Love.

That was always a subject that made me cringe when I was a little girl. I've always hated the thought of some germ infested boy coming up to me and kissing me and touching me in general. I thought that it was, and I quote, "icky and yucky". 

I kind of changed my mind around the time where I was first starting to go to medical school. I met a guy and he was everything in my eyes and my parents'. He was smart, funny and handsome. He had it all except one thing- caring. Let's just say that after getting arrested, he erased me from his life and told me that a murderer like me would only bring him down.

Ouch.

Now, I don't even know what I think about love. I'm not quite sure even.

"So... You and-"

"Shut up."

"Are you two-'

"Shush!"

"Hey, I'm not the one sneaking around and kissing-"

"I said stop!" I whined like a little kid and blocking my ears. "We're just friends." I muttered.

"Didn't seem like it. You don't see me kissing you." Hyoyeon scoffed as the line for the food advanced. "So, how long?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I frowned. "And we're not... A thing." I whispered to her angrily.

"Whatever makes you sleep at night, but mark my words, I will make you tell me." She smirked and took a tray with some food.

After dinner, it was inspection time. I waited patiently for Lu Han to come around and check our cell, but it was taking him longer than usual. I frowned, biting my lower lip as Hyoyeon stood beside me, giggling to herself.

"What's taking your prince charming so long?" She joked and I nudged her side. "Ow! Damn, you became stronger. Did Officer Lu Han made you-"

"You're disgusting!" I gagged while she burst out laughing until someone cleared his throat. I turned to smile at Lu Han, but it turned into a scowl when I saw Officer A.Hole.

"What are we talking about, ladies?" He grinned that little erted grin of his. Hyo and I both kept silent, cursing him out in our minds.

"Where's Officer Lu Han?" I asked bluntly and he creased his forehead. Hyo smacked my back subtly, telling me to shut the hell up.

"Why are you looking for him?" He asked, slightly scowling.

"Because he's in charge of this sector. He's usually the one who inspects our cells." I shot back, feeling angrier each time I speak to him. I don't know where I found all this courage, but it sure as hell was making me seem more tougher than I actually am.

"Yul, shut the up." Hyoyeon whispered to me. 

"Watch your mouth, girl." He warned, but I didn't want to back down. "You don't want to be punished, do you?" I kept my mouth shut no matter how angry I was.

As he opened the cell, I immediately felt my breath hitch. The cell was way too small at the moment and I wanted nothing more but to run out the door. He skimmed his eyes around our beds and everything before coming up to me. His breath sending uncomfortable shivers down my spine as I tried not to even breathe the same air as him.

"Have you been given anything?" He questioned and I saw the evil glint in his eyes. He was planning something. His face was way to close for comfort and I had to fight the urge to just push him away.

"No." I said huskily, keeping my icy stare on him.

"I smell narcotics on your breath." He ran his calloused fingers on my jaw and I pulled away as soon as possible.

"Well, then I guess your tight-knit security facility is flawed." I shot back, watching the anger rise in him. "I didn't take anything and never will." 

In an instant, my big mouth got me in trouble once again. This is turning into a bad habit and I need to fix it if I want to survive my sentence. I felt my skull hit the cement wall behind me and I bit down on my bottom lip to keep me from screaming in pain. I was being, once again, pressed against the wall.

Hyoyeon stood right next to me, contemplating about doing something to get him off of me, but I shot her a look. It was too much of a risk for her to do anything drastic especially to a guard. She stood back and kept an eye on me.

"You know, I can simply take your word and turn away..." Once his breath hit my neck, my entire body froze and I looked anywhere but his eyes. "But I think I need a full body search just to be sure."

"NO!" I screamed when he started pulling on my arm. I might get into even more trouble for resisting, but the Hell Hole was a thousand times better than being touched by this creep. "Let me go! I said I didn't take anything!" 

Before I could register anything, I found myself facing the ceiling while laying on a metal bed. I was scared for my life and my whole bad attitude started slipping away. My body was trembling and I begged it to stop. My eyes shot around the room, but couldn't see much because someone else was on me, preventing me from moving.

Slowly, I felt the fabric on my shoulder slip off and so did a few tears. I cried. The more clothes that were removed, the more I cried and the more it hurt to breathe. 

It only took a total of 10 minutes to break me down, change me. I am only thankful that he didn't go as far as I thought he would, but that doesn't help the fact that I was stripped of all my clothes, gawked at by a guard like I was some display. I've never been so humiliated and scared in my entire life. His eyes scanned my shakng body until he had had enough and threw my clothes in my face.

I was cold, immobile and numb. I wish I could've stayed like that forever, but I was forced to change back into my clothes and go back to my cell where I laid on my stiff bed...

Emotionless.

Gone.

Completely numb.