Contd. from part 1 (18)

The next morning I happened to wake up with my face pressed on someone’s clothed thigh. I was still in my room though, still in my bed and whomever who had invaded my privacy was merrily sitting on my bed, legs stretched, back on the head-board as though it’s just natural to be so early in the morning; what’s even more surprising was that Puppy was happily dozing on the carpet without a sound. Out of instinct, I sat up and simply pushed the intruder off my bed.

“Yah!” Squeaked Myung Soo after he had fallen mercilessly to the ground with a soft thud. “You’re so violent!”

“And you’re so bad!” I replied, putting my legs down the bed. I was surprised, honestly. I never imagined Myung Soo to even call me, considering how he was like, how come it was that he’s sitting in my room just now? I could have pinched myself to wake up but Myung Soo faster by pulling my hand to get back on feet.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, trying to not to sound too curious. He plopped down on the bed beside me. “Why? Shouldn’t I?”

I rolled me eyes. “You know that’s not what I mean, Myung Soo…”

He shrugged. “We got back to Seoul yesterday, and I thought I’d stay here since you were alone”

“You…stayed here?” I asked with utter horror. And to add to it, he nonchalantly replied. “Hmm…you were asleep already, I slept on the couch outside”

I stared at him for a moment, my heart fluttering in delight. Just when I thought I had lost him for a second time, he had returned to me himself; not as a rejected, depressed love failure but as the considerate and caring Myung Soo that I had always loved.

Without thinking any further, I threw both my hands around his neck and pulled him into a hug. “You’re back, Myung Soo…”

He flinched in my hands for a moment and held back his hands. “I am…but Eunji you haven’t washed yet”

“Oh sorry” I pulled back, realizing that he, of course hadn’t laid a hand on me. I wouldn’t say anything though, that was just Myung Soo, the clean-freak Myung Soo whom I wanted back as whom he was.

“You’re back…” I said again, and he smiled warmly; I noticed how his ears had gone red. It must be that he still wasn’t over it, but I had a feeling that he would, one day, for us both wished to return to our old days, because we both knew that some things were never supposed to change.

“Yup….it was terrible there in Jeju…that punk got drunk and puked on my shoe I almost died!”

I laughed, I laughed so hard, I had never been so happy to have Myung Soo back in my life just where he and I started off. He was still beautiful, just as he had always been, and kind and witty but what had changed was that there was a completely different sparkle in his eyes; a sparkle which seemed to say that he was happier, that he was happier than he had ever been in his life.

I leaned over and hugged him once more; he went stiff as rock. “Eunji” He said in a stern tone thus I pulled back and rolled my eyes. “Fine, I’ll wash and come”

When I returned from the shower, already dressed for school, Myung Soo was busy making my bed as though he was obliged to do so. He was so immersed in his job, eyes moving along his movements that he didn’t even see me emerging out the washroom. Such a stubborn fellow he was, and never wished to see anyone’s bed undone. Sung Gyu must be having a jolly good time with him making his bed every single morning.

“Hey mister clean-freak” I called out, retrieving my bag from where I had last kept it god knows when. He looked up immediately with my pillow in his hands and smiled freakishly. “Yeah?”

“We’ll get late for school”

“Oh” He placed my pillow in place and puffed it up a bit. “Coming!”

We got down the stairs together and found that Howon had already left breakfast for us with a note on the kitchen table. Myung Soo seemed uninterested though, explaining that he had been the one to take it in, and I took the note in my hand.

‘Breakfast for you and Myung Soo…he said he was coming up. Eat well. See you later. Love, Howon’

I turned to Myung Soo who was wiping the kitchen cabinet with a piece of cloth he had found from somewhere random. “Did you eat?”

He shook his head. “Nope”

I took the packed breakfast boxes out and placed them on the table. “We’ll eat first then, I’m starving to death”

All through breakfast, I realized that Myung Soo was constantly glancing at me as though he had something to say. I had thousand questions to ask in my head even that about what was with the handkerchiefs but I restrained, seeing that it still wasn’t time. I didn’t know if Myung Soo would still accept it if I told him the truth, it worried me more if he was still convinced that I had actually confessed to Woohyun the other day, but then again, he was Myung Soo. He would never act around as though it never happened.

After a while, he put down his chopsticks and turned to me. I looked up, placing down the chopsticks myself and gave him a smile, anticipating whatever which was coming. “What is it, Myung Soo?”

He sighed and nervously gripped on to his bowl. “Eunji….”

“Yeah?”

He was silent for a moment that I had to stare at him, feeling my heart stop at the anxiety until he finally replied.

“Do you…like uri Hyung? Sung Gyu hyung?”

Momentarily, I was silenced, I was befuddled, and I had no words to say in response. I had no idea if he had seen me through or if he had found out in any other way, I had no idea how he would feel or how he would react if I would be up and honest about what I felt, thus I stayed silent, I didn’t want to be transparent and vulnerable to his eagle senses myself.

And just when I had expected him to throw daggers into my eyes, he gave me a pleasured smile. “I knew it…I knew it would turn out that way…”

I was still unable to utter a single coherent word and he continued. “You like my hyung, Eunji, I felt it all from the beginning”

I fiddled with my hands, eyes focused solely on the rim of the bowl, still unable to figure out how exactly I should respond. Myung Soo had always been the attentive kind although he takes a little longer to realize things; it was obvious that I had been transparent. What could he be thinking just now? Was he upset? Wouldn’t he accept it? Or would he be-,

“I’m happy Eunji” He eventually replied and smiled at me warmly. “I honestly am. I wanted it to be someone who would take care of you…just as I would devote myself, and hyung is someone who could give twice as much as we expect…and for Hyung too…he needs someone like you…”

“But Myung-,” I attempted arguing but he beat it to me.

