Why do I keep hoping for things that won't happen?

She's still here. There. Everywhere.

Its official, I'm crazy.

Even one little speck in my room reminds me of her, what the hell am I going to do with my life?

 

***

[3 years ago]

 

Bom traces her finger on his chest, twirling around it playfully as she rests on his shoulder.

"Why can't I sleep?" Bom wonders to herself, gaping up at Kris who had his eyelids closed at the dim light of the full moon peaking through the windows of Kris' bedroom. 

All of the muscles in Kris' body were at peace...

...That is until Bom carelessly awakened him from his slumber. "Kris, wake up." She whispers whilst shaking his upper body slightly.

The innocence showed on his slow awaken face, groaning, he wasn't prepared to be disturbed. "Get some sleep bommie." He turns his back to her to rest on his side leaving her head to lay on a pillow.

Bom scrunched her nose, not taking no as an answer. "Yah." She raised her voice slightly, pulling his body back so his back was in contact with the mattress.

His arm lifted up to rub his lazy eyes, his free arm reached over for his mobile at the end of the bed, the light from his phone awakened him vaguely but not enough. "Its midnight." he confirmed, covering his eyes with his forearm.

Contrasting their reactions, its a complete opposite, Bom is jittery and restless whereas Kris likes to enjoy his sleep.

"Lets go out." Bom sat up on the bed sat on her knees like a child. She waited for a response even though she can tell Kris is on falling back to sleep. "Pabo, are you listening?"

Kris pulled her back down and into his embrace, curving his arm around her whole body to keep her within his boundaries. "Where do you want to go?" he manages to reply.

Bom was unaware with his eyes still shut but she smiled anyway knowing he's listening. "Do you remember when we spent summer down by the lake?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Lets go there."

"Its midnight." He bluntly repeated, stating he wants to stay in bed again.

"So? More alone time." She giggled excitedly.

"Its September."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"We went in Summer, its colder now, especially if its midnight."

"More fun right?" She mentally planned what happened, the thrill of going into the forest at midnight in a full moon made her hyper-active.

"Sleeping is fun."

Bom jerked her body away from Kris back to the position she was in before, sitting in her knees. "Dont you want to do something different once in a while?"

His eyes fully relaxed together, trying to get back to his sleep. "We can do it in the morning."

Bom twitched her upper lip having thoughts on how to persuade him. She held onto his hand and started swaying back and fourth. "Oppa..." She pouted.

The sound of aegyo from Bom alarmed him from his sleep, he had one eye open automatically to assure himself what he's hearing was true. It was. It was about time he opened both of his eyes.

To him, Bom rarely does aegyo and when she does, he has to relish every moment of it.

Continuing to do aegyo and swaying his arms, she thought to herself that its working. "Can we please go to the lake?" Bom flutters her eyelashes.

 

 

With his free arm, he pulls his fringe back contemplating about it. "Fine, we'll have it your way."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kris and Bom held eachother hand in hand, sneaking out of the house. Bom jumped up and down from time to time expressing her enthusiasm. 

However Kris had a hard time trying to control his girlfriend since his brother was sleeping and the maids are possibly awake at a time like this cleaning around the house, luckily his mansion is immense so they may not hear them if they are on the right spot.

Instead of his luxury mitsubishi, he chose to drive an old truck that was covered by a blanket far out back the garage.

 

 

 

Kris parked his car by the lake on the grass which had long length of reaching up to their waist.

Bom hurdled out of the car whilst Kris had his usual pokerface and a calm attitude, he went to the back of the truck to find a torch.

She stood out enjoying the nature. 

Cricket noises were beeping constantly but neither of them didnt mind. Fireflies danced hovering over the water which enlightened Bom due to how beautiful the scenery is at midnight.

"Kris! Lets jump in the lake!" She suggested.

He instantly bobbed his head towards Bom, stopping himself from finding the torch. "Are you crazy?!"

"What are you doing?"

"Finding a torch."

Bom stomped over to Kris, blowing her fringe out of the way. She held onto his wrist, pulling him towards the water. "We dont need a torch, the moon is out and there are fireflies."

