Chapter 21
Complicated LoveA/N:
hello!!
okay so im two days late and my gift is still not finished.. so i thought "you know what ill just post this and post the gift later" i made you guys wait long enough i need to post the new chap..
so here it is... please don't kill me...
When Taemin finished eating, he noticed that everyone else was already done and were looking at him, with Gwiboon and Key smiling at him sweetly. "What?" he asked in confusion.
"Gwiboonnie and I cooked this morning when it was supposed to be your turn," Key said and Gwiboon nodded in agreement, both of them standing up from their seats with Onew and Jonghyun following them. "So, you have to do the dishes."
Gwiboon and Onew left without a word while Minho went behind Taemin and gave him a kiss on the cheek, fleeing from the room before he could even say anything. He tried to get away from doing the chore by pouting and grumping but Key laughed it off instead. Eventually, he stood up with a huff and began cleaning the table, bringing the bowls and utensils to the sink and the glasses and pots. When everything was out of the table he wore the plastic gloves hanging by the sink. "Wait, can I at least have someone to help me out?"
Key looked at Jonghyun who was waiting for him by the entrance, his brows raised at the sudden question. "Okay, well, there's just me and Jonghyun left so..."
Without hesitation, Taemin glanced at the oldest and grinned at him. "Jonghyun hyung," he said, causing Key to laugh and pat Jonghyun on the arm before the leaving. Taemin saw the frustrated look on the elder’s face as he trudged towards the sink and stopped beside him. "Come on, hyung, stop sulking."
"You know just because there's only me and Key in the room doesn't mean you have to choose between us. You could've asked Minho instead to help you, he's your boyfriend." He began putting away the scraps into the trash bin and dropped the plates into sink filled with soapy water, forcing himself not to listen to the laughter coming from the living room.
Taemin remained silent for a while as he concentrated on doing his chore, sorting his thoughts and the questions he's been wanting to ask the older, the reason why he chose him. "I was going to call Minho to help out but I realized we haven't really talked properly. To be honest, I kind of noticed something. I mean, I know what happened, sort of, between you and Onew hyung and Gwiboon noona. I get that you're avoiding them, especially Onew hyung and as far as I know you're okay with noona now, just that there's still some awkwardness left... But somehow I feel like there's more, like there's something else that happened."
"There's nothing else that happened," Jonghyun said to him, carefully observing the look on the younger's face. "You're just reading too much into things and ended up getting the wrong idea." Wary that his own expression might give something away, he went to get the dish towel and tried to control himself before returning to his spot and waited for Taemin to finish.
"Maybe, but the thing is I have eyes." Taemin said as he handed him a dish. "You were acting a bit weird yesterday when we were making dinner and made a fuss when Onew hyung and Key hyung were assigned together and you were with Gwiboon noona. Yesterday, I noticed that Onew hyung and Key hyung were avoiding each other which was strange because it looked like they had a fight or something. And then this morning they were back to normal - the laughing and the joking and all that. Then, there's you. I'm pretty sure it wasn't just me who noticed how you were glaring at Onew hyung while we were eating earlier."
Jonghyun sighed and kept his eyes on the dish he was holding. "So what if I was glaring? I still haven't forgiven him for what he did to me." But in his mind, his reason was completely different.
"But did he and Key hyung fought? Things didn't seem okay between them yesterday."
Instead of answering, Jonghyun kept his mouth shut and continued drying the dishes Taemin was giving him, ignoring the side glances the younger was giving him. When he noticed that Key and Onew were once again talking - back to their old relationship - confusion, jealousy, and anger filled him. He kept thinking back to the night before where the two spent hours together and wondered what they talked about, remembering how close they looked that morning while they were eating.
The two of them resumed their chore in silence and when they finished they went to the living room where Taemin took a seat next to Gwiboon. With him always looking for Key, Jonghyun found him sitting on the farther end of the couch with Onew next to him, the two whispering and laughing to each other once in a while. Instead of going to him, Jonghyun went straight up to their room and lied down. With the sounds from the living room drowned out his thoughts that he managed to ignore briefly once again came back to him, with different scenarios of Onew and Key meeting in secret without him knowing popping up one after another.
