(A/N): FINALLY ITS THE LAST CHAPTER! Prepare for a really long chapter full of emotional contents and trust me, it took me a long time to write this.

 

Today, it is almost 3 years since my death, I clung onto my family like glue, meanwhile, I desired to be by their side the whole time.

The twins are 8 years old, they're growing fast, their height is no joke, most 8 year olds I see are almost up to my waist whereas my kids are surpassing it by the minute, they've definatly got my height.

Today is 'bring your father to school' day, where the kids' fathers come to school and talk about their job.

It's great timing since Jung Hwan is on a break and he's coming home for the first time in 2 years, Bom arranged Jung Hwan to be in my place and Yong Sun is eagerly overjoyed about that, he's still in that dream of being in the army, resulting him to look up to his uncle. Liqui on the other hand is not as peppy as she usually would seem.

 

"Liqui, honey, lets go to school." Bom quaintly holds out her hand in Liquis reach as Jung Hwan, Yong Sun and Chiaoxiang takes first dibs in the car.

 

"I don't want to go to school today." She pouts and stares in hopes that Bom took the hint of Liqui being 'sick'.

 

"Why not? Its going to be fun."

 

"I don't have a dad." She sulks as she sits down on the step outside the door, wearing a unsatisfied face.

 

With the glum atsmosphere Liqui created, Bom didn't hesitate to sit beside her and comfort her. "No, but you do have uncle Chiaoxiang who offered to help you." Relaxed, she takes Liqui under her wing.

 

"It's not the same."

 

Deeply, Bom sighs. "I know." Disheartened, she rubs Liquis shoulder.

 

Due to the small delay, Chiaoxiang runs to us. "Is there a problem?"

 

"Liquis coming down to a cold." Tightly, she hugs her.

 

"Is there anything you want me to do? I mean, I guess I'm not going now, I can make you tea or that broth you like." He insisted, placing his arms forward to hold onto Liqui until Bom holds her back.

 

"Its okay, just tell Jung Hwan that he can go, I'm sure you're busy now that you're crowned CEO."

 

"Right, I better get back to sorting out all those paper work. Get well soon, Liqui!" Gently, he patts onto her head, letting a small giggle escape from .

 

"Bye uncle!" Liqui screams, the two waved goodbye to the boys continuously until there was no sign of them.

 

"Do you want to get some ice cream?" Bom offers, immediatly putting a smile on Liquis face.

 

***

10am, I sat on the same table as Jung Hwan and Yong Sun.

 

"Yong Sun and Liqui, its your turn." The teacher informed. "Please take your dad up to the front."

 

"Liqui will not be joining us today." Jung Hwan confirms. "She's not feeling well."

 

"Ah, I see, well, Yong Sun, please take your father up,"

 

I proudly watched behind the rest of the fathers and kids, clapping.

 

As soon as they reached the front, Yong Sun steps forward infront of Jung Hwan. "He's my uncle." He corrects, giving me a warm feeling, knowing he, too, hasnt forgotten about me. "But first, let me say he's amazing! I want to be exactly like him when I'm older!" It definatly intrests me that he's still living up to his word since he was 3/4.

 

"That's lovely, why do you want to be like him?" His teacher asks out of curiosity, perhaps because he's not the father, I took a good look around the room, Jung Hwan is the only one without a father, the kids seemed to be confused as why he doesnt have one. A second ago, I overheard a child in the corner ask his dad why doesnt Jung Hwan have one.

 

At this time, I wanted to check on Liqui if she was okay, at this point, I stood up, already knowing what Yong Suns answer is going to be,  its fairly obvious since he has never stopped talking about wanting to be in the army. 

 

I stood up and targetted for the door. "Because he's the only male figure in my life." Those words rung in my head, almost like a nightmare.

 

I turned around to face the crowd, they were immediatly hooked by those words, curiously, I sit back down.

 

"Mommy says uncle Jung Hwan is the only person supporting her. I don't know what that means but I will support my mommy too." I starred deeply into Yong Suns chestnut eyes, they were squinted, his eye smile brings me a different feeling everytime. The corners of his mouths reached up high as they could and I sat there knowing I failed.

 

I failed being a man. I gave up near the end, resulting to my death. I may be alive if I kept fighting. I failed being a father, I failed being the supporter of my family.

 

The next half hour, I observed their presentation about Jung Hwans life in the milatary, how he became a common man fighting for his country now one of the top commanders. In addition, Yong Sun gazed as if he was in a trance, listening closely to every detail of his uncles life.

 

***

April 15th, 2032

 

Alone, at the family dinner table with Bom, me on one end of the table and Bom on the opposite. Ediquettly, she sips on her tea. At the blink of an eye, instant screams streamed down the hall.

 

"Why don't you just leave me alone?" An aggressive tone of Liqui's spread throughout the hall. "Like what you always do." In contrast to her last words, she says this  a tad quieter.

