“MinSeok-hyung! Get ready! Manager-hyung says we're about to go onstage in a few minutes.”

I could hear JoonMyun's voice come from outside the waiting room. Here I am lying half-asleep on the couch, holed up alone while the rest of my bandmates watch and marvel at the rest of the show.

Why can't I just be happy and contented with my life now like the rest of them? Why can't I find it in myself to feel the rush of accomplishment? I did achieve my dream, didn't I?

The questions rolled and scattered themselves all over my brain.

You did achieve your dream, Kim MinSeok.

I could hear myself answer my own questions in my head.

But this kind of life wasn't part of the pretty picture you painted up yourself when you've decided to chase after stardom and fame.

I shook this mental argument away, willing it to hide itself back in the deepest pits of my mind where nobody else could ever fathom.

For now, Kim MinSeok would have to disappear into the dark again . . .

. . . Because Xiumin would have to take over.

As I pushed my body to move according to the program I had installed in it, I stood up and moved towards the dresser. Watching my reflection across me, I checked my visage for any faults visible to the eye. None. Well, that's good. Less problems to be fixed. I stood still, just blankly watching the man that stood in front of me – he sure was handsome, bringing that cool, unmoving aura of a performer.

I can't help but smirk to myself sarcastically.

Would you look at that, hm EXO's Xiumin? Your best and worst asset – that pretty face. It was what brought you here, to this world you wanted so badly to get into. What can you even brag about but this?

I let my fingers ghost over my styled hair down to my jaw, watching each feature with conflicted feelings – both of disgust and appreciation.

It's like a sword with no handle but blades at both ends. A weapon to defend yourself with and at the same time also a weapon to destroy yourself.

Before I started walking out of the room to join the rest of my bandmates, I gave myself a last look in the mirror before casting the same, usual spell I had in handy to make sure I'd never lose this spot I gave up so much for.

Xiumin . . . It's Showtime.

-

After the performance, the group was taken to a company dinner – a celebratory meal after the big show.

“Xiumin-hyung, you okay? You seem quite...dazed.”

BaekHyun's words snapped me out of my trance. I pulled off a smile, reassuring enough to feed his curiosity. “I'm fine Baek. It's just...I don't feel quite good. You know, stress and all.” He nodded, taking in the pill of lie I fed him.

Same old, same old excuses. If you guys were really smart enough, then you'd know what's up with me. Whether I'm fine or not. Whether I'm really the person you think I am or not.

I shrugged him off before downing another glass of beer.

“Boys, boys. Since the comeback's coming soon, I'll expect twice, thrice or four times more of the effort and energy. But before that, since all of you have been doing quite superb recently – with all the awards and records – I'll be generous this year. I'll be rewarding you boys.”

I looked up at the CEO as he chuckled, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes growing more as he aged. Whatever this supposedly 'reward' he's blabbering about is surely gonna come back at us for a price. I reacted similarly with the rest, face full with excitement and accomplishment.

He didn't last long in this business for nothing after all. He’s no one else but Lee SooMan, the notorious money-making CEO of the Entertainment Industry. For sure, he'd be make us work our asses off again.

-

“Hyung, aren't you gonna come home to your family? You know, a month's worth of vacation is a rare opportunity, most especially when it's the President who says it himself.”

The maknae inquired as he fixed his cap and adjusted his shades on before heading out.

“Sehun, I need some time to myself for this one whole month. I mean, no offense to the old folks, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind me not coming home.”

I gently tapped him on the shoulder before heading towards the door. , carrying my luggage with me

“See you in a month Xiumin-hyung.”

I nodded back to the maknae before I exited the dorm.

That's right. One long month. It's good enough, I guess. I might not be able to really experience freedom but still, getting even just a taste of it would do.

-

Right now, I was headed to the mall. I've got more than enough money I could possibly need for a month's vacation. Heck, maybe what I have in my wallet now would get me through a year even. I thought smugly as I ducked my way into the mall, making sure the eyeglasses and scarf I wore hid my identity well enough to avoid any unwanted mess.

Taking a shopping cart, I wasted no time and ran over the aisles, picking up everything I would need and want along the way.

When I fill in the line, I boosted up my own confidence, hoping that as I wait for my turn to have all the stuff punched down and put in bags, no one would ever recognize me. Luckily, I managed to slip past the c