When they reached the edge of the water, Bom started lifting her shirt up to reveal her vest, leaving her shorts on. "C'mon, lets go in." She encouraged.

"I have nothing underneath me."

"Then go in shirtless." She shrugged her shoulders thinking its no big deal.

"Its cold."

"Its not like youre the only one going in the water."

"Its not fair, you have a shirt on." He whined like a child.

Bom rolled her eyes, placing her hands on the top of her shorts. "Should we both go in then?"

"Skinny dip?"

"Something like that." A grin appeared on her face showing her naughty side, knowing it'll be the first time revealing her body to him.

Kris became intruiged by the idea after the mention of 'Skinny dipping'. 

He helped himself take his clothes off where as Bom was already finished doing so.

Even though there are fireflies and the moon, it was still dark to get a closer look at eachothers bodies but Kris could definatly see a glimpse of Boms curves.

There was a rope attatches to a branch of the tree that reached out hovering over the edge. 

There is only one thing to do when they see that.

Bom fearlessly leaped her body over faintly to get a hold of the rope.

"Which one of us should go first?"

"Rock paper scissors?" Kris inquired leading Bom to agree with it.

As Kris lead them into the game with the calling, Bom pulled out a flat hand making it into paper whereas Kris had lost pulling out a rock meaning he's the first one to jump into the lake.

He blowed out a tad of fresh air hoping for some luck.

"Oppa! ~ Hwaiting!" Bom cheered him on, she doesnt do much of that but the fact that she did it at that certain time made him feel better but also cringe at how differently shes behaving.

Kris first leaped onto the rope, valiently wrapping his legs around it like Tarzan, he swayed into the middle of the lake and succesfully jumped in causing a loud hurrah from Bom in the background.

He shivered waiting for Bom to grab hold of the rope. "Hurry, I think I'm going to get hypothermia." Kris' muscles started to contractas he floated by himself.

"I'm coming!" Bom screamed.

Just like Kris, she was sweeped off her feet by the rope who lead her safely to jump into the lake like a cannonball causing a huge spash on Kris' face.

"Oh my gosh, you werent lying." Boms eyes widened realising the low temperature of the water.

"C'mon, lets go out."

Bom nodded in agreement, instantly covering her chest area with her arms whilst Kris supported her from the back holding onto her shoulders.

Both stood by the lake with dripping hair and moist skin, Kris grabbed the only towel he prepared from home to cover Bom who was trembiling by the minute.

"I-I'm sorry for making you come here." She apologises with regret.

Kris smiles faintly, brushing Boms saturated hair behind her ears.

"Its good to do something different once in a while."

***

 

 

 

We all have that one person we'll always have feelings for, no matter what. Just one look and it takes you back to those memories.

 

"Why is it so dark in here?" 

 

I jerked my upper body up from my bed to see Chiaoxiang with access into my room making me flinch a little.

 

"What are you doing here?"

 

"More importantly, what are you doing here?"

 

"Sleeping." I yawned as I scratched my bed head.

 

Chiaoxiang walked over to the window with the blinds shut by my bedside. With care, he opens them widely in a split second making sunlight beam directly into my eyes.

 

My upper body fell back down as gravity took its place. "Its too bright!" I covered my eyes.

 

"Kris-ge, its 2PM and you're still sleeping?"

 

"Why is it so damn bright? Its supposed to be Winter."

 

"Well its Spring now."

 

Without rushing, I moved myself into a more comfortable position. "Liar." I pouted in disbelief.

 

"Its March now gege."

 

"Its January." I corrected him confidently.

 

"I cant believe the maids couldn't get you out of your room for two months."

 

"Is it really March?"

 

Infront of me, Chiaoxiang facepalmed himself making me look bad. "What have I been trying to tell you?"

 

"Its Boms birthday soon."

 

Almost loosing his temper, he stomps his way over to my bed cleaning up the sheets, duvet and pillows causing me to shift from side to side. "Bom this, Bom that, when the hell are you going to stop?" He muttered.

 

"I heard that."

 

"You need a friend, seriously."

 

"I'm not lonely."

 

"Id hate to say this, but you are."

