Chapter 20
Complicated Love*i'll proof read this later... :))*
Gwiboon didn't have to look up to see who came inside the kitchen and stood next her. She's heard everything outside when Jonghyun was trying to switch places so he could be with Key, annoyance and disbelief surging through as she wash the lettuce and perilla leaves as gentle she could. From the corners of her she saw how Jonghyun wore the plastic gloves nearby and took the lettuce leaves from her, lightly shoving her away. Dumbfounded, Gwiboon moved away and leaned against the table as she watched, her perfectly trimmed brow arching.
"Why can't the two of them do something together while Key and I do the other? Are we not allowed to change places?" she said, repeating Jonghyun's tantrum word by word that she heard just moments ago. "Gosh, that hurts, Jong. Avoiding me as though I'm some kind of plague? That really hurts. Back then you used to beg to Key to switch places with you so the two of us can be together and do the same thing. But now? You're begging to switch places so you can get away from me. We were so sweet together, what happened?"
"Shut the hell up, Gwiboon," he said through clenched teeth. "I'm not in the mood to talk to you so just shut up."
But Gwiboon ignored him and went on. "I wonder what they're doing right now," she said nonchalantly. She taking off the plastic gloves she was wearing and leaned against the counter, inspecting her manicured nails. "I mean, this is the first time they're together after they 'broke up' because Key chose you instead. Oh gosh, I'm dying of curiosity right now. But you know what, I was surprised that you two made it here. Just what kind of lie did you tell Key exactly so you can bring him here? From what I remember, you were so insistent on not letting Key come here..." Her words were then cut off when a loud bang reached her ears, startling her and caused her to look up.
Jonghyun was glaring at her, his hands gripping the edge of the counter his knuckles turning white. He straightened himself up and walked towards her, closing the distance between them and placed his hands on either side trapping her. "Tell me, Gwiboon. Do you really want to see me lose it? Because each word that comes out of your mouth I can feel the timer inside me running out and I'm about to explode any time soon. You know very well that I've never hit you or any girl before but I'm telling you - I am this close to making an exception if you keep taunting me."
"You can't hurt me, Jjong," Gwiboon said calmly, ignoring the dangerous glare on the boy's eyes in front of her. "I know you feel like screaming at me, that you want to hit me or anything you can reach as hard as you can, and that you're about to lose your mind because of the things I say to you, but I know that deep down you will never be able to do that because you're not that kind of person. Maybe a little crazy and possessive but you're not capable of hurting anyone because you're not a violent person. You were like this even before our relationship ended but not once did you hurt me physically or in any way at all for that matter. You get upset like crazy sometimes that you even ended up punching the wall because you couldn't get yourself to actually hit me. Just like right now. I know you still wouldn't be able to do it. Come on, Jjong. You and I are far from being friends after we broke up, that things between us are much more complicated than the others thought. But I'm not going to lie, I do want to fix us. Maybe not as lovers but just as friends. Just like how we used to be years ago."
She saw how the hostile look in his eyes disappear slowly, his rigid body relaxing. It was the first time in a long time that the two of them were in such close proximity and even though the relationship between them is still far from being fixed, Gwiboon couldn't deny the fact that she miss those times she and Jonghyun were still together. "That's never going to happen, Gwiboon. What you want is just like wishing for a damn miracle to happen."
Jonghyun took off the plastic gloves he was wearing and left the kitchen without another glance, leaving Gwiboon all by herself. She turned away from the kitchen entrance and tilted her head, hoping that the tears prickling the back of her eyes won't fall. She breathed deeply a couple of times before finishing what Jonghyun left behind.
"No wonder it's taking so long." Gwiboon looked behind her and found Onew leaning against the door frame of the kitchen entrance, his feigned irritation immediately turning to a smile after her shocked expression. He made his way beside her helped placed the vegetables onto the plate between them. "Where's Jonghyun? Wasn't he supposed to help you out with these?"
Gwiboon cleared before replying. "He did. He washed the vegetables but it was so awkward that I just made him leave. I mean, we made up but still. Besides, there's not that much to do anyway. I just need to wash these, cut them, and give them to you and Key." She began placing handfuls of kimchi she already cut onto the plate in front of Onew.
