When the stage raised and Kim Sung Gyu appeared in all black, his slender long fingers on a grand piano, I couldn’t figure out what was possible and what was not. There were the moments where I would feel at lost, be dazed and feel as though I had moved into a completely different dimension, as though I wasn’t in the realm anymore; generally I had had this experience when I was around Myung Soo, when he would come dressed in black or sing playing his guitar or when he walked out of the shower or rain, therefore when I had the same feeling seeing Kim Sung Gyu on the stage looking gorgeous and being in the spot where my hero should be, I was confused, I was in a dilemma, I couldn’t decipher what’s possible from impossible.

It was when he began to sing that things turned from bad to worse. It was like I was taken under some kind of a strange trance, that moment, for I couldn’t see, hear nor feel anything or anyone but him.  Everything disappeared from their sheer existence around me, dissolving silently into the thin air until he was all who could reach my senses, until he began to glow in my eyes, until his voice reverberated in my ears, and from somewhere of my deepest depths of dreams, I could feel the significant scent of his; of apples and spring. His voice was the most beautiful, most remarkable that I have ever come across in my life; and no, it wasn’t because he was drop-dead gorgeous tonight or because I came to learn that he was a legend, no, his voice did deserve more than praising, beautiful was simply an understatement; it was unbelievable. How he can belt long chords and give us the same feeling, his ability to bring us into the element as him was beyond belief. I was in awe, I was in a daze; I was trapped in a reverie I could never escape. I wasn’t certain though, whether I had fallen in love, however one thing was certain; if I was to see him this way once more, I sure would.

Sung Gyu’s legendary performance took fifteen minutes of the event, he sang four songs, and for me it was a fifteen minutes long dream seeing wide awake. He had his own group by the name of ‘Beat’, however, since two of his band members were abroad at that time they were replaced by another two; who were mysteriously under cover. I didn’t care for the band members though, they didn’t interest me as long as they played well, whether this was because I was too immersed in Sung Gyu, I wasn’t sure, But I was certainly, without a doubt drooling endlessly on whom I had known ever since we met as a walking-talking catastrophe.

Was it even possible?

Was him being such a pleasant surprise, pleasant beyond belief, was it possible? I would never know; since we were to always expect the unexpected.

When he finally left the stage then, my heart was in pain, it hadn’t wanted it to end. But when he was out of my sight, I found myself wondering, how could he be a legend of Underground? He didn’t even seem like it at all, he didn’t even seem of the type to be a part of underground, how could he be a legend?

I thought of people, and all the surprises they seem to be hiding underneath, concealed from our eyes. They were like riddles, only if solved we would know the mystery. By hook or by crook, Kim Sung gyu turned out to be a mystery that I needed to solve.

Nam Woo Hyun performed to performances later after the recess, and surprisingly, I wasn’t surprised, as though I was all along expecting him to be brilliant, which indeed he was; he was remarkable. Unlike being high-pitched like Sung Gyu’s Woohyun had strong vocals, it fit perfectly well to ballads and the kind of soft pop he had chosen to perform; it brought out his greasy, heartening charms very well. I was in awe during his performance too, wondering why I hadn’t seen him on stage before because he was really catchy, I was drawn to him almost instantly, and his voice could never go unheard. His style was simple and bubbly, and I thought of how he called me ‘Piggy’; he was Nam Woohyun indeed; I couldn’t help but giggle when he ended the performance with a big heart and a loud ‘I love you’, as expected, He was pretty charming, really, but wasn’t at all helping to keep my mind off Kim Sung Gyu. No matter how hard I try to concentrate on other matters, I would always go in circles and end up thinking of him. Eventually I wanted to hit my head on a wall and die.

Making it worse, after the concert Howon wanted me to join his buddies for a drink and catch dinner; I reluctantly agreed. And he was there, Kim Sung Gyu.

I tried my best to not to think too much, convincing my self million times that this was the Kim Sung Gyu whom I met many times, who deliberately put me into trouble everytime I did, but to no avail, he was still in the cloths from the performance at that time, the make up still wasn’t washed off; so instead of thinking of the time when he showered me with sticky pads or when he spilled all over me warm green tea latte, I was staring down at how pink, soft and lovely his lips were and the shape of his eyes; they were of the shape of almonds, out lined in black, and every time he blinked, his eye lashes would brush on the porcelain skin of his cheeks, they were so long…and when he smiled…

“Jung Eunji-Ssi?” Said a voice a little too loud for my ears to bear that I immediately jumped out of my trance.

