H e l l o ~

It's been a while :) Have you listened to Gravity? (Which i assume you did!) Are you all having a nice 2016? So far so good? 

--

 

 

Jessica walked out of her room to come into her mom's. Her dad isn't around yet so only the three of them is at their home. Soojung, her mom and her. They left Korea at the same time while her dad still have some works to do.

"I'm afraid mom ..." She heard Krystal said with some sobs when she was going to turn the knob to enter so she paused in her spot and just turn to listen

"Afraid? You're not the one who's going to lay down in that table .. So why?"

"Because we're anemic .. And also ... What if ... what if something wrong happens?"

"Your unnie might pass by and hear you saying that you know. How do you think she'll feel like? She's depending on us. What would happen if you're the one who is already feeling like the one to give up?"

"Unnie is sleeping in her room. But mom ... I'm really scared. I don't want anything bad to happen"

"Don't say anything like that hmm? Don't feel that way either. Sooyeon would get through it"

"Hmm"

"I'm sorry that I'm taking things tough for you too soojungie" She mumbled before leaving their home to head outside

 

She sat where the waves couldn't reach her but a little far from their home. She craned her neck to the left while her arms was on top of her knees. The next thing she saw was Yoona sitting next spot where she was.

"What?"

"..."

"What? Why do you keep on staring at me? Is this the first time so pretty that it got you starstrucked?"

"You're so full of yourself you know?"

"You even said it yourself that my beauty is no joke so how wouldn't i be"

"Tch"

"But ... What's making you sad that you've come here?"

"Did i say that I'm sad?"

"I'm so cool that you don't need to say it for me to know"

"I'm serious here"

"Seriously, what's the problem?"

"..."

"Perhaps ... The kiss?" Jessica bit her lip red-handed. It was the thing that she was sad about. Can it still be considered as a 'kiss'? because it would be too long to consider as one "Thank you sooyeon-ie"

"For what?"

"Just ... You don't have to be sad about that hmm? It's just work"

"But still ..."

"Still?"

"It's long enough and you're not even sad about it?"

"Why would i be sad about it? We kissed, french kiss, or whatever kiss is that ---"

"Shut up" Jessica covered Yoona's mouth with her palm so that Yoona wouldn't be able to say things more "How can you say things like that?"

"Madjgkhljk"

"What?"

"I said it's true"

"Do you have to tell it here?"

"Then, do you want me to do it here?" She answered biting her lips

"Yoongie ... right now ... you look like a ert"

"Ah! Let's see what this ert can do" Yoona smirked and Jessica stood to run away "YAH! I'm not going to do it! I was just teasing you"

"Oh? Your eyes spoke for itself!"

"HAHAHAHAHA! Just for a minute"

"No way"

"Finee! Let's go back to the dorm"

"I'll go on by myself. I don't want anything bad to happen tonight ~"

"Too bad ~  Something bad is just ... right ... behind you" Yoona replied blocking Jessica's way closing the door of Jessica's car when she tried to open it.

"At ... the car?"

"Why not"

"But ... We did it last night ... Plus you did it this morning before i could leave"

"But this morning wasn't that too long"

"O-okay" Jessica was as red as tomato when she answered that

"Kidding. I just fetched you here. You have Musical, Drama, plus Soshi's schedule. Be a good girl and not to get sick again, hmm?" Yoona answered giving Jessica a kiss before opening the door in the driver's seat

"You came to fetch me? But you didn't bring your car"

"Because i know you did. I didn't so we would go back together in one car"

"Ah yeah. You should stop reading books. Seriously. You're applying the cheesy lines to me"

"I can't help it ~"

 

"How funny. Why do i always remember that scene when i want to be alone?" She sighed and turned to her right

 

Yoona is contemplating whether she'll approach the crying Jessica or not. Just like the old times, or more like the usual, they're at that beach. The same beach Jessica always go to.

 

"Go home. I will go home too. Don't worry." Jessica said without raising her head before Yoona could tap her shoulder "I want to be alone for some time" with that, Yoona left. 

 

She was still in that spot even though Yoona have left already. The little fight they had at the dorm was taken at home that eventually turned into a full blast fight. Yoona was the one at fault so she took the liberty of going out. She felt something dropped beside her so she looked at it and found a can of soda that has a sticky note in it

'I know that you're mad, disappointed or anything to me. I'm sorry' was the note written in it

"Show up yourself right now" She called out randomly and Yoona slowly walked out from where she was hiding "You ... We're going to fight again?"

"No. I - I don't want to."

"Then, Why can't you just leave me alone?!"

"I know i did wrong but still, i proved otherwise."

