Chapter 9
Complicated Lovehey guys!!
im sorry im late with this update its just that i woke late this morning so i had no time to post this...
jeongmal mianhae... *bows over and over again*
but don't worry, i made this update much longer than i planned so yeah...
anyways, here you go.. enjoy!! ^_^
- immaLocket029
KEY
Onew hyung kissed me. He is freaking kissing me! What the hell is going on here? Am I being pranked? What, I guess I do have feelings for you too? He is seriously playing with me, isn't he? As much as I want for the kiss to last a little longer, I have to break it.
"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, pushing him away from me, wiping my lips with the back of my hand.
He stumbled backwards and was flustered by my action, but I don't care because I'm not going to let him toy with my feelings. If he kissed me then it can only mean that he knows about how I feel towards him.
"You like me, don't you, Key?" he said. His face looked serious as if he was trying to interrogate a suspect. "You're in love with me? That's why you're so mad when I started going out Gwiboon and now you're in a relationship with Jonghyun because you're trying to move on."
My eyes bulged out of their sockets from what he just said. How did he find out? Did someone tell him? No, that couldn't be it. Jonghyun's the only one who knows about it and I'm pretty sure he would never tell anyone about it. Would he?
"I don't know what you're talking about, Onew hyung. I don't know where you get that nonsense from but you better get your facts straight because as far as I know," I rambled on in one breath. I inhaled deeply and continued in a steady voice that I tried so hard to maintain despite of the lump starting to form in my throat, "I've never had any feelings for you." I lied. What I really wanted to tell him was, "Yes! Yes, I love you! I love you so much and you have no ing idea how much I wanted to tell the whole damn world about it!"
Not letting him answer, I quickly stomped my way to my room and slammed the door shut. If my heart was beating like crazy before, right now it felt like it was vibrating from beating so fast that I had to clutch my chest to make sure that it won't leave my body for good. I sat down on my bed and willed my heart to slow down or else I’ll have a heart attack.
After trying to calm myself first, I didn't even notice stray tears rolling down my face. I don't even know the reason for these tears. They just kept falling and then I felt it. It was happiness. I feel happy that Onew hyung kissed me even if it was just like that, I’m still happy about it. Why wouldn’t I? It’s a kiss from him so it still counts. I felt so happy that my tears kept falling down my face and onto my lap and my blanket.
If anyone is to come into my room and see me, that person would probably think that I’ve gone insane because I’m here, smiling and laughing like an idiot but there are tears running down my face non-stop.
Onew hyung kissed me. He is freaking kissing me! What the hell is going on here? Am I being pranked? What, I guess I do have feelings for you too? He is seriously playing with me, isn't he? As much as I want for the kiss to last a little longer, I have to break it.
"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, pushing him away from me, wiping my lips with the back of my hand.
He stumbled backwards and was flustered by my action, but I don't care because I'm not going to let him toy with my feelings. If he kissed me then it can only mean that he knows about how I feel towards him.
"You like me, don't you, Key?" he said. His face looked serious as if he was trying to interrogate a suspect. "You're in love with me? That's why you're so mad when I started going out Gwiboon and now you're in a relationship with Jonghyun because you're trying to move on."
My eyes bulged out of their sockets from what he just said. How did he find out? Did someone tell him? No, that couldn't be it. Jonghyun's the only one who knows about it and I'm pretty sure he would never tell anyone about it. Would he?
"I don't know what you're talking about, Onew hyung. I don't know where you get that nonsense from but you better get your facts straight because as far as I know," I rambled on in one breath. I inhaled deeply and continued in a steady voice that I tried so hard to maintain despite of the lump starting to form in my throat, "I've never had any feelings for you." I lied. What I really wanted to tell him was, "Yes! Yes, I love you! I love you so much and you have no ing idea how much I wanted to tell the whole damn world about it!"
Not letting him answer, I quickly stomped my way to my room and slammed the door shut. If my heart was beating like crazy before, right now it felt like it was vibrating from beating so fast that I had to clutch my chest to make sure that it won't leave my body for good. I sat down on my bed and willed my heart to slow down or else I’ll have a heart attack.
After trying to calm myself first, I didn't even notice stray tears rolling down my face. I don't even know the reason for these tears. They just kept falling and then I felt it. It was happiness. I feel happy that Onew hyung kissed me even if it was just like that, I’m still happy about it. Why wouldn’t I? It’s a kiss from him so it still counts. I felt so happy that my tears kept falling down my face and onto my lap and my blanket.
If anyone is to come into my room and see me, that person would probably think that I’ve gone insane because I’m here, smiling and laughing like an idiot but there are tears running down my face non-stop.
