Chapter 7
Complicated LoveA/N:
hey guys... sigh, i haven't updated in a while because of school and you guys have no idea how much i want to update this fic rather than do essay and whatnots so yeah...
hope you guys still care about his fic...
so here you go, another chapter!!
- immaLocket029
GWIBOON
After Jinki know of my whereabouts, I decide to finish eating and took a stroll around the mall. If felt so much better walking around without so many people. It feels like I’m the only one who is shopping that day. Although there are quite a few people walking around buying different things, it still felt nice to walk around comfortably and freely. I went to some clothing stores, tried on a few clothes and bought the ones I like.
Just like the other day, I saw another pet store. I was so tempted to go in but I knew that I could never have a pet since my mom is allergic to fur. Even though I live by myself, I couldn’t risk letting my mom go to my house when there are fur everywhere on the air. So, instead I could look at those adorable creatures and be content with it.
Huh, Jinki never replied back to my text, I wonder what is he’s doing right now. He can’t be that busy, can he? When I stopped in front of another clothing store, I thought I saw someone I know. But I only got a glimpse so instead of worrying about it I shrugged it off and kept wandering around. After an hour walking, my legs felt tired even though it was only a little past 2 in the afternoon.
Looking for a bench to sit, then I noticed someone. The very same person who I thought I saw back at the clothing store was actually in the mall with someone else. Instead of sitting down, I went closer to them and then I saw that Jonghyun was with Key. My mind told me that it was nothing and that they were just hanging out, but the way they touch each other and the way Jonghyun looked at Key tells me that something else is going on. I’ve known before that the two of them are pretty close with each other, that even though Jonghyun is straight and that Key was gay, they liked flirting with each other in a friendly way.
But the sight in front of me was different from friendly. They were holding hands, their fingers intertwined with each other, and Jonghyun was giving him loving looks that I only saw whenever he looks at me. Jonghyun’s eyes met mine and he stopped walking, making Key stop walking as well. I walked closer to them and when we finally came face to face, I saw Key’s eyes widen.
“Gwiboon-ah, what are you doing here?” Jonghyun asked me casually, not even bothering to let go of Key’s hand even though he saw me look at it. Key was fidgeting beside him and I knew he was uncomfortable because the atmosphere suddenly became tense between the three of us.
“I was just shopping as usual,” I replied smiling. Jonghyun smiled, too, although his smile looked happier than mine. “What about you? What are you and Kibum doing here?”
“Oh, us? We are on a date. See?” Jonghyun lifted up their entwined hands for me to see. Date?
“Jonghyun-ah, what are you talking about? How can you go on a date with Key when I’m still your girlfriend?” I asked in disbelief. I know very well that my relationship with Jonghyun isn’t working out anymore as it had been before but for him to be a different relationship when we haven’t officially broken up yet is unbelievable for me.
“Girlfriend? I thought we were over when you started seeing Onew hyung?” he smirked. “What? Did you really expect me to ignore the fact that you’re cheating on me with my best friend, huh, Gwiboon? I’m not that smart, yes I admit, but I’m not that stupid either as to not see what’s going on between the two of you behind my back,” he spat.
“Jjong, people are watching keep it down,” I heard Key whisper to him. He looked uncomfortable with the situation the three of us are in right now, he kept looking around when he meet other people’s gazes he would lower his eyes down and look at the ground. Even when I’m right in front of them, Jonghyun still didn’t let go of his hand.
“How long has this been going on?” I asked. I know I already admitted to Onew oppa that I like him more than as a friend, but seeing Jonghyun with someone still brings pain to my heart. I loved him and I still do, although not the same as I did before but there still some of it left lingering in my heart. I thought that I was weak, but noticing that there weren’t any tears collecting on my eyes, I could probably keep up a front strong enough for me not to cry in public. I heard someone calling me from far away, but I can’t distinguish who it was and instead focused myself on what Jonghyun was saying. “A couple of weeks, I guess; how long have you been cheating on my back?”
“Why do you keep saying that I cheated on you when I didn’t?” someone called me again, but I can’t focus on it.
“Oh, stop with the bull Gwiboon. It’s crystal clear that you have fallen for Onew hyung long ago. Do you know why I haven’t broken up with you when that though came to me? Because I was hoping that it wasn’t true and that I was just imagining things to myself but the moment that I felt that everything is just not working out between, I let myself move on. Do not tell me that you weren’t cheating on me when you clearly were, even if it’s just unconsciously. Let’s go, Key. This isn’t conversation going anywhere important.” He held Key’s hand tightly and walked away from me.
"Gwiboon-ah..." a voice called. Someone touch my forearm and when I turned I saw Onew oppa, breathing heavily as if he had ran a marathon with small beefs of sweat just above his brows. "Oppa... You knew about them, don't you?" I asked and he nodded an apologetic and gloomy expression on his face. "I just found put last night. Look, Gwiboon... I'm really sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I'll... I'll talk to them and settle it."
"What do you mean 'settle it'? Oppa, I'm fine with them going out. Sure it hurts a little bit but I'm perfectly fine. And why are you sorry? It’s not like it was your fault. Come on, I want to eat some ice cream." I linked my arm with his but he was still reluctant so I kissed him on the cheek and that seemed to make him feel better.