“Hyung likes you too”

Believing people, as I think, comes as a packaged deal along with the person whom I believe. I would believe him if I had trusted him, I would trust him based on his conduct towards me, his conduct would be on how much of fondness he had towards me and how fond I was of him, it’s like a chained connection; the more I liked him and he liked me, I trusted him more and the more I believed that all he would say was true, despite the fact that they could actually be true, it would always be a matter of trust and belief, eventually coming down to a matter of love; thus it was more than evident that I believed Myung Soo right away, because I loved him, and I believed him to be telling me the truth, the truth about his Hyung liked me.

And of course, I was most likely to be delusional, therefore, any piece of such sensitive detail would bring me to the peak of belief, the edge of emotions, and eventually, I would have nothing else to ponder about but believe that it’s true.

So Sung Gyu most probably-definitely liked me too, as crazy as it may sound, he probably did, but refused to admit it himself.

He had his own personal reasons to do so, and Myung Soo probably knew too. Sung Gyu needed help to get over it, whatever the reasons were, because, through what he was doing, he was hurting himself.

Myung Soo and I drove to school, discussing mundane matters and he complaining about me not paying attention on the coming mock test, and it was evident that he was not touching the matter to do with relationships. He probably understood that my life was complicated as it was already in this particular department, and that I needed my own space of time to think; even during lectures, he didn’t go any further than explaining to me what I had missed and encouraging me to not to doze off in the middle.

During lunch break, we decided to eat in and bought two packs of garden salad and banana milk before heading out to our newly found secluded spot under the Banyan tree. We settled down among the moss covered roots, avoiding the balmy sunrays of the coming summer which seeped through the branches and Myung Soo helped me by taking off the cover of my plastic container before handing it over to me. He seemed to be contemplating on something, which I wished I could ask, but then again, I couldn’t, for I knew he had a reason to hold back, and that, most probably meant that he was avoiding it from touching the sensitive topic where Kim Sung Gyu was involved.

We ate in silence, listening to the singing of the birds, the sound of us crunching on the vegetables overpowering the even tone of our breath; the silence remained until I accidentally squeezed the carton of banana milk in my hand and it spilled all over my lap.

“Aish!” I muttered under my breath, reaching for my bag. Myung Soo was watching me closely, his hands searching for tissues, and out of my bag, I produced the next piece of cloth I found and began to wipe off the white liquid drenching my clothes.

“Oh!” Myung Soo exclaimed all of a sudden, and with two fingers, he held up my wrist holding the cloth. It was then that I realized what I had in my hand.

“This? Where did you get it?”

I looked at him closely, analyzing his surprised expression, and looked down at my hand, in which I held the handkerchief he gave me two days ago, the one with kittens playing with yarn.

“S-Sung Gyu-Ssi…gave me…” I managed in the end. He seemed even more surprised afterwards, pupils widening, and looked at the handkerchief even closely. “It is his…I wonder why…?”

I tilted my head to a side, feeling my heart beat faster. Myung Soo knew, he obviously did, and recognized it without a trouble; I could ask him, but only I doubted that he’d ever respond.

Most importantly, he knew it, What Sung Gyu is hiding away, who ‘she’ was and where these handkerchiefs came from; but only, as certain as I was, Myung Soo would never, not even for my sake, betray his brother and reveal things that he despised to do so.

“Yes…Myung Soo?”

He looked at my face, seeming quite troubled, and swiftly shook his head.

“Ah it’s…nothing…”

I shrugged. “Okay…but do tell me...”

“”I-,”

“What does it mean? What it says in Chinese?”

He silenced the very moment, and slowly, he nodded in response.

“So you know Chinese?”

“Yeah, well Hyung he-,”

“Fourth generation Chinese, yes” I said and held up the handkerchief, smoothed down so that it showed clearly the calligraphy. “So can you tell me what it means?”

Myung Soo looked at me carefully, then he cleared his throat, holding up a finger towards the neatly embroidered Chinese lettering.

“The first Kanji here, it stands for Holy, or saint….” He explained, as he would a history lesson. I knew from somewhere that he took Chinese a while ago, but I never saw a reason for him to, because his Chinese was actually pretty good. I didn’t know a reason for this too, until I came to know that he was adopted by a Chinese descendant family.

“The second Kanji stands for jade tablet, or just simply, jade…”

I looked at Myung Soo, confused.

“Holy-saint-Jade-tablet? Why would one write something like that on a handkerchief?”

He looked back at me for one silent moment and replied. “Exactly…and in Hangul, it stands for ‘Sung Gyu’”

Sung Gyu…Sung Gyu…

So whomever who made the handkerchiefs had specifically made them for him, embroidering down his name. things began to make sense to me then, a little by little, but what still stayed doubtful in me was whether it was really his aunt or any other relation who made them for him; the designs, so professional and detailed, but was obviously, as far as my instincts would go, were made by a woman, or a girl.

I took a deep breath and turned to him once more. “Tell me…Myung Soo…was it his aunt who made them for him?”

He looked shocked, as though I had just accused him of being a criminal and finally let out a long sigh.

“You really really like him do you?”

I stayed silent, urging him to continue.

He finally did, but unfortunately, only one single doubt could be wiped off with his help.

“No” He simply replied.

Throughout the two years of our acquaintance, I came to realize that Myung Soo had the strangest dispositions, strangest emotions, strangest habits and strangest ideas of all. Maybe that was one reason why I loved him, previously as a lover but now a best friend, however when he made the most imperceptible suggestions, I would be simply rendered speechless, because I had no idea how I could possibly do what he proposed. Even now while we were walking our way towards SK C and C to report to work (Myung Soo too, while he had begun interning) he made the most unbelievable suggestion that I had no idea how to respond.

“Ask him out” He said, burying his hands in his pocket. It was already a little late, the afternoon sun blinding our vision and Myung Soo had apparently left his car on service. I widened my eyes, surprised by his sudden suggestion and stopped dead on the sidewalk.

“Eh?”

“Sung Gyu hyung” He repeated, smiling the slightest. “Ask him out”

Myung Soo knew more than anyone else that I would never have the audacity, thus I was certain that it wasn’t what exactly he was getting at.