Jessica scoffed first "I don't know what to say for this day .. really." she stood up and dusted her clothes

"And that's why I'm sorry"

"Sorry? Again? You're all sorry. We'll argue, you say sorry and it's okay. It's so easy for you to say that." She spat out gritting her teeth not to burst out. She was kinda tired on how they're all fights 

"Not that ... I was afraid that you'll leave. I was afraid that you're tired of this. That fighting is our routine now. I'm scared. I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to go" She held Jessica by the hem of its shirt

"I don't want to leave. But you ... you just .."

"Never change. I couldn't change it .. but I'll try more."

"Give me time" Jessica left brushing her hand away

"Don't go ... Don't leave ..." Yoona pleaded 

"I won't. Go home now" Jessica craned her head without turning back before leaving

 

"What could've happened if i didn't work it out with you? Would we be at the same spot now, or we could've been any better? I wish i could know that. Maybe if the answer is yes, i would've ended things back then."

"I'll seriously go crazy because of you. You keep on popping up out of nowhere"

 

 

- 2 days later -

 

"Jung sooyeon-nim, are you sure that you're fine?" Krystal asked as they were still laying down beside each other in one bed. It was a hobby they liked to do, sleeping beside each other.

"Ne Jung soojung-nim"

"Don't you dare vomit blood and pass out just like how you did back in Korea before we left. Or else,"

"Or else what?"

"I'll tell mom to hit you in the "

"Mom never hitted me though. Are you talking about other mom?"

"Then, I'll tell mom to let you stand in the corner for, uhm, 10 years"

"Thank you soojungie"

"For what? I'm lecturing you now" Krystal scolded yet came as a whine somehow

"That you're lecturing me. For tolerating me even you're younger than i am"

"So, You have to be strong during that surgery. I still have lots of things to tell you. I haven't met you for awhile so there's a lot that i want to share to you."

"Like what?"

"Well, That's a secret. I'll tell you when the surgery goes well and nothing bad happens."

"Why not now?"

"Just ... So that you have a reason to see me after the surgery" Krystal pursed her lips

"Aigoo~ You still like beating around the bush eh? But .. don't worry. I'll be brave and even see you even if you have nothing to say. I'll get through it"

"You should! If not, i won't talk to you ever again"

"Hehe~ so cute. Anyway, How come you're here?"

"I got used to sleeping with you.. i can't help it, i guess?"

"And?"

"Because i miss you. I want to spend more time with you until it's not yet time for you to be confined

"My baby missed me so much" Jessica pinched Krystal's cheeks. She was sure that it was midnight when she entered her room so she really don't know how Krystal woke up together with her.

"But unnie ..."

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."

"Tell it"

"Perhaps .. Is that annoying coming?"

"Clinton? He wouldn't. I didn't let him to. Plus, He has something to do. Why?"

"Because ..."

"Because?"

"If he is, I'll at least tell her about you"

"Why do you keep insisting that one?"

"Why not?"

"I told you that we broke up already. What's the point in telling her when we didn't do that before?"

"She's nice to me be it concerning you or not. I just want to pay back, even just a little"

"You two must be close huh?"

"Yeah."

"..."

"But ..."

"But?"

"Did you two broke up because of your surgery?"

"No. That's not the reason. Aigoo. Why are you so problematic about what we had before?" Jessica asked pinching Krystal's nose

 

'I wish it was. It would've been easier that way. But now, i just don't know' She thought to herself. She didn't tell Krystal that they've been fighting all the time and so because that was their fight and that fight is the ones she doesn't tell anyone. Maybe that's what makes their relationship harder. Because they only leaned to each other since then.

--

(Another Day)

 

"Sooyeon, Where is Soojungie?" Her dad asked her when she headed down to the living room to eat. 

"Didn't she told you? She'll be going out with her friends today"

"She must've forgotten to tell me about it. Your mom isn't even here"

"Why?" She asked sitting down in their table with the bread, peanut butter and jelly she'll eat

"I was going to ask her to go an errand for me. Forget it"

"I can do it." She insisted before taking a bite on her sandwich

"Can you do it?"

"Hmm. I'll just eat. Are you rushing?"

"No. I'll just be the one to do it. What if something bad happens to you? Just stay home, alright?"

"I insist dad. I've been staying in since the time we arrived. I can really do it and i assure you that I'll be fine. I can go after i eat"

"Okay then. You know my friend's son? The one who's working part time being a lifeguard?"

"Kevin? He still works in that hotel?"

"Yes. He has the file i needed. Can you go there and claim it for me? I'll call him and tell that you're coming"

"I will."

 

 

Jessica headed out after she finished eating. She immediately headed to that hotel. Kevin was one of the few who she used to play with when she was still young. She approached the clerk as soon as she arrived and the girl told her that Kevin is on duty so she could just head to the pool area. She headed there but took steps backward when she saw her. Her, the one she didn't bid a goodbye to. Her, the one she didn't expect to see now. It was only the two of them at that pool area as Kevin left already as if it was planned.

"Wh - what are you doing here?"

