The instant I arrived in my room, the shut the door and threw myself on the bed.

What now? What now, Xiumin?

I had her close. But not yet close enough.

You wanted to know her more, did you, huh Kim MinSeok?

I questioned myself, searching for the other voice I had lost.

But then again, he is lost.

And I don't think I can ever find him back again. Not while I'm like this anyways. Not until I find back who I was, why I had wanted to be who I am now in the first place.

I wanted to rest. I wanted to escape. I wanted to be free.

That's what I originally came for. To rest. To escape. To be free. Kim MinSeok, why won't you come back and fight for yourself? You're letting Xiumin get away with all of this. Surely, you can't let this go on forever, right?

I closed my eyes, willing the flashbacks – Kim MinSeok's memories – to at least come back to me.

Slowly, I drifted off, away from consciousness and back to oblivion.

Holding onto a microphone.

Standing on a stage.

Speakers bellowing a familiar tune.

Being unable to let out my voice.

Faces judging and mocking shamelessly.

“Next contestant, please.”

My vision blurring out.

“MinSeok-ah, you have to do better! You wanted to be an idol, right?”

But I did my best.

Isn't it enough yet?

“You have to reach your dreams, make us all rich and pay all of our debts!”

I wanted this dream for myself, Mom.

Not for you and Dad.

Not for making us rich.

Not for paying our debts.

I wanted to reach this dream for myself.

“I'm sorry Contestant No. 1, but you're unable to compete to the finals.”

“I'm sorry Contestant No. 3, but we required an average of 85%. You only got 84.95%.”

“I'm sorry Contestant No. 26, but the auditions are held for great talent. Sadly, you lack just that 'great' factor.”

“I'm sorry Contestant No. 90, but you're not just the one we're looking for.”

But I still wanted to go on.

I still wanted to dream.

I still wanted to do something . . . for myself.

“Congratulations Contestant No. 12 for winning the contest. Mr. Lee was very well impressed.

Is this it? The beginning of fulfilling my dreams?

“But I'll ha