The long awaited final chapter.
Extra long and extra cheesy!

Excuse the fluffy, romantic, cringe worthy moments, I'm honestly not good at this.

idk what am I even writing!!!

Enjoy!
Ps- I was writing this in the middle of the night with my cat sprawled on the computer table, he might have pressed accidental keys; i cleared out all i found, if you come across any, please tell me.
 

Time is indeed an incredible thing. It isn’t a lie that it can solve everything for you, it isn’t a lie that we just have to wait for the time to do its thing. Time knows the best, god knows the best, and fate knows where to direct us; so I realized, all I needed to do was believe. It wasn’t about how fast the time went by but how fast time could change things and make leeway for you to find the life you always soughed after. It’s about falling, climbing and learning the incredible things about life. It’s about pulling through the hardest time in search for the best with firm determination and just a simple thing which needs no effort; a smile. I learned these the hard way, waiting and counting fingers off through the hardest days of my life. Waiting was difficult, and I was pretty sure I wouldn’t attempt waiting again in my life; but life was life, and it was all about waiting. So I guess I just had to grip myself to adapt to it. I could easily get used to change though, for change was constant and we go through it subconsciously and we will be entirely different from how we were priorly. These things, I guess were the big things which we take for granted, things we hardly see that actually exists. And the reason why I am telling you all these is that I too, through the course of three months survived through change and was continuing the wait for my boyfriend to get back to me.

It had been three months since we got together and three months Sung Gyu left to the states with both his parents, leaving things to turn around themselves. Three months indeed did change many things in spite of the length of it; situations changed, problems resolved themselves and life, as well, was picking up its pace. I had already reached the beginning of the next semester and the summer had reached its warmest days. Myung Soo and Naeun had become the couple of the century and he had changed his hair to blond; Howon was dating Hayoung from Yeollie’s and Sung Jong finally admitted his love-hate relationship with NamJoo. Through the course of all these, I sat back and watched the moments pass by, counting days until Sung Gyu would finally return.

He and I were in touch all throughout but we stuck to our promises of not going beyond messages and brief phone conversations. I was skeptical about this in the beginning, wondering if it would actually work out; along the time, however, I found it pretty endearing. Not seeing each other for months was indeed exciting for me. It was like waiting for Christmas and waiting to unveil a treasure of some sort. I did my wait, being careful to not even update my DP on K-talk and such, and we were still talking so we weren’t missing us much. He was healing slowly; though he wasn’t saying it, I could sense it through his words and the way he behaved; not only his physique but also mentally, and I was truly thankful for that. He was working as a college lecturer apparently, and was working on obtaining his doctorate in computer statistics while he was there. He was claiming that he was enjoying it, teaching kids, and by his words I realized that it was what he found his passion in. His rest was indeed doing him good.

So regardless of all that, time was doing me good too. I was happy, appa was happy, and I was getting around things, though exactly not brilliant, but well enough to keep me up and going. I’d rather not talk about college though, since it didn’t come to me as a topic to even talk about, despite that, life was all well, all good.

And then my birthday came around.

Two days before my birthday, Sung Gyu and I was on the phone. It was just around midnight for him there in New York, I didn’t know, I just couldn’t get around with the time differences, and his sleepy hoarse voice on the other side would have kept me up the entire day if only he wasn’t telling me the most outrageous news that I would not want to hear even if I had to drown myself in a tub of bubbling tar.

“I’ve got exams the next three days, no phone calls, no contacts…”

I suppose being a lecturer to a bunch of hot-blooded American adolescents had really gotten to him that he had begun to speak with an authoritative tone underlying in his voice, which I often found quite so attractive, but at that point, not so much.

“But why?” I said, clutching the phone in both my hands. “What do phone calls have to do with exams? It just takes too minutes”

I could hear him sigh audibly on the other end. “Eunji, just for how long have we been talking?”

In fact, I couldn’t exactly pinpoint when we even started talking that night, and his voice beginning to droop and droop may or may not have given me inklings that we have been going on for quite a while; but I didn’t want him to make it a point to dismiss me. We weren’t seeing each other; we were miles apart, and in two days I was turning twenty two. How could I go on for the rest of my life if I wouldn’t get to hear his voice on my birthday?

Regardless of that though, Sung Gyu didn’t sound like he even remembered, let alone knew that my birthday was just around the corner. I didn’t know what I should be feeling about that. Frankly I wanted to spell it all out to him, but then again, I didn’t want to sound too desperate. I was giving him, I have been giving him hell for the past three months and I knew I shouldn’t be doing it anymore.

Though that was exactly what I always end up doing to him.

“Well, that’s not even the point!” I said after a brief glance at my watch. “How on earth could you not talk to me for three days, three days for god’s sake?”

“Oh, so you want me to fail my exams? Fine, I’ll fail it, then I won’t be your totally y professor Kim, whatever-,”

“Does it even make any sense?” I exploded, pacing back and forth in the hallway, a fairly annoyed Myung Soo watching me in the background. “You won’t fail your exams just because you spoke to your girlfriend”

“Oh yes I would” He answered without missing a beat. “Because I would find it very hard to concentrate and stuff…”

“Okay fine” I almost yelled into the phone and stopped pacing down the hall like a lose-headed maniac. “Fine, let’s break up!”

“What?” Sung Gyu echoed, outraged. “What the hell-!”

“We’re over!” I said rather dramatically, and before even he could think up a suitable response, I simply cut off the line.

“Lovers quarrels?” Myung Soo offered from where he sat, finally stuffing his phone into his jacket pocket. He had this mess of white-blond hair which looked kind of adorable and completely ludicrous at the same time, and though I had practically begged for him to change it, he wouldn’t even budge and firmly hold his claims of Naeun being a big fan of it. ‘I look like an American’, he had said, so I told him nothing more.

“Oh you won’t believe it!” I said, hurriedly walking towards the kitchen and locating my bag under a chair where it had fallen to, a very guilty and grown-up Puppy sitting back far behind it. “Sung Gyu is being ridiculous! He says he won’t call for three days, not even a text, he is bloody insane!”

“So you broke up with him?” Offered Myung Soo, making it to the front door.

“Oh yes I did” I said, following him out the door into the insanely warm summer afternoon. “I mean, I don’t want such a-a…”

“You’re breaking records with your breakups” Myung Soo commented, amusement underlying in his voice. “Do you seriously want to be such a drama queen?”

“But…but-I” And I realized that I was all about to say that it was my birthday in two days and decided against it because I didn’t want to sound so childish about it and released a heavy sigh, just as we made it down the slope and reached Sung gyu’s jeep which Myung Soo drove for the time being. “Ah never mind”

We loaded into the vehicle, and I buckled up, closing my eyes and embracing the scent of him which still wafted around like a ghost refusing to leave. It was as if it had possessed the vehicle, and none of us complained. Perhaps we missed Sung Gyu too much.

And anyway, it wasn’t like I broke up with Sung Gyu for real, because we do that almost every single day.

“It still smells like him” I said, as Myung Soo started up the vehicle. It grumbled and made a slow hum as it came to life.