He knew that he shouldn't be jumping to conclusions. He knew that he shouldn't be thinking of such things when he doesn't know anything. But even so a small part of him was already ahead of himself and is already accusing Key despite him knowing better, messing up his thoughts even further.
"Are you asleep?" Jonghyun turned around and found Key looking at him from the door. He shook his head and made some space for the latter who walked in and lied down next to him on his stomach, wrapping his arms around him. "What are you doing up here?" Key asked, resting his chin on his hands.
"Nothing, just wanted to lie down," Jonghyun replied as he pulled Key closer to him who ended up lying on top of him, their faces almost touching. "Were you watching a movie with the others?"
Key nodded. "Yeah. We just finished so Taemin's looking for a new one to watch. Let's go down, hm?" He was about to get up when Jonghyun held him tighter, rolling them around until they were lying on their side facing each other.
"In a minute," Jonghyun told him playfully, pulling their covers above them. "Let's just stay here for a while, I'm pretty sure they don't mind." Outside their room, they can already hear the beginning of another movie playing, the sound of clanging echoing followed by Taemin's voice causing them to laugh.
Instead of complaining Key went along and snuggled close to him, closing his eyes. Once in a while his mischievousness would kick in as his fingers would touch Jonghyun's face without looking and pinch him lightly. In return, Jonghyun would poke him on his sides or tickle him. Even though his mind was already occupied because of Key's presence, his curiosity still hasn't left him and they only became stronger knowing that with just the two of them alone, he now has a chance to ask the latter.
"Key..." he mumbled.
"Hmm?" the younger hummed in response.
Jonghyun cleared his throat and took a deep breath before continuing. "It's not that I'm accusing you of anything, I'm just curious. I noticed that you... and Onew hyung... you two were talking again. You two... looked so close. Just like how you two were before." He felt Key stiffened within his embrace and even without looking at him, Jonghyun knew that he was not expecting him to ask such question.
“Yeah,” Key answered in a low voice. He looked up carefully and searched for any hint of anger in Jonghyun's eyes. "It was... kind of inevitable. I mean, we cooked together last night just with the two of us... He talked to me and without really thinking, I answered him. He was being his usual self - that easy going and caring hyung. And then we coincidentally met up afterwards when everyone's sleeping. I couldn't sleep so I decided to get something to drink and get some fresh air by the balcony when I saw him there. We talked... reconciled, actually. Until we decided to go in and go to bed. That's it."
Jonghyun gave him a light pat on the back and smiled a little. "I see." Even with what Key said to him, even with the assurance, Jonghyun could still feel himself feeling jealous. He tried to hide what he was really feeling by once again pulling Key closer to him, forcing his words to get rid of what he was feeling.
"Please don't be jealous," Key said to him in a soft voice. "We just became friends again... for good. I know I said that it would be better if I just forget about him but actually doing it was harder than I expected it to be. It's like forgetting a family member. We're just friends and I made sure that it's all we're ever going to be from now on."
Assurance. Doubt. And reassurance.
It's been the same cycle over and over again ever since they became together - ever since he decided to give it another try after what happened between Key and Onew. Jonghyun knew that he shouldn't be the one complaining when he's the one who needs to be kept assured, that the trust between them - his trust - was not as strong as he wanted it to be. He knew he needed to change. The problem is he doesn't know where to begin.
~
Gwiboon knew that every time she and Jonghyun were together after they broke up, they always ended up arguing. She knew that no matter what she say, it'll always end up angering Jonghyun. When she saw him walking by the shore despite the cold weather, despite already knowing what might end up happening, she still went up to him and walked beside him ignoring the side glances the older would give her. When Jonghyun stopped walking and sat down on the sand, Gwiboon did the same as well and hugged herself closer, the two of them sitting in silence.
"What are you doing here?" she asked moments later, ignoring the awkwardness that was beginning to settle between them. "Everyone’s inside and you’re out here in the cold. Something wrong?”
