Haerin watches the boys with a motherly smile in the arcade.  Her cheeks had been hurting so much from laughing and now, she couldn’t even stop smiling at them.  They were just such boys.  She kept imagining what they’re going to be in the future.  What they’re gonna do, who they’re going to meet, how they’re going to look like in suits- well, that, for one, would be a sight to see.

“Hey, guys,” She starts as they went out to grab some drinks on the way home.  “What do you want to do in the future?”

“Girls,” Baekhyun sighs.

Haerin and the rest freezes at what he just said.  “Was that…” Haerin suppresses a smile threatening to form on her face.

“That was,” Kai gives her a high-five, being the first to understand what she’s hinting at.  Gosh, she was really getting used to hanging out with boys, she can’t help but think the way they think.

“Ah,” Chanyeol snaps his fingers and the rest follows him in exchanging high-fives with Haerin.  “She’s got it.  As expected, our Haerin-noona,”

They burst out laughing when Baekhyun finally realizes that he just stated a ual innuendo through what he said.  “No! No!” He claps his hand as he laughs.  “That’s not what I meant! I meant ‘girls’ as in ‘why do girls manage to ask you such things?’ seriously!”

“Okay, okay,” Haerin calms down, although still snickering.  “Okay, so?”

“I want to be a singer,” Baekhyun shrugs.

“To think about it, I’ve never heard you sing,” Haerin points out.

“Then we go to karaoke tomorrow,” He reaches out for a handshake and laughs when Haerin takes it as if sealing a deal.

“I still don’t know,” Sehun raises his hand easily and Haerin slaps the back of his head for his ignorance.

“For me, businessman,” Suho goes next.  At that, the whole group erupts in an impressed ‘ooh’.

“Musician,” Chanyeol raises his hand like Sehun did.  “I’m pretty good with instruments,”

“Oh, that’s right, that’s right,” Baekhyun points at him.  “Piano, guitar, he’s good with chords,”

Haerin nods in apprehension.  It’s nice to know they’re up to doing what they like to do.  “And you, Jongin?” She turns her head towards Kai, who didn’t volunteer to answer.  “I bet you’d be a danc-“

“A doctor,”

As Haerin had unconsciously frowned at his answer, Kai had to poke her forehead with his finger.  “Is it that weird if I become a doctor?” He chuckles.

“What- n-no, that’s not-“ Haerin frowns again as she pushes his finger away.  She turns towards the other and raises her eyebrows in question.  They all glance at Kai and at each other before deciding to shrug.  What in the world..? She glares at them to let them know that she knows they’re hiding something before crossing her arms and turning back to face Kai.  “Do you have the grades to be a doctor, though, Kim Jongin?” She teases.

“I am insulted!” Kai gasps exaggeratedly.  “I have never gone below 85 in my whole entire life as a student!”

“Except for that one time..” Sehun mutters quietly.

“Hey!” Kai lifts a foot to kick him from afar.  “That’s history.  Who’d care about history? Do doctors need history? No! They don’t! So don’t bring it up!”

Laughing, the others start teasing him about being a nerd.

“When it’s the weekends, all he does is read his books, noona, for real,” Chanyeol says.

“He has this reading glasses because he’s already near-sighted,” Baekhyun points at his eyes.

“Wow, I didn’t know you’re such a studious honour student,” Haerin bursts out laughing at the look Kai throws her way.  “Okay, okay, sorry,”

A bus hisses at the stop in front of them and she quickly throws her drink into the trash can.  “That’s me!” She rushes over to the vehicle.  “Jongin, you coming?”

“Ah, yeah!” The younger boy follows Haerin’s example and jumps on to catch the ride.  

Sehun calls out before the bus could drive away.  “But, noona! You haven’t told us what you want to be!”

Grinning, Haerin answers through the window.  “I wanna be what Jongin wants to be!”

***

“What was that about?” Haerin looks at Kai in the bus.

“What was what about?”

She rolls her eyes at the way Kai pretends to be interested in the view outside of the bus, completely avoiding her eyes when she throws the question on the table.  Her arms come to cross by her chest and she looks the other way as well.  “Whatever,” Sulking because Kai isn’t telling her anything might be childish, but hey, she can be childish when she wants to.  She’s purposefully making the atmosphere awkward so she can push Kai to talking to her about it.  It somehow rubs her the wrong way that he’s not leaning on her as how she is to him.  He’s not balancing it out.  It’s making him use up all his energy on her to hold her up.