“You’re being ridiculous” I simply replied, walking past him. He made a mocking chuckle and easily caught up with me. “Of course, I know you have no nerve to-,”

I hit him on his head. He laughed again, rubbing where he was hit and looked up. “What I meant was treating him for dinner or something…you said that he helped you a lot right? So why not show your gratitude?”

I pondered upon his suggestion and realized that it quite did make sense. He had helped me enough, paying the hospital visit, accompanying me from Jeju and giving me a trip to Busan; even the moments I spent with him there were precious, and all the pleasure I got was thanks to him.

“That sounds legit” I said in the end, giving him a smile. “I can ask him out for dinner-,”

But then again…

“Myung, it’s awkward, I would be feeling awkward you know, only him and me…”

He sighed dramatically and hit my head. “Idiot! That’s the whole point of it!”

“Gracious!” I exclaimed, annoyed at where he was getting at. “The hell are you thinking?”

“And here I was, planning to set you up”

“Not working” I said, raising my finger in the air. “Not working Myung, your plans are dumb”

“Yeah, huh” He shrugged, and put his hands in his pocket.  But of course, I wanted to treat him for dinner, Sung Gyu, I mean; he deserved to be paid back, treating to dinner wouldn’t even be a match to all that he had done for me.

“Hey, how about treating your hyung and you, Myung?”

“Eh? Hyung and me?”

I nodded, giving him a smile. He didn’t seem to approve of it though, instead, he pouted and looked away muttering something about feeling like a third wheel. I sighed and added. “You, Hyung and Naeun, okay?”

He stopped abruptly on his track. “No”

There was something strange lurking in the air around him and he was, most evidently being stubborn once more. But of course, he was Kim Myung Soo who had being stubborn as a mere habit. I stepped closer and gave him a closer look. The discrete expression in his eyes seemed to give away everything, and it didn’t take long before the situation finally dawned upon me.

“You dumped her didn’t you?”

He was silent for a moment then, and hung his head.

I felt a strange guilt taking over single edge in my veins, as though I was responsible of his doing. In one way, I was; for it was more than obvious that Kim Myung Soo had, in fact dumped Naeun for me.

“Yah, Myung…you did it because of me?”

He stayed silent and raised his head. “I…I didn’t have a choice”

“What do you mean you had no choice?” I asked softly, trying not to burst in anger. Naeun, for everyone in the vicinity was precious, since she was the youngest of us all; despite her beauty, she was sensitive and took even the littlest of troubles into her heart. I never could understand this trait of her, and blamed her for thinking too much and at some point for trying to get attention, but in the end I realized, it was simply because she was so used to being the youngest of all. Thus I too, came down to protect her, believing it that her despair would affect everyone in the neighborhood in one way or the other.

And of everyone, it would be Lee Howon who would think of it the most; him being my best friend, it would affect me almost the same.

Myung Soo who remained silent for one uncomfortable moment, finally replied;

“Eunji you….” He looked into my eyes then, and somehow, I felt them speak to me, whispering in monotone that he was still trying, still trying to get over what he had put himself into. My heart fell in misery.

“I thought you…would go out with Woohyun hyung…”

“Myung Soo” was all I could say in return. I was surprised, honestly, that he went  for such drastic measures as dumping his girlfriend to stop me from dating Woohyun, given that Woohyun was a wonderful person himself-

-but then again, could it be that Woohyun too, hit something terrible behind his perfect façade?

“It’s not that Woohyun hyung is bad or that I hate him or anything…” He added quickly and began to walk.

“Then?” I asked, hurrying on my feet to catch up with his pace. “Why shouldn’t I date Woohyun?”

He stopped abruptly then, eyes widened and turned to me. “Are you hoping to?”

I made a light chuckle. “No…but why? Myung Soo?”

He sighed then, burying his hands in his pockets and looked up at the sky. It was warm that afternoon, perspiration shining on his temples and the tarmac on the ground was so hot that it could possibly melt our shoe soles; a perfect indication that summer was finally coming around.

“Because Woohyun is not the right one for you”

I smiled. Recalling that moment where he told me about looking out for me until the right one would come to my side. Myung Soo had always been of that kind; stubborn, clingy and protective. What surprised me though was that I couldn’t find a rational reason as to why he would think a perfectly up brought person as Nam Woohyun to not to be compatible with me.

“Why not?” I asked, walking by his side. He looked ahead, eyes focused on the tarmac path.

“Because he’s too sensitive, Eunji. Don’t you think? He’s trying to help others in their matters when he can’t take care of himself on the first place. He can’t ever handle break-ups. You see? One time, just after Hyung returned from the states, the idiot actually tried to jump off their apartment building because his girl left him and hyung had to run all the way there in his pajamas!”

Something clicked in my mind, a vague memory of meeting someone running in his pajamas in the middle of the day as though it was just as natural to do so but I never knew that his intention that day had been to save his friend from doing something so foolish,  Let alone putting his own dignity at stake. But the thought of Woohyun trying to take his own life for such trivial matters irked me, troubled me. I wondered how some people could be faithful to love when some others take something as precious as granted.

I didn’t say anything though, just because I didn’t want him to know that I had met Sung Gyu all before the time that he thought I did; the more troubles I caused would only mar the relationship I had with the two brothers.

“He’s too sensitive to you to handle Eunji. It would only hurt you both. He needs someone…stronger. You too, and I think…hyung is just the perfect candidate. He’s the strongest man I’ve known” He continued, a slight smile gracing his lips.

I hummed in agreement. “He is…and he always knows what to say…at the right time…”

Myung Soo nodded, narrowing his eyes at the balmy sunrays. “So I’m glad Eunji…now I can be at peace.”

I couldn’t utter a coherent response at his words, realizing that he was giving up, just like that, for the sake of his brother. The Myung Soo I knew was never the type to give up; he was quite rebellious, would fight to get what he wanted, I figured, he just couldn’t let the friendship we had to be at stake.

Thus, without another word, I turned to him and threw my hands around his neck, catching him by surprise. He stood still as frozen for a second before slowly running his hands on my waist, pulling me closer into his embrace.