Jonghyun sighed. “What do you want from me, Gwiboon? If you're just going to spout nonsense about how Onew hyung and Key should be together then please, just leave me alone. I'm not in the mood to listen to your crap."
"I'm just being a concerned friend here, am I not allowed to do that?"
"Concerned?" Jonghyun feigned a laugh as he shook his head. "Why? Is Onew hyung that busy talking to Key that you're out here bothering someone else? If you really want someone to talk to, go to Taemin or Minho."
Gwiboon looked at him in irritation, pursing her lips as she tried not to let herself get carried away. "Once again, you're acting like a complete douche just like how did when you asked me to meet up with you. No matter how messed up our relationship ended up becoming, I still consider you as a friend. I've known you for years. Do you think what happened between us didn't hurt me? Of course it did. The only difference was that I was able to heal faster than you did. I'm just trying to talk to you as a friend and you see it as me doing it out of boredom? Get over yourself."
Instead of leaving she hugged herself closer and huffed, letting the sound of the waves get rid of the tension and replace the silence. Neither of them spoke nor moved from their places, their gazes locked on the waters as they reach the shore and the seagulls that would fly above them, once in a while shooing them when they get too close.
Eventually Gwiboon turned her attention away from the ocean and began playing with the damp sand beside her, tracing patterns and moulding them with her hands.
"How do you do it?" Jonghyun suddenly asked in a low voice, his face void of any expression.
Gwiboon looked up at him in confusion but continued what she was doing. "The what?" she asked back.
"Staying friends with Onew hyung. How can you stand it?" Jonghyun kept his gaze locked on the waters in front of them instead of facing her, silently noticing that her presence close to him was not as uncomfortable as he expected it would get. "Don't you feel angry just looking at him?"
"Why are you asking all of a sudden?"
"Just..."
Gwiboon straightened herself and thought about his question carefully, looking back down onto the pile of sand in front of her. "I don't know," she laughed half-heartedly. "When he broke up with me I was devastated. But thinking about it now after you asked me, it's actually quite surprising that I'm doing it." She turned her gaze away from him and thought back to when things were still less chaotic and complicated. "I still feel jealous, of course. Seeing him and Key talk again, seeing them back to how they were, of course I still feel a little hurt. It hasn't been that long since Onew oppa and I broke up. But it's still quite surprising how I'm able to act like nothing's wrong. Maybe I really am a hypocrite for pushing the guy I like to the person he likes. For always trying to know everything even when deep down it'll only hurt me and for always trying to get myself involved. I'm not mad though. I don't feel any hatred or anger towards them, that's for sure."
Jonghyun noticed how the tone of her voice gradually changed, finally shifting his attention to her and saw the expression on her face. He saw her wipe her cheek with her sleeve and breathed deeply as she tried to make the moulded sand hold itself together, purposefully avoiding his gaze.
"Maybe I'm finally getting punished," she said with a sigh. "Falling for another guy when I'm still in a relationship with another. All the while knowing that one of my best friends was already in love with the guy I like." Gwiboon glanced at him and the questioning look on his face made her continue. "I already knew about Key's feelings for Onew oppa long ago. I saw it. At first I thought it was nothing, that he was just feeling a little robbed because Onew oppa and I began spending more time together. Every time I saw him during our get-togethers, he was looking at Onew oppa for a period of time and then he'd look away, only looking back at him when they talk. When they were together - just the two of them - that's when I saw it. It's when I realized that I wasn't making things up. The look on Key's eyes very clearly said that he was in love. It's actually funny because I'm pretty sure I saw the same thing from Onew oppa when he's looking at Key. When they talk to each other, the way their eyes communicate was completely different to what their lips were saying. It's like their eyes were having a communication of their own. Even when I already knew about Key's feelings for Onew oppa I still went on with what I wanted. I honestly didn’t expect that Onew oppa would go out with me when I was so certain that he liked Key.
