Chapter 1
Complicated LoveAmong the six of them, there's that one person who's hurt the most and yet no one knows. Key. Though he may seem bubbly and cheerful on the outside, he was actually hurting. He didn't dare tell anyone but throughout his friendship with one of his best friends, Onew, he fell in love with him deeply. Every single fibre in his body says that he loves Onew, but the said man has another person in his heart, leaving him and his heart broken and crushed. But the person Onew loves is simply and is happily in love with his other best friend, Jonghyun.
No matter what he tells himself, there's just no one who will love him the way he wanted to be loved, no one who will wrap their arms around and no one whol will say the three meaningful words he's been longing to hear from someone. He can only wish that at least one of those things will happen to him one day in the future, that someday, he will also be able to feel the same what his friends feel being with their loved one.
At night, no matter how hard he tried not to, he would silently cry in his bed while listening to Onew’s muffled and choked sobs in the other room. He’s been doing this for so long that he eventually memorized the pattern of Onew's cry - how it would start with him sniffling until it eventually becomes a sob, the older trying his best to be as quiet as possible. In his room, Key would silently whisper words to the older, hoping that the air would deliver them to him and gently make him fall asleep, the last of his tears escaping his eyes and onto the pillow. And in the morning, he would have to feel the pain again, that agonizing pain whenever he sees Onew looking either extremely happy or unbearably sad because of Gwiboon. There’s nothing he could do about it though because if it's how fate wanted it then so be it.
If the older is happy, he can't help but also feel the same. When Key sees that Onew is smiling he can't do anything but smile back because even though he's not the reason for that smile, he'll gladly try to be happy for his friend because that's what they are in reality, just friends. And as a friend, he'll be happy for him even if it's only a pretend.
Every time he and his friends have a get together, the more he has to pretend. He have to act as though nothing was wrong, that each time he sees Onew smiling at Gwiboon, he wasn't hurting at all. Even though he likes being with them, he can't help but feel lonely on the inside. Both he and Onew are experiencing one sided love, but the way they're feeling are like dimensions apart.
Key’s just nothing to anyone but a “someone” who will listen to them whenever they have problems and troubles that no one could help but him. To them, he only existed when they need help but once he helped them, he’s gone to their lives. To them, he was just a tool, a shoulder to cry on, and nothing else. This has been his life ever since, always helping others, always thinking about others first before himself and always giving whatever the others wanted. He had never, even once, helped himself. He’s great at giving advice to others, but not once he had given himself an advice.
In his life, no has ever helped him, no one tried to ask if he have problems, no one even bothered to ask when Key was feeling sad, depressed, or even crying. No one tried to cheer him up when he was feeling down, and no one even bothered looking for him when he was not there with them. They were all busy having fun by themselves, being with the one they love, and being all complete. So to make himself feel better, he advised himself to ignore everything and everyone, be himself and be reckless for once. He decided to become someone who is exactly the opposite of him; someone who is not afraid of doing something dangerous and is not afraid of the consequences that follows.
Key started doing things he swore to God that he would never do in his lifetime and would never be seen doing so. Things that he would rather have himself killed than do it even just once. He started going to bars, getting himself drunk, flirt with guys he don’t even know, get wasted and dance all night letting himself be one with the beat of the music, and then go home just minutes before the sun rises and feel like when he wakes up.
During one of his nightly trips to the nearest bar from the apartment he shares with Onew, he didn't expect to run into someone he knew so well. As soon as Jonghyun steadied the latter who stumbled because of their sudden meeting, he felt that something was off.
"Key?" he asked in both surprise and confusion. "What are you doing here? I didn't know you can drink, come to think of it I didn't know you go to clubs either. Didn't you say back then that you hated places like this and such?"
"Key?" he asked in both surprise and confusion. "What are you doing here? I didn't know you can drink, come to think of it I didn't know you go to clubs either. Didn't you say back then that you hated places like this and such?"
Key never expected to bump onto one of his friends and the thought of the situation never occurred to him either. Fully knowing just how pathetic his situation was he decided to tell a lie instead - something he's been doing for most of his life. "Well... I thought I should try something new," he replied as nonchalantly as possible, trying to calm his racing heart because of the sudden situation. "Besides, I'm probably the only 24 year-old out there who's never been inside a club, never experienced the 'adrenaline' that you guys love so much and even had a single sip of alcohol. Even Taemin's already been inside a club, so yeah. What about you? What are you doing here?"
But far from his knowledge, Jonghyun knew that the latter was lying. "Try something new, huh? Yeah, right. If I didn't know you any better I think you're avoiding Onew hyung. Did you had a fight with him?"
"Had a fight? We aren't even talking to each other for days now." Key scoffed as he walked inside the club followed by Jonghyun. Inside the club, almost every single person dancing glanced and made way for the strutting male. Those who come to this club almost every night got the chance to know who Key is and during the nights they've seen and been with him, they all know it was best not to get into Key's bad side or things would go nasty.