“Oh…?”

It was Kim Sung Gyu and I felt like dying. “You came? I didn’t think you would”

“I-I,” Don’t stutter, please don’t stutter-

His breezy scent of apples and the smooth flow of his words along with the rosiness of his lips were not doing any good at all. If it wasn’t for Nam Woo Hyun who involuntarily came in for rescue, I would have melted into a puddle and died in utter embarrassment. I really didn’t know what has gotten into me though, was I really that so attracted?

“Piggy, my piggy!!!” Woohyun chimed before he pulled me into a bone crushing hug. Although he was pleasant and charming in my eyes, I wasn’t really fond of his hugging though. Myung Soo was a big huggy teddy too, in that case, given that he was the clingiest person I had ever known (He would hug me out of nowhere) but he and I have known each other for so long; Woohyun hugging me wasn’t really making me happy.

“Cut it, Nam Woohyun” I said, wriggling my way off his grasp. He hadn’t changed his outfit too, which he didn’t wear prior to the performance, he too wore make up still it hadn’t done much difference as much as to Sung Gyu, he was, nonetheless, very good looking.

We were just outside the subway station which they used as the performance venue and so were we the last to leave the premises since Sung Gyu got held up since he had a whole set of fans lined up to greet; watching it from a far, I realized, he was indeed famous, especially among the girls. I had a strange tad bit of envy since they had had all the opportunities to be his fan while I never was, but then again, I couldn’t care less, for no matter what, he would always be the next person to cause my near death in a careless accident of some sort, and that really wasn’t anything to be happy about. Sung Gyu took too long with his fans that it irritated me; I wasn’t very fond of waiting, you see; it would always get on my nerves although I was the last one to be punctual myself. Maybe it was selfish; however, it was the reason why I rejected being invited for dinner the first place, followed by the reason of not wanting to see Kim Sung Gyu in this state once more.

I was afraid to be even more attracted, yet, seeing him up close, things weren’t really going according to my liking at all. For a moment, I wanted to be in the ordinary crowd and swoon all I wanted since it wouldn’t give any unnecessary impressions, for now, the attention I gave him, though unintentionally seemed all the more irrelevant.

Sung Gyu had come by his car, so had the twins therefore we all squeezed in to go to wherever they were planning to head off to. Hoya and Dongwoo went with the twins, claiming that he had things to talk about, leaving me with Nam Woohyun and yet again, Kim Sung Gyu. I wondered how cruel my fate was to me.

“Don’t worry” He said when opening the door for me, as would a real gentleman, after seeing the distraught on my face. “I’m a careful driver”

I was confused as to why he was telling me all this, a little later, I realized, he was referring to all the trouble he had caused; I had momentarily, yet sadly had forgotten that he had that side of himself.

Throughout the ride, I tried my best to maintain my silence as well as my self-consciousness because it was making me so uncomfortable to ride in the same vehicle as two men I barely knew. The two seemed to be best of friends, chattering away at their hearts’ felt and occasionally would drag me into the conversation where I’d reply with a smile or a brief response; Sung Gyu wanted to know why I was silent given that I screamed and talked most of the time ever since he got to know me; I only smiled in retort; I didn’t have the guts to say that I was too distracted by what happened to turn out from Kim Sung Gyu.

A moment later we arrived at a road side eatery, and the guys picked two tables from a corner, set them to one line and ordered Soju and beer. I decided to stay away from taking any,  since I was the worse at handling liquor; the next thing I wanted to do was clinging onto Howon, singing songs from the sixties and make myself an utter embarrassment; water did just fine to me.

It was strange for me to be sitting among a pack of boys being the only girl in the clam; I felt isolated, although they involved me in the conversations as much as they could.

At one point, Nam Woohyun wrapped a piece of beef and stuffed it in my mouth out of nowhere, sitting back, seeming satisfied of himself. I wanted to know why he did that.

“You’re too silent, why?” He asked.

I continued to chew in silence.

“I think she feels disoriented with all the guy talk” Said Sung Gyu, looking gravely at me. I felt my cheeks warming up, since I looked like a stuffed pig, munching on with my cheeks full in the eyes of this…impeccable specimen of human beings, yet he didn’t seem to mind at all. He turned to the rest as though to ask opinions.

“Aigoo, Eunji-ah…” Howon said shaking his head. “You aren’t even drinking! Drink up, I’ll drop you off”

I shook my head before swallowing hard. “Nope. I’m good…”

He laughed. “Our Eunji…she can’t handle liquor…She starts singing gibberish after just one bottle!”