ONEW
What the hell did I just do? I just kissed my best friend without thinking and now he's probably mad at me. Again! It hasn't even at least hours since we made up and now I messed it up. Well, I admit that it was my fault that I kissed him all of a sudden but I just had to see if I really do have feelings for him.
And what do you know. My heart was beating wildly inside my chest when our lips touched, and somehow, it felt good to me. Like really, really good. His lips were much softer than Gwiboon's although both of them tasted like strawberries. I can't shake the feeling off my mind, it's like it’s been engraved in my brain for eternity and will never be erased no matter what I do.
How can I be so stupid? I should've asked him properly or waited for a little while before doing anything. What if never he talked to me again? How will I be able to find out the truth then? Sigh, because of my stupidity that I'm facing this problem.
I made my way to my own room but stopped in front of the door across from mine. I can hear whimpers and sobs. The sound of it put a crack on my heart. It's because of me why he's like that.
And what do you know. My heart was beating wildly inside my chest when our lips touched, and somehow, it felt good to me. Like really, really good. His lips were much softer than Gwiboon's although both of them tasted like strawberries. I can't shake the feeling off my mind, it's like it’s been engraved in my brain for eternity and will never be erased no matter what I do.
How can I be so stupid? I should've asked him properly or waited for a little while before doing anything. What if never he talked to me again? How will I be able to find out the truth then? Sigh, because of my stupidity that I'm facing this problem.
I made my way to my own room but stopped in front of the door across from mine. I can hear whimpers and sobs. The sound of it put a crack on my heart. It's because of me why he's like that.
knock knock
"Key, open the door, please... I'm sorry about what I did, I... I don't know what suddenly got into me, I swear, it wasn't my intention to do that to you... I, I only wanted to know something within me and then I got carried away that's why it happened... Key... I'm really, really sorry... Open the door for me please..."
knock knock
I heard rustlings on the other side of the door and after a minute, the door cracked open revealing Key with his eyelashes moist and his nose pink and shiny.
"What?" he asked his voice cracking. I know he tried to make sound like he was angry but because his voice cracked it didn’t really worked that well. I suddenly had the urge to bust the door open and pull him into a hug because he looked so vulnerable to me right now. Remembering what happened just minutes earlier, I had to restrain myself from doing so.
"Can we talk? It’s okay I'd you don't want to talk just listen and hear me out, please..." I begged and moved closer to his bedroom door.
He thought about it for a moment and he opened his door more so that I could see his whole frame better. He stepped out and closed the door behind as he slumped down on the floor, sitting cross-legged. I was still standing up and he looked up at me with his eyes shiny slightly red - honestly, they looked so round and innocent compared to his feline and wild look. The way he looks at me right now reminds me of a lost kitten or maybe a little kid, either way he is tempting me to hug and cradle him.
I finally sat down onto the floor across from him, leaning against my bedroom door. For a minute, he just stared at me waiting for me to say something. I took a deep breath and started, "I'm really, really sorry, Key... Can you… can you forgive me?"
Sniff. "What makes you think I like you more than as a friend, hyung?" He changed his position; his knees bent up while his arms where resting on top, his chin resting on them. Ever since he sat down on the floor, his eyes never left mine as they continue to stare at me. They looked so piercing and the longer they linger on mine, it felt like he could reached deep within me and touch my very core.
"Well, for one, ever since I've noticed how your eyes would look whenever I talk my feelings for Gwiboon. Then that one time when I tried stopping you from going to the mall Jonghyun and then you told me to go to Gwiboon instead of wasting your time. At first I didn't mind it but then I, I don't know... I just had the idea that you might have feelings for me..."
He just sat there without doing anything yet he was still looking at me with an unreadable expression on his face. For what seemed like forever we just stared at each other without doing anything. It felt like I could stare at him forever without getting sick of it. I continued staring at him when all of a sudden Gwiboon’s face came into view. This is wrong, I know it. I already have Gwiboon and I shouldn’t be feeling any of this towards Key. He’s like a younger brother to me and I don’t want it to change. I blinked a couple of times and her face was gone replaced by Key’s confused look.
“Hyung… Do you have feelings towards me? I mean, do you like me more than as a friend? The same way you like Gwiboon?” Key asked in a soft whisper.
I don’t know what to say because I honestly don’t know what I feel towards him. I want to say no but I know it wasn’t true; I want to say yes but I’m not sure about it either. So I shook my head and looked away from him, finally tearing my gaze away from his eyes. “I don’t know. I love Gwiboon, Key, that’s for sure. But I can’t completely say that I didn’t feel anything when I kissed you earlier. Because when I kissed you, I felt the same thing when I kissed Gwiboon.”
Key straightened himself up and took a deep breath. How can he hide his emotions so completely? I can’t even read the emotions on his eyes when I looked at them. “Just answer me properly, Onew hyung. Do you have feelings for me, too? Yes or no.”