"Why can't the two of them do something together while Key and I do the other? Are we not allowed to change places?" she said, repeating Jonghyun's tantrum word by word that she heard just moments ago. "Gosh, that hurts, Jong. Avoiding me as though I'm some kind of plague? That really hurts. Back then you used to beg to Key to switch places with you so the two of us can be together and do the same thing. But now? You're begging to switch places so you can get away from me. We were so sweet together, what happened?"
"Shut the hell up, Gwiboon," he said through clenched teeth. "I'm not in the mood to talk to you so just shut up."
But Gwiboon ignored him and went on. "I wonder what they're doing right now," she said nonchalantly. She taking off the plastic gloves she was wearing and leaned against the counter, inspecting her manicured nails. "I mean, this is the first time they're together after they 'broke up' because Key chose you instead. Oh gosh, I'm dying of curiosity right now. But you know what, I was surprised that you two made it here. Just what kind of lie did you tell Key exactly so you can bring him here? From what I remember, you were so insistent on not letting Key come here..." Her words were then cut off when a loud bang reached her ears, startling her and caused her to look up.
Jonghyun was glaring at her, his hands gripping the edge of the counter his knuckles turning white. He straightened himself up and walked towards her, closing the distance between them and placed his hands on either side trapping her. "Tell me, Gwiboon. Do you really want to see me lose it? Because each word that comes out of your mouth I can feel the timer inside me running out and I'm about to explode any time soon. You know very well that I've never hit you or any girl before but I'm telling you - I am this close to making an exception if you keep taunting me."
"You can't hurt me, Jjong," Gwiboon said calmly, ignoring the dangerous glare on the boy's eyes in front of her. "I know you feel like screaming at me, that you want to hit me or anything you can reach as hard as you can, and that you're about to lose your mind because of the things I say to you, but I know that deep down you will never be able to do that because you're not that kind of person. Maybe a little crazy and possessive but you're not capable of hurting anyone because you're not a violent person. You were like this even before our relationship ended but not once did you hurt me physically or in any way at all for that matter. You get upset like crazy sometimes that you even ended up punching the wall because you couldn't get yourself to actually hit me. Just like right now. I know you still wouldn't be able to do it. Come on, Jjong. You and I are far from being friends after we broke up, that things between us are much more complicated than the others thought. But I'm not going to lie, I do want to fix us. Maybe not as lovers but just as friends. Just like how we used to be years ago."
She saw how the hostile look in his eyes disappear slowly, his rigid body relaxing. It was the first time in a long time that the two of them were in such close proximity and even though the relationship between them is still far from being fixed, Gwiboon couldn't deny the fact that she miss those times she and Jonghyun were still together. "That's never going to happen, Gwiboon. What you want is just like wishing for a damn miracle to happen."
Jonghyun took off the plastic gloves he was wearing and left the kitchen without another glance, leaving Gwiboon all by herself. She turned away from the kitchen entrance and tilted her head, hoping that the tears prickling the back of her eyes won't fall. She breathed deeply a couple of times before finishing what Jonghyun left behind.
"No wonder it's taking so long." Gwiboon looked behind her and found Onew leaning against the door frame of the kitchen entrance, his feigned irritation immediately turning to a smile after her shocked expression. He made his way beside her helped placed the vegetables onto the plate between them. "Where's Jonghyun? Wasn't he supposed to help you out with these?"
Gwiboon cleared before replying. "He did. He washed the vegetables but it was so awkward that I just made him leave. I mean, we made up but still. Besides, there's not that much to do anyway. I just need to wash these, cut them, and give them to you and Key." She began placing handfuls of kimchi she already cut onto the plate in front of Onew.
He nodded in understanding. "Oh, okay. I thought he bailed on you or something."
The two of them stood side by side in silence with him waiting for her to finish up. He picked up a piece of kimchi from the plate in front of them and popped it into his mouth, snickering when Gwiboon swatted his hands off playfully. She washed her hands once everything was done and leaned against the sink, looking up at Onew mischievously. Their gazes met and he ignored it, knowing already what the younger was going to ask. He took the plates with him and made his way back to where Key was waiting for him.
"Hey, aren't you going to tell me anything?" she asked, pulling him back slightly.