"I guess I was really proud of myself. You were right when you called me conceited. That I always think I’m perfect that I never even imagined getting dumped by someone because in my head it was always, 'who would ever want to leave me for someone else?’. And when it actually happened, I was lost. When Onew oppa broke up with me, it didn't hit me immediately. We were still able to hang out hours after he dumped me and somehow I even managed to get a date because I thought it will be easy to forget about him. And when he dropped me off that night that's when it finally hit me. I started crying. I was hurt. I only managed to calm myself before he left. When I got inside, when it was finally just me, it felt even worse. I fell way too hard I don't even know how I'm going to get back up.
"It felt like I went through a hurricane. It was a complete mess but when I saw him again afterwards I was perfectly calm - as if nothing happened. It's so weird that it's almost unbelievable." When the sand wouldn't hold up, Gwiboon gave up and dusted her hands. "Do you want to go somewhere else?" she asked, half expecting him to say no. She saw him ponder for a while and stood up soon after, waiting for her without a word causing the corners of her lips to curve into a smile. "Awesome, I saw a nice little cafe on the way here yesterday. It's not that far so we can just walk."
She stood up happily and almost linked her arms to Jonghyun out of habit, only managing to stop herself just as she was about to touch him. She looked at him carefully to see if he noticed it and heaved a sigh of relief when he remained unfazed, placing her hands her pockets as the two of them walked together towards the road.
"Okay, since you've asked me all these questions and I answered them with complete honesty, it's my turn." Gwiboon leaned forward and stared at him, her eyes narrowing. "Why were you suddenly so curious about me?"
Jonghyun stared back at her with a blank expression and leaned back on his seat, shifting his gaze on the drink in front of him. "Nothing," he said in a low voice. "I just... I just wanted to know how you're doing it. It just seemed so impossible to be happy for someone who's hurting you, to see them with the person they like."
"I told you it wasn't easy for me at the beginning. But it still got better for me the more I got used to it. I thought that if I made myself believe that it's going to be okay eventually, it would help. And it did. But that still doesn't answer my question."
"Did you know that Key and Onew hyung were together last night?"
"You mean when they were cooking?" Jonghyun shook his head. "You mean they met up again after that?"
"Key told me they met up coincidentally last night when everyone's sleeping. He said he came out to get something to drink when he saw Onew hyung outside he balcony."
"No. Onew oppa hasn't told me anything aside from when they were making dinner. No wonder they looked closer this morning." When Jonghyun looked down, Gwiboon sighed. “You... got jealous, didn't you?"
"I don't know how not to," he admitted. "It just irks me seeing them talk to each other. Key said he would stop talking to him for good but somehow he changed his mind and now they're just as close as before. I don't want Key to keep assuring me that nothing's going on with them anymore. I want it to stop because if it keeps on going... It'll drive him away from me."
"If it will make you feel better, Onew oppa told me that even though he still loves Key and even though I keep pushing him towards him, he only wants to be with Key just as a friend, nothing more. He said being friends with him was enough because he'd rather have that than completely lose him. He's given up."
Jonghyun stared at her and tried to see the honesty in her words. "He said that?"
Gwiboon nodded. "Yeah, he did. Pretty ridiculous if you ask me but that's not important right now. If Key has told you that nothing's going on between them then you should believe him. Both of them has given up from what we both know, and I don't think Onew oppa's really trying anything so that should be enough. You can stop being jealous because it isn't good for your relationship with Key. One of the most important things in a relationship is trust. I know Key trusts you so you should trust him as well."
Jonghyun looked at suspiciously. "Aren't you supposed to be rooting for them?"
"Yeah, well. It's over now. There's nothing I can do if neither of them wants it. Besides, now that you've made me realize something I think it's time for me to start over for myself."
She raised her drink and playfully made a toast with him, noticing how Jonghyun has gotten comfortable with her after the short amount of time they've spent together. It made her glad that the relationship between them has improved, the anger and hate that they felt towards one another slowly disappearing.
~
When Gwiboon walked through the door and her laughter reached the living room, Key was surprised to see that she was with Jonghyun who was also laughing with her. He saw the two of them talking and even nudging each other. "What so funny?" he asked with a curious smile on his face.
"Jonghyun was just telling me about that time in high school where we were joking around while having a drink and he ended up spitting out his drink through his nose from laughter."