Kai notices the way Haerin glowers at the other side of the bus with her arms crossed.  He runs a frustrated hand through his hair.  She’s giving him the silent treatment because he’s hiding things from her, that, he can completely see.  “Are you- are you mad?” He quietly asks.

Haerin purposefully turns further the other way to prove her point.

Kai sighs at her behaviour.  “I’m sorry, it’s just not something I like talking about,”

It’s at times like these that Haerin hates herself for being such a softie.  The moment Kai explains how he doesn’t like talking about it, she’s already giving up her silent treatment, because she completely understands what it feels like to want to hide things from others, despite their persistence in wanting you to tell them about it and talk to them about it.  It just feels more secure to keep things to yourself rather than have people know about it.  “Ugh, forget it,” She fixes her sitting position begrudgingly.

“I’m sorry,” Kai apologizes again.

Haerin glares at him and sighs loudly as she decides to let it pass.  “Do you really wear glasses because you’re near-sighted?” She can’t help but smile at the way Kai completely brightens up when she changes the topic.

“Yeah,” Kai nods.  “I started reading from when I was really young, so I got near-sighted really fast because I was reading them this close,” He puts his palms to his face.

“No way!” Haerin laughs.  “For real?”

“Yeah,” Kai’s shoulders shook as he chuckles. 

“Do you wear the glasses at school, too?”

“Only in classes and in the library,” He scrunches his nose.  “I, uhh, look really weird in them so I avoid using them too much,”

“Do you have them now?” She points at his bag and looks up when the bus stops.  Glancing at the sign on the dashboard, she stands up.  “Wait, this is us, let’s get off,”

As they jump off of the bus, Kai then nods at her question.  “I do,” He rummages in his bag and takes out a black box to show her.  “I have it at all times,”

The two make their way into Haerin’s apartment complex and takes the lift to her floor.

“Try wearing them,” Haerin pulls out her phone and turns her camera on.

Kai draws back in surprise, eyeing the phone angled at his face.  “What for?”

“Ah, just hurry and put them on!”

“Why should I??”

Haerin glares at him and Kai fumbles with his box.  “Okay, okay, sorry, sorry, I’ll put it on,”

The moment he puts them on and looks at her, Haerin had to do a double-take.  She stops in her tracks when she gets off of the elevator and blinks at him in surprise.  “What the heck?” She locks her phone screen as she grumbles and tucks it back into her bag.  

Kai’s eyes widen in surprise at her actions.  “Wh-what’s wrong?”

“When you said you don’t look good in them, I was determined to take a picture of you with it,” She explains and keeps her eyes on his face to get a better look at him.  “But you call that ‘weird’ and I’m pretty sure your prescriptions are wrong,”

“Why?” Kai takes out his phone and to look at himself in the reflection.

Haerin stops himself from doing so and shakes her head.  She shakes her fingers in a come-hither motion at him and puts her hand by to whisper at his ear when he leans down to her height.  “Because you become a super hot, y doctor wannabe with those glasses,”

When Kai pulls away, Haerin bites her bottom lip provocatively and he bursts out laughing when she winks at him.  “Do I, really?” He asks, flipping his hair to the side.

“Yeah,” Haerin fans herself in a playful manner.  “Whoo, boy, you should take that off now,”

Kai decides to play along and tugs at his uniform tie, loosening it down.  “Take what off, exactly?”

Haerin shrieks and runs away from him.  “Eww, Jongin, no!”

He comes after her down the corridor, laughing when she tries to close her apartment door on his face.  “Come here, you,” He pushes down the handle and quickly grabs her by the waist before she could run away when he makes his way inside.

The older girl squeals in surprise amidst all her laughter.  “Put me down! Put me down!”

“I’m the y doctor you called for, Ms. Son,” He sets her down and blows into her ear.  “I’m here to help you with your problems,”

Haerin couldn’t stop giggling as she draws up her shoulder at the ticklish sensation, struggling to pry his arms away from around her waist.  “Down, Jongin, down,” She commands.

Kai flips her around so that she’s facing him now, and he’s taken by surprise when Haerin drapes her arms around his neck.  He could feel her breath on his face as she speaks.  “Can’t a patient help a doctor with his problems instead?”