 

"What?" Yong Sun squints his eyes.

 

"I'm just saying, maybe my voice isnt loud enough or I'm just purposley getting ignored."

 

"What is going on here?" Bom cuts in straightforwardly.

 

I tried analysing the situation and what I see is one of my kids completely drenched in water, perhaps mud? And the other dry and organised. How is this possible? its crisp outside and there is no possible sign of rain today, telling by the clouds.

 

Liquis makeup smudged either by the wetness or perhaps she was crying.

"Nothing, I'm just having a bad day where I'm moody because I'm on my period. Its a girl thing."  She faces directly at her twin, shooting dirty expressions, guessing its a message,her way telling him to back off. "Mom would know, right?" Oddly, she kept a straight face enough for us to 'believe' her as we all watched her run up the stairs into her room.

 

I tried to put the pieces together, as to why she is being like this? I checked on the kids all last week in school, Liqui is popular, she gets along with everyone and achieves more than satisfying grades, on top of that, she has a boyfriend that Bom proudly accepted into the family - shes described to be the cliche the girl next door. Yong Sun is very similar almost the same, what do you expect? they're twins, they resemble eachother a little too much but is there something I'm missing? Maybe I'm not looking at the details. They have secrets, they always do - they're teenagers afterall.

 

"Yong Sun, are you going to tell me or is this one of those 'keep it a secret from mom''''

 

"I really wish I could tell you."

 

Before leaving, Bom catches Yong Suns elbow. "Wait, is Hana-I mean Liqui. Is Liqui...." Automatically I know where she's going with this, the trembling and fragile voice of hers cracked. "self-harming again?"

 

"Again? When did Liqui ever cut?"

 

"So...she's not cutting?" A slight relief escaped from .

 

"I really hope not."

 

"Is she depressed?"

 

"Mom, where are you getting all this?"

 

"You never know, Yong Sun, she could be suffering."

 

"Were you depressed once?"

 

A stretched pause stayed. "Forget it, Liqui will be back to her normal self tommorow."

 

I had no choice but to check on Liqui. As easy it has been for the past 11 years, I walked passed the walls and found myself in her bedroom where her body is curled up in a ball in the corner of her room. Liqui gets out a small storage unit hid under her bed and opens it, it appeared to be a stash of untouched and newly packed pills along with a side of cigerettes freshly rolled and what appeard to be .

 

Honestly, I'm disappointed, what happened to her? If I could, I would throw it out the window but thats whats wrong with the words 'if's, you just think about it, it never really happens.

 

With no struggle, she confidently lights it up, giving no care about the aftermath. Her face sprinkled with her own tears, her eyes encrusted with ruby and her body that gave up.

 

***

"Good morning." Bom directed at Yong Sun who just came down to breakfast that laid presentedly on his area. "Where's Liqui?" I can see why she asked, normally-no, almost everyday, they come down together for breakfast.

 

"I heard the shower running from her room this morning, maybe she's just taking her time."

 

Bom raises a brow to figure out if hes telling the truth. Its clear that Yong Sun knows about this, he may not know the whole story but its most definite he knows what it is. "Alright." She shrugs it off and continues with her breakfast but its obvious it has been bugging her.

 

30 minutes flew by then Liqui comes downstairs with a different look - If you knew her well, you wouldnt even recognise her.

 

She sat down at her area, Bom gave obvious gazes - who wouldnt? The girl dyed her hair blonde over night or maybe early this morning as she was supposedly taking a shower, also her eyebags were straightforwardly shown but were effortlessly covered up with makeup, speaking of makeup, her face consisted of heavy eyeliner and cheap carmine lipstick, her hair which she thankfully didnt cut but was teased, looking like a complete ulzzang. Last of all her clothing, the school we sent her was my high school, one of the top 5 in Seoul, we were considering enrolling them to Hana,Jung Hwans and Chiaoxiangs high school but it held horible memories. Back to the topic, Liquis clothing is the schools uniform but she tweaked it today to match her new look she is going for.

 

The uniform consists of a blazer and a tie but she didnt appear to be wearing it , instead she wore the white shirt with the collar button undone aswell as the other two buttons below where her cleavage and lace bra showed, her shirt was tucked in her skirt that appeared to be cut to a standard that you'd call '' but if you look closely, it was torn effortlessly, judging by the loose thread.

 

"Liqui, please change now." Bom had enough of looking and ignored the fact she's there.

 

"Why? You don't like it?"

 

"No."

 

"I remember you saying that you'd like us to express our choice of clothing." Liqui didnt hesitate to talk back.

 

"I'm not sending you to school like that." Bom avoided contact, you could tell she can't stand looking at her daughter like that.

 

"You don't have to, I have a ride coming."

 

"Well I'm sure Dae Won wouldnt mind picking you up another day."