The two of them stood side by side in silence with him waiting for her to finish up. He picked up a piece of kimchi from the plate in front of them and popped it into his mouth, snickering when Gwiboon swatted his hands off playfully. She washed her hands once everything was done and leaned against the sink, looking up at Onew mischievously. Their gazes met and he ignored it, knowing already what the younger was going to ask. He took the plates with him and made his way back to where Key was waiting for him.
"Hey, aren't you going to tell me anything?" she asked, pulling him back slightly.
"Tell you what?" Onew asked back, pretending not to know what it was that Gwiboon wanted from him.
"You and Key?" she answered as though it was common knowledge.
Onew sighed. "There's nothing to tell, Gwiboonie," he said.
"Something?" He shook his head. "Anything?" Again, he shook his head. "None at all?" Onew nodded. "Okay, that is just impossible. There's got to be something I mean, it's the first time you two are alone and are spending some time together. There should be at least some kind of awkwardness between the two of you. Or excitement maybe, or that feeling you get after seeing someone you miss so much. Something."
"If there's something I'll tell you but right now I have to go back out there because we've been waiting for these and Taemin and Minho have been begging for food. Besides I'm pretty sure Jonghyun will kill me if he finds out I left Kibum out there freezing all by himself so..." He shrugged his shoulders and left, leaving Gwiboon pouting.
Onew sighed. "There's nothing to tell, Gwiboonie," he said.
"Something?" He shook his head. "Anything?" Again, he shook his head. "None at all?" Onew nodded. "Okay, that is just impossible. There's got to be something I mean, it's the first time you two are alone and are spending some time together. There should be at least some kind of awkwardness between the two of you. Or excitement maybe, or that feeling you get after seeing someone you miss so much. Something."
"If there's something I'll tell you but right now I have to go back out there because we've been waiting for these and Taemin and Minho have been begging for food. Besides I'm pretty sure Jonghyun will kill me if he finds out I left Kibum out there freezing all by himself so..." He shrugged his shoulders and left, leaving Gwiboon pouting.
ONEW
"How's it going?"
Key looked up and laughed. "Fine," he said, taking the kimchi from me and immediately placed them on top of the grill. "Taemin was here begging for food earlier so I fed him a little of the meat."
"That rascal. You should've ignored him a little bit longer. They're not the only ones starving."
The two of us kept going back and forth from cooking to warming ourselves from the fire I made back to the grill, taking bits of what we were cooking and shifting our feet from one foot to another due to the cold. I honestly thought that being together after a while - and even more after what happened between us - that things between us would be very awkward. Sure we've only made small talks today and even until now but it was better than I expected. He smiles at me just like before and holds eye contact with me, making it seem as though nothing ever happened. We were able to make a conversation like how we used to, reminiscing a little bit that would end up with us either laughing or in silence.
"I think these are done," he muttered, lifting up the chicken wire above the foil-wrapped sweet potatoes that took longer to cook than we originally thought because of the cold weather and occasional gusts of frigid wind. "Hyung, what do you think?" He looked up at me holding out the sweet potatoes with a tong. I would be lying if I say I didn't felt a thing whenever he looked at me, or whenever our hands would accidentally touch despite both of us wearing gloves, or him just calling me. "Onew hyung?"
"Uh, y-yeah," I stammered stupidly and I silently wished he wouldn't think anything of it. "I think you can take them out now. These are almost done, too. Just a few more minutes and we can go in."
It didn't take long before the two of us were hurrying to get inside that we even forgot to take our shoes off, setting down the plates we were carrying onto the table and almost spilling everything we just cooked despite the freezing temperature outside. Taemin and Minho sat down as soon as the plates were down, both of them taking a piece of whatever they can reach.
"Hey, not so fast," Key said. "Jonghyun's not here yet."
"Jonghyun hyung!" Taemin yelled at the top of his lungs, causing the rest of us to cringe. "Hurry up and get down here! We're hungry!"
~
The whole house was filled with laughter, endless teasing, and even bickering and it was pretty obvious that we're all having a good time after being apart for so long. Throughout the entire dinner, we're all talking in loud voices that it was actually quite fortunate that the nearby houses are few blocks away otherwise they would have to put up with the loud noise we're making - at least one banging through the front doors telling us to be quiet. When dinner ended, it was pretty obvious that everyone was satisfied and are really ready for bed, the yawning and stretching left and right.