“No,” I said as stern as I could and then I saw a flash of pain and hurt reflect themselves on his eyes. As soon as they appeared they were already gone like it never appeared at all.
“Do you think it’s possible for you to develop feelings for me?” I'm pretty sure he was trying to make his voice sound as steady as possible but then it broke a couple of times as he asked me the question. By now, his expression was starting to change.
The longer I look at him, the more he looked like a child to me. The redness of his nose was gone but it was still shiny, his eyes were no longer wet but they were puffy. Sometimes, I wonder how he had been feeling whenever he's all by himself in this house. Even though we're both adults, sometimes, Key has that ability to make people treat him as a kid - care for him, play with him, and entertain him.
I've noticed it myself that we haven't been spending that much time together as we used to. The two of us playing by ourselves in the living room, that special night where the two of us would grab our comforters and sleep on the living room floor after watching movies, and the best of all, being snuggled close to him and being able to smell his unique fragrance, bringing me to a comfortable sleep.
“I don’t think so because I only think of you as my younger brother, Key. I don’t want that to change between us.” I answered in a whisper. I looked away from him and wished that those words never left my mouth in the first place. Out of the corner of my eye, I could have sworn that he wiped something on his face.
“Okay, then. That’s all I need to know, hyung. And since you became honest with me, I’m going to honest with you, too. I was, I repeat, I was in love with you. You’re the reason why I broke up with Dongwoon back in senior high because I can’t lie to him after everything he’s done for me and I don’t want to be selfish and lead him on. But now that I’m with Jonghyun, everything’s changed. Because of him, my feelings for you disappeared. I’m sorry I lied but now I’m not afraid to tell the truth. And just so you know, I still haven’t forgiven you yet for breaking my heart and stealing a kiss from me. Good night, hyung.”
He stood up from the floor and when i looked up, there already tears rolling down his face. He wiped them off hastily with his palm and went inside his room without another glance. So he did have feelings for me and to think he’s been in love with me ever since we were in high school. After all these years I never knew that my best friend was hurting because of me.
I’ve been so ignorant about it; I was selfish, I was stupid, I was self-centered, and I can understand why Key can’t forgive me. I can only be glad and relieved that he has Jonghyun now and that he has found the person that can make him happy unlike what I did to him. I stood up and went inside my room with one last look towards Key’s room.
“I’m sorry, Key. Right now, that’s all I can say to you.” I said quietly. I know he can’t hear it but every single word has my sincerity. The only thing that confuses me at this moment was the last look I've seen from his face. What are those tears for?
"What?" he asked his voice cracking. I know he tried to make sound like he was angry but because his voice cracked it didn’t really worked that well. I suddenly had the urge to bust the door open and pull him into a hug because he looked so vulnerable to me right now. Remembering what happened just minutes earlier, I had to restrain myself from doing so.
"Can we talk? It’s okay I'd you don't want to talk just listen and hear me out, please..." I begged and moved closer to his bedroom door.
He thought about it for a moment and he opened his door more so that I could see his whole frame better. He stepped out and closed the door behind as he slumped down on the floor, sitting cross-legged. I was still standing up and he looked up at me with his eyes shiny slightly red - honestly, they looked so round and innocent compared to his feline and wild look. The way he looks at me right now reminds me of a lost kitten or maybe a little kid, either way he is tempting me to hug and cradle him.
I finally sat down onto the floor across from him, leaning against my bedroom door. For a minute, he just stared at me waiting for me to say something. I took a deep breath and started, "I'm really, really sorry, Key... Can you… can you forgive me?"
Sniff. "What makes you think I like you more than as a friend, hyung?" He changed his position; his knees bent up while his arms where resting on top, his chin resting on them. Ever since he sat down on the floor, his eyes never left mine as they continue to stare at me. They looked so piercing and the longer they linger on mine, it felt like he could reached deep within me and touch my very core.
"Well, for one, ever since I've noticed how your eyes would look whenever I talk my feelings for Gwiboon. Then that one time when I tried stopping you from going to the mall Jonghyun and then you told me to go to Gwiboon instead of wasting your time. At first I didn't mind it but then I, I don't know... I just had the idea that you might have feelings for me..."
He just sat there without doing anything yet he was still looking at me with an unreadable expression on his face. For what seemed like forever we just stared at each other without doing anything. It felt like I could stare at him forever without getting sick of it. I continued staring at him when all of a sudden Gwiboon’s face came into view. This is wrong, I know it. I already have Gwiboon and I shouldn’t be feeling any of this towards Key. He’s like a younger brother to me and I don’t want it to change. I blinked a couple of times and her face was gone replaced by Key’s confused look.