“Yeah it does…” And he gave me a bland look. “And you tell me that every damn time”

I sighed, smiling fondly to myself. “Ah…I miss him”

“And that too” Myung Soo said, sounding almost too noncommittal. “You tell me every day”

It was a fine Sunday afternoon and we were having some kind of an early birthday surprise because Sung Yeol was supposed to leave to his hometown in three days and since we weren’t getting to see him on his birthday. It was going to be at Yeollie’s and was Myung Soo’s brilliant idea. We had Chorong to be keeping him in company while the rest of us planned things out at the said location.

As for SK C and C, where Yeollie’s still was at, the communications firm was taking a long break. With the scandals going around about Sung gyu’s uncle’s money laundering and false documentation, it was kind of difficult to get the company back on hilt. We weren’t sure whether it would ever come back, and Myung Soo refused to make any decisions about it until his brother would return. His noona was promptly staying out of family business affairs, so the company’s fate was completely in Sung gyu’s hand.

Who was having a jolly well time in New York, planning to ignore me on my birthday.

“Who was doing the cake now?” Myung Soo asked as he drove along the lane. It was strange to have him on the wheel in the beginning, but I was getting used to it. After all, they were brothers.

“Not me” I said, if it would make him feel any better. “The girls are doing it, I think. And Yeosob”

“Ah…” Myung Soo mused and gave me a nod. Then there was a moment of silence before Myung Soo started again. “You know…that Yeosob guy, I think he likes you…”

I shrugged and looked out the shutter, at the roads passing by in the pace of the vehicle. “I know, poor lad”

“So what are you planning to do?”

“Tell him, of course” I said, turning my attention to him. “Besides…I think people should know, you know…I don’t want to keep hiding things…”

“What does hyung say?” Myung Soo wanted to know.

Sung Gyu, as he would like to claim himself, was cool with everything. In the beginning of our relationship I actually expected him to take control of things and lead the affair in his way, because most things about him was screaming authoritativeness, however, along the time it turned out that he would just look at everything imperturbably, with a rather open mind. It was nice in every angle and context. I suppose his nonchalant persona was something that I really could live with for life.

“He’s cool with it” I replied proudly, and gave him a look since Myung Soo was the total opposite of him. “You know, he’s cool with everything, your brother”

“No surprise” He said, his eyes dead straight on the road. “I mean, who would let your girlfriend break up with you every two seconds of the day?”

We came around to Yeollie’s to find everyone running about their errands, totally concentrated even with their boss not being around. In the course of three months, nothing much about Yeollie’s changed. The floorboards were still coffee brown, the walls pastel cream, and the employers were still pretty much the same, but only, we’ve grown closer. We were now, a family. Myung Soo and howon too, strangely, were a part of it.

I quickly went into the staff room and changed into my uniform before waltzing into the kitchen to find Sung Jong and NamJoo in a heated argument about what color should go with the cupcakes while Yeosob was busying himself with taking out another batch from the oven. His face was all read, heat had caked his hair onto his forehead, and only he seemed like the one to be doing something productive in the kitchen.

“Why can’t you ever, ever agree with something I would say, Sung Jong? Why do you have to keep on doing this?” NamJoo was saying theatrically, both her hands resting on her hips. “It’s one color, one damn color!”

“Geez, do you have to be so dramatic about it!” Sung Jong said, casually leaning against the table Yeosob was placing cupcakes on. It was weird seeing him this way, sounding all grown up and stuff. To me he always seemed like the cute little girly-faced kid who would plan the most outrageous ways to destruct someone’s life.

“I am not being dramatic! You just don’t understand!” Sobs. “You’re the worst Sung Jong!”

I let out a sigh and went on to help Yeosob who was busying himself with putting down a batch of purple cupcakes. In one way you would say I shouldn’t be hanging around too much with a guy who instinctively liked me while I had someone and make him feel worse. But truth to be told, I didn’t want to make Yeosob feel lonely and left out. Yeosob liked to keep to himself, that much I knew; and though his longing looks and certain actions pretty much explained his fondness towards me, I was certain that he would never bring himself to actually admit things. That was how Yeosob was. People were different, and it was all about accepting them for who they were.

“The cupcakes look nice” I commented as I helped him to keep the warm cakes on the tray in lines.

“Oh” if Yeosob could possibly turn any redder, that was possibly it. “Well, thanks”

“You’re welcome” I said with a smile. “But…why are they fighting over the colors, the cakes are purple and blue, shouldn’t the frosting me the same?”

Yeosob shrugged, and set down the cake in his hand. “I suppose they are just making connections”

“I guess” I said, making a brief glance at the two still getting on with their melodrama. “I hope they will get around things and finally know their feelings”

“Very unlikely” Yeosob said from my right. “Sung Jong can be totally uptight, like, all the time…”

We put in another batch of cupcakes and took out the already baked second batch. Those were blue and their warm sweetened scent wafted around the kitchen. We placed the baking tray safely on the table and began to carefully take out the cakes one after the other. I was on my fifth one, and I accidently happened to touch the burning hot iron container. The cup fell onto the table with a thus, and I was holding my burnt hand, tears creeping up on the back of my eyes.

“Omo!” I heard Yeosob’s voice on my side. “Eunji-Ssi, are you alright?”

“Its fine” I hissed and tried to blow air onto the burn. “Just a little burn”

“Quick, hold it under running water”

I complied and while I was at it, Yeosob ran out of the kitchen to fetch the first aid kit. Sung Jong and NamJoo had stopped their blabbering by then, and Sung Jong approached me with concern etched on his face. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah…just a little burnt”

And soon Yeosob was in the kitchen. He made me sit in one of those chairs, him grabbing a stool himself, and with much earnest concentration, he applied ointment on my burning hand. “It isn’t that big but bad enough”

“I know” I muttered, feeling like weeping myself. If Sung Gyu was around, I would have done so already. I made a mental note to weep to him about it over the phone tonight.

“You should be careful, Eunji-Ssi, Aish! Why always worry me this so much!”

I knew that Yeosob liked me, I knew that he really cared for me, but never in my life did I expect him to have such an outburst, and when he did, I didn’t know what to say.

“Y-Yeosob”

“Ah never mind” He mumbled, dismissing me, gathered the first aid kit in his hand and made it out the kitchen door. I sat there for a moment, wondering what I should be doing right then, and then I glanced helplessly at Sung Jong and NamJoo both of whom only shrugged and shook their heads. I supposed I was left with not much choice, so I too followed after Yeosob to find him in the staff room, sitting on the staff bed with his head in his hands. In slow, soundless steps, I approached him. He lifted his head to look at me, and I could catch the evident quiver of his lips as he spoke. “Eunji-Ssi, I’m-I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s okay…” I muttered and sat on the bed beside him. “I-I’m…sorry too…”

“You did nothing wrong…I just…” He trailed off and sighed out loud before meeting my eyes. “I like you…Eunji-Ssi…and I…know it’s-,”

“I know” I said, and attempted to smile. “I know you do and I acknowledge it…”

“You do?” He asked, brightening up, and I formed my lips into a firm line before I placed a hand on his arm.