"Since Key and I cooked and Gwiboonnie and Jonghyun took care of the vegetables, I think it's only right that the two of you do the dishes," I told Taemin and Minho.
I finished the rest of my water and found Taemin leering at me, his brows knit and lips pursed while Minho only sighed in defeat, eating the rest of kimchi.
"What? Only the two of you haven't done anything tonight."
"But I want to go to sleep now," Taemin whined as he flailed his arms around and bounced on his seat. "Can someone else do it?"
I shook my head at him. He turned to look at Key and Gwiboon who were already up from their seats, asking for help by pouting his lips and making his eyes look pitiful. Kibum came up to him patted his hair before turning around and took Jonghyun's hand as they both left. Gwiboon, on the other hand, back hugged him.
"There's not that much," she said, pointing the table where bowls, plates and utensils scattered as though the people who used them were ignoramuses who's never seen them before. "Besides, Onew oppa's right. You and Minho actually didn't do anything for tonight dinner except beg for food and watch and nag so..."
"Oh, for heaven's sake, noona." Taemin groaned. He broke out from her hug as he stood up and began to clean to the table. "You're lucky you're a girl otherwise I would've hit you already."
"Why do guys keep wanting to hit me?" Gwiboon asked no one in particular and for a second I was confused.
She walked up to me and dragged me out with her until we're inside the confines of the room she's using all to herself. She made sit on the bed as she plopped down on her stomach beside me. "Okay, now talk."
"What?" I asked, pretending not to know what she wanted me to say.
"Oh, come on. You know what, just tell me anything. Do you have any idea what my curiosity has been doing to me? It's killing me. Now spill it."
"There's really no stopping you is there?" Gwiboon only smiled at me sweetly, even fluttering her lashes. "Fine." She sat up and moved closer and I told her everything she wanted to know even though there really isn't much to tell. She would ask questions and each answer I gave her, she would either squeal in delight or groan in annoyance.
"You are so lame," she complained as she hit me on the arm. "You should've at least told him what you really thought before you two went back in. You had like a two-hour moment outside in the cold and you didn't even say anything that would probably bring him back to you?"
I lied down and sighed. "You know why I didn't tell him anything, Gwiboon. He's... He's with Jonghyun now. And even if I do say something - even if I did tell him what I really wanted to say - I don't think that'll change his mind. And besides, you know what happened when I acted out and it ended badly between us. I'd consider today a miracle..."
"There you go again!" She exclaimed and playfully jabbed me on the stomach. "Will please stop saying that? Are you really going to give Key up just like that?"
"Boon, the whole time Key and I were together it was something I'd rather have than completely ruin everything between us. If it means just us being friends then I'm okay with it. We were able to talk and laugh and joke and if I bring up about that brief 'relationship' we had before he chose to be with Jonghyun then I'm just going to it up with him and I'll never be able undo that. Having him as a friend would be a whole lot better than us being strangers, than us avoiding each other and never speaking again."
It was her turn to sigh. There was that conflicted look on her face that made me sit up and look at her closely. "What?" I asked. She briefly glanced at me sideways before standing up and busied herself with her luggage instead of answering me, taking a seat on the floor and began rummaging through her clothes. "Gwiboon, what is it? Is there something you're not telling me because if there is you better tell me now."
She remained silent although she stopped what she was doing and I could tell that she was choosing her words. Moments later she finally spoke. "Remember when I told you I met up with Jonghyun a few days ago?" I nodded. "And remember when Key was proudly saying that everything's fixed? The reason why they showed up today?" Again, I nodded. "Well, the thing is... Nothing's fixed. Jonghyun and I... We never agreed on anything that day he and I met up. We just argued about what is the right thing to do and blamed each other. He has his own version and I have mine, which is, you and Key belong to each other and that he should just let Key go so he can be with you..."
"What?" I saw her stiffened at the tone of my voice. "Why would you do that?"