“Yah!” I screamed, turning red. Was this seriously his way of involving me in their conversations?

“Say, Eunji-Ssi” Woohyun said, after a while, pouring himself a glass of Soju. “Are you and Hoya going out?”

There was a definite silence among us for a while, I tried not to choke before laughing. “What-what made you think like that?”

“You two are very close” Woohyun replied, and I noticed, Sung Gyu was watching me with intense eyes, and my breathing almost ridged and halted in the middle.

“We’re just best of friends…” I said with a smile. “Really”

“We tried” Howon said, then, all of a sudden, and I wanted to bury myself the very instant; yet, seeing how grave he looked, I let him carry on without screaming in interruption. “Once, back in high-school…but eventually we both realized, it’s a lot better this way”

Woohyun nodded, his usual playfulness had left his eyes, filled with concern now, and understanding. “True…Howon, it’s always about the right person, and the right timing”

I pursed my lips, my thoughts going back to Myung Soo.

“Do what which feels right, to the both of you….”

The atmosphere became thick, suddenly, and awkward. I noticed how Sung Gyu didn’t utter a word, and to top that he had lowered his head, concentrating on the glass below as though his life depended on it. I noticed something eccentric at that time, something implausible and strange was revolving around him which I couldn’t exactly grasp; it took a moment to realize that he, in fact, seemed down and defeated.

It was Dong Woo, as always who brightened up the mood.

“What with the long faces!” He exclaimed, followed by his boisterous laughter. “Come on! Sung Gyu hyung just did an Underground comeback! We should be celebrating, eh?”

It took us a moment to return to our posture, and when we had, we all poured ourselves a glass (Including myself) and cheered for Kim Sung Gyu. I eyed him carefully, not to get carried away by his exquisite looks, only to make sure his defeated façade had disappeared. It worried me, strangely, as though I only wanted to see him smiling and cheery; I was someone who disliked seeing people down and crying; I hardly ever cried myself, so owing to this reason, I tried my best to cheer up whoever who seemed down, and cheer up myself with whatever the possible way when I’m distraught. My father said it was a good trait in me; and I too found myself wondering if others too, appreciated me for this side of myself.

After we had downed the first glass, Howon leaned over casually and asked; “So, Sung Gyu hyung…how come we never knew we had a resident legend among us?”

Sung Gyu, I figured, had such humble, sincere mannerisms; when he smiled shyly and eyed us with gleaming, appreciative eyes, I wouldn’t deny that my heart skipped a beat at how genuine he was.

“Well…I was abroad for two years…I couldn’t attend Underground all that time” He said, with a smile; and strangely something poked on my snail brain at that time, as though I was receiving more clues to the mystery; in the end, I decided to just take it as granted.

“Really?” Howon asked, urging him to continue.

“Well, yeah…I had to go to the states…to complete my masters…I joined underground a while ago”

“A while?” Woohyun asked, amused. “Aigoo, hyung, don’t be so modest! Guys” He turned to us as though he was making a grand announcement. “Hyung joined Underground the year it began, he was only fifteen!”

My eyes almost popped out of my sockets. “Fifteen? Wah! That’s Daebak!”

He smiled shyly and hit Woohyun lightly on his head. “It’s nothing, really…he’s exaggerating”

Woohyun rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what to do with you, Hyung”

“How old are you now, again, Sung Gyu Ssi?” The oldest of the twins asked.

“I’m twenty five, this month”

“Ten years…” I whispered, not realizing what I was actually doing. “You’ve been doing Underground for ten years?!?!”

He scratched the bridge of his nose awkwardly. “No…well, I was gone for two years?”

“But that doesn’t make you any less talented!” I said in return. “Wah, after all the silly things you did to me, you really are Daebak”

I noticed how his ears turned red, and was surprised how much f a modest guy he truly was. People are surprising, really. One moment he would be the tough rocker sending the pit out of their minds, the next he would be this really shy kid, cowering away. Sung Gyu was…interesting; the more I knew him, the more I wished to know.

“So why did they plan the stage all of a sudden for you?” Howon asked, pouring for me another glass. I didn’t accept it though, I simply shook my head and refused, not wanting to ruin the night.

“I…might be held up during the last week this month” He explained, urgently. “They asked me to do a special stage since I’m back, and I asked if we can do something to have it a little earlier”

“Oh…” Howon nodded away. “So what holds you up the final week? Wedding bells?”