“Yeah, and…thank you, really. But the thing is…I am seeing someone right now, and we are quite serious about it”

There was silence from Yeosob’s part, and I carefully met his eyes, patting his hand as I did. “It’s…Yeosob, he and I…we got together after loads of trouble and-,”

“Who is he?” he wanted to know. I looked straight into his eyes, carefully assessing how his reaction might be and retrieved my hand. “Yeosob…it’s…its Sung Gyu oppa…”

Yeosob stared at me as though I wasn’t making much sense and slowly as though he was telling me something he really shouldn’t, he asked; “Sung Gyu…as in Kim Sung Gyu? The CEO?”

I nodded in response. “Yes, the CEO…Kim Sung Gyu”

Yeosob looked confused, lost and outraged by the revelation. I could relate to it myself, because at some point I was too unbelieving myself that it was really him I was going out with, but in Yeosob’s case, it was different. I knew this because I could almost see his mind working as he silently stared down at his opened palm. He was comparing himself with Sung Gyu. Sung Gyu the rich CEO, Sung Gyu whom he thought was tall and extremely handsome, Sung Gyu who was perfect in every possible way, and Sung Gyu who wasn’t him.

“Look, Yeosob-,”

“Yeah, I get it” He said, climbing up to his feet. “I can’t compete with him anyway…”

“Yeosob, please, it isn’t like that-!”

He was silent for a moment, and finally sat back in his place. He took one deep breath, then another and looked up, staring straight ahead. “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have-,”

“I understand you” I told him reassuringly. “But there are things which just don’t go on your way…I tell you this because I’ve experienced myself. Not once, but twice…” I sighed, staring at the coffee brown surface of the door. “That’s how you find the right one, you know…eventually. Sung Gyu and I went through a lot together…we still are going through them…that’s what life is like, don’t you think? You just have to pull through everything to find yourself in where you deserve…”

Yeosob seemed to ponder upon things, and finally let out a heavy breath. “I don’t know…it’s hard to get over you just yet…”

“And I won’t ask you to” I said, patting on his arm. “You would, one day, you will find the right one and get over it yourself. Hmm? Until then…just don’t push yourself”

“I’ll try” he said, and climbed up on his feet once more. “Anyway…thank you, and I hope you will find your happiness with him…”

I forced out a smile despite the guilt forming inside me and gave him an assuring nod. “Thank you too…Yeosob, and I hope you will find your happiness too”

For the next few minutes I completely avoided having to come across Yeosob under any circumstance and busied myself with hanging the decorations and prepping the place up. It was already four in the evening by then, and Sung Yeol was to arrive in any moment by then. Sung Jong and NamJoo had finally agreed to frost the cupcakes in a mixed shade of purple, blue and white; and now were neatly placing them around on a cupcake stand with the slogan made in parchment icing saying “Happy birthday Sung Yeollie” atop. I prepared fruit smoothies with Hayoung’s help (who was telling me about her bland moments with Howon. (‘How does he act so…blank and boring?’ had she asked, and I could only laugh and agree) and Bomi prepared an array of pastries and snacks with Woohyun hanging around being nothing but an annoying cheeseball that I constantly wondered how she was putting up with him. After all was done we turned the lights down and sat around in tables, preparing to surprise the so called store owner of ours.

A few minutes later a loud hustle and yelling erupted from the general direction of the store. Woohyun hurried over to light up the candles on the cupcake stand, and we all stood on halt, prepared to shout surprise in unison, but just as the door pushed open, a well-dressed Sung Yeol barged in, clad in a fancy pink shirt and dark jeans with a birthday cap on his head.

“Woo! People let’s get this party going!!!”

“No Sung Yeol, you’re supposed to act surprised!” Howon’s voice sounded from the hall and he emerged out the door with a face darn straight.

“What the hell! Who told him?!?” Came Woohyun’s voice in utmost outrage.

“That one did!” Myung Soo emerged from the door, pointing an accusing finger at Howon. “Can we please keep him out of all the surprises in the future!?!”

“What?” Howon asked noncommittally and shrugged. “I just told him we were headed to Yeollie’s for a party, I didn’t tell him whose party it was!”

“But you shouldn’t tell him anything!” Sung Jong yelled in retort.

And with the candle in his hand, Woohyun was making a melodrama of his own. “Why do the surprises we plan all go bad? Why?”

I shook my head unbelievingly. Things do change along the time, but I suppose certain things just never will.

After the whole Sung Yeol-birthday-surprise fiasco we all got into the party mood and consumed the food and beverages we made by ourselves, put up music and danced around for our hearts’ content. There weren’t many of us, just us, the café staff and the friends we cared for, but we had our times, we had our moments, we shared our pains and laughters and that was that. There was the significant absence of Sung Gyu though, which, we all knew, could not be replaced until he returned, so after the party had ended and after we had cleaned the place up since Sung Yeol wasn’t exactly happy about having things out of order at his place, Woohyun, Myung Soo and I sat at the pond in the quadrangle with the massive SK butterfly slogan glittering behind us, just thinking of life’s questions. While we were at it, talking and reminiscing good and the bad times, Myung Soo suggested that we call his brother.

“You do that” I told him, playing along my ‘broken up’ title for the sake of it.

“Oh, cut out the drama Eunji, You do this every single day!”

“Fine!” I exclaimed and dialed his number to the states myself. It was taking a good amount of credit off my phone, and I’ve been recharging my account like, gazillion times a day; if not for my job, appa and I would be out on the streets.

The line beeped on the other end, and there was a recording after which I was supposed to wait. So I waited and waited, listening to the phone ringing, after a while though, another recording happened to mumble in thick English; “The number you dialed is busy at the moment, please try again later”

“What?” I yelled at the phone if it was doing any good. “Sung Gyu cut off the line!”

“I think he’s seriously broken up with you now” Myung Soo pointed out with a straight face.

“What-no!”

“See what time it is” Woohyun suggested, and I promptly looked at the clock on my phone. “Eight”

“Well then its nine in the morning for him, he’s at work…”

I shrugged and pushed my phone into my pocket. “Ah, right…”

Woohyun’s hand was suddenly on my shoulder, softly gripping me in comfort. “Eunji, you just think too much…”

I sighed and met his eyes. He was smiling, the warmth never leaving his gaze, and I realized, Woohyun was someone who would never leave his side on my ever in my life. “You two will be fine, hmm? Just a little longer…”

“I don’t know…” I muttered, looking down at my hand. “I miss him so much…he’s just far away from me…”

“Not for so long” Woohyun said, warmly holding my hand. “Not for so long, Eunji…you just have hold on just a little longer…”

I tried to live by Woohyun’s words, trying not to think too much, trying not to miss him too much and busying myself with other things for the next two days. It was difficult, and he made it even more difficult to me by cutting off the line four times in a row, and by the second day, I was fairly depressed; considering ending things once and for all.

I mean, it wasn’t like he was going through a difficult time over there, if so he wouldn’t have gone to the length of cutting the line when I called. Maybe he was finding it difficult to continue the kind of relationship we had, or maybe he was telling me the truth when he said about being busy with the exams. I didn’t know if I should be sad or supportive for him. All I did was moping in a corner, all day long like I had lost all my ways in life.

On the day of my birthday then, I woke up in hopes of seeing Sung Gyu’s birthday wish the first thing of the day. I woke up pretty early and dared not to go through the messages on my phone until I had run all errands i8uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuufrgtand gotten ready to go to school; after I had finished everything, I settled down at the breakfast table with my father who was sipping his coffee and opened my text messages.