Gwiboon laughed at the memory as she made her way beside Key, leaning her head on his shoulder. Jonghyun followed as he sat on the armrest next to Key, draping his arm on the back of the sofa. "It hurt you know," he said. "It was a soda, it burned."
"Well, it was your fault. You're the one who wanted to make funny faces."
Key took her hand and held them, leaning back against Jonghyun. "Looks like you two had a good day today," he said looking towards her and Jonghyun. "Where'd you guys go? We were looking everywhere for you."
"We just went to check the new café nearby. It was nice. They have these cute little decorations but the atmosphere was very calming and a tad fancy because of the interior. Where are the others?"
"Onew hyung's in the kitchen preparing late lunch. Taemin dragged Minho to the mart because he wants to have a bonfire tonight. He suddenly screamed 'S'mores!' while we were watching earlier."
Gwiboon laughed. "I can't believe we forgot about that," she said. "We were supposed to buy them together. Gosh. Taemin probably got mad. Well, I guess I'll just check on Onew oppa and see how it's going." She patted Key's leg and stood up, calling Onew's name as she entered the kitchen.
With the two of them left alone Key leaned his head back and looked at Jonghyun, a teasing smile on his face. "What are you smiling about?" Jonghyun asked, taking Gwiboon's spot on the couch.
Key brought his legs up and cuddled next to him, hugging his arm. "Nothing really," he murmured. "I'm just... happy seeing you and Gwiboon talk, that's all. It was nice seeing you two friends again.
Jonghyun held him closer. "I told you we're good again, didn't I?"
"Yeah, but you were being jerk-ish last night for making a fuss about who's with who. It was just making dinner."
"I'm sorry, I... I don't know what got me last night. But I promise it will never happen again.”
Key sat up and faced him, placing both of his hands on Jonghyun's face. "It better not or else I'm gonna be so pissed,” he said and kissed him.
~
"You and Jonghyun?" Onew asked in a low voice as he looked at Gwiboon who nodded at his question, putting down the knife he was holding and crossed his arms. "You two were together this whole time?" Again, she nodded. "Really..."
Gwiboon hopped and sat on the counter next to him. "Yep, hard to believe but we really were together." She took a bite out of her apple and peered over the pan that was simmering on the stove, giving Onew a thumbs up. "It was weird spending time with him. I mean, it started off with him being a complete jerk but after giving him a piece of my mind it got better. Then we just started talking about the past. Well, the good parts of it, not the ty ones."
"What did you two talk about?" Onew then asked as resumed what he was doing. "I already know it's probably about me but what exactly?"
"Yeah, it was partly about you. But I'm not allowed to tell you since Jjong told me to keep it to myself." Gwiboon winked at him. "He knew that we always talk about everything that happens between you and Key so..."
Onew laughed in disbelief. "Wow, after everything I told you. Now that I'm the one asking you to spill you won't even say anything. Unbelievable."
"Well you didn't tell me that you and Key were together last night when everyone's already asleep. Jjong told me because Key told him. Is that why you two are okay now? I mean, you two were okay but now, it's like how you were way before. You know, being close and stuff."
"Yeah... I guess you could say it like that. We patched things up so we're all good."
Even though he didn't say it, Gwiboon could tell that there was something else that Onew didn't want to tell her. She could see the sadness in his eyes despite them not looking at her and with her keeping things to herself just like him, she knew that it would be better to let some things unsaid.
Gwiboon hopped off the counter and stood next to him. "Hey," she called gently. "I do want to tell you what Jonghyun and I talked about - especially what I said because I think that I should also say them to you - but I just don't know exactly how to say it in a much more appropriate way. I know I'm not supposed to because I made a promise, but when I figure how to tell you then I will."
"It's alright, Gwiboon," Onew smiled. "I'm not pressuring you to tell me. If it's that serious, then I'll wait until you're ready. We have lots of time for that. But for now, please just help me finish this since you're just standing there and I'm pretty sure everyone's starving. I don't know why on earth we watched all those movies and forgot about lunch."
