Her parents were waiting just across the street, waving at their children, who were impatiently glancing at the traffic lights to switch to green for pedestrians.  As it did, their parents were the first ones to trot over to the zebra cross, ready to take their children into their arms.  Haerin wanted to tell them to stop, to tell them to wait for a second longer, but of course she couldn’t.  She was watching the scene, watching the little her, the little Yunjae and her parents, unable to do a single thing.  The red car flung their parents with a sickening sound and zoomed away, murmurs of horror rippling amongst the crowd.

Haerin jolts awake the next morning, eyes flitting back and forth in assessment of her surroundings.  She spots a guy sitting on the furry rug beneath the sofa she was on, who was asleep in a sitting position with his arms crossed.  It’s Do Kyungsoo.

A bruise colors one of his eyes and Haerin reaches out to touch it, wondering if he got it when he was getting rid of those guys from the park.  Inches away, she stops, balling her hand into a fist before sitting up slowly, pushing away the swelling sentiment.  No, she’s not going to let him make his way into her heart.  It’s for Yunjae and Yunjae only.  She can’t afford to be frightened to lose someone else.  She can’t afford another person to cherish.

Haerin jots down a note of apology and gratitude, setting it on the table before folding the blankets and leaving the house quietly, casting a final glance at the sleeping boy.  She wanted to curse at herself for being such an ungrateful wretch, but she couldn’t fight the fear.  It would be too much.

“Who, are you?”

Haerin jumps at the voice behind her and she turns to look at the couple getting off the car and making their way towards the entrance.  A photograph of Kyungsoo’s family flashes in her mind and she recognizes the two as his parents.  “H-hello, I’m Haerin, Son Haerin, Kyungsoo’s friend,” She bows towards the two.  “I was j-just making my way-“

“Why the rush?” The mother smiles kindly, although it was evident that she was exhausted.  “Join us for breakfast,”

“Yes, please, we brought chinese take-outs,” The husband puts his arm around his wife; his smile switching to a worried frown when he notices the state Haerin is in.  “What happened, dear? Did anything bad happen?”

“I-it’s- I-“ Haerin clears as her voice cracks, stepping away when Kyungsoo’s parents approach her.  “I-I’m sorry, I have to go.  I’m very sorry, please forgive me, it was nice to meet you,”

With that, she runs off, disregarding all of her consciousness on common courtesy.  There was one thing that Kyungsoo and his parents had in common; the way they talk to you as if you’re the most important person in the whole world and that nothing mattered except for what you’re saying and what you’re feeling.  It might be gratifying for other people, but it choked Haerin, who had plenty of things she keep to herself.

It wasn’t that she disliked it; she just couldn’t bear it.

She would rather have every single person in the world ignore her than have one single person pay attention to her.

Her feet take her upstairs into her room, where Yunjae had been up all night.  She drops onto her feet and sets her forehead onto his shoulder, relaxed to know that she’s in the arms of her brother.  Yunjae pulls away and frantically gestures with his hand.  ‘Where the heck have you been?! What happened?! Did you see Kyungsoo-hyung? Oh my God, noona, who did this to you?’

“3 guys ganged up on me l-last night in that park, I- I couldn’t do anything a-and- and I was so, so s-scared and then Kyungsoo c-came and made them all go away a-and helped me with my wounds, b-but-“ Haerin chokes back on a lump in as she recalls the way his gentle hands treated her.  “I’m s-still scared,”

Yunjae pulls his sister into his arms, rocking her back and forth as she sobs, hugging him back weakly with one hand.  He knew exactly what she meant.  Why did you think she never had a boyfriend? Never had a crush? Never let her feelings loose and instead force them down ? People might be indebted to her favors, people might consider her important, but to her, she was treating everybody the same way, so that nobody could ever be special to her.

‘You didn’t see that coming, did you?’ Yunjae gives her an apologetic look, rubbing small circles on her back.  ‘It’s okay, noona, you would have to open up, sooner or later, whether you like it or not, you can’t stay like this for your whole life.’

“But what if-“ Haerin lets out a shaky breath at her own upcoming words.  “What if I don’t want to? What if I lose him?”

Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and tilting her chin upwards, Yunjae gestures slowly.  ‘You don’t have to protect everybody, you know.  Why don’t you let someone else protect you for once?’

***

Haerin had a week’s leave from school.  Apparently, Kyungsoo’s parents had acted up as her guardian and told the school board about her injuries and absence.  Kyungsoo texted her constantly, even if she didn’t reply.  He kept reminding her to take her vitamins and to rest enough for her arm to get better. 

Now, it’s the weekends again.

And now, she’s back again at Kyungsoo’s doorstep, shoulder joint still tightly in a bandage but her hands feels well enough to be moving and her scars are healing.  She brought a basket of fruits with her and she was pacing, in confusion and in contemplation of what to say when she faces the Do family. 

She didn’t thank Kyungsoo properly when he got himself bruised for her.  She ran off when his parents invited her to breakfast.  She didn’t reply to his texts, nor did she pick up his calls.  She blocked him out completely when he was the one who, for a lack of better words, saved her life.  What could she possibly say, after all that?

“Ya, Son Haerin, get inside,”

She flinches at the altered voice of Do Kyungsoo, coming from the intercom to her side.  “We can see you from here, hurry and get inside,”

Followed by a click, the door subtly hums as the locks open, making way for Haerin to enter the house.  “O-okay,” She mutters, stepping inside the house once more.