This kind of hit me painfully on my heart for some strange, strange reason that I didn’t want to think about; I held my face straight though, and watched him as he laughed awkwardly in retort.

“Oh, there’s nothing of the sort…I’m…starting to work from this month”

“Ah…so that is the case”

“Yeah” He muttered and scratched the bridge of his nose once more. “So, I can’t make it sure if I’d perform for a long time”

This broke my heart, really, for a reason unknown. Maybe I was too attracted to his stage persona, maybe I wanted to see and hear him sing again; whatever the case was, for the time being, I decided to take all these strange thoughts as granted.

I didn’t get drunk that night, for my utter contentment and was totally unimpressed when Howon announced that he couldn’t drop me off since he and Dong Woo were heading off to the twins’ place. He left with a little apologetic smile and a tousle on my hair; I didn’t reply though; I was so upset that I told him that I’d never help him with anything to do with the resident princess. It was for my luck that he didn’t punch me in response.

Since it was late and was all about to rain, Sung Gyu, yet again offered to give me a ride home. I didn’t want to go with him, really; sitting in his car, trying not to breathe in his breezy scent of apples didn’t really appeal me, but I had no choice but agree when it started to rain cats and dogs. Luckily though, Woohyun came along, so it made the situation much less awkward. We rode in silence, listening to the lowly sound of the rain outside; I was glad it wasn’t a very heavy rain, for, to be honest, after my mother’s death I was afraid of thundering, even now the panic attacks hadn’t entirely left, and the last thing I wanted was to scream and huddle in a corner of the car, freaking out.

I was sitting in the back while Woohyun sat in the passenger seat. They would talk then and there in hushed voices and I didn’t concentrate much; at one point though, our eyes met on the rearview mirror, I wasn’t certain if I blushed. Later on he the radio, the same album of Nell started to sing and he sang alone. For a moment I felt as though I was drifting away to sleep.

I didn’t realize that I already had until I felt a hand shaking endlessly by my shoulder; I freaked out, momentarily, causing Sung Gyu to stumble back; it took me a moment to return to my posture to finally realize that I was home and that he had dropped Woohyun off somewhere. When our eyes met, he offered me a gentle smile.

“You’re home” He whispered to me lightly, and I felt my cheeks burning in embarrassment. Why did I have to fall asleep like a total loser in his car?

I squirm and grunt before finally hopping out, only to realize that he had already driven up the slope to my house. The front porch light was , the light in the living room was dimmed that I figured my father was home, probably watching the game.

“You…are tired?” He whispered again, and I realized he was a little too close to me than I expected that I quickly pulled away, turning red. Why was he so strange? Drunk, by any chance?

“No…just…” With one nervous glance, I forced out a smile. “I’ll be going now….thank you…for the ride, Sung Gyu-Ssi”

He eyed me strangely then, watching me closely for a while as though he was searching in me for answers. My whole face burnt in embarrassment, unable to figure out what he was doing and was finally relieved when he stepped back, with a smile.

“That’s my pleasure, Eunji-Ssi…” He said, still, in a low voice. “I…will be going then?”

I nodded in return. “Sure, see you later then”

But he didn’t seem to move, instead, with much hesitation, he cleared his throat, eyed me and pulled out his phone. “Eunji-Ssi, would you mind giving me your number?”

I was surprised that I simply stared at him, unable to utter a word. Kim Sung Gyu, the walking talking trouble was actually asking for my number?

Kim Sung Gyu the Underground legend who had been doing it for ten years and who went to the states to complete his masters and who’s turning twenty five this month was actually asking for my number?

I thought of all the fan girls from the pit, and thought back to myself. Wouldn’t this be an opportunity that all the girls would be screaming for?

But why was I least bit enthusiastic?

“B-but…why?” Truly, I didn’t know why I stuttered or why it came out in a whisper. I, as always was thinking too much, being delusional, being completely out of it, I wasn’t even drunk, yet I really didn’t know what was wrong with myself.

He massaged the nape of his neck and looked down at me, completely expressionless.

“Nam Woo Hyun asked for it”

I didn’t know why, but something, yet again, shattered inside me.

“Oh” was all I could say. It wasn’t that I specifically didn’t like him, Nam Woo Hyun, he was such a charming young man, talented, good looking and really knew how to make a girl’s heart flutter, but I wasn’t necessarily fond of his behavior towards me. He was sweet, he truly was, and I liked how he spoke and smiled every time we met, but the idea that he was actually hitting on me didn’t really make me happy.