"Because it's true!" she exclaimed. "You two are supposed to be together not him and Jonghyun. Key was in love with you first before he developed feelings for Jonghyun, which to be honest, I think is big fat lie that he's only using to hypnotize himself with so he'll get over you."
I can only stare at her, speechless. "You could've told me about that part sooner, Gwiboon." I thought of how Key mentioned to me earlier that Jonghyun took the initiative to make amends with Gwiboon regarding what happened, that he has finally forgiven her and decided to think nothing of it anymore and move on since he's with Key now. He sounded so proud and happy about it and finding out that it was all a lie... I don't even know what to feel about it. "What exactly did you and Jonghyun talked about that day, Gwiboon? I gave you what you want now you give me what I want and it better be the whole damn thing."
~
I watched as the puff of smoke disappear into the cold air, taking a deep breath and exhaled another. I thought back to what Gwiboon told me and to be honest, it was the first she's told me about what really happened between him and Jonghyun, before she and I dated. It was the first time she really opened up about their relationship, the hardships Jonghyun brought her that eventually caused to her to drift away from him and I had no idea that it's what happened between them. I've always thought that Jonghyun was caring and gentle and loving towards Gwiboon because those years that they were together that's what I saw and envied. Hearing from her that he was in fact a possessive and manipulative lunatic I immediately thought if he's also acting the same towards Key - if he's having hard time having to deal with Jonghyun's bull.
And when Gwiboon told me that they've fought many times because of Jonghyun's jealousy towards me, how Key had to assure him every single time that there's nothing going on between us any more, it only proved that Key did had a hard time.
"Can't sleep?" I looked behind and saw Key standing just behind glass doors, a large quilt wrapped around him and a mug in his hands. He opened the door wider, got out and stood next to me, close enough that whenever the wind blows the quilt would brush against me.
"Yeah," I told him, flicking the cigarette between my fingers hoping he won't notice it. "I'm guessing you, too?"
He nodded. "I am sleepy, it's just that my head won't shut up so I thought I'll just go get something warm to drink. What are you doing out here though? It's freezing." He breathed out to prove himself and a huge puff of fog appeared, the corners of my mouth curving into smile. Usually, people would do it by saying 'Haa'. But when he does it its as though he's blowing out candles, making him look like a little kid.
"It's alright, I'm wearing a jacket anyway."
He pursed his lips and I immediately thought of what I should say to as to not let awkwardness settle between us. "Today was fun," I said out of the blue. Not awkward, huh? Yeah, right.
"Definitely. Today was so amazing I actually can't wait for tomorrow." The smile on his face was genuine, that same smile I used to see a lot back then. It's like he's reminiscing about the past, about how we all used to just play around and not care about everything else. "I just miss everyone, you know? Gwiboonnie, especially, so of course being you guys after quite a long time was amazing. The most fun I'd had in days actually, but you can't tell Jonghyun about that."
A short laugh escaped my lips after hearing what he just said. "I doubt he'll believe me if I tell him. Hell, he probably won't even listen to me and just walk away before I could even say a word." Another laugh left me and when he didn't say anything back, the awkwardness I was hoping not to appear appeared. I cleared my throat and remembered I still have a lit cigarette between my fingers. With him beside me I really couldn't continue smoking that I decided to just let it fall onto the sand below us. I tried to focus on the sound of the ocean waves nearby and think about something else,
"Have you talked to Jonghyun today?" he asked softly, briefly glancing at me sideways. "I didn't see you two making any interactions at all so I was wondering if you two talked..."
"We didn't." It was my turn to look away when he faced me. "We didn't talk at all, we didn't make any eye contact, or even stand at an arm's length from each other. But I don't mind it at all, really. We know what happened. He's not ready to reconcile with me and I'm fine with that..."
"I'll talk to him. If he's managed to make up with Gwiboon I'm pretty sure he can, too, with you." There was a hopeful tone in his voice that made me look at him and as our eyes met, I don't even know what to say to him anymore. "It's going to be hard, I know, but I want to try. Jonghyun promised me he'll do everything that will make me happy and what I want is for everything to be back to normal, which means you two talking again - best friends, or at least, friends again - and all of us hanging out the way we used to."
"Kibum..."
"I can persuade him, hyung. He'll listen to me..."