“You know, I still love you…” He murmured, so softly that only I could hear. “But that’s okay, if it’s my Hyung, then that’s okay…”

“I love you too” I mumbled in return, and buried my face in his chest. “But that is way different from how I love your Hyung”

He nodded, his hand patting my back the gentlest. “I know….and that’s exactly what I want”

I pulled away then, stepped back and got hold of his cheeks with both my hands, making him whine in pain.

“So you, nut head, go get back with Naeun!”

“Let go!” He yelled back, pulling at my hand, which I did, laughing, before he counterattacked by catching me in a head lock. “Eunji don’t you dare touch my face after holding the bus poles, don’t you dare!”

I couldn’t reply though, for I was laughing. I was laughing so hard in so much of pleasure for getting my friend back that I couldn’t care less for the judgmental eyes passing by us or for the hot sunrays which blinded our vision or not even for the fact that I had admitted to him the truth. Everything had begun to go just perfectly as I wanted them to; Myung Soo accepted me, he returned to my side, my father was getting better, I was happier, and nothing seemed to get on my way.

I was too immersed in Myung Soo and his head lock that I couldn’t even feel it when my phone buzzed in my pocket. Myung Soo was the one who did, who looked at the caller ID before everything and handed it to me with a strange smile. It was his brother, and my heart fluttered in delight.

“Hello?” I said into the phone, smacking on Myung Soo’s arm for making faces. The other side of the line sounded hollow, and when he spoke, his voice echoed through where he was.

“Eunji, are you okay?”

I made a face, taken aback by his tone. Why wouldn’t I be okay? “Uh, yeah?”

There was silence on the other side before he suddenly blasted into the phone. “Then what on earth is that tie doing in my bag?”

Being distracted by everything else happening around me, the fact that Nam Woohyun actually slipped the tie into his bag did skip my mind. I couldn’t let him think badly of me though, after all that happened; thus, think quickly, I cleared my throat and began to speak in my best voice impersonation.

“The number you dialed cannot be reached at the moment, please try again later”

“Eunji-,”

Before he could say anything else, I quickly cut off the line and let out a heavy sigh. Myung Soo who had stopped walking just as I had, was giving me a strange look as though I had gone insane and raised his brows as soon as our eyes met.

“What was it about?”

I shrugged. “Nothing”

“Wasn’t it my hyung?”

“Well, yes?”

He stayed silent for a moment, watching me, and said; “That day, it was you wasn’t it?”

Not understanding what he was actually talking about, I made a face and continued to walk. We were both late to work already and here we were, gossiping about as would a pair of obnoxious girls, walking alone as though we had all the time in the world.

But then again, Sung Gyu didn’t at all sound like he were at work. He would never take or make personal calls during work as courtesy, which almost all his employees were aware of (Including Yeollie’s employers) thus it wasn’t natural that he was calling me at this hour, only to ask me about some tie.

“Is your hyung not at work?” I asked, walking ahead of him, yet he quickly caught up with my pace. “Nope, he went to Busan again, actually, this morning for this investment on this hotel’s system. He must have gone home”

“Ah” I nodded in response. It’s implausible, honestly, how a man could work himself so much. How could someone travel back and forth all over the peninsula as though it was a leisurely walk in a park? I recalled the heavy eye bags under his eyes despite how much they shined every time he would smile; Sung Gyu had his own ways when he came to almost everything; and I realized; these peculiar ways of him were what which made him all the more charming and impeccable.

“But Eunji”

“Yeah?”

He was right beside me when he surprised me with his latest discovery. “That day when Hyung was admitted to hospital with hernia, you were the one who took him there, weren’t you?”

I stopped dead on my track, staring at wherever I wouldn’t catch a glimpse of him and pretended to hear nothing. I was afraid of his response, to be honest; I was afraid of having him distancing himself from me for such trivial matters.

But he didn’t, as though he had accepted this hurtful but inevitable phenomena of change, and simply threw a hand over my shoulder.

“You’re an idiot, Eunji, you know that? Why didn’t you tell me everything on the first place? Everything would have been fine; in fact, I would have been delighted. You’re the one that Hyung deserves, besides, I always thought that the girl from that day would be good for him”

He turned to me then, eyes shining, a gentle, genuine smile playing on his lips. “And I see now, I’ve always been right. The only thing you’re bad at is impersonating, that ”

I laughed a little, my heart fluttering warmly at his words. It was only then that I gradually realized where I went wrong. If only I had trusted the love and loyalty he had for his brother and for me myself, things would have been much better than they were now.

I wouldn’t have been confused of what exactly we were for each other, Sung Gyu and I.

“That being said, you’ve got to take him for dinner”

I smiled, shaking my head at his peculiarity. “You know, if you’re trying to set us up, you’re doing a really bad job”

“Why is that?”

“Why, we’re being too obvious? We should make it a double date, at least, so he wouldn’t feel weird”

He shrugged, dropping his hand and finally pulled out his phone. “Alright, alright…I’ll call her”

“I knew you would!”

He just chuckled, nervously, however it was evident, that warm shine in his eyes.

I was beyond glad that this particular shine didn’t exist any longer when he would focus those into mine; that obvious fact that he had moved on, changed his heart for the sake of his brother was enough of a confirmation for myself that he, without a doubt had accepted the feelings I had.

I was at Sung Yeol’s, making a new batch of cupcakes when Woohyun called just out of the blue. Seeing his name on the display of my phone made guilt shower over myself, remembering how I had to leave in the middle of his mother’s photo-shoot and how I could never make up for it, however, I realized that it was high time for me to stop running away from all the mistakes I made. Woohyun, despite the fact that there was a time when Sung Gyu was immersed in trying to set us up, was precious to me.

“Eunji-Ssi?” His voice echoed on the other end when I had picked up the phone at the fourth ring. There was noise bustling in his surrounding, and Woohyun himself sounded as though he was just after running a mile.

“Yeah?” I asked, moving away from Sung Jong’s earshot.

“I’m coming to pick you up, is it okay? We decided to do the photo-shoot indoors, a change of plans after that day. I asked Sung Yeol too, would it be fine?”