“Hyung… Do you have feelings towards me? I mean, do you like me more than as a friend? The same way you like Gwiboon?” Key asked in a soft whisper.
I don’t know what to say because I honestly don’t know what I feel towards him. I want to say no but I know it wasn’t true; I want to say yes but I’m not sure about it either. So I shook my head and looked away from him, finally tearing my gaze away from his eyes. “I don’t know. I love Gwiboon, Key, that’s for sure. But I can’t completely say that I didn’t feel anything when I kissed you earlier. Because when I kissed you, I felt the same thing when I kissed Gwiboon.”
Key straightened himself up and took a deep breath. How can he hide his emotions so completely? I can’t even read the emotions on his eyes when I looked at them. “Just answer me properly, Onew hyung. Do you have feelings for me, too? Yes or no.”
“No,” I said as stern as I could and then I saw a flash of pain and hurt reflect themselves on his eyes. As soon as they appeared they were already gone like it never appeared at all.
“Do you think it’s possible for you to develop feelings for me?” I'm pretty sure he was trying to make his voice sound as steady as possible but then it broke a couple of times as he asked me the question. By now, his expression was starting to change.
The longer I look at him, the more he looked like a child to me. The redness of his nose was gone but it was still shiny, his eyes were no longer wet but they were puffy. Sometimes, I wonder how he had been feeling whenever he's all by himself in this house. Even though we're both adults, sometimes, Key has that ability to make people treat him as a kid - care for him, play with him, and entertain him.
I've noticed it myself that we haven't been spending that much time together as we used to. The two of us playing by ourselves in the living room, that special night where the two of us would grab our comforters and sleep on the living room floor after watching movies, and the best of all, being snuggled close to him and being able to smell his unique fragrance, bringing me to a comfortable sleep.
“I don’t think so because I only think of you as my younger brother, Key. I don’t want that to change between us.” I answered in a whisper. I looked away from him and wished that those words never left my mouth in the first place. Out of the corner of my eye, I could have sworn that he wiped something on his face.
“Okay, then. That’s all I need to know, hyung. And since you became honest with me, I’m going to honest with you, too. I was, I repeat, I was in love with you. You’re the reason why I broke up with Dongwoon back in senior high because I can’t lie to him after everything he’s done for me and I don’t want to be selfish and lead him on. But now that I’m with Jonghyun, everything’s changed. Because of him, my feelings for you disappeared. I’m sorry I lied but now I’m not afraid to tell the truth. And just so you know, I still haven’t forgiven you yet for breaking my heart and stealing a kiss from me. Good night, hyung.”
He stood up from the floor and when i looked up, there already tears rolling down his face. He wiped them off hastily with his palm and went inside his room without another glance. So he did have feelings for me and to think he’s been in love with me ever since we were in high school. After all these years I never knew that my best friend was hurting because of me.
I’ve been so ignorant about it; I was selfish, I was stupid, I was self-centered, and I can understand why Key can’t forgive me. I can only be glad and relieved that he has Jonghyun now and that he has found the person that can make him happy unlike what I did to him. I stood up and went inside my room with one last look towards Key’s room.
“I’m sorry, Key. Right now, that’s all I can say to you.” I said quietly. I know he can’t hear it but every single word has my sincerity. The only thing that confuses me at this moment was the last look I've seen from his face. What are those tears for?
KEY
"ing bastard. I can't believe that I'm actually in love with a scumbag like him. He's an , a dickface, a head, an idiot, a klutz, a traitor... And yet I still love him." I mumbled as I kept wiping off those stupid tears from my face. I let myself fall on top my bed, its comfort and warmth against me.
No matter how many names I call him, no matter how many insults I throw at him, he would still be the one my heart yearns for. And even though its how I feel, my stupid heart is now once again shred into pieces after hearing those words leave his mouth. “I don’t think so because I only think of you as my younger brother, Key. I don’t want that to change between us."
Minutes ago, I felt completely happy about that kiss, and now, I felt like my chest is constricting, not letting me breath properly. It hurts so much to hear those words from him. That kiss even made me think that there might be a chance for us but then he crushed that small slither of hope.
I feel so pathetic, so weak and vulnerable. Why did I even let myself think that when I already know it in the first place. The tears won't stop falling, creating a rather huge damp spot on my comforter that I just stopped wiping them off my face altogether.
Soon after, whimpers and choked sobs kept escaping through my lips, their sound felt so loud compared to the quietness of my room.
"ing bastard. I can't believe that I'm actually in love with a scumbag like him. He's an , a dickface, a head, an idiot, a klutz, a traitor... And yet I still love him." I mumbled as I kept wiping off those stupid tears from my face. I let myself fall on top my bed, its comfort and warmth against me.