She took over what he was doing and helped him finish up, setting the table and made sure that everything was ready. "I remember having a muffin earlier but after seeing what you cooked I’m suddenly hungry again. When we get back home I'm heading straight to the gym."
~
“I… I have something to say.” Everyone looked up and turned their attention to Jonghyun who was blankly staring at the small bonfire in front of them. “I know I shouldn’t because Key will get mad at me… But I just… couldn’t keep it anymore."
"Hyung, maybe you should keep it to yourself for now. You're drunk." Minho tried to take the beer Jonghyun was holding and pulled him up from his seat. "Come on, let's just go in."
Jonghyun shook him off and went back to his seat. "I'm not that drunk," he said. "I've thought about this and I... think it's time to sort things out. I don't want to feel this way anymore..."
Even when Jonghyun hasn't said anything Onew felt that he was involved in what he was about to say, setting down the beer can in his hand. He watched him with wary eyes and when Jonghyun looked up and their eyes met, he knew that he was right.
"Have you really given up on him?" he asked.
Onew turned to Gwiboon who was looking at Jonghyun in shock. "What..?"
"You know what I'm talking about - Key. Have you really given up on him? I know you still love him but you've accepted that he chose me. Is it for real?"
Taemin straightened himself up and looked at both of them in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean..?”
"I'm talking to Onew hyung!" Jonghyun cut off. "Answer me."
Onew looked at the others who were waiting for him and took a deep breath. "Yes," he said simply as he slowly began to feel the weight of the stares locked on him. "I'm still in love with Kibum and he said so himself that he still has feelings for me as well but both of us decided to stay as friends because he wanted to be with you. What he feels towards me is nothing compared to what he feels towards you so I'm done trying. I've given up. Now I'm contented that he and I can still be what we used to be - just friends."
Jonghyun let out a laugh and drank the rest of his beer. "You already said it yourself, both of you still have feelings for each other. So how the are you two supposed to stay just as friends? Even Gwiboon admitted that she's still in love with you. What is this?" he yelled as he threw the empty can in front of him. "You made my girlfriend fall in love with you. You dated her and dumped her when you realized that she's not the one you wanted after all. And then you went after Key and got him to cheat on me. Even when we've made up after what happened between the two of you, you kept on trying and now you're saying you're just friends? What the do you think this is? Some kind of game?"
"Oh my god," Taemin muttered his breath. Beside him Gwiboon covered as tears pooled her eyes.
Slowly, Minho went up to Onew. "Hyung, is that true?" he asked carefully.
Onew nodded. "Yes, but it's not like I did it on purpose. I really did love Gwiboon. But what I felt for Key was stronger and it just led me to making decisions on impulse and without thinking properly. But I already gave up. He and I decided to stay just as friends. I'm done."
"So that's the reason why Jonghyun hyung gets so angry every time I mention you?" Both of them looked at Taemin. "Why he didn't want to come here in the first place? , even I wouldn't want to see you. How could you do that? Not once but twice, for heaven's sake."
“Exactly. How could you do that to me? What did I even do to you?”
"Jonghyun, stop it," Gwiboon told him.
"It's not like I intended it to happen, Jonghyun," Onew reasoned. "I don't have any control on who I fall in love with. I did love Gwiboon but I've moved on. Kibum and I are done and even though I still love him I'm trying to move on because I've accepted that he and I are impossible. How many times do I have to keep saying it for you to get it? You can even ask him if you want to..."
"He's right. We're over." All of them looked up and found Key standing not far away from them. He went closer and took the seat where he was sitting before. "Something woke me up, and realized that maybe you guys were still drinking. I came out here thinking you're all still playing but I was so wrong. Is that what you've been curious about, huh, Jonghyun? If so, ask me then."
Gwiboon went to his side and placed a hand on his shoulder, noticing the tone in his voice.
"I'm done," Jonghyun muttered. "I have nothing else to ask."
"Done?" Key repeated angrily. "How the are you done when you only asked him? If you really want to get this over with then ask me. This whole time you kept saying that you trust me. This whole time you kept saying you believe me. And this whole time I thought I finally gained your trust back. But I guess not. And since you already started this I'll say my part."