I sighed soundlessly, relieved by the fact that he was giving me the opportunity to make it up to him, himself.

“Of course, I’ll be there…I’m sorry about that day-,”

He chuckled, casually waving it off. “It was fine, Eunji-Ssi, inevitable circumstances. I’ll be there in ten minutes, okay?”

After the line was cut off, I excused myself from Sung Jong, leaving Yeosob to accompany him and went to change my attire from the café uniform; I called Myung Soo afterwards, to inform him that I would be going with Woohyun and that he and his brother should pick me up from where the shoot would be held, as planned. Ten minutes later, as how he had promised, Woohyun arrived accompanied by the driver whom I remembered from before.

And to my surprise, he welcomed me with a smile.

The photo-shoot was held at a studio, not so far away from Woohyun’s mother’s boutique itself. They had actually made up the props to suite the surrounding of a summer day, the lights were as bright and warm as the summer sun, the bright green background (which later would be edited by a summer-like background) virtually blinded my eyes; what was more blinding was the shine in Woohyun’s mother’s eyes.

The moment I met her, I apologized her for having to leave so soon. She understood though, just as would an ordinary mother, and held me in her embrace. “Such a wonderful daughter you are, sweetheart, your father is lucky to have you”

My father was still at the hospital, taking his treatments and resting as prescribed; she promised to visit him later when she had time.

She dressed me for the shoot herself, which was quite surprising; and during then, she told me about how Woohyun thought that I was the perfect model for the shoot. I never knew that he actually thought so highly of me, for I wasn’t that much pretty to be a model to begin with; but then again, Woohyun had his ways to elaborate things; which would more or less end up becoming mere exaggerations. I found it cute, actually, this trait of him.

The dresses she had readied for me were just of my taste. There were several printed summer dresses which I had to choose from, matched with hats, cardigans and sunglasses. There were jeans and shorts and tops of all sorts. For the entire shoot, I had ten different changes of attire. It took us almost four hours to finish the entire thing.

It wasn’t awkward between us, between Woohyun and I; it was as though we were both certain of the fact that we had no deep feelings involved. We both treated each other as really close friends, friends for whom having to perform limited skin ship was not a big deal. He was smiling all the time, as expected from Nam Woohyun; and nobody was there to stop him from throwing hearts and cheesy pick-up lines at everyone, starting from the stylists and make-up artists to myself. I really adored how carefree he was, Nam Woohyun, despite the fact that he was overly sensitive. He had this certain vibe around him which would constantly attract everyone surrounding him to act in his ways; always smiling, always bright. He was doing his designated task all through this though, and for once, I wished I could switch shoes with him.

Then I thought back to what Myung Soo told me about how sensitive he was. The fact that he actually tried to kill himself for a trivial matter as breaking off with a girlfriend was hard to believe; he never showed that side of himself to the others, not even to me in spite of being so close to each other. It worried me, to be honest, but all the worries washed away when I saw Sung Gyu standing in the set, smiling as he always would, his eyes forming crescent moons.

Nam Woohyun had nothing to worry about, he had a strong best friend right by his side.

Sung Gyu and Myung Soo, as planned came to pick me up for the dinner-double date as Myung Soo would put-dragging Naeun along with them. She was beautiful as always, sitting in a corner beside Sung Gyu where he stood. Her hair was dark and long, reaching her waist, dressed in a dress which suited her perfectly well, cheeks flushed pink owing to the warmth inside. For the first time in my life, I didn’t envy her; I was happy for her, to be honest, for she was minutes away from getting back with the guy she truly deserved.

After the shoot ended and after I finished with all that I had to do there, I approached the three who sat in the set, killing their boredom on their phones. Sung Gyu was on a business call, talking into it in that professional tone that I never heard unless on a work-related conversation while Naeun and Myung Soo sat apart, immersed in their phones. I figured, it had been the truth that they had broken apart; I was actually glad that I talked him into the date, so that I could be good for once and put them back together.

It was killing two birds with one stone in one way or the other. I was putting the two back together and going on a virtual date with Sung Gyu at the same time. It wasn’t that I had planned any of this, to be honest. It was only that Myung Soo’s plan was benefiting him on the other way.

Sung Gyu invited Woohyun to join out of common courtesy; but he declined. When he did though, by some eccentric inkling, I felt he was assuming other things. It could have been my imagination though. It was almost a part of me, being completely delusional when it came down to anything related to Kim Sung Gyu.

On the way to dinner, Naeun and I sat at the back, awkwardly conversing on mundane matters as weather and studies and Lee Howon (I honestly don’t know how Howon became a mundane matter though) while the two brothers discussed work. Much words weren’t exchanged among the four of us and I found it terribly hard to break the ice. None of us were conversational much, that to be blamed; none of us were like Nam Woohyun.

However, in the end, I decided myself without further discussion that we should have dinner at an ordinary road-side food stall. That was much of what I could afford, anyway.

“Dinner’s on me, you can by the Soju, Eunji-Ssi” Sung Gyu announced, once we had settled down in a table for four. It was warm inside that Sung Gyu took off his coat and rolled up his sleeves out of reflex; the entire place was scented of burning meat and smoke. The sizzling sound of meat was overpowered by the mingling sound of people engaged in their own conversations. The surrounding was pretty much ordinary, nevertheless comforting.

“But that’s not fair, Sung Gyu-Ssi, I’m the one who’s treating” I retorted, clasping my hands together. He raised his brow, as if to mock me and said “I’m sure you’ve no enough fund to treat for four”

I was rendered speechless, by the brutality of it being indeed the truth. In the end, we settled to follow as he planned.

Myung Soo and Naeun kept on being awkward, without exchanging a word. The two sat apart, engaged in their own worlds which earned a peculiar look from his brother. It wasn’t that he was completely unaware of what was going on between them, for a certainty. It was only that he couldn’t get it that I had actually put the two angry cats in one bag. He obviously knew of where I was getting at, trying to put them back together, however he had evidently noticed that I wasn’t doing a good job.