An expressionless Kyungsoo faces her as she takes off her shoes.  He’s crossing his arms, leaning onto the wall while he watches her take off her footwear in his house, as if he had nothing better to do.  “I’m sorry, okay,” Haerin lifts up the basket of fruits to his chest, urging him to take it without meeting his eyes.  “Stop staring already,”

Kyungsoo looks at her hand and sighs in relief.  “They’re healing, that’s good,” Their hands graze each other as he takes the basket from Haerin.  “I’m assessing your condition.  I’ve had enough of staring at you when you slept,”

At this line, Haerin lifts her head up to gape at him and Kyungsoo laughs lightheartedly.  A blush creeps up her cheeks and she offers him a reluctant smile.  “Thanks a lot, Kyungsoo, for everything,”

“Hey, you were a damsel in total distress.  I was bound to help you,” He grins, jerking his head towards the dining table.  “Come on in, we’re cooking for lunch,”

Haerin grins along, but backtracks, trotting after him into his house.  “We? Why do you keep saying we since- oh,” She clears when she spots the backs of his parents in the kitchen.

On cue, they turn with a smile on their faces and welcome Haerin with a grin so identical to Kyungsoo’s.  “Haerin-ssi, right? We made lunch, come and join us,” His mother says, gesturing at the pan of creamy pasta in her hands.

“You couldn’t join us for breakfast back then, so think of it as paying your debt,” Joking, Kyungsoo’s father evokes laughter from the family, putting a sheepish grin on Haerin’s face. 

“Just Haerin, please, Mrs. Do and I’m very sorry about last time, Mr. Do, it was very disrespectful of me,” Haerin takes the plates from Kyungsoo’s arms and helps the three of them set up the table.  He pulls out a seat for her and Haerin flashes him a smile before taking it.  Kyungsoo sits beside her and his parents sit across from them, the dining table filled with the pasta and side dishes.

Throughout lunch, Kyungsoo could only steal glances at Haerin.  At the girl sitting beside him, who was beaming, ever so brightly, unlike any other time he had seen her before.  Not even when she was singing, not even when her brother was around.  Something in her was opening up.  The twinkle in her eyes, the way she laughed, and the way she seemed so lively in their conversation.  Maybe it was the food; his parents’ pasta was the best, all right.  Or maybe it was how she’s feeling better from all her injuries; her scarred hand healing and her bruises fading. 

But Kyungsoo decides against everything.  He figured that even all of those couldn’t make her that happy.

 “I heard you have a brother, Haerin?” Mr. Do asks, swallowing his food. 

“Ah, yes!” Haerin beams, glancing at Kyungsoo when she figures that he told his parents about Yunjae.  “I do.  He was still asleep this morning, but I left him a message to tell him that I’d be out,”

“Ey, you should have invited him along!” Mrs. Do points at Haerin with her fork. 

“Well, I didn’t know we would be having lunch together, Mrs. Do.  And hey, I’m the one that owes you guys something here,” Haerin utters, making everybody chuckle lightly.

“Your parents, though,” Kyungsoo starts.  “Do they know you’re here? I mean, it would be bad if you were supposed to spend the Sunday with them,” He looks at his parents and they nod in agreement.

“My parents?” Haerin blinks and frowns, as if not quite understanding the word.  “Ah, my parents.  No, they, err, they passed away 3 years ago,”

“Oh dear,” Mrs. Do says, setting down her cutleries.  “Oh dear me, we’re sorry,”

Haerin vigorously shakes her head, putting back a smile on her face.  “No! No! It’s nothing, really, it’s okay,” She laughs softly.  “I’ll help you clear the dishes,”

When Haerin stands, Kyungsoo follows suit with an “I’ll help,”, helping her take the dishes over to the sink.  Out of the corner of his eye, he pays close attention to her expression.  Her glow had disappeared.  But she was trying to hide her sensitive side, and Kyungsoo knows that she’s fighting it back.  “I’m sorry,” He quietly says, taking the plate from her and wiping the drops of water.

“It’s really okay, Kyungsoo, don’t worry,” She smiles and Kyungsoo subtly shies away at the close proximity of their faces. 

“Your parents,” Haerin starts again, looking over her shoulder briefly to catch Kyungsoo’s parents in a discussion over at the living room.  “They’re really nice people,”

He follows her gaze but instead of looking at his parents, he looks at Haerin, who had a nostalgic, melancholic expression, which she immediately hides, like she always does.  Hey, Kyungsoo isn’t the son of two of Korea’s best psychologists for nothing.  Observation is his natural expertise.  “Yeah, they are.  Who do you live with now, though? Just you and Yunjae?”

“Me?” Haerin repeats, keeping her eyes on the dishes.  Those white, puffy foams seemed particularly interesting to her right now.  “Nah, we live with our uncle.  My father’s b-brother,” She clears much too loudly at the end of her sentence, trying to hide the fact that her voice faltered on her.  “Done!” Haerin dries her hand and somehow lets out a nervous laugh before helping Kyungsoo put up the dishes on their shelves.  She risks a glance at him and after meeting him at the start of the day and having lunch with him, only realizes by then, that he has a gauze pad taped to the base of the right side of his neck.  “Was that- was that because of me?” Haerin asks, pointing at it.

Kyungsoo follows her finger and feels the gauze pad on his neck.  “Oh, this? Nah, wasn’t you,”

Haerin raises an eyebrow while she gives him an are-you-joking-with-me look.

Kyungsoo lets out a laugh and shrugs.  “I was careless, that’s all, got it sewn back, so don’t worry,”

Haerin’s expression hardens by then and Kyungsoo frowns at the sudden change.

“I d-didn’t ask for your help, you know,”