There was one from Sung Jong, one from Sung Yeol, one from Yeosob, a several from a few kids from university and two missed calls from Howon; there was none from Kim Sung Gyu.

“Yah, what’s with the long face on your birthday, child?” My father asked, setting his mug on the table. “I made sea weed soup for you. Have some before you leave, okay?”

“Hm” I said, nodded, nodded and nodded, and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I laid my head on the table before me and let out a cry.

“Eunji, what is wrong with you?”

“He has forgotten my birthday!” I whined and lifted my head to meet my father’s concerned gaze. “Sung Gyu has forgotten my birthday appa!”

My father was silent for a moment, carefully asserting me and finally placed a warm hand on mine. “Eunji, I am sure he has his reasons…”

“An exam” I said and wiped the pathetic tears off my face. “He had an exam, he said…”

“Ah” My father nodded as though it was something which could be justified. “Well, he was studying for his PhD, wasn’t he?”

“Well, yes, but...but still! How could he forget my birthday? It’s my first birthday with him!”

My father looked like he was having a difficult time trying to cope with it, so when the front door finally opened up, hurried footsteps coming from the hallway, he began to look deeply relieved.

“Ah, Myung Soo”

“Mister Jung” Came Myung Soo’s voice behind me. “Good morning, sir”

“Morning, morning…” My father said and drained the rest of his coffee before climbing up on his feet. “You two are going together, aren’t you? Well, then, take care of this girl-,”

“Appa!” I whined raising my head from where I lied. “Not you too!”

“She’s having a bad day…just take care of her…” He approached me then and blindly patted on my head. “Have your soup then. Take care, bye!”

And just like that, my father too left me alone on the day of my birthday.

“What are you doing?” Asked Myung Soo, immediately starting his cleaning scheme on the breakfast table. “Get up, we’re getting late to school!”

I sat up straight, my mouth ajar and stared at Myung Soo in disbelief. He didn’t seem to take notice for a while, hurriedly cleaning the table with a determined face, and once he noticed me staring at him with what I assumed was irritation etched on my face, he gave me a look like I wasn’t right in mind and asked; “What’s wrong with you?”

I pressed both my hands on my face, heaved a sigh and whined; “Not you too, Myung Soo!”

He looked genuinely livid. “Me too what?”

I held his gaze just for a moment, shrugged heavily and finally stood up. “Never mind, let’s go”

All the way to the university, and during lectures and even during the lunch hour, I just didn’t feel like talking, or doing anything for that matter. I just couldn’t come around to believe that both Sung Gyu and Myung Soo were forgetting my birthday; Myung Soo of all the people, after all these years…I might as well hit my head on a wall, repeatedly; I wanted to tell him the truth, make him remember at least, somehow. But I kept deciding against it. If this was how my friend and my boyfriend preferred to act, honestly, I couldn’t care less either.

But then again I knew that I was just trying to comfort myself. I cared, I really did. Otherwise I wouldn’t be sprawled across the lawn under the Banyan tree, staring at my phone without spearing a glance at my lunch getting cold. So I was lying there, resting my head on my folded arm, my phone lying on the grass beside my head; I haven’t felt more lonely in my life.

“Eunji…you asleep?” Came Myung Soo’s voice from the mesh of roots of the Banyan tree. I ignored him, because I was deeply maddened by then; and all of a sudden, Myung Soo began to talk.

“Hey Eunji…I’ve been feeling really lonely, you know…I guess I just miss Hyung. And you…you’re kind of drawing away from me and-,”

Great. He’s thinking that I was asleep. He was saying his concerns to the sleeping Eunji. That good old habit of them.

“I’m awake goddamn it!” I burst out, sitting up on my bum. Myung Soo looked sincerely shocked; widened eyes, reddened face and jaw fallen slack and all. Then he called out my name.

“Eunji-,”

“So that’s what I am to you, to spew all your bloody problems-!”

“Wait” He said, approaching me on all fours. “Are you perhaps…on periods today?”

“No damn it, it’s my birthday!” I yelled, practically on the brink of tears. “It’s my birthday and you both forgot it!”

Myung Soo just stared at me, blinked once, twice and simply sat on his bum, still staring at me; and then in a voice too loud he exclaimed. “Your…birthday? God! Is it today?”

“Yes!” I yelled and sprawled down across the grass once more. “This is ridiculous, you guys forgot my birthday!”

“Wait…” Myung Soo mumbled, staring down at me. “Hyung too?”

“Yes he did!” I said, and allowed my limbs to fall lifelessly onto my sides. “This is…seriously my worse birthday ever…”

And before I could stop myself, I was sobbing ridiculously into Myung Soo’s chest; he was sitting awkwardly before me, patting my back like he really wished I would get off him soon enough, and since because he forgot my birthday and acted all awkward when I sobbed into his shirt, I cried even more.

“You’re the worse, Myung! How could you! And Sung Gyu oppa!”

“I will make it up to you!” Myung Soo said, and quickly pulled me off his chest. “I will okay?”

“But-but…” I sank into his chest again, and cried even more.

“Oh good gracious…” I heard Myung Soo muttering to himself, as he went on patting on my back. “Just…great”

Until the end of the afternoon lectures, I didn’t speak to Myung Soo, I just wanted to continue my previous scheme until I felt like it was the time to stop. I didn’t think that point was anywhere near now, so even during the lecture I just concentrated on doodling all over my notes without so much as paying any attention to the lecture. I just felt so forgotten, so alone. I couldn’t help but feel so insignificant; was my birthday that so forgettable? Was I that so forgettable? I couldn’t believe that they could seriously be so bland and ignorant. Sung Gyu of all the people, he was ignoring my calls because he couldn’t sacrifice one second to send a little text message on my birthday. It was completely outrageous, just completely-,

“Eunji?”

I looked up to see Myung Soo standing on my side, a worried look etched on his face. He had already packed by bag, and by the looks of it, the lecture was already over.

“We’re going?”

“Oh” I mumbled and grabbed the bag from his hand. Then without a word I just walked ahead of him.

“Geez seriously!” Myung Soo bellowed from behind me, and he was right after my feet. “I told you I’ll make it up for you!”

“No you can’t” I said, making it to the door.

“Well, at least, let me drop you off”

“No, I can go on my own” I told him, and stomped out of the hall.

A few minutes later, I found myself sitting in the bus stop, languidly clawing at the leather of my bag, feeling totally ignored. I didn’t know if it was right to behave this way, so childlike and ridiculous; but you could say that Sung Gyu forgetting my birthday was relatively even more ridiculous. He was my boyfriend for god’s sake! And we’ve been going on for almost three months; how could he be so…ignorant?

So I was thinking of all the good and bad in the world, comparing them to those of my life-how bad the Syrian crisis was, in comparison to Sung Gyu forgetting my birthday and stuff-when the said person’s vehicle stopped right before me. The shutter rolled down, and Myung Soo’s ludicrous blond head pocked out of it.

“Eunji, stop it and get in”

I rolled my eyes and kept on sitting. “What are you now, a bus?”

“Seriously? You want to keep on playing it?”