"Really? Why's that?" Jonghyun asked as he sat down next to the younger male inside a VIP booth at the corner of the club, and again he was surprised. VIP, huh? he thought. Just how long has he been coming here that he's already being treated like a royalty?
"You know, you haven't really answered my question so I'm going to ask you again. What are you doing here?" Key retorted, sipping one of the drinks already given by a bartender.
Jonghyun sighed. "Gwiboon and I had a fight and honestly, I think it's the worst one we've had. For the past few days we've been fighting so much and I got so fed up that I yelled at her. I mean seriously, Key. Who wouldn't get mad when your girlfriend is spending more time with your best friend than her boyfriend?" The older exclaimed, even raising his arms to prove his point while looking completely stressed.
"Never thought that the 'perfect couple' would have had times like that." Key smirked at his friend. "Although I agree with you with that. So, I'll tell you reason why I'm here. It's because, as you said, of Onew hyung. I'm actually trying to at least forget about everything and kill time even just for a little while. It's so frustrating being all alone at home for the whole day because Onew hyung's been spending so much time with Gwiboon that I got pissed so now I'm ignoring him. Pathetic, huh?"
"I knew it, hah! You're really here because of Onew hyung. But no, I don't think it's pathetic. I mean you really like Onew hyung so it must have been hard for you to see him being with Gwiboon." Jonghyun leaned forward and took one of the glasses on the table and took a sip.
"Excuse me?" Key almost choked on his drink because what Jonghyun said since he haven't told anyone about his feelings for Onew. Staring at the other with wide eyes, he tried to regain his composure when the older began to speak again.
"I know about your feelings for Onew hyung, Key. Don't deny it. You don't have to tell me anything because I can practically see it clearly written on your face when we're all together. How long have you had feelings for him though?"
Key wanted to snap at him but the thoughtful and understanding look on Jonghyun's face told him that he can trust him. He didn't want to suffer anymore by himself and telling at least someone could probably ease up the pain he's been keeping inside him. "More than three years, I think," he began, his voice soft and almost barely audible because of the loud music surrounding them. "More than three years of nothing but a stupid one-sided love." He lowered his head and began playing with his drink by swirling the liquid inside. He felt like crying and spilling everything in his mind but he doesn't want to. He already promised himself that he'll be strong and prove to everyone that he's worth loving for. More importantly, he had to show Onew that he just lost someone who had been loving him and caring for him all this time.
Jonghyun saw the pained look on Key's face and he felt something tug at his heart. He didn't know it's been that long since the younger has been hurting because of their hyung. He turned his attention to the dance floor instead, thinking of something to do to help his best friend. When he thought of something, he looked back at the younger again and spoke. "Maybe... Maybe we could help each other out," he said.
Key looked up and replied, "What do you mean?" He was clearly confused with what the older was trying to say, but being the curious person that he is he wanted to know.
"We could pretend that we're in a relationship and then we'll see if Onew hyung has feelings for you, too."
Key scoffed at the older. "Are you an idiot or what, Jonghyun? Can't you see that Onew hyung is in love with your girlfriend? How is he going to have feelings for me when all he can see is Gwiboon?" Key knows that Jonghyun was just trying to help him but somehow he had the slightest urge to just smack the older in the face.
"But it's worth a try, don't you think?" Jonghyun sat closer towards the latter and leaned in. "If he has feelings for you even the tiniest bit then we'll make it grow until all he can see and think about is you, not Gwiboon. Besides, you and Onew hyung had much more history than he had with her. Do you really think he didn't at least treated you special or something? You two obviously have something much more than being best friends, Key, and to be honest, he treats you way too differently than Onew hyung treats me, Minho or even Taemin."
"But what if doesn't work? What's going to happen then? Won't that make me look a like fool in the end? Using someone just to see if Onew hyung really loves me but turns out he doesn't?" Key looked at the older, doubt and hopelessness clear in his eyes.
"Will you stop being so pessimistic for like one second? If you really think Onew hyung doesn't love you then how come he pretended to be your boyfriend so that your psycho admirer/stalker Dongwoon would stop bothering you?"
"He only pretended because I begged him to, Jonghyun. He didn't do it willingly, okay? And for your information I'm not being pessimistic, I'm only saying the truth." Key rolled his eyes and looked at somewhere else other than Jonghyun.
"Whatever. So, do you want to do it or not?"
Key wanted to snap at him but the thoughtful and understanding look on Jonghyun's face told him that he can trust him. He didn't want to suffer anymore by himself and telling at least someone could probably ease up the pain he's been keeping inside him. "More than three years, I think," he began, his voice soft and almost barely audible because of the loud music surrounding them. "More than three years of nothing but a stupid one-sided love." He lowered his head and began playing with his drink by swirling the liquid inside. He felt like crying and spilling everything in his mind but he doesn't want to. He already promised himself that he'll be strong and prove to everyone that he's worth loving for. More importantly, he had to show Onew that he just lost someone who had been loving him and caring for him all this time.
