It was especially hard for Kai to hold back that night.  He was conscious of every part of her body that stuck closely to his and he would hold his breath whenever she moved in her sleep; the feathery touches on his arm as he hugged her from behind, the way she pressed her back closer to him, all unconsciously.  He had explained how he did not have anything but his touches to show her how he feels for her, and that meant that there’s going to be a point he’d reach when he finally decides to directly confess to her.  But he wouldn’t do it when Haerin doesn’t want to.  She was unconscious; asleep.  That would make all the holding back all these times completely fruitless.  

He allowed himself kisses behind her ear, on the nape of her neck, and the slight trail of his fingers up her stomach, where her shirt had so defencelessly ridden up.  He would hear her sigh in content and he would stop, kissing her head and drifting into short naps before waking up to watch her and do everything all over again.

Between all that, Kai managed to find his sleep and he wakes up to the curtained light of the sun, piercing through his eyelids.  The door opens and he lazily moves his gaze to see who’s coming in.

“Morning,” Haerin’s head pops out with a grin and she had a tray in her hands, full of food.  “Breakfast,”

Kai glances at the empty space beside him and then at the girl setting down the food in front of him, feeling the butterflies attack his stomach and putting a wide smile on his face.  He reaches up to tilt her chin towards him and presses a long, lingering kiss on her lips, grinning when she kisses back.  “Morning, beautiful,” He says, before running his tongue over her bottom lip, asking for entrance.

Haerin blushes beet red at the two words Kai spoke, slapping his arm as she pulls away.  “What are you all smiley about? A deep kiss so early in the morning, this ert,” She settles down across the tray from him and starts mixing his food.  

“I was hoping I could give you a wake up kiss,” He grins when Haerin glares at him from under her eyebrows.  “But you’re busy making me food.  It’s so y to have someone unattached to you make you breakfast in bed, where you’re supposed to be having se—“

Haerin cuts him off with a spoonful of rice.  Shaking her head at him, she feeds herself and idly chews her food.  The wordless feeding continues until it came down to Haerin’s last spoon.  Kai, who was done a few spoonfuls ago, speaks up as he watches her drink.  “Let me try,” He takes the spoon from her hand and tidily scoops the remnants of her food onto it.  “Aah,” He opens his mouth, urging Haerin to follow suit.

Haerin leans forward to take it into but Kai pulls the spoon away and replaces it with his mouth, slipping the mint candy he was eating into with his tongue.  But that wasn’t it, because he leaned forward even more and pushed her closer towards him by the nape of her neck.  The bowls clink as his knee hits the tray and he clicks his tongue in irritation, speedily getting rid of the tray, setting it down on the floor before returning to pushing Haerin down onto the bed, tasting the aftertaste of the disappearing mint on her tongue.  “Mmh,” He growls appreciatively when Haerin’s fingers tickle his abs.  

“ from all the holding back, huh, Dr. Kim?” Haerin smirks, knowing how much he likes it when she calls him that.

“Did you do everything last night on purpose?” Kai lets out a low moan when her teeth grazes his collarbone.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t,” Haerin hums playfully and les on his neck, flipping their position.  “This,” She pulls off his shirt and runs her hand up and down his torso, grazing his sensitive spots as she speaks into her kisses on his neck.  “This is all mine,” She pushes him down by the chest when he tries to sit up and kiss her on the lips.  “Got it?”

Kai nods and gets pushed down again.  Frustrated, he grabs Haerin’s wrist to stop her from pushing him down.  “I got it, damn it! Just let me—“

Haerin giggles at his aggressiveness and holds his wrists down by the sides of his head, kissing him everywhere but on the lips.  Electricity jolted through Kai’s body when she touches the spots that made his nerves go haywire.  He could simply flip them over again, but this was an unexpected side to Haerin that only came up whenever they were in a sober make-out session.  When her kisses trail down lower, lower, and way lower, already tickling his exposed pelvic bone with her hair, Kai’s eyes rolls to the back of his head and he had to find enough control to swiftly flip their position and pull his shirt back over his head.  

“Bad, that was bad,” He pants, shutting his eyes and holding Haerin down simultaneously.  “Down, Haerin,” He says through gritted teeth when she grinds their nether regions together.

He opens his eyes to a pouting Haerin, as flushed as he is, and as he comes down from his dangerous state of body and mind, pecks her and lies down beside her, letting the sound of their hushed panting fill the room.  “There’s a good side to letting you go commando because it’s so, very hot, but there’s a bad side, too,” He murmurs.

“How can you call me hot when you haven’t seen me shirtless?” Haerin jokes and cracks up at the bewildered look upon Kai’s face.

“You crazy girl,” He pushes the heels of his hands onto his eyes, strongly resisting the image of Haerin in her underwear.  “What colour are they?” He quietly asks and chuckles when Haerin laughs again.

“Imagine them in your favourite colour,”

Kai contemplates the idea.  “I’d rather imagine them in a colour that suits you,”

Haerin turns to him and sets her head on his chest, tracing circles as she looked up at him.  “And what’s that?”

“Broken white,”

“Broken white?”

“Yeah,”

“Why?”

“Because I know how you went through a lot.  You went through ups and downs alone.  But you’re still standing tall, despite all that.  So, broken white.  And because white makes your skin glow,”

Haerin scrunches her nose at the sensitivity of Kai’s explanation.  “Such a boring color,”

“Nah, because you’re in white, you leave all the colouring to me, which is what’s so fun about having you around,” Kai kisses the top of her head and the change of rhythm in his breathing told Haerin that he had drifted off into another sleep.

Haerin chuckles at him and kisses him on the eyes before pulling the blanket over his body and running her hand through his hair.  

It’s amazing how she can trust him so much.

And it’s amazing how she can be so much in love.