“Playing what?” I exclaimed, outraged. “I ain’t playing anything!”

“God fine!” Myung Soo bellowed, throwing his hands in the air rather dramatically and climbed down the car. Then he approached me in two strides and took hold of my hands. “You’re coming with me”

“What? What are you doing?” I fought against his constraints. “This is illegal! I’m calling the cops!”

Myung Soo stopped, completely beat and gave me an incredulous look. “What cops?”

“Cops! You know, those people in uniform who throw you to jail when you do bad things and stuff-!”

“I know what a cop is, good gracious!” Myung Soo was now clutching on his hair like he wanted to pull t hem off, strand after strand. “Why do you have to make it so difficult?”

“I am not!” I pointed out. “You guys forgot my birthday, so what do you expect me to-!”

“We didn’t, goddamn it!” Myung Soo screamed, stomping his feet; and suddenly, everything around me fell silent. So did my mind.

They didn’t?

“You…didn’t?”

“No! Just…” He looked up, almost given up and heaved a sigh. “Just come….”

“O-okay…”

Then we both loaded into Sung gyu’s jeep; soon we both were on our way.

For the next few moments I was completely silent, so was he; in fact, except for the slow rumble of the vehicle, nothing else made any sound. It was like we were in a deep, bottomless well, a well of our thoughts. Myung Soo was driving along, and I was simply watching the road as he did, thinking of his previous words. What did he mean he didn’t forget? What did he mean by ‘We’? The things were all too muddled up and I was too tired to think in turn; I just decided to look over everything and stared out at the passing streets.

A moment later I realized that we were not heading on our usual way.

“Wait” I said, holding up my hand. “This is not the right way”

Myung Soo let out an irate sigh, and when he spoke, his voice was an octave low. “Can you not talk for a minute?”

“But you’re…hey, wait…am I…?”

Myung Soo groaned audibly from my side, and I felt the excitement building in me. Were they really going to surprise me? If that was the case…

I let out a totally fake yawn then, glancing at Myung Soo from the corner of my eye and slumped into the seat. “Ah…I’m totally beat today…I’m just going to sleep…if it’s going to take long…”

Myung Soo was completely ignoring me though, like he had tuned me out, like I didn’t exist anymore, so I just shrugged, letting him have his ways and leaned against the door, watching the road on my right. I was tired, I would be lying if I say I weren’t. And in the course of the silent ride with the streets incessantly passing along us, fatigue really took over me. The last thing I remember then was the sight of a light green bus passing by and Myung Soo’s voice humming under his voice; “That’s right, Eunji-ah…go to sleep…” And I had fallen asleep.

Sung Gyu and I were in his old car; he had rolled down the shutters and the wind was seeping in, we were driving alone the sea shore. The sun was beating down brightly, incessantly. Sung Gyu’s eyes were narrowed against it, so were mine, yet we drove along with the radio playing a song that I couldn’t recognize. Then suddenly, out of nowhere he picked up a cup of Yeollie’s green tea latte with extra cream, off the cream and told me “Green tea is not coffee!”

I looked down at the cup and then up at him. Then I realized that we were not driving alone the shore; we were driving down the Great Wall of China. I looked at Sung Gyu, he was still smiling, and he told me “We are going to Wu Meizhen’s birthday”

“What?” I asked bewildered.

“Jung Eunji” He said, his tone mismatched with his smile. “Eunji, Eunji, Eunji-yah!”

And then I realized that there wasn’t any Sung Gyu; there was Myung Soo and he was on my side, shaking my shoulder incessantly while calling my name. “Eunji-yah!”

With great difficulty, the exhaustion still refusing to wear off me, I fluttered open my eyes and immediately started getting confused. It was dark outside and I could hardly see where we were in the pitch blackness; neither could I even guess with my hazy mind. I could only see Myung Soo who was staring at me blankly, probably waiting for me to respond. I stared back at him and managed to croak out; “Where are we?”

He shrugged and held his hand out to me. “Come on”

Together, we stepped through the darkened path. There were lines and lines of trees surrounding us and music being played from afar. It was quite cold despite it being the summer; nevertheless I held on to Myung Soo’s sweaty hand in anticipation. It was quite clear to me now, they haven’t forgotten my birthday and they had apparently planned a surprise for me. I couldn’t guess what kind of a surprise it would be, neither could I guess where he was taking me to. And besides, Woohyun and Myung Soo kept on getting their birthday surprises flunked thus I might as well keep things straight and do them the favor so I played along. We walked down the murky asphalt, our feet making a rough sound in the silent ambiance; and the path started to get lighter/ Soon we were standing at what seemed to me was a green lawn; a backyard.

Myung Soo stopped on his tracks and I almost bumped into him. Then he turned to me, kept his hands on my shoulders and lowered his eyes to the level of mine.

“Okay…” He mumbled in a hoarse voice. “I am sure you have figured out things as far-,”

“No” I replied, foolishly, and Myung Soo was fighting a smile. “Okay” He said and gave me a nod. “Okay, but just…” Sigh. “Woohyun prepared a lot for this so, regardless of you knowing or not knowing, do your best, Hm?”

I nodded almost too eagerly and Myung Soo ruffled my hair before straightening up. Then he held a hand out to me. He was smiling, and the warmth, I could almost see it, was streaming from his eyes. I couldn’t guess what they had planned for me, I didn’t know where we even were. There was one thing that I knew though; and that was that I trusted him, with all my heart.

“Coming, Jung Eunji?”

I gave him a nod along with a smile to match his, took his hand, and together we traversed the green lawn.

We came across the lawn with lines and lines of petunias planted along the wooden patio and an old swing set of which the swings made a slight creak along the wind. There was a house with walls painted white and the windows of it were closed with the curtains drawn. Something about it was familiar for me though, although I couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to wonder. Maybe this place itself was a surprise so I thought no more and followed after Myung Soo along the narrow stone path.

Then we rounded a corner, coming towards a garden of some sort. However all before I could take a good look of it, Myung Soo stopped in the middle and turned me around to face him.

“So this is it”

“Huh?” I went, confused. “What do you mean-?” I couldn’t continue though, for Myung Soo simply raised his hands and pressed his palms flat over my eyes.

“Myung Soo what-?”

“Ssh…it’s supposed to be a surprise!”

“Gosh fine!” I mumbled, throwing my hands in the air. Despite everything though, my heart was beating million times a millisecond, I could feel my blood pulsing through my nerves in anticipation, so as Myung Soo pushed me along the garden, with the grass kissing my skin through my sandaled feet, I kept my eyes shut tight. I was going to give my best to make them happy, Woohyun deserved to have his surprise working out for just once…but regardless of having guessed, I felt that it was something more than I knew so far. Something bigger and better-

We entered some kind of a hall then, and Myung Soo didn’t wait to let me take my sandals off. The bottoms of them thudded lightly against what I assumed to be marble, and the air was colder inside; air conditioned. There was a pleasant scent of fruits wafting around.

“Myung Soo where-?”

“Ssh…just a moment…”

He pushed me along, and I heard the hustle and bustle around me. If I hadn’t guessed it right before, this was definitely a surprise.