No matter how many names I call him, no matter how many insults I throw at him, he would still be the one my heart yearns for. And even though its how I feel, my stupid heart is now once again shred into pieces after hearing those words leave his mouth. “I don’t think so because I only think of you as my younger brother, Key. I don’t want that to change between us."
Minutes ago, I felt completely happy about that kiss, and now, I felt like my chest is constricting, not letting me breath properly. It hurts so much to hear those words from him. That kiss even made me think that there might be a chance for us but then he crushed that small slither of hope.
I feel so pathetic, so weak and vulnerable. Why did I even let myself think that when I already know it in the first place. The tears won't stop falling, creating a rather huge damp spot on my comforter that I just stopped wiping them off my face altogether.
Soon after, whimpers and choked sobs kept escaping through my lips, their sound felt so loud compared to the quietness of my room.
JONGHYUN
“…he suddenly hugged me from behind and then he told me he missed me…” Kibum’s words kept repeating inside my head over and over again. He sounded so happy about it that I could practically see him smiling from ear to ear.
Why am I suddenly feeling so upset about it? It’s not like it’s my business for them to make up. I mean sure, its great that everything is fine between them but why am I feeling so mad about it? Come on, Jjong. What’s wrong with you? This isn’t like you to be bothered by something that doesn’t even concern you at all.
But I can’t get it off my mind! Am I falling for Key now? But isn't this supposed to be a pretend between us so how come I'm starting to have feelings for my best friend? What if Onew hyung really is feeling something for Key, then what about me? Is he going to take Key away from me, too, after he stole Gwiboon from me? I have to do something about this before Key changes his mind about us.
Through the whole night, I can only think about things that I can do to make sure that Key will change his mind towards Onew hyung. Besides, can’t he see that Onew hyung is now happy with Gwiboon? So why does he keep believing that Onew hyung will return his feelings? I’m right here, aren’t I? I can make him happy instead of him.
Do I even have a chance with Key? I mean, he’s been in love with Onew hyung for years while we’re only pretending. Well, he’s pretending but I’m not. I knew ever since we were younger Key was beautiful and kind-hearted and fun to be with, I already know that, but I just noticed how he was even more than that. Every time I’m with him, he can make me feel like it’s just the two of us, he can make me forget my surrounding, the people around us, everything. It’s like he can make the time stop ticking and the world stop spinning with just him presence.
Whenever I would see him looking far off the distance with a blank look, I know he was wishing that it was Onew hyung with him and not me. I’m fine with it, because I also feel the same thing towards Gwiboon. But it was becoming less and I kept finding myself wishing that I was the one Key wanted to be with. I’m becoming selfish, aren’t I? But it’s what love does to me. It makes me selfish, protective, and sometimes possessive.
What I feel towards Key right now is much stronger than what I felt with Gwiboon before. With her, I felt really happy, but with Key, it felt like I don’t want to let go of him ever again. I don’t to leave him alone with Onew hyung by his side when he’s at home. In fact, I don’t want Onew hyung to be looking at him, talking to him, let alone touch him. “…he suddenly hugged me from behind and then he told me he missed me…”
Oh. My. ing. . This is driving me to insanity! Wait, what if this is just temporary? What if this is just because I’m so stressed and worked up and that I’m starting to feel weird things? But what if it didn’t go away after I rest and started to fall really deep. What’s going to happen then? What if I slipped and accidentally tell Key that I love him more than I should, what would he think of me then? A creep? A freak? Hell, maybe he’ll even stop being my best friend because he’ll think I’m a weird person who fell in love with him through a pretend relationship.
Woah, woah, woah. Hold on a ing minute here. In love? I thought I only like him so why am I now talking about being in love with him? Oh shut the up, Jonghyun! Stop being so pessimistic and look on the bright side of this! A voice inside my head tells me.
Bright side? What bright side? Is there even a bright inside with this ing dilemma inside my head? Dear Lord, I’ve gone insane, haven’t I? I even started talking to myself. Is it bad to fall in love with my best friend? Is that it? Is that why you’re punishing me, huh, Big Guy? Do you really hate my guts that much because I fe –
“…he suddenly hugged me from behind and then he told me he missed me…” Kibum’s words kept repeating inside my head over and over again. He sounded so happy about it that I could practically see him smiling from ear to ear.
Why am I suddenly feeling so upset about it? It’s not like it’s my business for them to make up. I mean sure, its great that everything is fine between them but why am I feeling so mad about it? Come on, Jjong. What’s wrong with you? This isn’t like you to be bothered by something that doesn’t even concern you at all.
But I can’t get it off my mind! Am I falling for Key now? But isn't this supposed to be a pretend between us so how come I'm starting to have feelings for my best friend? What if Onew hyung really is feeling something for Key, then what about me? Is he going to take Key away from me, too, after he stole Gwiboon from me? I have to do something about this before Key changes his mind about us.