In the end, once it seemed that he couldn’t hold it any longer, Sung Gyu announced that he was going to make orders before encouraging me to come alone. I joined him, quite hesitantly. I was in fact wondering how exactly Myung Soo had broken up with her to make things this so awkward.

“You’re putting them together again, I suppose” Sung Gyu commented, once we were out of their earshot. The smoke from the kitchen slightly misted his view to me; I replied, nonetheless.

“Yeah…it’s my fault that they broke up, so I should put them back together, don’t you think?”

“True” Sung Gyu agreed, putting his hands into his pockets. “And it’s good to know that everything’s fine between you two”

I smiled, as the old lady from the stall approached the food counter. “I am glad too.”

We ordered beef strips, Soju and four portions of a simple Korean rice dish for dinner before making it back to the table. The two were still sitting awkwardly, just as how we left them. Sung Gyu stole at me a knowing look; all I could do was shrugging in response. Of course Myung Soo was stubborn to no end; but what surprised me was how it had rubbed on, on the usually bright and extrovert Song Naeun. Exchanging a simple look, we both decided to give the two their time.

The food arrived a few minutes later, during which the two brothers engaged in their conversations while I responded to Howon’s call. He had fractured his ankle, apparently, on the way back from hospital. I was drowned in guilt, remembering that I couldn’t find a second to visit my father at the hospital throughout the day.

I planned to visit him afterwards in the end. It was terrible of me to neglect him the way I did, giving the whole responsibility to Howon, even worse.

While the beef cooked on the stove sizzling scrumptiously, Sung Gyu again asked me if I had thought about the internship. I had given no thoughts on it, to be honest; although I hindered myself from telling him that; the last letter from that secret admirer of mine was hanging on to me so badly that I didn’t want to leave the place any yet; and the thought of Lee Sung Yeol having to work with the constantly whining Chorong unnie just because her boyfriend failed to reply and a pack of strangers including Sung Jong held me back. However the fact that Sung Gyu brought up the internship made my heart a little heavy; it was as though these simple facts were proving to me of something that I foolishly tried to believe.

Sung Gyu, I realized, was making conversations with me to hinder Myung Soo from doing that, thus would focus on what he was supposed to do. The two didn’t show much of change for quite longer until Sung Gyu and I changed our conversation from one mundane matter to another involving college; Myung Soo picked out a decent piece of frying beef, wrapped it up and held it out awkwardly at Naeun’s direction. I stopped talking, momentarily, waiting for any sort of a reaction from her part; but Sung Gyu who apparently realized that it was getting even more awkward wrapped a piece of beef himself and stuffed it forcefully into my mouth.

I was surprised, widening my eyes in horror with my heart stopping at the spur of the moment. I would have let my heart flutter in delight if he didn’t give me a knowing look to indicate that I should leave them be. Which I eventually did.

Naeun didn’t accept his offering though. Instead, she slammed her hand hardly on wooden surface of the table, stood up with her purse hanging down her shoulder. “Stop it, Myung Soo!” was all she said before she simply made it away and out of the stall.

Myung Soo stood up abruptly, sighing in frustration and glanced at his brother for help. Sung Gyu was smiling the slightest at that time, his jet black strands of hair fallen over his eyes and nodded in return.

It didn’t take long before he too, ran after her.

Once they were out of earshot, I began to chew slowly on the food in my mouth which I forgot to before; staring at Sung Gyu for any sort of verbal reaction. He slumped back in his chair then, hands folded on his chest and to my utter surprise, he began to laugh.

I was surprised out of my skin, to be honest; for this was actually a first to see Sung Gyu laughing at a moment like this. I looked at the several bottles of Soju to see whether he was drunk but none of them were still opened, apparently which left me with the third most unbelievable option; Sung Gyu had in fact, lost it.

I chewed harder, swallowed it down while watching him pouring two glasses of Soju, handing one out to me. I raised my brows at him questioningly, and he shrugged in response. “It’s funny, you see” He replied, in the end.

“What’s funny?” I asked, confused of his remark. Sung Gyu wasn’t known to be vague about his remarks, usually he would be stark and clear; but for some reason, I was unable to grasp what he was saying.

“Myung Soo, you Naeun and myself. We’re funny”

I still couldn’t understand thus I remained silent, watching him as he poured himself another glass.

“This is like one of those sappy dramas which you desperate single ladies watch, don’t you think, Eunji-Ssi. There they are, the two love birds in a lover’s quarrel while here we are, drinking off. Isn’t it funny?”

“Why is it?” I asked, still confused. This was the vaguest conversation that we have ever had.

“Because we’re doing all this, but we ourselves don’t know why, don’t you think? I’m certain Myung Soo is still not over you, but he’s after Naeun again. I don’t know if she’s fine with getting back, but she wants to, and you and I…”

I felt my heart skipping a beat, urging him to continue. “You and I?”

He sat straight, wrapped a piece of beef and stuffed it into my mouth. It took me by surprise, what’s more surprising was that Sung Gyu popped his hands on the table, leaned over and watched me with such intensity. He was observing me; observing my eyes, the patchiness of my breath and the slight tremble of my lips along with the complexion of my cheeks; was he seeing something he wasn’t supposed to? I would have considered leaving the place just as Naeun did, but I couldn’t; for it would only make what’s almost obvious more brutally translucent.

I wasn’t ready, my heart explained. I wasn’t ready to admit it yet.

“We don’t know what the hell we’re doing here.” He said in the end and gestured at my glass. “It’s okay to get a little drunk, Eunji-Ssi”

I glared at him, at how casual he sounded before downing the glass in one go. Before even I could ask for it, he poured me another. “You might be setting them up again, but what am I doing here? It’s funny, really”

“I didn’t want to feel like a third wheel” I replied, trying to be partially honest. Sung Gyu easily bought it though, failing to note that I wasn’t being entirely honest, and smiled. “So that makes me the fourth wheel…but say, Eunji, are we on a double date or something?”