Then we came to an abrupt halt. Myung Soo was still behind me, his hands covering my eyes. I was breathing harder and harder, anticipation rising to the hilt and my ears were perked up, sensitive to all sounds around me. And I waited.

“Surprise!” Mused about fifty voices in unison; and Myung Soo’s hands uncovered my eyes. The lights were back on, the crowd was circled around me, all smiling and watching me with greatest sense of accomplishment. I couldn’t take notice of them though. I couldn’t take notice of anything because I couldn’t take my eyes off the sight before me.

“No !”

“Surprise?”

There was Sung Gyu, Kim Sung Gyu, the Kim Sung Gyu who left to the states three months ago standing before me, all smiles in his eyes.

“No no!” I couldn’t help but scream in utter befuddlement. How the hell-? He was supposed to-? I couldn’t get my thoughts straight, I couldn’t even utter a coherent word at all. So instead I leaped over to him and pressed my hands to his chest, subconsciously checking I wasn’t seeing things.

“, , …this isn’t happening!”

“Apparently it is”

“Oh god! Oh god!”

Sung Gyu laughed lightly, moved towards me and held me warmly in his embrace. His fingers were in my hair, the familiar scent of him seeping through me, intoxicating me; and our hearts were beating in unison like they were meant to do so. This was most possibly a delusion, or else I wasn’t right in my mind.

Or else Kim Sung Gyu had really, really come back.

“You’re back” I mumbled, feeling the incessant warmth of his chest against my cheek. “You’re back…”

“Yea, I am, Eunji”

I pulled away to meet his eyes; they locked my gaze just like they always do, and it was as though we were sharing a message of our own. In this crowded room, in front of all these eyes, a secret, a secret that was us, that only is meant for us.

“You’re ting me” I whispered, all these emotions in me were muddled up, confusing me. “You’re ting me! How could you…be back?”

“I am, Eunji…” He was laughing then so contented, so delighted. He was happy, and there were tears glinting in his eyes. “I can’t believe it myself…but I am”

“Geez! It’s been only three months!” I could hear Sung Yeol yell in the background and the rest of the crowd groaned loudly. We weren’t responding to him though, or taking notice of any of them. We were slowly easing into our world once more. His gaze was set dead in mine, and my eyes were gazing into his. They were the same, the same warmth; the same adoration. I felt like I was going to explode.

“So” he muttered in a voice so low, and took a step back. “Happy birthday Eunji!”

“You’re unbelievable” I told him, still not taking my eyes away from him. “After all this time, I thought you were studying, and you cut off the line and you-,”

Sung gyu’s right hand swiftly ran around my waist then. Promptly pulling me into his embrace and soon our lips were only a few seconds apart. Noses were touching, breathe colliding and making the tiny space between us warmer. I didn’t know how I should respond. I felt as though I was dreaming.

It was the best birthday ever.

“Yah” he mumbled, eyes not once leaving mine. “I’m doing this in a crowd only this once, so you better shut up now.”

“What-?”

But it didn’t matter anymore, what he said, for his lips soon collided with mine with a butterfly touch. My eyes fluttered shut instantly, taking up his warmth, the soft touch of his lips with an equal desperation of my own. There were the cheers, there was the crowd of known and unknown people surrounding us, watching us throughout, but for the first time ever, they just really didn’t matter anymore. Maybe this was how it turns out to be when you were set apart and brought together again. Surprised but frantic, overwhelmed and hearts on stray, completely out of control. I could feel it in the way his lips fumbled for mine, nipping and tugging and whimpering softly in his throat. My hands were in his hair, running through the soft locks in a flurry, the other on his waist, clutching onto the jacket he wore. Everything was so perfect, so real, and so us. There was a loud clatter of something falling on the floor by our feet then, its light pressure brushing against my calf and Sung Gyu’s other hand simply found itself running along the curve of my waist. He kissed me for a while longer and pulled away. But when he took a step back to give me space, he just simply began to fall to his back.

“Whoa whoa! Hyung!” Came Woohyun’s voice from somewhere as I watched with horror filled eyes. He came behind Sung Gyu and got hold of his waist, firmly holding him against his chest.

What was that? Could it be that…Sung Gyu still wasn’t healed?

Though he should be concerned, Sung Gyu was there, easing into a chair, laughing. What was he laughing about? About him losing his balance? If so I was definitely not finding it funny.

“That was a close one Hyung” Woohyun said, and I noticed that what which fell on the floor, in fact, was a walking stick. A classy wooden, well-varnished walking stick with a bronze head, glinting in the light.

A walking stick.

“I just got too excited!” Sung Gyu was still laughing as he exclaimed, despite everyone’s horror filled eyes. How could he be so nonchalant still? “I’m fine, I just forgot it…” He met my eyes then and gave me a warm smile. “Seeing her, I just forgot everything”

I couldn’t respond. With so many things, so many realizations happening so fast, I just couldn’t form an answer at all.

The party went on in full fling; and it was comparatively large scale if you judge it with the one of Sung Yeol. The crowd included all the staff from Yeollie’s, Naeun, Howon, Dong Woo and the twins and a few others from the Underground and some people I didn’t know whom Myung Soo claimed to be from university. There was Sung Gyu’s family too, his parents proudly watching everything from a side, and Woohyun’s mother, who would catch my eyes once in a while.

We cut the cake, which was a massive butter cream cupcake structure with each cupcake frosted in rainbow colors, and we had champagne; the bottle of which Myung Soo shook and spilled all over the marble floor. Then Woohyun spread a handful of rainbow frosting all over my face, laughing like it was the most funniest thing on earth and I had to duck and dodge and run all over the place to avoid a major food fight. Then we all sat down and shared the pastries and snacks Sung Yeol had sponsored with, throughout this, Sung Gyu just sat in his designated chair, chin resting on the bronze head of his walking stick. He was smiling like he was enjoying all of it, his eyes were glinting like morning stars, chuckling lightly time to time, but I couldn’t help noticing how lonely he seemed. I could almost form the words running in his head right that moment. He couldn’t run around like the rest of us, he couldn’t have fun and enjoy but be confined to his chair just watching us. I felt the mixed feelings from before bubbling up inside me. He was still young, but he was restricted to a chair and a walking stick. Sung Gyu was never the sporty, animated kind; but he was always quick and committed; this wasn’t the Sung Gyu I knew. He was probably more relaxed, maybe he was just trying to be nonchalant about everything. But still I couldn’t help but watch his scheme, trying so hard to blend in to a situation which he found hard to.

So after most of the hustle and bustle had died down and after everyone started dancing with the DJ person finally getting down to his job, I wandered out the house, which was Sung Gyu’s family house apparently, which I couldn’t recognize before at first glance, and sat down on the grass in the lawn. Sung Gyu’s family house was atop a hill with a number of tiny lawns around the house and rooms which were more like tiny cottages with gardens of their own. We were at the main house, where the living room and dining hall and the like were; climbing down the stone stairway with the Sakura trees aligned on the either sides, you could find the rest of the cottage-like rooms and lawns. It was pretty nice there and comforting; since the main house was on the top, the wind reached there in a wild rush. It wasn’t that windy owing to the warm season, though; it was cold nevertheless. The feeling was absolutely pacifying.