But of course, considering myself, I was probably being out of it again.

“So, would you…mind? He was going to ask you himself, but since you were asleep…I said I’d do it for him…”

I shrugged and pulled my out my phone. “Okay, give me yours first”

“Eh?”

“Give me your number so I can ring” I said with a sigh, and much reluctantly he read it out to me and I called him back.

“Good…Thanks” he muttered once he was done and looked up with a slight smile. “So then…I’ll be going”

“Sure, good night…”

With a brief wave, he made it back to his car, and I, on the other hand, feeling a little strange, watched as the car went by, disappearing into the cold spring night before heaving a sigh. Why was I feeling so…distraught again? I really wasn’t sure myself. Maybe I was too attracted to his singer persona.

And I was sure, it was merely just…attraction.

The next day Myung Soo came around looking cheerful than ever before and proudly announced it that he was taking me out for coffee in order to make up for the whole ordeal from the day before. Myung Soo was that kind of a person, he couldn’t bear it whenever he had done wrong to someone he was really close to. The reason why, as he had told me before was that he was someone who was wronged by someone whom he really cared for, and that feeling remained on his heart as an eternal scar. But of course he was a literature student, he knew it very well, how to exaggerate things to make things sound worse than they already were, but I, for who I was, would wordlessly believe him, and thus let him make it up to me whenever he felt like it.

He didn’t skip the evening lectures since we both missed it the day before, so after the lectures throughout which I tried my best to not to doze off, he and I sped off to Sung Yeol’s, where I was supposed to be working later on that day. He ordered his usual, his favorite and I got myself a frappe before settling down to just chatter as we always would. It made me think back to the old days, where we’d sit by the curb and talk about past, when the spring blossoms would float by gently in the hushed whisper of the wind, those were the good days, when I had Myung Soo for myself; time was such a miraculous thing, you see, it changes everything from how they used to be.

We didn’t have much to talk about; he was telling me about his Hyung who would never learn how to keep things where he picked them up from and how much of an utter mess his room was that he never stepped into it unless he wanted to die young; I didn’t have much to say, except for laughing at his tales, trying my best to be oblivious to the throbbing pain in my heart.

He was telling me about that time when his Hyung ran out in his pajamas to stop his bestie from cutting himself when Sung Yeol came around with a smudge smile playing on his lips. And I noticed, there was a folded sheet in his hand. My heart skipped a beat.

“Is that…?” I could barely speak a word; I was so surprised you see, since I never expected there to be another letter from him, I never expected him to write again.

“You guessed right, princess” Sung Yeol chimed and placed the letter on the table next to my glass. I started trembling, momentarily, the excitement was overwhelming me that I could hardly contain it right before Myung Soo’s eyes. He was watching me eagerly, constantly his eyes went back and forth from the sheet to me, but his expression was different. I expected him to be excited, I expected him to be happy for me, but all instead of these, there was a darker look in his eyes.

It was him who spoke first. “So…what are you waiting for?”

I pursed my lips, took one deep breath and unfolded it. As always, it had only four lines.

‘Princess, listen, Love would come by one day, so wait’
If he wouldn’t want you so what? Just wait,
Because he might not be the one, this might not be the time
So hold on, and wait, just because the right one…It might even be me…’

I felt my heart cringe, for something hit me hard, emotionally. Why were these words…so familiar? As though I had heard them before…but no matter how hard I tried to read between lines, I could never capture his voice, no, the admirer, he was so far away.

It took me a moment to return to my posture, and when I did, the first thing I happened to see was Myung Soo, staring up at me expectantly; there was a certain glint in his eyes which I couldn’t really grasp; Myung Soo had unrecognized dispositions, truly, and trying to see what his eyes were really saying was factually futile.

“So…what does it say?”

I was speechless, I couldn’t answer at all. How could I? When he was actually referring to him?

“Well?”

I opened my mouth to reply, but then again, I couldn’t. My mouth was dry, mind was hay wired, and all I wanted to do momentarily was cower in a corner until he simply give up.

He shrugged, eventually and sat back. “Okay…if you really don’t want to tell me then…”

“No no, it’s not that!” I found myself saying. He looked up then, the very same expectancy flooding in his eyes, and I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying something irrelevant. “It’s just…it doesn’t say much…except that he…” I gulped hard. “Might like…me…”

For a moment, we both remained silent; him, twirling his spoon over the cream while I watched the movement of his hand. The clatter of utensils and people’s chatter and laughter was, as always, incessant, there was a teen aged girl on the next table, and I could almost feel her eyes unmoving on him.

