Chapter 6. 

Zelo memories.

Days are getting longer. Zelo was waiting his hyungs in the pale morning light. His breath made a white mist in the cold air. But the red color of the sky couldn't warm his heart anymore. He heard light footsteps quietly aproching. Himchan and Yongguk rejoined Zelo and climbed in the black car parked next to a uprooted tree. 

The doctor called them this morning. He will tell them the results. 

Zelo flashbacked a few weeks ago. They were all dazzed when they saw the tear falling. The proof that he could hear them. That their words weren't vain. That there was hope. 

A little light of hope in this dark world. 

But the brain monitor stopped immediately after and the doctors urged them to quit the room. 

A little light of hope already died in the morning which had just started. 

And weeks without news. Without knowing. Deserperely hoping a thing which will never come. 

In the car, they were on their way facing the reality. 

The silence settled the car once again. Zelo put his head on the window of the car, looking at the mist hiding the sun. 

He was scared. Scared of what the doctor have to tell them. Scared of reality. They avoid it for too long time. Hoping that it will change. Vainly.

Humans are scared of knowing. They always avoid the reality when the future isn't going the way they want. They close their eyes on the fate which is taking far away the persons they love. And they do nothing exept cry when they realize that they've lost all that had a meaning in their life. 

And they always remind their past as a painful memory. 

The car stopped in a screech. Without a word, the members went out of the car. They did the same walk in the hospital, following their past steps. They wait next to the same door. Sat on the same chairs. 

And the same doctor came. With the same worries in the eyes.

"Follow me", he said. Zelo looked in the eyes of Yongguk, which were as wide open as his. 

We don't go see Daehyun ? We don't go in his room ?

They sat on a dark room, the sun lightning thin rays on the floor. The doctor cross his hand And looked down. Like the last times, he didn't looked at them right in the eyes. He cleaned his throat and articulate :

- I will tell you the results. Daehyun isn't in his room. He's in intensive care since two days. Because of the wound, we found a tumor in his brain. And since two days, we found that it damage his brain functions. Last hours, the tumor didn't stop growing. 

I'm sorry, we couldn't find any brain cells donor. If we didn't find any donor in the next hours, we are going to stop the intervention. His parents are agree. But they ask us to call you before. Before doing... the last thing we have to do.

The echo of his hesitation resounded in the empty room.

How did a body used to recieve pain react ? It can fight and fight again. But when it understand that it isn't the stronger ? It just endure. And hope for a faster death.

And a mind used to know false hopes. It end by believe in nothing. They didn't break down. Deeply in them, they know that behind their hopes, there was always this reality they want to never hear. 

He's dying. 

The doctor swallowed and say in a hesistant voice :

- I'm sorry but I fear that you'll couldn't see him a last time before we stop the intervention. But I've heard that you said him goodbye last time, don't you ?

Zelo bite his lips. Yes, in a way they said him goodbye. Thinking of the cold body laying on the bed gave him goosebumps. But he didn't know where Daehyun really was.

Where are you ? Are you fighting against death in the cold room, or have you already reach the angels world ?

The doctor quietly quit the room while  spluttering some explanations.

But Zelo wasn't listening. His mind was flying in another world. He wanted his words reach Daehyun's world.

Daehyun. Can you hear me ? I miss you. I miss you so much. The days without you aren't the same. Everyday I miss your smile. Life is so empty. I want you with me. I want you to come back. But I know it's impossible. And selfish. Each second since you're gone, I've hope that you will open your eyes. I've cried thinking of why you didn't wake up. I've waited the day you will smile again. 

But now it's different. I've understand that the way for you to not suffer is quitting the world we were together. Now I don't want you to be hurt by our wish of making you stay in our side. I don't want you to come back. I gave you a farewell. Even if one day I will think of you, I want to remember you as a beautiful memory. Even if it take a long time. Even if thinking of you make my heart ache even more. Even if one day I blame you because you're dead. 

I will never forget you. Even if I wanted, I think you will pierce my mind each time I start erase your face. You will continue to live into our hearts, even if you don't want to. Just let your soul leave this world. And your memory haunt us until we stop breathing.

I say you goodbye. Until the day we meet again...

A trembling hand landed on Zelo's shoulder. Himchan was starring at him with teary eyes : 

- It's over Zelo. Come here. You're not alone. 

Zelo let tears silently fell. And they tightly hugged each other. They left all their hopes here. But they weren't alone. They were strong together. 

- I wanted to be six here.

The wishper of Zelo froze them.

- Oh Zelo, you know you can't.

- But why have we to be separate one by one ?

Himchan didn't answer.

- Why did Youngjae go when he needed him ? Why he didn't say him goodbye.

The voice of Zelo was trembling.

Himchan slowly answered :

- Youngjae... We said we won't talk about what happened. 

- But I want to know ! Where is he ? Why do you seems so sorry when I call his name ?

- Zelo ! You're not a baby ! Stop that now !

Himchan was near to shout. His eyes were red and deeply looked at Zelo.

- Hyung, why won't you tell me...

- It's something you don't have to know...

Zelo explosed. All his despair, all his tears let out in one second :

- Why ? Why have you to leave one by one ? Why can't we stay together ? 

His tears were rolling down his cheeks. 

- I just wanted us to be happy. I just wanted us a beautiful future. Why it had to be like this. Why can't we live as humans. Humans cry. Humans fall. But humans hope. They hope, they believe, they trust. Why it's so different ? I just want to be human. 

I just want to believe that there was hope. I just want to feel something except the cold which froze my heart. 

But I can't hate because there's nothing to hate. The only one I can hate is me. I hate me, the one who didn't stop him to go out this night. The one who didn't follow his in that dark street. The one who didn't confort him when he was crying.

The one who wasn't here. 

One step back. Yongguk tried to grab his hand. He was already broken.

The door closed. And they didn't retain him. Tried to catch the wind. 

Yongguk and Himchan stayed in the room, avoiding each other gaze. Just a wishper pierced the heavy silence :

- Why do I keep thinking that it will never end ?

Zelo was sleeping on the couch. His beer, barely drank, was reversed on the floor. He was woken up by a terrible headache. He yawned and immediately closed his mouth. He heard voices. Zelo tried to listen carefully :

-... Your fault...

- ... Always... Friend...

- ... Way... Here...

- ... You... Anymore... 

-...

His head hurt even more. He didn't understand what was happening. 

The importance of this instant.

The second when their lives broke in thousands pieces. It just needed one word. 

At this second, it was the last time they were together. They were together. Until this second, they always be with each other. They shared happiness. They shared tears. They shared wins. They support each other. They only wanted to shared their voices in the entire words. Left a print on this earth. 

They needed each other. If one of them was down, they always did their best to make him smile. They just wanted to be humans.

But since this second, all their future was lost. They will never be together again. They will never be happy together again. All the things they do together will only be memories. Their destiny just broke into thousand pieces. Thousand pieces they tried to find endlessly. Because they were lost forever. 

They couldn't have a forever together. Because it simply doesn't exist. 

At this second, the door slammed.

At this second, he was gone.

At this second, they didn't know that the end just started.

 71.