"Stop keeping everything for your own now. You don't have to be in one side. I'm here and I'm hurt as much as you think i am. You're the one who's hurting"

"I asked ... What are you doing here"

"I'll answer that. But first, stop where you are. Don't move." Yoona held Jessica's hand for her not to take another step back. "Do you think you being sick hurts me? No. Do you think arguing with you often hurts me? No. Do you think that doing whatever you think could hurt me, actually hurts me? No. But you slowly losing from my touch, is the hardest part. It's what hurts me the most. I know that we're not seeing each other as much as how we do before. But, that one is still okay. Because i know that still, even when i don't meet you on some days, i could make - it up to you. Even if things are not the same the way they are and everything doesn't seem to be the way they used to be, we're enduring it. Together."

Jessica snigged "I only asked why are you here and you end up spatting dramatic stuffs." she sniggered again "How pathetic"

"I came here to take care of you. What more?"

"Take care of me?" Jessica asked amusedly "Since when did you become a nurse? Stop wasting time and go back to Korea" she turned her back and walked to enter the hotel again

"Don't go." She hugged Jessica tightly

"Yoongie ..."

"..."

"I'm gone. Past tense yoongie. I already did. So stop this now. You're only hurting yourself."

"Right .. I'm only hurting myself..." Yoona released her a bit "But, didn't you say it when we almost broke up before? You love me so you were fine with dying. I'm feeling the same. I love you and I'm fine with dying. Even though it hurted, hurts or will hurt more." she can't help but to release her tears. She said it to herself that she wouldn't cry but she can't hold it in anymore. "I love you with what you were, what you are, and what will you be. I'll love you even if it hurts. I didn't love you because i knew that you wouldn't hurt me. But i know that the love we have would give us more than the hurt could ever do. I've grown to love every bits of your flaws, because they are what make what you are. I dislike stuffs a little just because you dislike it or like it more because you like it. Still, i like some stuffs you don't like but we're perfectly fine with that. You see, we have differences but that didn't matter. Just because you don't like it means i have to dislike it too. You made me realize that. You didn't love me because i do too."

"And that's why I'm letting you go from the hurt you've felt. You can be better. Maybe we're like this because we came to a point where we realize that we made each other learn a lesson a lot. About many things and some other."

"And that's why i can't seem to be away from you. Because i feel the best with you. You don't need to push me away to make me feel better because i feel the best when I'm close to you. When i can be with you on your lazy days, when i can take care of you when you have a cold, when we can take a stroll, do crazy things together. Everything fits with you to do it with me. So instead of pushing me away when you're hurt, let me be stay close to you. I know i can't ease the pain but still, i want to take some of it. You were wrong when you said that if its hurting you, its killing me. Truth is, it's killing the both of us. It won't stop unless we fight it. I know that you're having a tough time now. I know that you've been hurting secretly at one side. And so, that has to stop. We have to fight it. It's the only way to refrain it from killing us. Fighting it. I know i can't help you fight it but let me be to be by your side while you fight what's hurting you. I wouldn't leave you. I wouldn't let you to get through it all alone. I'm certainly not letting that to happen. I want you to get through it with me seeing how everything's going on."

"Thank you for trying. Really. If it wasn't too late, then maybe, i could've really answered just like the way you've told me to."

"What are you saying? You'll get over it. It's just a surgery" Yoona asked turning Jessica around 

"You know what made me love you?" She paused to wait for Yoona's answer but got nothing so she continued "It's because you never fake how you feel. You laugh when you're happy, you hide in the room when you're sad, you let your temper out when you're mad or angry and you cry when its hurting you already." She raised her hand to wipe off the tears Yoona have in her eyes "And i like it when you're acting brave"

"Why can't you just let me take care of you? Why can't you let me stay by your side?"

Jessica sighed "I want to deal things by myself. Don't get involved, hmm?"

"You're so unfair you know? You take care of me, even to the point of taking a leave from work. But when i do it, you don't let me to"

"Because it's a different story."

"Complicated or not, i want to do so. It's the same thing. Don't think that it's a burden because i don't consider it as one. Loving you isn't a burden. Just like how taking care of you"

"Then, what is this? Aren't i doing already?"

"This? It's not a burden sooyeon-ah. It's like showing that you're weak  and I'm here to give you strength. I'll give you my hand to hold. You just have to hold it. Suffering alone doesn't make sense at all. You're already hurting and yet, you're still hurting yourself more"

"Still ..."

"The more you push me away from you, the more i want to be closer to you. So, stop doing that. You'll only get annoyed because i won't do so"

"..."

"Let's not make this any harder, shall we? I heard that you can't be stressed"

"Says who?"

"The doctor"

"Ahhh. Clinton told you?"

"No. I really knew because of the doctor and not because of that ..." Yoona rolled her eyes. She still doesn't like the guy but she's thankful that Clinton made way for her to know about that

"And how did you know that I'm here?"