It was Myung Soo, just as before, who spoke first; he spoke to me with one of these glorious smiles of his which could always send a girl swooning to no end.

“That’s…great, Eunji, I’m happy for you”

I widened my eyes. “You are?”

He nodded, still smiling. “Of course! How do you think I would feel after my best friend gets herself an admirer?”

“Oh” I mutter, turning red and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “Well…”

“So,” He continued, looking enthusiastic. “You know who he might be?”

“Eh? Well, I…”

He made a face. “Why? You should write back and see, shouldn’t you?”

I bit my lip, feeling uncomfortable. Really, I never expected my one love to come and ask me what to do with my secret admirer, could he be that so oblivious?

“It never occurred to me”

“Well, I guess you should” He said, before taking a long sip from his drink. He never used straws, saying that people touch those before putting it in, so he drinks straight out of the cup, which would always leave a trail of cream on his lips. “I mean, what if it was a psychopath? A drug addict or something?” He made a straight face before adding; “Omo, what if it was a woman!”

I laughed, feeling lighter and rolled my eyes. “Myung Soo! You’re at it again!”

“What did I do?”

I shook my head before looking at him straight in the eye. “Myung, how could it be a psychopath, a drug addict? Seriously?”

“Well…anything could happen…”

I laughed again. “Well, I think you’re just jealous”

He looked up, wide eyed, and almost chocked on his drink. “M-me? Jealous! Ji, you’re just funny, why would I be? I have my girl to worry about…”

My heart dropped at his words, finally occurring it to me that the days we spent under trees and abandoned parks were long gone, only becoming memories, for Kim Myung Soo, whom I loved so dearly had already moved on.

I sat back and took the last sip of my frappe. “Yeah, yeah sure…suit yourself”

Sung Yeol sent me off that day on his own will, claiming that I might be inconvenient since I just got another letter for which I was really thankful. Sungyeol really liked to climb up people’s nerves, and give them a seriously miserable time; maybe that was his charm, telling others off whenever he wanted to, because that was exactly why I liked him, because despite how he might speak, I knew, he would always sincerely care for us.

So after giving Sung Yeol and Chorong unnie a quick good bye, Myung Soo and I drove away, he offered to drive me home. The ride was silent than usual, and unlike Sung Gyu, Myung Soo never played any music, claiming that he hated it when it’s noisy. I wouldn’t say anything against him though, since that was just how he was; my father told me once, if we accept someone for his specialties and his flaws, then there would always be love. It was indeed the truth I tell you, because I feel it was how I realized I had fallen in love.

Ten minutes into the ride, Myung Soo called out to me.

“Hey, Ji…Do you think this…admirer of yours…is Sung Yeol?” He asked out of the blue, his eyes focused on the road. I was surprised at his question as well as his tone that I took my time to ponder and reply conveniently.

“Sung Yeol? Really?” I recalled the words in the letter and tried to fit the words to his voice. It didn’t work. “I guess not”

“How…could you be so sure?” He asked.

“I can’t hear his voice in the words”

He scoffed. “You really have your ways, Jung Eunji”

“I know I do…was it to flatter me?”

He cleared his throat. “Nope. Not really”

I turned to him before going on. “But really, Myung Soo…were you really thinking of it again?”

“Well I-,”

I laughed. “So you are jealous!”

“Of course not! He bellowed, sounding uncomfortable. “Why would I be?  It’s just…” He trailed off, still staring straight out at the road, and I felt my heart beating hard. What was he thinking? What did he factually feel?

“It’s just?” I asked, urging for him to continue, and a while later, he finally did, this time his eyes were on me.

“Eunji, you know very well that you…are someone…important to me. My getaway, eh?”

I nodded, my heart cringing in despair. I was being really delusional, bringing my hopes up. Kim Myung Soo would never see me anything more than a friend.

“So I…I don’t want anyone weird to take you away…you get it? I don’t want someone random to ruin you…you would find the right person, one day…even if you wouldn’t…”

My heart skipped a beat.

“I would look out for you, because you and I are best of friends…get it?”

And fell into the oblivion. It’s the truth, the undeniable truth. Kim Myung Soo would never see me as anything more than a friend therefore I Jung Eunji should wordlessly accept it, embrace it and live through it despite how much it would hurt my frail, frail heart.