"Key, you're just going to have to accept that the possibility of Jonghyun and I ever becoming friends isn't that high. I'm fine with the way things are right now. You and I are talking - which I am very relieved and thankful for after what happened the last time we were together. Gwiboon and I have decided to stay just as friends after we broke up and I'm pretty much satisfied with whatever's happening right now. This is reality, Key. We're just going to have to accept it because that's all we can do." I knew that my words hurt him, the sadness clearly shown in his eyes as they continued to look at me. But what can I do if that's the truth? Jonghyun doesn't have to tell me anything for me to know that he doesn't want to be friends again with they way he would avoid me at all cost and the fact that he tried to switch places earlier just so Key and I won't be together. "Look, I'm sorry. It sounds harsh, yes, but it's..."
"Reality, I get it. But I just can't stop wishing that it would happen someday - hopefully soon. It just doesn't feel right when I think about how wasteful it would be if your friendship of almost years would crumble just like that." He fell silent and turned away from me. I couldn't see his eyes and there was that surge to make him face me again so I could see what he was really feeling. All of a sudden he asked me, "Since when did you start smoking again?"
I thought he wouldn't notice especially when I've already thrown it away. "Not too long ago," I told him and he glared at me. "Besides, it wasn't as bad as before. This is still the first pack I bought and I've only used a few." I tried to make myself sound proud and convincing that I'm not even close to being the almost chain smoker that I was a few years ago, watching the expression on his face turn from upset to disappoinment. "How'd you find out anyway? I already threw it away like a few a minutes ago..."
"I can still smell it," he cut me off and looked down on the mug he was holding, tapping his fingers around it. "You promised me you'd stop for good, that you won't do it again. You promised me that."
"I know what I promised, Key. You made me quit because you were worried about me, that I might get sick and regret it in the end. You're always thinking about everyone else before yourself and right now, I think I should apologize for what I did and how I acted when you came back to the apartment. I was an when you were just being that caring friend you've always been so... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been like that."
Remembering that suddenly made me feel guilty that I ended up taking a step back and sit on one of the patio chairs. The silence between us was neither awkward nor comfortable and I thought of whether or not I should break it by leaving him. Though deep down I want to stay here and be with him even if he's the one who leaves first.
"I should be apologizing to you, too," he murmured and I looked up at him. "None of this would've happened if I hadn't fallen in love with you - or even with Jonghyun, actually. It's because of it that I ended up hurting both of you. I made decisions without really thinking what you two would feel and only thought about myself, of who I'll be happy with and to be honest, I do hate myself because of that because just like what you said I always think about others so much that when I realized I have to take care of myself I became greedy. I went back and forth between the two of you and it was wrong. I wanted both of you at the same time and a sane would never do that."
Even when I'm sitting behind him and I can only see his profile. The sadness in his eyes turned to something different as he let out his inner thoughts, thoughts that he must have been pushing deeper into the back of his mind. Just staring at him made me feel numb and there's that small part of me that wanted to pull him into an embrace, to take advantage of the situation and hope that it was all just a dream I will eventually wake up from.
"When I got home that night I actually thought of forgetting about you altogether. You know, cutting you off completely from my life - no contacts, ignore you and avoiding any thoughts about you as though you never existed in the first place. I even told Jonghyun about it because I thought it was for the best. It didn't last long though because when I saw you this morning and when we were cooking earlier, I realized that if I did that, things would be way too different. You've created a huge impact in my life that just the thought of erasing you felt so wrong. All those memories that came rushing back to me like a tidal wave, they made me realize that I couldn't do it. " He turned to look at me and I had to refrain myself from doing what I wanted, holding onto the armrest as tight as I could. "I could never do that to you, hyung."
Why does it sound so unfair all of a sudden?
"I still don't get how you're able to say those things when we both that the one in your is Jonghyun and not me. I mean, I get it. You've already moved on and the one you love is him. But the way you just said it now - maybe it's just me - it's like you still want me to be with you, that right now, I'm still somewhere between that lover you want to hide and the friend you want to keep by your side."
He set down his mug on the glass table beside me and crouched down in front of me, taking hold both of my hands in his. "I became greedy remember? But yes, you are between that because there's still that part of me who haven't moved on yet - the who one couldn't handle the thought of forgetting about you."