Kai looks down into her eyes.  Although he knows exactly what she’s talking about, he decides to pretend not to.  “Ms. Son likes going commando?”

The smile on Haerin’s face disappears and their sudden intimacy hums in the air like electricity.  The times when she had kissed him and the times when he had kissed her flashes at the back of her head, causing her eyes to flicker towards his plump lips.  She remembers clearly how soft they were, and how they would move in synch with hers when they kissed as if they were made for each other.  Her hands gently take his glasses off before returning to drape lazily around his neck.

Kai notices the small gesture and finds himself wetting his lips and leaning forward in response.  He closes his eyes, but then stops to let out a shaky breath.  He presses his forehead on hers instead and pushes down his manly urges, stopping himself before he could no longer do so.  “What are we, Haerin?” He asks out of the blue.

Haerin closes her eyes as well, unable to take Kai’s unanticipated vulnerability as she frowns in regret.  What is she doing? She was getting way too comfortable with Kai.  She might have realised it at the start, but now that she thinks about it, she’s kind of pushing it, isn’t she? She hadn’t been thinking about him.  She was being so self-centered.  She was putting her emotions over his.  This isn’t right.  “We’re..” She starts uncertainly, and then quickly fixes her sentence.  “I’m…using you,”

Her eyes crack open to see how he would react and there he was, clearly showing his pain through his expression.  Damn it, she shouldn’t have opened her eyes.  She shouldn’t have seen that.  Tightly shutting them again, Haerin starts pulling away.  “I’m sorry,” How did things turn out this way? “I’m sorry, Kai, please, I-I wasn’t-“

Her eyes snap open in surprise when he kisses her.  She untangles her arms and moves her hands towards his chest to push him away.  “Kai- no- wha-“

“Don’t call me that,” He leans in again to aggressively capture her lips.  “Don’t call me Kai,” He angrily pulls her closer by the waist, all the while pushing her back onto a wall.  He savours the feeling of her lips on her as he kisses her, hands on either side of her head.  He hated how he couldn’t stop himself and he hated how she was so powerless in front of him.  They—no, she—was so close, she was just there, she’s always there, but she just couldn’t be his.  He hated that.  But he wanted to stay by her side.  He doesn’t want to see her cry or get hurt.  And the only way to do that, is by letting himself get hurt by the vagueness of their relationship.  It isn’t her fault.  He was the one who had decided to go with it since the beginning.  He shouldn’t blame her for it.  Finally, he stops his kisses and drops his head onto her shoulder, breathing heavily.  

“Don’t just suddenly distance yourself like that, Haerin,” He clicks his tongue in irritation.  “Don’t just- don’t- don’t scare me like that.  You apologise and then you call me Kai.  You make me think that you’re going away,”

Haerin frowns at his words.  It was the first time she had seen him so helpless, so scared.  “Hey, what’s wrong?” She tries to take his face away from her shoulder so she could look at him, but he resisted.  “Jongin, hey, what is it?”

“Why is it that-“ Kai had to swallow the lump in his throat before he could continue.  “Why is it that you notice the small things?” He asks.  “Nobody does that.  Ever.  Not even Kyungsoo-hyung.  Nobody pays attention to me.  But why do you do that? How can you know that I think so little of myself when I don’t even realise it? Why do you praise me and thank me so much and so easily after I do even the littlest things? And the way you say my name; why does it make me sound like I’m so precious to you? Why is that, Haerin?” He finally lifts his head and the look on his face made Haerin crumble.  “Can’t you tell me why?”

Haerin couldn’t understand why this boy in front of her had broken down into bits out of nowhere, all of a sudden.  She thought she was the fragile one, but heck, it crushed her to see Kai this way.  Somehow, he reminded her of herself.  The way she was so unaccustomed to attention.  When someone actually bothers to give her even the least bit of it; it was too much.  But she wasn’t giving Kai just a little bit of her attention, was she?  Most of her days, most of her thoughts, they were all about him.  She had found herself paying attention to him more than she had ever did.  That time when she would look to him for comfort is slowly getting replaced by something else.  Something else she’d like to call her feelings.  She takes his face in her hands and lets out a question.  “What if I say it’s because you’re doing it?”

“Doing what?”

“You’re making me fall for you,”