Through the whole night, I can only think about things that I can do to make sure that Key will change his mind towards Onew hyung. Besides, can’t he see that Onew hyung is now happy with Gwiboon? So why does he keep believing that Onew hyung will return his feelings? I’m right here, aren’t I? I can make him happy instead of him.
Do I even have a chance with Key? I mean, he’s been in love with Onew hyung for years while we’re only pretending. Well, he’s pretending but I’m not. I knew ever since we were younger Key was beautiful and kind-hearted and fun to be with, I already know that, but I just noticed how he was even more than that. Every time I’m with him, he can make me feel like it’s just the two of us, he can make me forget my surrounding, the people around us, everything. It’s like he can make the time stop ticking and the world stop spinning with just him presence.
Whenever I would see him looking far off the distance with a blank look, I know he was wishing that it was Onew hyung with him and not me. I’m fine with it, because I also feel the same thing towards Gwiboon. But it was becoming less and I kept finding myself wishing that I was the one Key wanted to be with. I’m becoming selfish, aren’t I? But it’s what love does to me. It makes me selfish, protective, and sometimes possessive.
What I feel towards Key right now is much stronger than what I felt with Gwiboon before. With her, I felt really happy, but with Key, it felt like I don’t want to let go of him ever again. I don’t to leave him alone with Onew hyung by his side when he’s at home. In fact, I don’t want Onew hyung to be looking at him, talking to him, let alone touch him. “…he suddenly hugged me from behind and then he told me he missed me…”
Oh. My. ing. . This is driving me to insanity! Wait, what if this is just temporary? What if this is just because I’m so stressed and worked up and that I’m starting to feel weird things? But what if it didn’t go away after I rest and started to fall really deep. What’s going to happen then? What if I slipped and accidentally tell Key that I love him more than I should, what would he think of me then? A creep? A freak? Hell, maybe he’ll even stop being my best friend because he’ll think I’m a weird person who fell in love with him through a pretend relationship.
Woah, woah, woah. Hold on a ing minute here. In love? I thought I only like him so why am I now talking about being in love with him? Oh shut the up, Jonghyun! Stop being so pessimistic and look on the bright side of this! A voice inside my head tells me.
Bright side? What bright side? Is there even a bright inside with this ing dilemma inside my head? Dear Lord, I’ve gone insane, haven’t I? I even started talking to myself. Is it bad to fall in love with my best friend? Is that it? Is that why you’re punishing me, huh, Big Guy? Do you really hate my guts that much because I fe –
brr brr
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when my phone started vibrating. It’s Key, a photo of him displaying itself on my phone.
To: Jjong-pup
From: Keyss-me
Hey, you awake?
Hey, you awake?
I need someone to talk to…
Call me back when you can… please
I need you...
-Key
What the hell happened? Last night he was so happy when his text message sounded so sad. What the did Onew hyung do to me him? Did he hurt him? What the , Jjong. Instead of rambling just call Key already! Geez, this voice inside my head is one ing annoying prick. Even before I could even dial Key’s number, my phone started ringing, showing Taemin’s happy face on the screen. God, what does he want now? Can’t he see it’s so early in the morning yet he’s calling me already?
“What?” I asked irritation clear on my voice.
“Well, good morning to you, too, Mr. Grumpy Dino Hea,” he replied back sarcastically. If only I’m in the same room as him, I would’ve probably killed him.
“What do you want, Mushroom Head?”
“Just calling to inform you that we need to meet up today.”
“Meet up? For what? Yah, don’t tell me you’re falling for me and you want to have a date with me, Taemin. Because I’m sorry, I don’t have a thing for kids unlike your e frog-faced boyfriend.”
“You really are an idiot, aren’t you, hyung? FYI, I don’t have a thing for dinosaurs, just saying. Besides, you already have Gwiboon noona and I have Minho hyung, so why in the world would I look for someone else when I have the iest man alive on earth?” he said, chuckling a little bit and then added, “No offense, hyung.”
Okay, that’s it. God really does hate me because he created an annoying and bratty human being like Taemin who decided to bring the last person I wanted to hear right now. Even with just her name, I could me anger flaring within me and since I’m still talking to Taemin on the phone, I had to breathe deeply and relax my nerves.
“Hyung? Jonghyun hyung? Hey, are you still there or did you hung up on me already?”
“I’m still here, Tae. So, why do we need to meet up again?”
"Sigh, this is what happens when you don't respond to messages, hyung. It's about Key hyung's surprise birthday party that I'm planning! Sheesh, honestly though, I was kind of annoyed when you didn't show up on our meeting."
"Oh ! I forgot! But, I can't today, Tae. I have a date and I can't just ditch."