We didn’t talk about it afterwards anymore, in fact, we didn’t want to, for some reason, he didn’t seem like he wanted to carry on the conversation anymore. It might be that he noticed how uncomfortable it made me feel, it might be that he realized how inconvenient his intervention may be, whatever the reason was, I was glad that he finally dropped the conversation.

Ten minutes into the ride, He finally stopped the car in the middle, braking hard that I yelled in response, clutching my chest.

“Omo! What was that about?”

He wasn’t listening to me though, instead, he was peeking over the windshield at something on the road.

“Myung…” I muttered, fearing the answer. “Did you just…run over someone?”

Without looking at me once, he opened the door and stepped out. “Hold on a moment.”

I watched him as he slowly walked over to the front of the car, my heart beating hard in my throat. Since Myung had this serous case of OCD, he would always drive carefully since he didn’t want to get himself involved in a bloody mess. I didn’t really think that he could have run over someone, really, he would never do something of the sort, but what could we be sure of? As said before, expect the unexpected.

He crouched down to the ground then, and I leaned over for a clear look. Since I couldn’t see anything, I climbed down too, only to be greeted by the most adorable sight on earth.

Kim Myung Soo was trying so hard to not touch a little pup, sitting before him wiggling incessantly his tiny tail. I wanted to hit his head at that moment, not wanting to lay a finger on that bundle of joy; I swiftly moved to him and took the puppy in my hands.

“Aww! Look what we have here!”

“Eunji, what are you doing!?!” Myung Soo bellowed exasperatedly. “It’s some dirty pup!”

“Shut up, Myung, its adorable!”

He shook his head. “Put it down now, I don’t want fur all over my seat”

I shot him a glare. “Nah! I’m going to take it home…seems someone has abandoned it…”

“Y-you…are kidding me” He said in utter distraught. “You are not taking that thing in my car”

I rolled my eyes. “Sure…I’ll just walk the rest”

“Eunji…”

“Go away mister clean-freak, I don’t need you, pup’s got me”

He stared at me for a while, and the puppy as I cuddled it against my chest. It whined loudly, such a pleasant sound, and wriggled its tale as though it had known me all this time. In the end Myung Soo sighed, giving up.

“Okay fine…just take it and come”

I turned to him, befuddled. “Really?”

“Yeah yeah…what else could we do?”

I smiled. “Alright! You’re the best”

And without another word, he forced me into the car, I cuddled the pup in my coat before buckling up, and I noticed how he kept his distance as he started the engine before we made it to my place; and he drove in ultra-speed.

“You’re adopting it” Myung Soo stated out, once we’re home. “You”

“Yeah” I said, watching it sitting on the wooden floor of our kitchen, munching on cookies. “Does it sound bad?”

He shrugged. “I’m officially staying away from any kind of skin ship with you from now on…”

I laughed. “That’s good to hear…”

“But really” He continued with a sigh. “You can handle it?”

“Of course I can” I whined in response. “What do you think I am?”

He rolled his eyes. “Okay, okay, I get it….so, are you not going to name it?”

“I am! Myung, seriously what’s up with you?”

He shrugged again. “Nothing…just…what’s it you are going to call it then?”

I turned back to the pup, who was done eating and was looking up again, wiggling its tail. It seemed to be of a good breed, and both Myung and I were bad with recognizing them, but he sure seemed to be a nice little thing. I smiled, the perfect name simply came to my mind.

“I’m going to call him…’Puppy’” I said in English.

“Puppy? Really?” He asked, amused.

“Yeah…it sounds pretty convenient”

He began to laugh, just like that. “Eunji, you seriously calling it Puppy?!? Aigoo”

“Yah! Cut it, Myung, You’re no good!”

“And you’re so funny! That’s possibly the worse name ever!”

I didn’t say anything in return though, because Myung Soo was laughing, he seemed so happy, and I didn’t want this moment to end.

And that was how ‘Puppy’ came into my life.

Three days later, Howon called me while I was in the middle of a lecture with Myung Soo writing endlessly the notes, claiming that he was in the middle of a great crisis. I didn’t care for it much though, since I knew him like an open book and the kind of crisis he get into were no world wars thus I told him to hold on until I end the lectures and come around. He wouldn’t listen though, he sounded desperate, and it was something quite unusual which caught my utter courtesy since really, whenever I got into trouble it was him who came for my rescue; diligently as though it was his responsibility, and thus I could never take his pleas as granted; it was why I asked Myung Soo to carry on with the notes and promised to buy him an iced green tea the next time before snatching my coat, telling my lecturer I had a personal matter and heading straight to the bus stop.