The moonlight was shining down on me, and since the lawn’s lamp-post was inflicting a dimmed warm light, the moonlight was more prominent in the lawn. I reclined under this light in the soft breeze, pressed my hands on the grass behind me and closed my eyes.

A moment later I heard the sound of three feet hitting the marble ground, and then the rustle on the grass with feet pressing on them. I immediately sat straight and looked behind me to see Sung Gyu approaching me in slow strides, the walking stick in hand.

“Why, aren’t you going to dance?”

I stared at him for a moment, the way he walked and how his expression didn’t go with his struggles and tried to force out a smile. He really was trying.

“Oh…hi!”

“Hey” He mumbled softly, and I watched him helplessly as he sat down on the grass with much struggle. His eyes were closed tight, lips pressed into a thin line, and after he had lowered down, he immediately fell down on his back, dropping the walking stick on his side.

“Sung Gyu!”

He straightened up, finally, stretching his legs before him and held a hand up in reassurance. “Don’t worry, I’m fine!”

I wasn’t satisfied, I really wasn’t. “Sung Gyu oppa…”

He sighed and turned to look at me with a smile. “It’s been so long…”

I wasn’t going to put up with it, him trying to change the topic before even I got into it, so I reached out and took his hand. “Oppa…has it always been like this?”

He gazed at me, still smiling like everything which happened was completely normal. “Like what?”

“Y-You…” I stuttered and gestured at the walking stick on his side. “And that…”

“Oh this…” He said and took the stick to his hands. He was silent for a while, as though he was contemplating whether he should tell me or not and finally decided for it. “Well…I was confined to the walking chair for a while; I took medical attention there in New York, did therapies and stuff. But apparently the ankle had fractured pretty badly…” He gestured at his leg and met my eyes. “This was the best they could do…”

“Oh” I managed almost soundlessly and stared at his leg for a while in silence. I wondered if it still pained, and if his heart pained to know that things had drastically changed for him, and had changed his fate completely. I was afraid to ask, I hated to drag him down than he possibly was already. I kept silent, and averted my gaze.

Suddenly Sung Gyu leaned over and grasped my hand in his. “Hey, don’t worry…”

“I-I’m not…” I said averting my gaze and cleared my throat. “…Worried”

“I’m doing pretty good you know. I can’t run or carry heavy things, but I hardly ever did t hose things before so it doesn’t really bother me…”

I slowly turned my head to face him and found it that he was still smiling warmly, like all he was telling me were his true feelings. But instinctively I knew they weren’t.

“You’re just trying to make me feel better…” I told him accusingly. “You don’t have to-,”

“I know…” He muttered and released a sigh. “I know this…entire ordeal changed my life completely. But it’s not like I can do anything about it now, right? So I just try to live by the rule of looking at things in perspectives…”

I nodded and gazed down into my hands, keeping my silence.

“And my perspectives say that it’s not going to be that hard…besides I have my parents, I have Myung Soo, I have Woohyun…and best of all, Eunji, I have you.” He was eyeing me at this point, so warmly, his eyes filled with adoration and I could feel my heart swell in joy. “It’s going to be a tough ride, but beautiful…”

There was silence again, for the briefest moment as we both reclined and eased into the emotions of what he just said. ‘It’s going to be a tough ride, but beautiful’
I knew it was going to be, as long as we had each other.

“O-of course! I will be by your side!” I suddenly exclaimed, and honestly I didn’t expect it to be so sudden and loud. Sung Gyu found it amusing, the sudden outburst of mine, and broke into soft hysterics.

“Of course you will be…” He said through his laughter. “I know you will” and his kissed the hand he held.

Then we were silent again, Sung Gyu still holding my hand, his thumb slowly grazing patterns on my skin, and we were staring ahead sown the hill as the breeze incessantly kissed our cheeks. The music was still echoing inside the house, through which we could hear the occasional yelling and laughter. But we remained secluded from the rest of them from the real world, and it was nice. I looked to my side and gazed at Sung Gyu, realizing that I still haven’t had a good look of him since we met.

Sung Gyu had lost weight significantly. His fluffy pink cheeks have gone down, and the soft baby fat he used to have were no more. His skin was slightly suntanned and he seemed well built, his arms so firm and muscular than they used to be, which was nice. It was evident that he’s been working out. His hair was straight and in a shade of dark blonde; and like from the day of his last underground performance, he wore eyeliner and a light tint on his lips. There was a darkened five-o’clock stubble above his upper lip too. His side profile was perfect as always, and the very thought brought heat up my cheeks. He was wearing dark jeans matched with a T-shirt tucked under his belt, topped with a black designer jacket and a pair of leather converse. In fact, he didn’t look much like a young, imperative company owner; he looked different, and this was the Sung Gyu I was attracted to the most. I smiled to myself, biting my lip in embarrassment and looked down to my hand.

“Are you okay?” Sung Gyu asked suddenly, and gazed long into my eyes. “You look flustered…”

“N-no! Nothing…just...”

“Mmhm” Sung Gyu nodded, smiling and looked up at the clear dark-blue sky. We could see the moon clearly from up hear, with its spectrum of lights surrounding it. The stars were prominent tonight, shining brightly as though they knew that we would be sitting her, watching them hand in hand.

“You know there is this song…” Sung Gyu suddenly said and inched a little closer to me. “It’s this old thing…”

“Hmm?” I too, turned to meet his gaze. He laughed a bit then, looking down at his lap and averted his eyes back to the sky. Then he began to sing.

“When the blue night is over my face
on the dark side of the world in space…”

He was leaning towards me, I realized, as he sang in his honey-le voice, melting my heart with every word he sang.  His scent was intoxicating me, engulfed in his incessant warmth; but I didn’t budge, though my heart was beating in a pace that I couldn’t keep up with, I remained.

“When I'm all alone with the stars above
you are the one I…”

He trailed off, his eyes locked on me, his breath against mine, and he smiled.

“Say it” I said, knowing that last word of the line he refused to say.

“Nah, can’t”

I didn’t say anything, too flustered myself to form a coherent answer so I just smiled. Sung Gyu who saw my reddened face laughed in response; such a wonderful ring in my ears, reverberating throughout; and all before I could register it, he was kissing me.

Unlike earlier, his lips were gentler and less desperate, as though we had all the time in the world. His hand was on my neck, the other rounding my waist, and as he nibbled and fumbled on me, he was gently pushing me back, and I was falling, just like how I fell in love with him. A gasp escaped my lips as my back touched the coldness of the grass behind me. He was above me, the heat of his chest pressed onto me, leaving no space in between. For a moment, I realized how perfect our lives have turned out to be. True, there were the let-downs, there were the shortcomings. There were tears and times we wanted to give up everything; but in the end of it all, what we had was worth all the trouble. Maybe this was how we find the one whom we are meant to be with; going through troubles we could have never imagined. But in my mind, what always really mattered was the happiness we gain in the end.

And I was really happy now. Lying in the grass under the moonlight of the summer sky, lips being devoured by the love of my life, I was happier. I couldn’t imagine if I could be happier than I was at that moment. But I suppose everything was better left alone for the future to decide.

The moment he pulled away from me to catch his breath, I croaked out to him; “When did you return?”

“On the sixteenth” He murmured, and dips down to trail kisses from the corner of my lips. I closed my eyes in response, grasping a handful of grass underneath.