I got up from the bed and walked towards my dresser to change my clothes. Since I live alone, I only bothered changing into loose sweatpants and walked out of my room shirtless. I made my way towards my kitchen to get myself some breakfast and being the lazy bum that I am, I only made myself a bowl cornflake cereal and a cup of coffee.
"Date? Yah, hyung, don't joke with me, okay? Gwiboon noona already said she's coming so you don't have a date." Taemin chuckled lightly and once again, I just want to strangle the life out of this kid. But can I blame him? Gwiboon and Onew hyung probably hadn't told him or Minho about me and Key 'dating'.
Since its like that, I decided to break the news to maknae. "Taemin, oh sweet little Taemin," I laughed a little bit when I heard him mumble "you're really weird, hyung" on the other end of the line and continued, "Taemin-ah, Gwiboon and I broke up weeks ago already."
"WHAT?!?!" he yelled, so loud that I had to distance my phone my ear cringing a little bit. I pulled it back and heard him say, "Yah! What the hell, Jonghyun hyung? What the are you talking about?!"
"You heard me. I broke up with Gwiboon weeks ago and now..." I trailed off. Even though it still stings about her being with my supposed best friend, a small smile still crept up on my face.
"And what?" Taemin asked. Even without me seeing him, I bet he's bouncing up and down on wherever he's sitting on right now (1. on his bed 2. on a chair 3. on the floor and most probably 4. on Minho's - meh, that's not it; if that was the case there should noises on the background).
"She's dating Onew hyung." I said carefully. I thought he hung up on me when I didn't hear anything. After a minute or so, I suddenly heard a scream - I could have sworn it ruined my hearing - followed by a non-stop chain of profanities from that not-so-innocent little mouth of our beloved maknae.
"What the are you talking about, hyung? Gwiboon noona and Onew hyung are dating? Since when? How come I'm only being informed about this? Are you for real or you're ing kidding with me? Please say you are hyung..."
"Sorry, Tae. It's the truth. Besides, I'm already over it, you know why?"
"Nope, why?"
"Because I think I'm in love with someone else and I know you'll like him, too," I said. The smile on my face was getting bigger with just the thought of Key. Oh man, I really want to see him now. And remembering his text message really made me want to hang up on Taemin and run over to his house and comfort him.
"Kim Jonghyun hyung, who is that person you're talking about? And would you mind telling me since when did you become gay?"
"I'm not gay, Taemin. I'm bi in case you have forgotten. Do you really want to know who I'm talking about, huh, Taemin?"
"... Yes. I want to know the bastard that stole you away from Gwiboon noona." His voice turned serious and I'm guessing he's already thinking of ways to kill the so-called bastard.
"I'm dating Key, Taemin. As in our best friend Key, Kim Kibum, your umma, the diva. And besides, Key didn't ruin any relationship. Onew hyung did. He and Gwiboon had been cheating behind my back even when I was still with her so I broke up with her and now the two of them are an item."
"No... No way... How can Onew hyung do that to you? His best friend? Are you sure about it, hyung? Maybe, maybe you're just mistaken." His voice started sounding so paranoid and frantic.
"Sorry, Tae. But I'm positive about it. Don't worry about it, though. I'm already over it. So now you know, do you understand why I can't come today? Key wanted to see me and it sounded urgent so just text me the details about the party, okay?" I hung up even before he could even say anything else.
I waited for a few more minutes before dialing Key's number.
"H-hello..." he answered. His voice sounded so raspy and hoarse that it was barely
understandable.
"Key? Are you okay? Are you sick? Why do you sound like that?" I was already on my feet ready to dash to my room and get changed. What the really happened last night?
"Jjong... C-can you come to m-my house today... It h-hurts so much..." he trailed off and the only sound I could hear from him was sniffing and ragged breathes.
"I'm on my way, Key. Just wait for me and I'll be there as soon as possible." I hung up and ran to my bedroom, grabbing the nearest clothes my arms could reach and put them on. As soon as I was ready I grabbed my car keys and the next thing I know I'm already speeding off to Key's house. "Just wait for me, Key... I'll be there. Just hold on for a little bit longer. Onew hyung I am so going to ing kill you the next time I see you so you better not show yourself in front of me." I said to myself and stepped on the pedal, not caring if I could through lanes passing by angry drivers.
When I finally reached my destination, I hurriedly left my car and ran inside. Since its morning and Onew hyung is most likely to be still inside, I fished out my phone from my pocket and sent a text to Key.
To: Key-bummie
From: Jjong-pup
Hey, Key… I’m already outside your apartment door…
Can you open it for me, please…?