"Kibum..." Onew warned him but Kibum shushed him. "He's drunk, he doesn't know what he's saying."
"I said shut up. It's what he wanted so I'm giving it to him. We're already talking about it anyway I might as well say everything. Yes, I cheated on you with Onew hyung and I did it on my own will. You knew how much I loved him because you were helping me move on. Remember our little stunt? It was our plan to make him realize if he has feelings for me by making him jealous with our pretend relationship but instead you ended up falling for me. I gave you a chance because I got tired of waiting for him and then he confessed to me just when I was starting to move on. That part of me who waited for years got the best of me and ed up big time that I ended up hurting you and since then I've been trying to make up for it. But now it seems like this whole time I was making up for nothing. I'm sorry that something so ridiculous happened and I know I don't even have the ing right to be upset but the thing is, I thought everything was okay between us. I thought that it was just you not being able to stand seeing him around you every time you get upset. After each time I talk to him and I see you, there's always a need for me to reassure you because I could see it in your eyes that you were upset. I didn't think that this whole time you were doubting because you never really trusted me even when you accepted me back."
Jonghyun laughed. "That stunt was to help you out, Key. Because I felt bad for you. You were never the type to drink and get drunk and yet you've hit that point just because of him. That was very pathetic. What's so difficult about confessing, anyway? That you weren't able to do it all those years. Didn't that make you feel ridiculous? If only you have done it things wouldn't have ended like this. It's all on you from the very beginning and I was stupid for letting myself get tangled in it. You think you love me? No, of course not. You just made yourself believe that but we both know it's not true. You still love Onew hyung and you being unable to let him go just proves it. Cut him off? Ha! What a load of bull. I doubt you even tried. Stop lying, please. To me, to everyone... to yourself. It's getting really stupid and pathetic." He reached for another can of beer and opened it, unaware of the tension his words caused.
Without a word Key stood up and headed back inside the house. Onew ran after him and stopped him, turning him around and made him face him. "Kibum..."
Kibum kept his head down and broke free from Onew’s grasp. "Please... I want to be alone..." He stood still with his hands clenched beside him and even though Jinki couldn't see his face, he knew that he was crying. He took a deep breath and slowly lifted his head. "I don't know how I'm going to explain myself. So for now I'll just say sorry."
~
“Where are the others?” Onew asked as he walked into the living room where Gwiboon and Minho were sitting side by side on the sofa.
Minho sighed. “Jonghyun hyung’s outside with Taemin getting some fresh air. Apparently, he doesn’t remember anything from last night. When we told him he got furious. Kibum… He went back to Seoul last night. I saw him with his bag and offered to drive him back but he insisted on taking the bus instead. I mean, after what happened I understand why he’d want to be alone.”
“Have you talked to him?”
“No. I tried calling him this morning to see if he’s back but his phone’s off. I tried again a little while ago, still nothing.”
Onew heaved a sigh and saw Jonghyun and Taemin entering through the veranda. “Have you tried calling Kibum?” he asked Jonghyun, his tone restrained.
“He’s not answering,” Jonghyun replied weakly. “I… I don’t why I said what I said last night. I swear to God I don’t where all of those came from. I thought of them but I never meant to say them. I don’t even remember that he came back out.”
“Everything you said that night, are they all true?" he asked through gritted teeth and Jonghyun nodded. "Both of you played me. It's what you both intended to happen and when it did I'm suddenly part to blame. You ended up getting mad at me for something you wanted to happen in the first place. Both of you made a joke out of me. Now tell me what the hell am I supposed to feel, Jonghyun?"
Jonghyun came up to him. “I shouldn’t have said it. At least not like that. I don’t want to lose him, hyung. Help me…” He fell to his knees with his head bowed as tears began to fall from his eyes.
A/N:
okay so things happened... whoops...
some of you will probably get mad but this is bound to happen...
comments your thoughts and i'll go finish that gift and continue the other updates waiting ...
i'll post it as soon as i finish...
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