 

"Not everything is about Dae Won." Liqui snaps back, making Yong Sun in a awkward position.

 

Yong Sun prepares himself to pick up his bag and plate. "I'm going to eat at another roo-"

 

"No, there is no eating apart from the dinner table unless its a snack, you know that Li Yong Sun." Bom hisses, just by looking at the other end of the table, her jaw clenched together.

 

"I'm late for school." Liqui lets go of her chopsticks, forming a metal clang.

 

"No you're not, its only 7:50. I'm not letting you miss breakfast like how you missed dinner last night."

 

Interuppting the conversation, the doorbell rung, alarming their senses. "My rides here."

 

"Yong Sun, answer the door, tell Dae Won that he's going to have to pick up Liqui another time."

 

Due to Boms anger, it intimidates Yong Sun, causing him to scurry in a flash towards the door.

 

"I told you, its not Dae Won."

 

"Well, whoever it is, they are not taking you to school." Bom stands up, forming a barrier infront of the door to block Liquis way.

 

"Err, mom!"

 

Bom sighs. "Yes?"

 

"Its not Dae Won!"

 

"I told you." Liqui proved.

 

"Then who is it?!" Bom screams back.

 

"You may want to see for yourself!"

 

Before leaving the room, its not hard to miss Boms sadden gaze shooting towards Liqui.

 

We took the time to walk towards the door where an unfamilliar face stood by. Dry hair and unstyled too, appearing to have just come from bed, eyes that spell danger, a towering built that dominated everyone in the room apart from me and Yong Sun and the voice of a sore tiger.

 

"Who do we have here?" Bom forces a smile like she always does to cover her emotions.

 

"My ride." Bluntly, Liqui replies and brushes pass Boms shoulders, leaving unwanted glares.

 

"Babe, we're late." impassively, he wraps his arms around her neck, symbolising that she is his and only his.

 

"'Late'? Its only 7:54." Bom stays in her spot as she was ignored by the two walking to their car.

 

"Is that your sister? She's pretty hot." We heard a microscopic whisper escape his rusty lips.

 

"Just ignore her, she's not important."

 

The words from her own daughters mouth left the three of us dumbfounded, hearing your own daughter calling you 'not important' s something you would never expect after years of raising her and giving her what she wanted.

 

"M-mom, are you okay?" Yong Sun, known to be gentle, had his tender arms around his mother in his own comfort.

 

Bom bit tight on her lips as she formed a fist but she managed to calm down. "Who is he? What happened to Dae Won?!" Bom demanded answers and when she demands, she will recieve it.

 

"Thats what I've been trying to find out yesterday!"

 

Nearby, Boms handbag laid down on a glass table, she swiftly reaches in, pulling out her keys. "Can you do me a favour and follow the car?"

 

"Errr...."

 

"I dont care if you'll be late for school, we'll sort that out and its only one day."

 

"Mom, why can't you do it? I don't have my drivers license yet!" Yong Sun panicks, slightly letting go of the keys.

 

"I cant, your Uncle Jung Hwan is arriving soon."

 

"He is?!" My sons eyes widened due to the delight of hearing about his father figure coming back from the army.

 

"Yes, its supposed to be a surprise," Desperatly, Bom holds onto our sons hands, making him hold onto the keys tighter. "but I guess you had to find out now." Worridly, she swipes her fringes behind her ears.

 

A moment of silence fell deep into the baulked atsmosphere. "Okay." He breathes, containing a firm grip on the keys. "But if I make the slightest scratch on the car, you won't blame me right?"

 

"Course not."

 

"And if I die, tell uncle I love him." He shoots a cheeky wink, purposley not mentioning Bom or Liqui.

 

"What kind of nonsense are you talking about?" Bom forcefully twists Yong Suns body around to head out the door. "Now hurry! You might loose track of them!" She whoops him out the door without any regret.

 

It may seem that Bom doesnt care about Yong Suns life after putting his life at risk but Yong Sun is a skilled driver, I've been there in all the monitoring processes,  all his driving lessons and I was there during his writing exam, he has been praised alot and I'm sure Bom knows that very well so without a doubt, its okay for him to drive, all he hasnt done is his driving test, proceeding him to get his license which is next week.

 

Bom stays put, outside the doorstep to watch her son get into the car. What came to a surprise is Yong Sun running back as if he forgot something inside but instead, he plants a kiss on his mothers forhead along with the words, "I love you, mom. Thank you." He sends a trustworthy smile, leaving Bom pleased.

 

***

"I'm more than worried about her." Bom placed a cup of steaming tea for Jung Hwan on the dining table. "This morning, she said I'm not important infront of this 'delinquent'!"

 

"'Delinquent'?"

 

"Yeah, honestly, I did not like him one bit."

 

"'Him?' what happened to Dae Won?"

 

"Thats what I'm trying to find out."