"I didn't know. I thought you'll be at your home ..." Jessica glared "Kidding" 

"Soojung told you, didn't she?"

"No"

"Clinton?"

"Definitely not."

"Then, How come you know?"

"Your parents invited me here. So ... does that answer it?" Yoona asked scratching her nape embarrassed about her revelation

"MY PARENTS?!"

"Yes. Your mom called me and then i headed here with your dad."

"Then ... you mean .... me coming here is all part of the plan?" Yoona can't answer the question as Jessica is slowly getting the picture "Wow! I feel so betrayed. Just wow" 

"Fascinating isn't it? Ahhh. I have a lovely mother-in-law and father-in-law"

"In-laws my . Go to your in-laws then"

"Hehe~ I miss this so much. Welcome back Spoiled princess Sooyeon" she answered holding Jessica's hand as they head out of that hotel together

"Princess my too" Jessica tried to remove it but Yoona is holding it tight

"I told you not to let go. I'll hold like this. Very tight. You can't go"

"Tch. Move away! You don't even know where I'm going"

"It's okay~"

"I'll let you get lost in the wilds or in the city"

"Really? With me holding your hands tightly?" Jessica stopped in her tracks for a realization only to get flicked in the forehead "Babo"

"Babo?!" Jessica asked shockingly "You ... let .... " she raised the hand that Yoona was holding. Particularly her left hand and Yoona's right hand. "GO!" she bit Yoona's hand before dashing out

"YAH!!!!!!!!" She shouted stopping on that spot as her hand was shook at that action. "Dogsica is back what the hell" she shakes her hand to let go the numb feeling "SOOYEON-AH!" she called out again when Jessica was already inside the car. She forgot one thing though. She called Jessica 'YAH' which was bluntly confessed to her not to call because she really dislike. She tried to open the door of Jessica's car but to no avail "Don't leave me here. I don't have dollars with me" 

Jessica started the engine mumbling to herself how dead Yoona would be later on 'You're dead to me Im Yoona. Who are you calling 'YAH' huh'

"You can't leave me here!" She whined as she lay at the hood of Jessica's car. So, having no choice, Jessica headed out

"What the hell?" Jessica tried making her go down only to have cuffs on her right hand

"I finally got you."

"Remove this while I'm still asking nicely." She commanded gritting her teeth

"What to do? You chose it this way sooyeon-ah. I told you i won't let go and I'll find ways to keep you close. Now you have to stick to me like a real thief you are. Tch tch" Yoona answered cuffing her left hand with the other as she left the car's hood and standing up in front of Jessica

"Thief??"

"I told you that you stole my heart. So, that makes you a thief, right?"

"Where is the key?"

"The key ..."

"Yes. They key! The key to this cuffs"

"I placed it in the strap of my bra. So, if you really want it, get it." Yoona leaned down to whisper that

"What?" Jessica flushed red

"Over here" She point it out

"Are you crazy?"

"I'm just being honest. What's the purpose of lying anyway" She let Jessica's hand to touch where the key was

"YAH!! You're really crazyyy!!"

"Excuse me girls, what's the problem over here?"

"Uhm... Mike, There's no problem. We can deal with this on our own. Thank you for the initiative"

"What's with that?" He pointed out to the cuffs they have

"Cuff of love" Yoona answered

"Oh sorry. I shouldn't have meddle in the first place" The guy left embarrassedly

"What do we do now? I'm not going to get that from there, so, get it"

"I'm not crazy enough to do that either. There's a lot of people and you want me to get the key from my strap?"

"Why did you put in there the first place?"

"Because ..."

"Because?"

"I know that you wouldn't dare get it from there" Yoona grinned teasing Jessica with her whispers and in husky voice. It's been a while that they interacted that way.

"Now what do we do?!"

"Let's go on an adventure!"

"There's no way. I want to go home"

"Can you go home?" Yoona asked raising their connected hand

"I want to go home. I'm hungry"

"Perfect timing! I was going to ask you to eat. Want to go out on a date?"

"Let's go. Be thankful that I'm hungry or else i wouldn't really go anywhere with you in this handcuff"

"Thank you sooyeon's tummy." Yoona said as she give a pat on Jessica's tummy

"Yoongie ... Do you have a jet lag or are you, still in right mind?"

"I still think of you, so yes its still right. Lock your car now and let's go"

"Lock? Why for?"

"I told you that we're going on an adventure. And adventure is not about the destination. It's about the journey."

"So what's the plan?"

"For now, lock your car. Next, let's look around or decide where to eat. Then, i don't know. You really don't need a plan when you're in an adventure"

"We're leaving my car here??"

"Yeah??"

"Why??"

"As if you could drive on one hand. Unless you're Yoona, it would be plausible"

"What did you say?"

"I