Howon was at Sung Yeol’s, arguing about something trivial just as usual when I barged in and sprawled on the floor, panting to hold on my last breath. Seeing me, Sung Yeol almost got a heart attack;

“Eunji, can you be more embarrassing now?!”

I ignored him and turned to Howon, looking through my dimmed eyes in spite of the balmy sunlight outside. “What was it…that you dragged…me here…now?”

“Oh you’re here” He said and dragged me by my arm to the chair behind the counter. I could feel several pairs of eyes on us, and I could almost sense how judgmental they were, looking at us through their perspectives but the usual customers were accustomed to this typical turmoil in the store,  that they simply carried on with their doing as Howon stood before me, looking down as though they had announced a national crisis.

I tried to catch my breath. “What…is…wrong with you…?”

He took his time to respond to me, going on staring at me as though I had all the answers for the matters which kept his head busy and finally, with a deep breath, he asked;

“Resident princess’s mystery man?”

I made a face, annoyed. “That’s why you called me all the way here?”

He sighed. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to-,”

I was trying my best to suppress my anger. “Howon, do you realize what you just did?”

“I know! But I couldn’t help it-!”

I shrugged. “Why? Howon…this is not likely of you…”

He didn’t respond then, but looked down, seeming hurt. Howon was of the tough variety, it wasn’t that he took feelings as granted, no, he never did, but he was the kind to never let them waver his steadfast grip on keeping sane. I had known him for years, gone through so much with him right beside me, yet this sudden change of him worried me, honestly. Why was the resident princess worrying him so much?

Him, as expected, just stood there, watching me, without uttering a single word. I couldn’t stand watching him this way though; I needed my answers, and I wasn’t the patient type to observe and find answers, I wanted them there, right before my eyes.

Without taking another moment for his response, I took his hand and simply dragged him outside, turning a deaf ear on Sung Yeol’s endless bickering; we stood on the curb, facing one another.

“Spill it, Howon”

He stared down at me as though it was I who’s running out of her mind. “Spill what?”

I sighed heavily. “That what’s bothering you about Naeun”

He pursed his lips then, and I noticed how his eyes wandered about, something strange, resonant in the depths of them. He was confusing, at times, Howon was. Although he wasn’t capable of driving us to insanity like Myung Soo would, I hated to sit through his strange emotions.

Yet all of a sudden, his eyes froze, and widened, followed by his lips parting with something to say. I raised my brows. “Howon, what is-,”

Before I could say anything though, he grabbed me by my shoulders and turned me around; and that was what I witnessed it.

Something that I had never ever wished to witness in my life.

Something which seemed to prove it to me that everything had its probability to happen;

No matter how absolutely insane it might sound;

Heartbreaking…even, strangely.

And how we should accept the reality, and live it through. For anything is bound to happen.

He turned around then, he who stood on the opposite curb as ours, and removed the cap he wore, only to have his eyes meet mine, and strangely, strangely, something exquisite shattered inside me, as how would a broken promise, and all I could do was breath hard, trying to not suffocate, realizing just how bitter the reality could be.

So this was the crisis Howon was talking about; and it was, indeed, for the both of us.

“The mystery boy of hers….Eunji” Howon spoke, finally, as his eyes and mine remained fixed, unwavering, with my breath ridged in my throat.

“Turned out to be Kim Sung Gyu…could it be possible, even?”

I didn’t know what to say then, I couldn’t answer, for I wasn’t certain myself.

I couldn’t decipher them, after all; what’s possible, from what was absolutely impossible to happen.

Kim Sung Gyu.

And Song Naeun.

Hello again!
I'm sorry for the late update, i'm not in the best mentality these days, you see. And I guess it would take me a while to settle down and get back to normal because being this is honestly irritating me, I'm irritated at myself, and I really want a nice long comfy sleep right now (wait, now where did that come from?)

Anyway, an ABSOLUTELY long chapter here, but don't blame me, at times we have to tolerate things when they go on for so long. Like growing your hair long? (I was considering chopping mine off...what am I saying?) and if its a crappy chapter, blame it all on my mentality, I'm not in my best mood, honestly! My sleeping pattern is going all wrong, and take one meal per day; once in a while I talk insensible things, i really don't know what's going on.

So yeah, forgive me peeps, for all these (Is it friday the thirteenth?) and I promise to do with the next chap onwards. But really, if you want to drop this, I'm totally fine.

I hope I'd get better from this insanity soon. Until then, good bye!

Love,
Achini.