L.Joe's POV

"So you really can't attend my Detective And Governor's Daughter premiere?", Niel sighed and put on his coat. Ready for his final rehearsal.
I shook my head; "I should go to the doctor"
Niel took my hands out of my sleeves. They were still so cold. My condition wasn't improved after my stupid cold water accident. Today I decided to take another blood transfusion.
"Will you be alright? could you take the stairs down?", Niel asked me while casually put his things into his bag.
"Of course I could take the stairs! I'm not that weak!", I jumped out of the bed just to experience intense headache. Like all my blood drained away from my brain. Byunghun, stay on your position, don't fall down...

"And don't do weird things like open the cab's window on your way there...", said Niel, put his bag on his shoulders.
"I won't", I put on a big smile.
"Alright, laundry this sweater once you finished with it", Niel playfully pinched his knitted cream turtleneck that I wore today.
"I will! see you...", I said as he walked toward the living room.
"Make sure you're better when I get home. See you, hyung", Niel smiled as he closed the door.

I coughed hard once Niel left the room. I dropped myself on the floor, tried to get a grip. I crawled back to the bed and covered myself in blanket. I called the receptionist to stop one cab and I took a long journey to the Korea University Hospital in my hometown, Ansan. I'll meet Lee Sunho-seonsaengnim there. My mom called me yesterday and finally found out about my condition, she was so panic because today she has a business trip to Europe. She was about to cancel it but I told her that she couldn't just abandon her professional life like that, she had her company life on her shoulder. Niel also insisted to take me to the hospital today, skipped his final rehearsal just to make sure I'm alright... Sometimes people's kindness hurts, I hate myself to make others sacrifice their time for me. But above all, I hate the feeling of being pitied.

"Byunghun-ah", a tender voice called me. I opened my eyes slowly. It was Lee Sunho-seonsaengnim. I lift my right hand and saw that IV line hanging from it. I saw the clock and it was already 2PM. I was lying on this bed for almost 5 hours already??
"How do you feel?", asked Lee Sunho-seonsaengnim.
"Did I get my blood transfusion?", I asked.
"Yeah. You had it hours ago, but you fainted not long after", he said.
"What...? how could I...", I focused my sight. My headache was gone but my body was still tired and why is it so cold?.
"I think it was the flu. Your respiratory condition made it worse. I already gave you another prescription to treat it right", he smiled.
"Is it the flu...?", I whispered.
"Your condition makes you prone to other diseases, Byunghun-ah...", stated Lee Sunho-seonsaengnim.

"I know... but... isn't my temperature dropped? even now, I'm shivering", I said.
"It's the chill... your body is fighting the cold", he said.
"Seonsaengnim... Please don't lie to make it sounds better... what happened to me, really? why did I faint right after my blood transfusion? why am I shivering now???", I blurted out, gasping for air.
Lee Sunho-seonsaengnim looked at the nurses and signaled them to leave us alone. I didn't like what I saw... he approached me and my hair like a father.
"Byunghun-ah... we know that your disease is one in the million. We're not really sure what happened, but it seemed like your blood cells mutating their shapes for unknown reason, killed the other healthy blood cells and it weakened your immune system. It's no longer a simple dysfunctional red blood cells making anymore...", he explained hesitantly. I just looked at him. Everything made sense now... that's why I got so tired in summer.

"What then... am I gonna die soon?", I asked. Gave us a long moment of silence.
"We still don't have any concrete evidence just yet...", he said, still tried to keep my hope high.
"Am I gonna die soon?", I trembled in tears. Lee Sunho-seonsaengnim sighed and looked deeply into my eyes.
"You will live, Byunghun-ah...", he held my hands and offered me a hug. I drown myself on to him and sniveled.
"Sometimes it's so hard....", I muttered, I bite my own lips to calmed myself down.
"You're strong, kid. I always believe in you", he said.
"I thought I'm strong but I... I...", I tried to say something but only tears that came out.

"I won't let you die, not under my care, no...", he wiped the tears out of my eyes and squeezed my shoulder.
"Look how far you had come, you're just a small junior high student when I met you for the first time. Now you're a man", he smiled.
"I'm a small man, though", I said.
"Hahaha... yah, Byunghun-ah... don't let this disease defeat you, okay? we'll fight this together", Lee Sunho-seonsaengnim smiled at me once again. He's always been like a father to me. My biological father live in the US with my brother, so he rarely went home.

"Seonsaengnim... I'm scared", I wiped my tears that still left.
"It's normal to feel scared", he my head to reassure myself.
"But I haven't done anything in my life", I bitterly smiled.
"Like..?"
"Like be with someone and travel the world?", I replied unsurely.
Lee Sunho-seonsaengnim chuckled; "Do you have someone you like, Byunghun-ah?", he asked.
"U-uh, there's someone...", I stupidly grin.
"Is she beautiful?", asked him again.
"YES! he, I mean, she's beautiful... the most beautiful hydrangea in the world", I said.
"What?? hahahaha", he laughed at me. I then regret my description, I tend to say something weird at conversations like this.

"I mean, she's like hydrangeas in rainy weather, she colored my grey days", I corrected my previous statement.
"Seems you really like this person... did she know your feelings?", he asked with mischievous curiosity.
"N-no... It's... it's difficult", I said.
"Ah, it must be hard for you", he said.
"Yeah, but, I feel like I can live a thousand years every time I met her", I smiled.
"You should and live a thousand years then. Live for her, for me, for your mother", he tapped my shoulder and stood up.
I nodded and gave my best smile. May I live, win this battle and let Niel know that I love him?

After spending another hour at the hospital, Lee Sunho-seonsaengnim let me went home. He gave me another set of medicine to support my immune system. I sighed at the amount of pills I should take day-to-day now. I feel like a crackhead.

My mobile suddenly vibrated. I struggled to reach my back pocket since I'm sitting in a cab now. I looked at the monitor and it was from Chanyeol-hyung.
"Byunghun-aah...", he called my name with his charming voice.
"Hyung, what is it? why did you call me? I smelled something unlucky is coming...", I said jokingly.
"Yah, where are you? could you come to the office? I have something for you", said Chanyeol-hyung.
"What is it? December article? no, hyung, you know I don't work in cold months", I said.
"It's an easy work, you're gonna love it", he kept persuading.
"Umm what is it", I couldn't help but ask.
"Just come first... we need a movie review, you can review anything you like", he said.
"Eh? really??", I gasped.
"Yes! come here, okay? I'll leave exactly 6 PM, I have a date tonight", he chuckled.
"But I..."
"Alright, I'll see you in the office then~!", he hung up before I agreed on anything.

I wondered to the street. Should I take this? My condition deteriorates quite badly... I couldn't go out as much as before... but... writing a movie review... ah, I should just do things I really love now, otherwise I'd live an empty life.
"Ahjussi, could we turn over there? I need to go somewhere else", I asked the