. Or how Suzy smiles for her...

And because of how Suzy looks at her, with an unreadable yet gentle gaze, somehow sad and longing.

Eunjung couldn’t bear hurt her any more than the situation had. Suzy was a book she couldn’t close. And knowing someone likes—or probably, loves—her definitely scares her. Especially when admittedly, she actually likes Suzy too.

Certainly, telling Suzy to back off or her doing the avoiding wasn’t just appropriate in her opinion, especially when Suzy had never said anything in the first place and was just being a good friend.

“I meant, that you look like you need more water,” Suzy says with a giggle, drinking from the same glass and refilling it once more before Eunjung takes it in her hands.

“Well, you don’t look as good as I am either,” Eunjung points out to the sweat on her (favorite) employee’s forehead, mindlessly wiping it with her hands, unaware of how the other had stiffen.

“I-it’s been pretty busy, good thing we’ve got half of the equipment inside,” Suzy mumbles, slowly backing away much to Eunjung’s surprise.

Her hand stops in midair, her eyes trailing from the embarrassed Suzy, to her now-sweaty hand 1and back to Suzy who couldn’t even begin to look at her…Oh God. She could have hit herself on the head! That was just way over the line.

“I’m…” Eunjung whispers.

Suzy looks up with an undecipherable look in her eyes, her gaze on the obnoxiously shining wedding band on the fourth finger that glared at them both which reminded Eunjung of that promise of forever to the person at the other side of the kitchen’s wall. Eunjung pulls back her hand as if she was burned, her other hand almost crushing the cup at the sight of Suzy.

Her employee had looked away, taking the empty cup from Eunjung’s hand gingerly before pointing towards the door, as men had come in with a different equipment, saying, “I gotta go get back to work, boss.”

Boss.

The words had echoed in Eunjung’s ears clearly, nagging her, worrying her, reminding her.

Suzy had left her.

“Jungie,” Hyomin calls out with a wary gaze, glancing at Suzy’s retreating figure and back to her dazed best friend. “C’mon, you said we were getting some food.”

“Y-yeah,” Eunjung clears , looking away as she mindlessly patted her jeans, “let’s go.”

-

“She said no,” Hyomin asks quietly, glancing as her best friend sighs for what she could make out of was frustration and disappointment as they slowly walk to a famous pizza joint. “How come?”

“I don’t know, Piece-Of-Cake is bigger now, she needs me around,” Eunjung shrugs, unsure of what she was saying. “And I’m unprepared, she’s right.”

“That’s a load of bull, you know you can do it,” Hyomin says nonchalantly. “Your shop can stand without you and you know that too.”

“I know, it’s just that I really need to focus on the shop first and prepare for a longer period of time if I wanna join the next time. Besides, it’s better that I stick around,” she says.

“This is a huge thing, you know. You’ll have to wait two more years, Jungie,” Hyomin says thoughtfully. “That’s such a long time. I know you’re prepared. You’re better than anyone else I know!”

Eunjung sighs, frustrated.

“It’s just I’ve been stuck here, just working in the same level as I have been for years, that sometimes, I don’t know if I could be up to par as to what those other cooks have been doing. You know Lizzy has become really famous and—”

“ Lizzy,” Hyomin scoffs. “Why in the world do you still think about her and what she does? You’re your own person and I know you can be better than her.”

“How can I even compare Minnie,” Eunjung points out. “She got in and competed in France. They got the country to place second. How the hell can I compare to that? When she freaking owns a famous high end restaurant chain, let’s not forget her own brand of bread and pastries. Just what the hell?” Eunjung exclaims.

“Is this really just about Lizzy?”

Eunjung pauses in thought, glancing at her best friend with a frown.

“You never kept it a secret to me how you silently couldn’t stand her, even during your internship. It got worse for you when she and Jiyeon got together. No matter how you said Lizzy’s your friend, she had been secretly your enemy. So tell me again, is this really just about Lizzy?”