Jonghyun saw the pained look on Key's face and he felt something tug at his heart. He didn't know it's been that long since the younger has been hurting because of their hyung. He turned his attention to the dance floor instead, thinking of something to do to help his best friend. When he thought of something, he looked back at the younger again and spoke. "Maybe... Maybe we could help each other out," he said.
Key looked up and replied, "What do you mean?" He was clearly confused with what the older was trying to say, but being the curious person that he is he wanted to know.
"We could pretend that we're in a relationship and then we'll see if Onew hyung has feelings for you, too."
Key scoffed at the older. "Are you an idiot or what, Jonghyun? Can't you see that Onew hyung is in love with your girlfriend? How is he going to have feelings for me when all he can see is Gwiboon?" Key knows that Jonghyun was just trying to help him but somehow he had the slightest urge to just smack the older in the face.
"But it's worth a try, don't you think?" Jonghyun sat closer towards the latter and leaned in. "If he has feelings for you even the tiniest bit then we'll make it grow until all he can see and think about is you, not Gwiboon. Besides, you and Onew hyung had much more history than he had with her. Do you really think he didn't at least treated you special or something? You two obviously have something much more than being best friends, Key, and to be honest, he treats you way too differently than Onew hyung treats me, Minho or even Taemin."
"But what if doesn't work? What's going to happen then? Won't that make me look a like fool in the end? Using someone just to see if Onew hyung really loves me but turns out he doesn't?" Key looked at the older, doubt and hopelessness clear in his eyes.
"Will you stop being so pessimistic for like one second? If you really think Onew hyung doesn't love you then how come he pretended to be your boyfriend so that your psycho admirer/stalker Dongwoon would stop bothering you?"
"He only pretended because I begged him to, Jonghyun. He didn't do it willingly, okay? And for your information I'm not being pessimistic, I'm only saying the truth." Key rolled his eyes and looked at somewhere else other than Jonghyun.
"Whatever. So, do you want to do it or not?"
The younger didn't have to look because he knows that Jonghyun had his puppy eyes on so that he would give in with his idea. Knowing Jonghyun for years, Key should have remembered that the other male was the type who doesn't stop until he get what he wanted. He thought about it for a while, thinking that maybe Jonghyun was right. For years, he and Onew did have a lot of good memories that can be considered as special, memories that made Key fall in love with the older male and memories he would always cherish. But they were also the memories where he thought that Onew also had feelings for him, too. Until the older confessed to him that he's in love with Gwiboon.
He looked at Jonghyun again and sighed before replying, "Fine, I'll do it. We'll pretend that we're going out and see if Onew hyung really does have feelings for me." After a moment of silence he remembered something. "But wait, what about Gwiboon, though? I mean we have tell her at least, right?"
"Nah, we won’t tell her. If she wants to be with Onew hyung so much then fine, she can go and be together with him, I don't care." Jonghyun's face looked serious all of a sudden, though a hint of hurt could be seen in his dark eyes.
"What the hell?" Key exclaimed, almost slamming his drink on the small table between him and Jonghyun. "What about me then? Isn't Onew hyung supposed to be with me so why are you okay with Gwiboon being with him? Isn't it why you asked me to pretend with you?"
He looked at Jonghyun again and sighed before replying, "Fine, I'll do it. We'll pretend that we're going out and see if Onew hyung really does have feelings for me." After a moment of silence he remembered something. "But wait, what about Gwiboon, though? I mean we have tell her at least, right?"
"Nah, we won’t tell her. If she wants to be with Onew hyung so much then fine, she can go and be together with him, I don't care." Jonghyun's face looked serious all of a sudden, though a hint of hurt could be seen in his dark eyes.
"What the hell?" Key exclaimed, almost slamming his drink on the small table between him and Jonghyun. "What about me then? Isn't Onew hyung supposed to be with me so why are you okay with Gwiboon being with him? Isn't it why you asked me to pretend with you?"
Jonghyun turned his gaze back to Key, seeing the younger was suddenly angry. "Sorry," he muttered. "You know what, you're right. Onew hyung is yours, not Gwiboon's. Though right now I don't really care who she belongs to. I don't even know if she wants to continue our relationship anymore."
Key wanted to ask if the other was okay but thought better when he can clearly see that the older was frustrated. Who wouldn't be though? Like Jonghyun said, his girlfriend was spending more time with his best friend than with her own boyfriend. Somehow, Key felt like as if something heavy has been lifted off of his shoulders, knowing that even for a while he's not alone when it comes to being hurt because of loving someone.
A/N:
hey!! that's chapter 1 for you guys!!
here's one fact for all of you:
when i first wrote this, key actually tried to kill himself but i decided to change it since my first fic was angst
and... my friend said she doesn't like it when key is suicidal in this story so... i changed it!!
anywho... chapter 2 will be up so please comment/subscribe...
-immaLocket029
PS: if you guys find any mistakes (misspelled words or grammatical errors), forgive me since english is my second language... bye guys!!
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