-Jjong
I waited for a minute until I heard from the other side. When the door opened, my heart almost broke from the sight in front of me. Key looked like a mess. His eyes absolutely puffy and red, his nose has pinkish hue and he was probably having a hard to breath through his nose because his mouth was slightly agape. He moved aside to let me in and without wasting another second I dragged him myself to his room. On the way inside, I almost bumped onto Onew hyung when he came out of his room.
For a second, the thought of killing him for what he did to Key occurred to my mind but when I felt Key squeeze my hand, I had to let the thought go no matter how much it tempted me to do it.
“What are you doing here, Jonghyun?” Onew hyung asked and I could tell that I he was trying to imply that I’m not welcome to their house.
“I’m here for my boyfriend, obviously. What, do you think I’m here for you? Because you know what, apparently, I made a mistake of leaving Key all by himself here with you last night.” I turned to look at him straight in the eyes.
“Does he know about it, Key?” he looked at Key who was behind me, staring at our entwined hands. I gave him a light squeeze and answered for him instead.
“About what? His feelings for you? Yeah, I know about it. Unlike you, I figured it out all by myself because I notice things around me not like you whose busy ogling at someone else’s girlfriend.” I smirked at him as his expression changed into irritation.
“I thought you were already over it, Jonghyun. So how come you’re still being bitter about me and Gwiboon dating?” this time, it was his turn to smirk.
“Oh, I’m over it, hyung. I am so over it. but you what, since now you know about Key’s being in love with you, I’m going to do all that I can to show your it to your face what you just lost.”
I turned around without giving him another glance as I pushed Key gently inside first before closing the door behind us. I sat down on the small sofa inside his room, instead of letting him sit beside me I pulled him to my lap with both his legs stretched on my right side as his head rested on my shoulder. My left arm was supporting his back as my right hand was wiping the new batch of tears off from his face.
“Okay, would you mind telling me what the hell happened last night?” I whispered softly.
“Remember when I told you about the hug?” he whispered back, his voice hoarser than when he called me earlier. I nodded.
“After we ate dinner last night, he hugged me again. And then all of a sudden he kissed me. I pushed him away and went to my room because I don’t want him to see how that kiss affected me. He knocked on my door and he kept apologizing and he said that he just trying to see if he also has feelings for me because he figured that I was in love with him. We were talking and so I asked him if it was possible for him to love me the same way he loved Gwiboon but he said that it wasn’t and he only wants us to be friends. Just brothers and nothing more.” His sobbing turned into cries, completely drenching my shirt with his tears.
“Shh… its okay… its okay, Key, I’m right here… stop crying because Onew hyung’s not worth your tears…” I kept rubbing his back in a soothing circular motion.
“Jjong…” he sat up and looked at me.
“Yeah?” I replied.
“I want to stop this…” he said, looking down at his hands that were resting themselves on my stomach.
“What do you mean?”
“I want to stop pretending. I mean, we’re only doing this to see if Onew hyung also feels the same way towards me but now that I heard the answer myself there’s no point in continuing.” There was a smile on his face – a pained smile – as more tears kept escaping from his eyes rolling down his face and dripping onto his shirt.
“Key, I want to stop pretending, too,” I said in a serious voice. He looked up at me and continued, “I want us to stop pretending.”
There was no response from him at first before he weakly nodded his head in agreement. “Okay.”
“Do you want to know why I want us to stop?” I asked our faces only inches apart. So close that I could see how moist his eyes were from crying. He shook his head.
“I…” I took a deep breath closing my eyes in the process and when I opened them again, I took hold of his chin to make that we making eyes contact. “I want us to be real, Key. I want to be your boyfriend for real because I like you.”
His puffy eyes widen as possible as it could as they look at mine in shock. I smiled at him and said, “I want us to go out for real, Key. I want to make you forget about Onew hyung and all the pain he’s caused you the whole time. Will you allow me, Key?”
To me, it seemed that my confession took Key by surprise that he wasn’t able to talk for quite sometime. I just kept staring at him, his eyes going back and forth trying as they search mine to see if I was lying. When he finally responded, a big smile made its way upon my lips. I kissed him tenderly that soon turned feverish and sloppy. When I broke it, he was out of breath as he said, “Make me forget about him, Jjong. Make me forget all the things he did to me.”
I was more than happy to comply. I carried him bridal style towards his bed. He scooted further up until his head rested on his pillows as I climbed on top of him and began kissing him again.
You have no idea what you just lost, Onew hyung. And just so you know, I’m not going to let you have him.
ohmigoodness...
what just happened???
so what do you guys think about this chapter??
comment or subscribe!! silent readers are not welcome here... jk!!
until the next update!!
- immaLocket029
PS: do you guys want a for the next chapter?? i mean a JONGKEY ??
leave me a comment if you guys want a so that this fic will have it's first scene...
thanks!!! ^_^
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