I stopped dead, staring down at my hand which held the empty glass almost too tightly. I couldn’t have been that transparent of my conduct, that inconsiderate that he had easily caught up; all that I could do at the moment was deny.

I broke out a fake laughter then, trying to make it sound real and replied. “What makes you say that? No way is it anything like that!”

“Hmm hmm” he nodded and poured another two glasses. “Okay, I believe you…” He raised his glass then, smiling a weird one and gestured at me. “Cheers for the third and fourth wheels?”

Being careful to not to show the convulsion of my hand, I raised my glass; the two made a comfortable clink as they brushed against each other.

“Cheers!”

Sung Gyu and I were silently devouring the rice dish which had run called while we drank, when Myung Soo and Naeun returned to the stall. It seemed that Naeun had cried apparently; Myung Soo had his eyes red too, which was eccentric for the cool façade he always had. However though, I noticed how they had their hands in one another, fingers clasped together so tightly that their tips had turned pink. Myung Soo led her to her chair before going to his own. All through this though, Sung Gyu was watching me, amusement filled in his eyes. I didn’t know what has gotten into him, to be honest. As far as my concern went, Sung Gyu had never acted this way before; his behavior so vague and undermining my frustrated mind; it was as though he was trying to show that he had noticed something which wasn’t supposed to exist. I thought of what he said about this being a double date. Was it that we were actually being evident of it really being a double date? Or was it that he presumed me wanting it to be one under the façade of it being a mere set up for Myung Soo and Naeun.

Sung Gyu, I realized, could be strangely ambiguous at times, despite himself being starkly notable and clear. This made him look all the more charming in my eyes.

After Myung Soo and Naeun had seemingly made up; the awkward atmosphere engulfing us became a lot more cheery and light. Something strange had gotten into Sung Gyu that he cracked weird jokes time to time, laughing on his own while Myung Soo went being all lovey with Naeun who seemed a lot better than before. It was as though I was watching a gag show of some sort, witnessing the implausible behavior of the two brothers. It was as though I were seeing two completely different sides of them, sides that they had always successfully hidden beneath what I’ve known them to be.

We finished all five bottles of Soju and at the end of it all, all four of us were drunk; Myung Soo being the drunkest of all. He managed to keep his cool over this though; eyes hooded with the effects of alcohol attacking him. Sung Gyu too, was acting so strange that he actually left his blazer inside the stall which he had to run back inside and find when he realized that his phone was lost. Once we were outside the stall, barely being able to stand straight, Myung Soo announced that he and Naeun were going somewhere else. I didn’t think much of it though, it didn’t hit me hard, the fact that the somewhere else they were heading to could eve involve things that we’re too shy to mention and talk about. Even Sung Gyu, who had more tolerance of alcohol than both Myung Soo and I did let him off with a laugh.

“Go, go…I don’t care…but do use protection” He said, laughing languidly which caught me absolutely off guard that he actually said something of the sort.  Myung Soo seemed unaffected though, and I found myself slowly becoming sober when Myung Soo said in return; “You too, hyung!”

It was certain that Myung Soo was completely drunk; but when he said what I never wished to hear, I wished I could simply go and choke him to death. I refrained myself though, for Sung Gyu swiftly caught him in a headlock. He whispered something imperceptible in Myung Soo’s ear then, earning from him a laughter before Sung Gyu kissed him on his cheek. It was so weird, honestly, to witness the two brothers acting this way, but then again, I found it peculiarly adorable for all I had seen them being before is loyal and respectful to one another.

“Take care Hyung!” Myung Soo greeted in the end, taking Naeun’s hand in his. Naeun had gone as red as a cherry but I noticed that she wasn’t opposing to him.

“You too, Myung Soo-ah! Don’t come too late…” Sung Gyu said in return, waving his blazer in the air. Sung Gyu, when even slightly drunk, become weird; and this I learned from that when he invited me to dance and we kissed.

He needs to be kissed to become sober again; it wasn’t that I actually opposed to it, but was gullible as it sounds.

Sung Gyu offered to drop me home that night. I didn’t oppose to it, for I was afraid of walking the streets at night anyway, especially after what happened with him that day when he talked about getting laid. I found myself immersed in that thought, momentarily, considering what his brother told him moments ago; but was overweighed by the fact that Woohyun had been in fact, trying to jump off his apartment building that day; it made me feel lighter, to know the truth of what had happened on the day of our first meeting, otherwise those things would have remained in my mind, muddled and unanswered for longer than I wanted to.

Maybe Sung Gyu wasn’t the type to get laid and share girls with on the first place; maybe he was trying to make Woohyun feel better.

All I wished at that moment was for that thought to not to be an outcome of my wishful thinking.

“Straight away home?” Sung Gyu asked, buckling up his seat belt after he had thrown his blazer to the backseat over his head. It was a little warm inside the car, probably because we let it outside the warm stall for quite too long and it smelled of Sung Gyu and a little bit of summer.

I shook my head in response, since I had made other plans. “Not exactly…I have to visit my father at the hospital” I said, putting on the seat belt myself. “You should drop me off at the bus stop”

He started the engine then, the radio by itself, Aerosmith playing its tune.

“I can take you there” He said casually and rolled down the shutter to stick his head out and urged someone to move his car. He moved back inside, rolled up the shutter and turned to me with a smile. “I don’t mind”

“Okay then” I consented, having no other alternatives. “Do as you wish”

For a few minutes, Sung Gyu drove in utter silence the sound of music resonating over the faint hum of the air conditioner. It was colder inside then, slight goose bumps appeared on the exposed bit of my skin; and his hand brushed against my thigh whenever he changed a gear thus I moved to the furthest cornet of the seat. It was as though we hadn’t much to talk of, either it was that we had so much to talk about but we didn’t know where to begin. Sung Gyu had his eyes steadily focused on the road, one hand on the wheel, and the other propped against the door; seemingly he was deep in his thought.

He called out to me after a while then, and I turned to face him. His eyes was still focused on the road while his mind was evidently elsewhere.