“It’s just…”

“Just cut to the chase,” Hyomin says, twisting the bottle cap of the bottled water she brought around. “Spit it out.”

Sensing Hyomin’s rising annoyance Eunjung knew this was the chance that she could get to get something off her chest. And the only way she could do it was to say it as casually as she could, “You know, Lizzy’s back.”

“What is it again?” Hyomin asks sipping on the bottle of water she had in her hands dodging a few people passing them by as they walked, when a car had honked.

“Lizzy’s back,” Eunjung utters, clearly and with no honking around.

Hyomin almost died from drowning from her own drink, she could have sworn it as she gasps from air and fighting the feeling of being choked. She coughs and sputters out in desperation, turning to Eunjung with eyes wide in surprise.

“What the heck?” She mutters. “Is this why you really wanna join the competition, to prove yourself or to Jiyeon or something?” Hyomin incredulously asks.

“No,” Eunjung exclaims. “It’s not about that okay?”

But even when she said so made her doubt herself. She was itching to join the competition but for what is it for? Herself, for Jiyeon, or to prove everyone else?

How could she say that when she isn’t even sure why or how she ended up saying all this to her friend? All her doubts and thoughts so raw, just pouring out of . Somehow, she regrets even mentioning Lizzy now because she’s realizing that whatever she wanted to achieve, maybe it was just to prove herself, to prove Jiyeon and prove she is so much better.

“Let’s just drop whatever that was you asked me earlier,” Eunjung shrugs, frustrated, “Because her being around doesn’t affect me. Telling you she’s back isn’t about that.”

Lies, she told herself.

“Then what is it about?” Hyomin asks. “Because with the way you’re telling me right now, I feel like this is all about Jiyeon instead.”

“It’s just that Jiyeon never told me,” Eunjung whispers, dodging another person coming their way, sticking closely to her best friend.

“Do you doubt her?”

Eunjung looks towards the busy street, stopping on her heels as she waits along with the dozens of people trying to get around the city. She was used to this environment, but if she could choose she’d rather have talked about this when she and her best friend were alone and not amongst strangers waiting for the light to turn green so they could cross. It added a bit to whatever she had bothering her for some time now.

All of this, the traffic, the flock of people, they were like her thoughts. So messed up and intense.

Bicycles trying to get in between tight spaces, their bells dinging as they passed, almost made her feel like they were doubts trying to pass through the barriers of confidence she put up, trying to run over what she calls her sense of trust.

It wasn’t like she doesn’t trust Jiyeon, that’s what she always told herself, but her question is, why?

Why didn’t she tell her that she went out with Lizzy; that she’s talking with her, visiting her? She knows she could have actually just asked, maybe Jiyeon would tell her. She knew she could have just knew if she just showed up in the shop when Jiyeon asked her to.

But the fact of the matter is, Jiyeon never really tried to tell her about that dinner. She just knew it was Lizzy Jiyeon was with. It wasn’t so difficult to figure out.

Why else could she be so secretive?

This just breaks a bit of her trust for her. It was like staring at the chapped porcelain, it’s not exactly broken but it’s not exactly in perfect shape either.

She was scared how she could get passed this. It was hard enough to admit that she dreads the time Jiyeon might turn her back on her.

Am I really enough, she questioned herself. Eunjung didn’t want to keep on doubting herself too but Lizzy, out of all people Jiyeon just has to be with; her of all people?

Her determination may have withered as the days passed, but Jiyeon did assure her all she had to be was herself. But these days, she couldn’t even tell if she was truly herself.

Who was she when she was just Jiyeon’s best friend? Who is she now as the wife?

Eunjung knew that each one of us, we all have different versions of ourselves. How we are when we’re with our family, how we are when we are with strangers, how we are when we are with our friends, how we are when we are with our best friends and how we are with our lovers. We treat and tend to act differently.

All these make up