Instead of walking, he just hugged me tightly, my face burying on his neck enabling me to smell his musky scent of mixed perfume and sweat. He kissed the top of my head before letting go and we made our way to the ice cream parlour. As a guy, he took some of the shopping bags from one of my hands and since one of my hands is free, he took a hold of it and we walked hand in hand.
The thought of Jonghyun and Key was long forgotten, and right now all I can think about is me and Onew oppa. Sure this will make a strain on our friendship, but, what can I do? I'm just a person who fell in love, and from the looks of it, that's also what happened to Key, Jonghyun, and Onew oppa. We're all just people in love, we're not perfect and we can't control how we feel. It might take us a while to accept everything, but I hope in the end, we could all still be friends and hang out like we used to.
KEY
Even without me asking, I can tell that Jonghyun was very mad because of our encounter with Gwiboon by how tight his grip on my hand is and to be honest it hurts really badly. When we were finally outside the mall, I decided to do something that could help Jonghyun ease his anger. “Jjong… Hey, Jjong.” I kept calling him but he was only looking straight ahead of us towards the parking lot. Even with me nudging him, I can’t seem to get his attention but the time we were steps away from his car I yelled at him.
“Kim ing Jonghyun, listen to me!” and he finally looked at me.
“What?” he answered an emotionless tone.
“Can you please let go of my hand before it completely turns purple from the lack of blood?” he looked at down at our hand before letting go and muttered a “Sorry.” When my hand was free from his grip, it actually hurts more now that the blood is flowing through it. I cradled it against my chest and watched for Jonghyun’s expression. He doesn’t seem that mad, in fact, his face barely shows any expression. I waited for a few minutes, waiting till his breathing was back to normal.
“Are you okay?” I asked in small voice. Knowing Jonghyun for such a long time, I’ve learned never to talk to him whenever he’s in a really bad mood because he tends to blow up to anyone who decided to bother him. I was preparing myself for him to shout at me but I was rather left speechless when he hugged me, both of my hands trapped between our bodies.
“I’m sorry, Key… I shouldn’t have brought you here in the first place… if only I knew that she was going to be here we could have gone somewhere else other than here… I’m really, really sorry…” why does he keep apologizing to me when it clearly wasn’t his fault that we saw Gwiboon at the mall? Come to think of it, it was actually my fault because I was the one who suggested going here.
I pulled him from me and looked at him straight in the eyes and said, “Jjong, you’re an idiot, you know that? It wasn’t your fault okay? So stop blaming yourself because I’m fine. In fact, I’m better than fine and the one who isn’t is you. I know we’re only pretending but come on, I’m your friend and I completely understand how much it hurts to see the person who’s been hurting you because that’s what I’ve been suffering from for the past few years of my life. It hurts too much right now, I know, but when time passes it will go away – not completely but it will be better. Do you understand me?”
He nodded a small smile on his face and he hugged me again. This time it was better because I know that he knew that he isn’t alone, that there is someone who’s willing to help him get over the pain that he’s going through. We were still hugging when he suddenly said, “You know, out of our group, people always say that me and Minho are the manliest because of our appearance… but do you know what I think?” he asked and I shook my head, “I think you’re the bravest out of our group.”
He broke the hug and looked at me as he continued, “Because manage to endure all these all by yourself. No one knows about it for a while yet you still manage to smile in front of us, you manage to laugh and act so normal when deep down you’re actually hurting. Every day for years, you live your life bearing that pain because of Onew hyung and to make it even worse, you live with him and you keep seeing him every day without him knowing what you really feel towards him.” without me knowing, my tears were already running down my face when he lifted up his hand and his thumb caressed my cheekbone, drying the tears away.
“Look at what you did… my make-up’s getting ruined because of you!” I accused and he just laughed, pulling out a handkerchief from his pocket and handing it out to me. It probably took me a while until my tears stopped from what he said and to finally get rid of the smeared make-up on my face because of the eye liner I was wearing. By the time I finished, his handkerchief was stained and I looked at him sheepishly. “I’ll buy you a new one?” and Jjong just ruffled my hair. After that I knew he was feeling okay.
We both got inside his car and headed home, joking around, singing along with whatever music comes on the radio, and just goofing around. Jonghyun was smiling brightly, but without him looking at me, I can tell that there is sadness hidden behind his eyes. He was just like me, pretending to be fine when he’s clearly not.
It might probably take us some time to heal from this pain inside our hearts, for us to bear it until we can no longer feel its presence within our being. It might fade, it might not, but as long as we remember that there are other people out there who are feeling much worse, I think we can consider ourselves lucky enough. Right now, the pain in Jonghyun’s heart is probably too much for him since it was just getting started. The pain may increase its intensity as time goes but after experiencing it myself first hand, I will help get through it. I may be just a friend, but I’m not going to let him suffer the way I did.
A/N:
ohmigoodness...
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not much of an excitement right??
oh well, i'll try to do a much better update next time so wait for it guys!!
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until next time!!
- immaLocket029
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