Eunjung needed a break badly. She felt like she was about to drop, close her eyes and die.

Not really, she just needed more sleep. But she can’t get a shut eye. The least she could have was some time alone at the back alley, think through things or maybe not think at all.

It was another very busy day. They had just finished three birthday cakes and had to prepare for tomorrow’s service and it was only half of the day. She needed to survive for a few more hours but she felt as if she was swamped.

The constitution of physical fatigue, frustrations, hectic work, and most especially, Jiyeon’s attitude was getting a toll on her. These days the apartment had been a mess, she couldn’t reach her best friend and her wife proved to be much of a hothead she couldn’t approach or talk to. She couldn’t even talk to anyone in this place!

It’s been a couple of days and she wasn’t that dense not to notice how Jiyeon would ignore her.  

Jiyeon had been so cranky lately it was getting on her nerves.

 She couldn’t even bear be in the same room with her for now. If she was around, Jiyeon would completely turn silent, and if she wasn’t around and comes back to see how Jiyeon was doing, her wife would start getting angry at things. If Jiyeon went to the kitchen, her wife’s eyes were stern, probably waiting for Taecyeon to make a mistake at her presence, before she eventually scares the whole crew into silence. At home Jiyeon had thrown some dirty laundry on the floor for her to see, riling her up.

But no, she didn’t take the bait, remained vigilant, waiting for them to talk about something yet not willing to talk it out. Not when she felt tired. She understood her wife needed to be left alone sometimes, especially when she’s in a bad mood. It must be the female hormones working Jiyeon to becoming somehow irrational in her eyes. But she tries to be patient as much as possible.

Heck, the last time she ever got a kiss had been so long, she doesn’t even remember when it was exactly! It’s not like she was looking for it, at least not yet. It was no big deal. Work has just been a pain, so she figured Jiyeon felt the same. She couldn’t even be sweet lately, that all she and Jiyeon did the past few days was work, eat and sleep. After all, they had the same determination when it came to their jobs.

“Hey.”

Eunjung looks up, turning to the back doors to see Suzy looking torn. “Hey,” she greets back.

She looks away to stare at the other building’s dreary wall, leaning her back casually. Suzy came closer, leaning against the wall with her, as they both stared at the other dreary wall of the other establishment together. It was when Eunjung pulls out a cigarette from her pocket, surprising the other girl beside her as she lights it up.

It felt relaxing somehow, how the thin smoke feels travelling from , through , bringing a sense of fullness in her airways and eventually filling up her lungs causing this brief yet blissful, mind tingling feeling.

At least something made her feel better and relaxed. There was no way she could go on feeling like .

“I never knew you smoked,” Suzy casually says, eyeing her carefully, Eunjung noticed.

“Well, no one has to know. Besides, I rarely do this,” Eunjung shrugs as she puffs out the carcinogenic fog out of her lungs before she takes another quick breather of the killer stick with a forlorn smile. “It’s been a while.”

“Hah, rare, which means when you feel tired,” Suzy figured.

Eunjung chuckles with a nod, just before she sees her cigarette flying away. She turns to Suzy in surprise and accusation, ready to give the girl a mouthful only to see Suzy grinning up at her. “Hey! That was my last—”

“I don’t care. You’re not going back to the kitchen with your smelly fingers and breath,” Suzy smiles a little, turning back to the wall again as she sees Eunjung resign with a sigh. “You’re gonna make a habit out of that if you don’t stop it.”

Eunjung shrugs and stares blankly at her poor ole’ cigarette smoking away to ashes on the pavement.

“So…” Suzy begins with an uneasy smile.

“So…what else do you do other than into other people’s cigarette breaks,” Eunjung simply smiles, glancing at the silly girl with much interest.

“Nothing much,” Suzy shrugs, “I just like to talk to people who need some piece of advice about not wasting their life away with a stick.”

Suzy looks down to her shuffling feet with a sigh, then looking up with a small smile Eunjung could recognize as halfhearted. “You shouldn’t be smoking,” Suzy says. “My grandma died of second hand smoking from my grandpa, I guess. How else would she have suffered from lung cancer?”

Eunjung was taken aback by that, turning to Suzy with guilt and sympathy and says, “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, it’s okay. I just don’t want you to go down that path,” Suzy smiles softly, looking away towards the dumpsters nearby. “Anyway, how’s it going with you? You don’t seem to be in the mood lately.”

Eunjung chuckles bitterly, “You noticed?”

“Everyone did. You always have a frown on your face these days, and Jiyeon’s in pretty bad mood,” Suzy grumbles, fiddling with her jacket. “Everyone’s concerned and Taec’s beating himself up over it saying it must be his fault when you two fought.”

“It’s not that. I’m not even sure what is wrong with us lately,” Eunjung says, shifting on her feet, leaning her head back against the wall. “I’m sure we’ll get through it. We’re just tired. With the renovation coming up for the shop, we can’t afford to slack.”

Suzy pauses in thought, her eyes turning to Eunjung, inspecting and inquiring much to the other’s embarrassment. Eunjung avoids her eyes, looking away to the road outside the alley. But Suzy had something in mind.

“You should go out and have fun,” Suzy encourages. “Good, clean fun. Not get drunk or smoke cigarettes. Maybe go for a run, or travel to a place, to the beach. I know you’re tired but I feel like it’s more than just that. It’s just that you’re losing your spark lately. You don’t seem to be genuinely enjoying what you’ve been doing.”

“You can read me now?” Eunjung scoffs playfully, turning away to watch cars pass by outside the alley.

“It’s been years since we worked here, Eunjung, everyone can tell,” Suzy softly speaks.

“I just have a lot in mind, a lot I can’t say, some things I have to resolve, some answers that need answering; that’s a lot to do but I’m happy with my life now,” Eunjung smiles.

“Why not just do it?”

“It’s hard,” Eunjung chuckles sadly. “It’s hard to reach out to just say sorry. It’s hard to know what to feel or not knowing what to feel for something. Those are different things. That and I’m just really tired.”

“I’m not sure what that’s all about,” Suzy says with a smile. “I just hope you’d figure it out.” 

Eunjung nods, staring at the wall once again, trying to rack her brain of what she could talk to Suzy about to change the subject and somehow says, “Hey, uhm, I got some recipes I made, would you…?”

“Would I,” Suzy playfully drawls, leaning closer towards Eunjung with a chuckle.

Eunjung laughs awkwardly, flustered at the proximity of her employee with her. She could practically see Suzy’s lashes and her smile…Goodness, why did her smile have to be so blinding?

“Uhm, uh, would you help me test them out in the kitchen again,” Eunjung says with a smile. “I’m staying late again, and you know, I need all the help I can get.”

-

“That’s crazy,” Suzy laughs out loud, wiping away the mess they made on the table.

Eunjung shrugs, “Really, you should try it once or twice.”

“No!” Suzy says, shaking her head.

“Fine, I won’t force you,” Eunjung shrugs with a chuckle, keeping the equipment they just used.

Eunjung had never had as much fun in the kitchen in a while, just doing what she does best with someone who could keep up with her all the while having silly conversations.

She hadn’t had this much of a breather in a while, when work was just about work, trying to keep up with orders, with inventories, deliveries. Maybe that’s what endeared her with Suzy. Despite this girl’s problems, the busy work they have to do and all that jazz, Suzy knew how to have fun and smile her way thro