 

I rolled my eyes as I bent my back forward at the edge of my bed to reach for the pack of cigarrettes at the bottom of my bed I hid last month. "Whatever you say." I mummbled with the cigar in my mouth, about to light it up.

 

"What the are you doing?" Chiaoxiang cussed, extending his arm out to snatch it away from me.

 

He managed to get the pack and my lighter but not the cigar currently in my mouth.

 

"I'll just buy a new pack tommorow." Problem solved!

 

"I'll stop you from doing so. Gege, when did you start?!"

 

"Last month?"

 

"I never saw you leave the house!"

 

"I know my ways." The corners of my mouth performed a sly smirk as I blew out a puff.

 

"Gege, you can't smoke!"

 

"And how are you going to stop me? I'm 24 years old Chiaoxiang! I can do whatever I want."

 

"And what are you going to do if you get Lung Cancer?"

 

"Then I'll say goodbye to my life." I tipped a bit of the burnt nicotine out and it landed on my bed making a smudge on the white sheets. "There's no point in living anyway."

 

"Gege, you're depressed."

 

"Damn right I am." I said it loud and proud.

 

"Gege, you can't die, you can't do this to yourself, have you ever thought about how much this will affect us?"

 

 

 

 

"Then consider this as revenge for causing Hanas death."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A long pause leading to a road of silence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hyung." He starts with Korean. "I really do care for you."

 

Those words of sweetness warmed the cold inside of me but it wasnt enough. Those sweet words coming from my own brothers mouth. Those sweet words coming from a murderers mouth, he's not the same.

 

"When the did you change?" I repeatedly kept asking myself but now I finally asked him in person. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm not the one whos changed in here."

 

***

 

 

 

Lack of sleep, lack of emotions, lack of pity and lack of attention, I sit on the floor with a bottle of whisky, feeling sober as the drink starts to kick in.

 

 

Knock Knock.

 

"Yeah?" I responded after an unanticipated knock.

 

The maid who knocked on the door slightly opened it but didnt reveal her face. "Mr.Wu, there is someone here to see you?"

 

Thoughtlessly, I took one load of a sip out of my Jack Daniels. "Who is it?"

 

"He says he's an old friend of yours."

 

Not thinking of anyone, I told the maid to him into my room.

Normally, if someone came to visit me, I'd be wizzing around the room tidying up the foor, picking up random things and putting them in places without reason as long as it looks tidy.

 

But now I'm not bothered.

 

I sat in the exact same place without moving an inch.

 

The floor.

 

The floor creaked signalling he's near and the sound of his footsteps tells me he or she is rich. I couldn't quite make out if it was a boy or a girl, the person wasnt wearing heels for sure.

 

At the corner of my eye, the door opened but I took no notice.

 

"." A husky yet hushed tone was thrown at me.

 

He stood infront of me and all I noticed were his snake skinned shoes made from Gucci.

 

Grinning, I took at the glimpse of the younger friend of mines face.

 

His name is Huang Zitao ~ Tao for short. We're not the same age, only 3 years younger but that doesnt mean we arent close.

 

"In Korea, we dont greet our friends by calling them ''s." 

 

"You do when a friend stoods you up twice, ignores you for two ing months and doesnt bother picking up their phones."

 

No comment.

 

I kept gawking at him forgetting about hpw rude it is, he wasnt eyeing me but the Jack Daniels I held.

 

"Yah!" He kicked me, making me reach my senses. "Get a hold of yourself."

 

I managed to get myself up with an unbalanced posture. "What are you? My girlfriend?" I looked down on the male. "How did you find me?"

 

"Chiaoxiang called me."

 

I walked passed him, violently brushing past his shoulders. "I'm not lonely." My mouth mummbled.

 

"What was that?"

 

My body twitched around 180° back to Tao with narrowed eyes and my veins protruding.

 

"And I'm not ing depressed!" Suddenly my legs began to tremble making me loose my balance as the room started to spin around continuously.

 

The last part of sight I saw was Tao running towards me, shouting, shouting something I couldnt quite hear because my hearing became distant.

 

Other voices rushed coming in but mostly I heard Boms.

 

Is Bom here? Is Spring here?

 

Bom save me.