 

"If you didnt like him, why didn't you say anything?"

 

"I would have if I could have! I stood there stupefied-I felt dumb, really, and I didn't want to look even more dumb."

 

"You care about what that 'delinquent thinks?"

 

"No, but I care about the words that come out of Liquis mouth."

 

Jung Hwan took one deep sip of his tea. "Do you think its a phase?"

 

"You're thinking exactly what I'm thinking, right?" The two gave eachother a nod, its like one of those twin telepathys but with siblings, whatever it is, me and Chiaoxiang never had that.

 

"It reminds you of Hana too, right?"

 

Bom gulps down her saliva, where you can see it flowing down . "Do you think that Liqui ever had thoughts of commiting suicide."

 

"Th-thats crazy. Bom, don't think like that, just because there are similarities, it doesnt mean she's going to result to suicide."

 

"You're right, I need to calm down.

Again, thanks for coming."

 

"No problem. I'd be honoured to Liqui to the father-daughter dance."

 

"I hope it doesnt affect your work." Bom seemed uneasy as she fiddled with her fingers.

 

"Nope, afterall, I am the Commander In Chief." Jung Hwan proudly lifts his mouth corners up to the sky, making a crescent shape with his lips whilst he pops out his chest to show off his many badges attatched to his uniform.

 

Bom folds her arms along with the new over-satisfied smile she's wearing. "You really rose to the top."

 

The click and clunks of the door knob from the main door alarmed them to stand up, expecting Yong Sun to succesfully bring back Liqui. Without hesitation, Bom walks to the door whilst Jung Hwan follows her lead. "Liqui, I'm so glad you're safe." Bom entered with a immense bear hug. Liqui stayed still with her eyes that rolled.

 

I'm slightly disappointed by Boms welcoming of Liqui, she shouldnt be too acceptable, Liqui will start to see her as a pushover which can lead her to doing all sorts of things.

 

"Uncle!" Yong Sun wasn't afraid to show his affection for Jung Hwan, he ran to his presance and embraced him, the way he ran reminded me of his 5-year-old self, when he claimed Jung Hwan to be the only male figure in his life.

 

"Whats this?" Jung Hwan furrowed his eyebrows at first glance, noticing the small but intense cut on his lip.

 

"Nothing, I bit my lip accidentally this morning."

 

"That was not there this morning." Bom hissed, pointing it out quickly.

 

"You just didn't see it, thats all." He fibbed.

 

"Mmmhmm." Bom raised a brow and faces Liqui again. "We need to talk."

 

"Mom, there is nothing to talk about."

 

"I can think of plenty of reasons why we need to talk." Bom focuses her eyes up and down Liquis outfit, making her point obvious.

 

"I don't want to talk."

 

"Cut the rebellious attitude." Bom snaps, not taking no for an answer. "I don't care if you want to or not, you live under my roof so its my rules, when I say we need to talk, we need to talk." Bom forcefully makes a tight grip on Liquis wrist, dragging her into a different room.

 

"Wow." Boms impression left our son speechless. "I've never seen mom like that." Both stared at the blank space where they last saw Liqui and Bom drifting off.

 

"I have."

 

"Really? When?-I bet it was when you guys were younger."

 

"Around your age, actually."

 

"Woah, did she talk to you like that? Isn't that grandma and grandpas job?"

 

"No, our parents died before me and my twin sister reached 5 years old."

 

"'T-twin sister'?"

 

"Her name is Hana. Park Hana."

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

Bom dragged Liqui into a room where we kept the things we didnt need anymore, lately, its been growing, it has almost filled the room-we were going to sell them to charity together, that is, until I became hospitalised. As I said, its been growing and its almost full but there were two empty spaces with 2 seats laying around, thats where Bom told Liqui to sit.

 

Judging by Boms expression, it seems she doesnt know how to start off, as if shesthinking wether to play bad cop or good cop.

 

"So let me get this straight, you came home yesterday with an atrocious attire than you were in the morning just because you are on your period. This morning, you show up with a completely different style, which I am not complaining because I do believe" she emphasises on those words as if shes trying to get her point heard. "that everyone can express themselves in their own way but today it is over the top, its very....whats the word? exposing."

 

"I don't see it that way." Liqui talks back to defend herself as she shrugs her shoulders like its nothing.

 

"You may not, but I do. You're my daughter and I dont want you going around dressed like that, its also your uniform which you're not allowed to tweak. Back to the topic, this morning, a boy who I am unfamilliar with arrives at our front door,giving me the impression that he is your new boyfriend?"

 

"Pretty much."

 

"You know the rules, Liqui." Bom shot lazers straight into Liquis eyes. "You're not allowed to date anyone without my consent! And what happened with Dae Won? He seemed like someone who would protect you, you know, like you."

 

"Yeah, 'would', its not like he wants to.