“I found the tie in my bag today…did it walk itself in?” He asked, casually as though we were discussing weather. I stayed silent then, trying to pretend that his question went unheard until he coaxed for me to reply.

“I thought Woohyun told you-,” He added, and I quickly cut in, telling him the truth.

“Woohyun put it in, not me…he thought it’s a waste to put it away, don’t you think?”

He stayed silent for a moment, as though analyzing the situation, and laughed.

Something was strongly amiss in the situation, I figured, for Sung Gyu was laughing a little more than usual.

“True true…It’s a waste. I take it as you didn’t make him do it-,”

“I did not!” I exclaimed defensively. “Of course I knew nothing about this…underlying meaning!”

“I know you didn’t, Eunji-ah, you’re too naïve to know all that” He stated, making a smooth turn to the right. “So I’ll just put I all under the rug and accept it. Thank you”

I sighed heavily and looked ahead on the road. The led panels moved in a flash along the vehicle’s speed, the streetlights sped as though they were one snake-like line of shining stars.

“I hope you like the wind chime though” I said in return; he gave me a smile, still watching the road.

“I like it more…” He said after a while, as a led sign of a McDonalds passed by. “I hung it in my room though, otherwise Myung Soo would throw a fit about drilling the walls”

It was a little too late for visitors when we finally made it to the hospital that the staff refused to let me pay my father a visit. It was fine though, for I knew that I was wrong to visit him at this hour; but they assured to me that he would be discharged the next day since he was stable now than before. I promised to visit them early the next morning with the change of clothes my father said to have required; once I had bid them good bye, Sung Gyu led me back to his car with a smile.

“Well, that went bad” He commented, smiling cheekily up at the sky. His eyes had a strange shine in them, as though the stars were being reflected in them and the tip of his nose as well as his cheeks were flushed of the color of pink roses. His hands were buried in his pocket at that time; and he, seemingly, had forgotten that we were still actually at the hospital curb. “You couldn’t see him…”

“its okay, that’s my fault” I said walking along, matching his slow pace. It was windy at that time; the breeze carried the heavy reek of plastic and spirit from the hospital.  The sky was clear at that time; a dark blue membrane covering what could have been the day light; stars visible and blinking at regular intervals. The moon was clear as a golden dish; and just as my father has always told me back when I was a child, there was a faint trace of a rabbit.

“What do we do now?” He chimed then, sounding drunk. He was still smiling, which was strange, way too strange for Kim Sung Gyu; the shine of his eyes was confusing me.

“I’ll go home” I told him. Trying to ignore his strange behavior.

“Okay, I’ll take you there…but first…” he added, and I realized that we had finally reached his vehicle. Its darkness shined under the moonlight, giving out the vibe of a magnificent horse of a brave knight. It was a strange thought, honestly, given that the brave knight himself was there, standing before me, seemingly drunk, leaning against the shining surface of the vehicle

“You’ve got to tell me something”

I froze for a moment, hands clenching involuntarily on my either sides, heart beating heavily in my throat.

For a moment, I thought he was about to do what I always wished for him to do, to tell me what I wished to hear, to show me what I wished he soon would; but instead, he gave me a smile, pressing his palms against the bonnet.

“The person you said you liked; it’s me, right? I’m the person whom you fell for…am I right?”

Everything began to tremble around me, as though I was put into a glass container which was vulnerable to break; no, I had been engulfed in those glass walls for so long and he, Kim Sung Gyu was slyly, gradually making them vulnerable to shatter and fall.

He bit his lower lip then, that smile slowly vanishing under his darkening gaze. I figured thus, what had gone all wrong.

He had realized what was going on, he knew, but only it was probably what he didn’t wished for;

This very thought trembled my weak heart.

“You can’t love me….Eunji…you just can’t” He said in the end; his voice resonating in the cold wind. It prickled my skin then, and my eyes; I wasn’t certain whether I was crying or whether the wind was stinging them; but it hurt me terribly so, my heart was in so much of pain.

“I gave up on love, Eunji...It’s been so long since I gave up on love,  I…. I don’t love anyone anymore…”

And that was when the wall shattered into thousand tiny pieces, making me vulnerable to his eyes. But I wasn’t crying, to my surprise, I wasn’t.

For the grim determination to unveil his secrets, his reasons was what which came upon me, along with the shattered bits of what I lost.

Sung Gyu was in love, but again, Sung Gyu was in denial of his love.

I'm sorry for the long hiatus, however, even though I said I'd be on hiatus for longer, I did come back because many of you missed this and also because I want to finish this; to be honest, this story is hindering me from something I want to do; thus the faster I end this, the faster I can get on with what I have planned. Sadly though, most of you wouldn't like it. That's much as what I want to tell you about it, so forget I even said that. Enjoy the story for now.

A BIG SHOUT OUT TO SORARIUS UNNIE FOR THE BEAUTIFUL POSTER!!!

I think you all have seen it, if you haven't, please do check it out on the forward. It is so beautiful that I put it as my phone wallpaper too, and that made me so happy too. THANK YOU for recommending this story of mine too, unnie, I have never been recommended before, and I'm glad that my first time recommendation was by you, because Sorarius unnie is an author that I really love. You people check out her stories too! And also she's so talented in making posters. I'm so happy that such a multitalented unnie is reading my story.

Thirdly, I apologise if I hurt anyone wih my previous blog post on RiSe and EunB's funeral wakes. I was just too overwhelmed by something that someone I really despised said, maybe that's why I judged something which doesn't deserve to be judged. I made another blog post apologising, but it vanished apparently.

Fourthly, I don't know if tokyo minute would continue after this story. I will regard my circumstances and do it. Things aren't going very well for me these days; everything backfiring on me, but I'm glad that the writing block disappeared.

Sorry about the long author's note!

Ena, Sorarius and Blues, I love you unniedeul a LOT. All my other readers too, Thank you.

Saranghae.
Achini.

Ps; Something I want you to know, forgiveness solves everything, lord buddha said once; it's humane to do wrong but it's god-like to forgive. Anger over anger only would go on hurting each other; love who angers you, then everything would be alright.