I can only stare at him in disbelief. Is he serious right now?
"But I can tolerate that part of me, hyung. It doesn't affect me anymore like it used to because just like you said the one in my heart is Jonghyun. Despite that, I still want you as a friend. I still want us to be how we were back then. I'm not going to force you and Jonghyun to make up but at the very least the two of us can still be best friends. That is, if you're okay with that..."
After what he just said, how am I supposed to tell him that I'm okay with it? He basically just admitted that he still has feelings for me even if it's merely half of what he used to feel towards me and almost nothing compared to what he feels towards Jonghyun. He still wants me to be part of his life and that's what I wanted as we'll even if I'm not the one he chose to be with.
Then I realized that I am just as greedy as he is.
We're still not able to let go of each other. We'd rather have each other around as a friend despite the lingering feelings we still have for one another. We'll take anything we can as long as we get to keep the other by our side because we're just that selfish. But then again, maybe I'm only giving what he's saying to me a different meaning. Maybe I'm the only one who can't let go of him. He wanted to be friends with me and I, on the other hand, only think about how the two of us are going to be together again. Maybe I'm only the selfish one.
"Of course."
His eyes lit up and the next second his arms were around me enveloping in a tight hug. Hesitantly, I returned the hug back and placed my hands around his waist. The scent of fig and citrus filled me that I couldn't help but lean in and bury myself in the crook of his neck, taking in his scent as much as I can because I know that when the morning comes it'll be gone.
When I went down the kitchen the next morning to get some coffee Gwiboon and Key were already done cooking breakfast, the two of them cleaning up the kitchen counter. Both of them looked up and smiled at me and automatically I smiled back.
"Good morning," both of them greeted at the same time.
"You two are up early." I leaned against the counter and watched them discuss whether to bring out the orange juice or make green juice instead. "Especially you, Kibum-ah. We went in pretty late last night, what time did you wake up?"
He looked at me and smiled. "I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. And then when I woke up, I guess I'm just that excited for today I didn't even thought about sleeping in. Besides, it's a good thing I woke up early otherwise Gwiboonnie would be here all by herself."
I glanced towards Gwiboon's direction and I caught her trying to hide herself from smiling. When she looked up at me I already knew she would be pestering me with questions as to what happened last night between Key and I once she's cornered me. "Why are you even up already anyway?" I asked her, cringing when the juicer whirred as she forced the apple, kale, spinach and grapes all together. "It's not even your turn to cook breakfast. I thought it's Taemin's turn?"
"Yeah, well, he's still sleeping. He kind of begged me last night to take his shift today since he did the dishes." She gave me that warning look as if telling me not push it any further, pouring the disgusting concoction into a small glass and scrunching her face when she took a sip.
During breakfast everything felt way better than it did last night. Key sat beside me with Jonghyun next to him and I had to ignore the death glare he would give me everytime Key talks to me or lean against me when he laughs. I had to keep myself from laughing the whole time because of what Gwiboon told me last night. Jonghyun really has become a lying jealous, paranoid prick. I already promised Key that he and I will remain just as friends but knowing the things Jonghyun had been keeping from him, how in the world am I supposed to keep my mouth when I know that once he find out, it'll only hurt him?
A/N:
hey guys so sorry for the long wait...
had a major writer's block not just with this but with my other fics as well... >_<
and there's also the fact that we just moved to a new apartment and I had no internet access except for my phone's data...
i hope you all liked this chap and yes there's hope for onkey but there's a few more chapters before that...
i'm supposed to include a jongkey (or taekey or minkey) oneshot (yes, its ) but writer's block intervened so it's still in my drafts... I even have an OT5 pending... but i guess they're just going to have to wait...
anywho... anyone here a college/university student?? i'll be a freshman this coming september (i'm a business major) and i was wondering if you guys can give me some advice.. :)) i'm a bit scared tbh..
one last thing, any song rec?? kpop or non-kpop it doesn't really matter... i need new songs to add to my phone because honestly speaking most of the songs in my phone are shinee sooo.... yeah...
until next time!! love you guys!! *throws hearts everywhere* <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
-immaLocket029
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