“Sixteenth? You lied to me!”

He was kissing down the line of my jaw when he replied; “I had to”

“But” I began, now grasping onto the golden locks of his hair. “But the exam?”

He lifted his head with a smile. “I did it”

“You did?” I exclaimed in disbelief and propped up on my elbows. “You definitely-!”

“Ssh…” He whispered and lowered me to the grass once more. “I had to, Eunji…”

And then I remembered that his phone was ringing the whole time, his phone line from New York. So I asked; “But your phone?”

“I left it with a friend” He answered breathlessly and soon his lips were hovering on the crook of my neck. I closed my eyes and tilted my head to a side, giving him the leeway. Instead of going there though, he lifted his head and sighed.

“What?” I asked.

“Surprising you…” He began and gave me one dazzling smile. “It’s the best thing I’ve done for you so far…”

I smiled back at him, in my mind rerunning that moment; opening my eyes after the moment of darkness, seeing him standing there before me, feeling his warmth, his scent, hearing his voice; that wonderful feeling it gave me knowing that the person I’ve been longing for had finally returned to me. It was indescribable, truly. It was the happiest, most unbelievably wonderful moment of my life.

“Indeed” I said, and placed my hands on his back, pulling him gently towards me. “Indeed….”

He was kissing me again, and trailing his warm breath over my cheeks and pressing butterfly kisses down my neck in a gentle flow. I gripped onto his jacket, pulling him more towards me, and through his kisses, he was still talking.

“Your face…at that moment…Eunji”

“Hmm” my eyes were closed, reclining into the warmth.

“That’s the most beautiful I’ve ever seen you…”

I chuckled, tilting my head to the back. “What, my surprised face?”

“It’s beautiful…you are”

“You’re crazy…” I whispered, still laughing. He laughed too, and captured my lips in a soft kiss. He nibbled on them for a little longer, my lower lip between his teeth, and when he raised his head, I placed both my hands on either sides of his face and smiled.

“Say it”

“Hmm? Say what?”

I trailed my thumb along his stubble, feeling the roughness on my skin. “You know what…”

“Ah…” He smiled shyly. “I am not very good at admitting things so-,”

“Why, you said it perfectly well in the car that time”

“…Car…?” He mused in confusion.

“That night…you told me…you thought I was asleep-.”

“No , you heard everything?”

I laughed. “Yes! I wasn’t asleep, I was pretending…”

I thought he would be maddened by it, but no, he wasn’t. Sung Gyu was smiling, his eyes turned into crescent moons. “That’s good then…that you heard…because I’m not going to say it”

“What-?”

“I love you”

Then he was kissing me once more.

Sung Gyu returned to New York after a month-long break since he had to resume the rest of his degree course. He had been on vacation that time he returned, to which I was thankful, and the second parting wasn’t as sad as the first because we could see each other in every way possible. Time went along, and another three months later, Sung Gyu returned from the states. Two weeks later after his arrival, he announced to all of us at a group reunion (Which basically included all the Yeollie’s staff, Howon, Myung Soo, Naeun, Woohyun and Sung Gyu’s friends) that he was making a comeback at underground.

After the news of him obtaining his PhD in May that year, that was possibly the next best news ever. I myself was thinking that Sung gyu’s been away from his true dreams for a little too long, and that it would have done good to him if he focused on other things which he’d really like. It was a good change, and an opportunity to return to the crowd who loved him, so on the first day of January of that year, Sung Gyu decided to bring himself up on the stage again.

Myung Soo was taking it a chance too. It was a cold winter evening that day, and we were in the abandoned train station, huddled in a room behind the stage hearing Myung Soo singing his heart out. Following his brother’s path, Myung Soo too wished to find himself under the limelight. He entered the battle for the first time that year, and as his first stage he was singing a significant song for a significant other. I was sure Naeun was squirming in the crowd as he sang.

“His singing isn’t that bad” I said as I stood backstage for the first time with Howon on my side. Howon and Dong Woo had performed already and were sitting around relaxing. Howon’s kind of relaxation basically included chugging down all the water I had in my hands.

“His quite fine” Howon replied, an arm placed on my shoulder as he downed a bottle of sparkling water. “He’s following his brother’s steps”

“Hmm, yeah” I nodded, smiling at the thought. “He has always wanted to follow after Gyu Oppa, so this is really wonderful”

“Naeun must be having the time of her life”

Then I remembered that there was a time Naeun was a special someone to Howon, so I cleared my throat and tried to avert the conversation.

“So how are the things going on with Hayoung?”

“Hayoung?” Howon repeated and smiled fondly. “She’s great…it’s all good…”

“I’m so glad you found the one…”

“Mmhm” Howon nodded and ruffled my hair. “We go through a lot to find that one, don’t we?”

“We all do, I guess” I said, watching the incessantly moving rays of light. “And it’s really nice…”

And we were talking about families and mundane things when Dong Woo came behind me and tapped my arm.

“Gyu hyung was looking for you”

“Sung Gyu oppa?”

“Yup” Dong Woo nodded and gave me one of his cheery smiles. “He’s still in the dressing room”

Sung Gyu was claiming that he was feeling queasy since this morning. He was a little pale too that garnered my concerns if he was getting sick or anything, but it turned out that he was feeling really nervous to be on stage after such a long time. And then there was his problem; he couldn’t stay standing for too long without the stick because it exhausts his foot so he had to be singing while seated, which he wasn’t really used to. So I he required a little comforting every now and then.

The dressing room of the abandoned-train-station-stage was the old waiting room, which was divided with plastic partitions. It was equipped with washrooms and the like, and air conditioned for the betterment. It was quite a maze though, considering that there was quite a number of performers tonight. It was with great difficulty that I finally located the room Sung Gyu was in.

He was sitting before the mirror when I arrived, with Bomi doing his hair on the back. Woohyun was there too, talking incessantly with an incredibly patient Bomi. The moment I walked into the room, Bomi stepped away and smiled.

“Done, just in time”

With that, Bomi left the room with Woohyun after her feet after a brief greeting of good luck.

Sung Gyu was all panicked and pale when I took a seat beside him. His hair was golden and wavy, parted to a side, and though he had been given the whole rocker look, he actually looked more like a five year old on the first day of his school, he was really so adorable that I had a great impulse to laugh.

“Eunji-ah…” He murmured, grasping my hand. “Will I do well?”

“Of course you will, what’s with the baby face?”

He shrugged and tried to look all cool which ended up failing blatantly. “Just…this is really scary right now”

“Oh don’t be” I whispered and massaged his two hands with mine. “You know, you’re the coolest, most handsome, most anticipated singer out there, so why worry?”

He laughed, squeezing my hands back, but just as I thought that his worries were gone, the gloom returned. “It’s been so long, you know…”

“True” I said, and held his face in my hands. “But there is always a first time, Hm? Besides, this isn’t even your first time…you will be fine…”

He smiled, gazing at me with so much of adoration and gave me a quick nod. “I don’t feel exactly better but-,”

I leaned over and kissed him on his lips. “How about now?”

“That does it” He said, pulled me in and kissed me even more.

It was Myung Soo who led him to the stage and helped him settle down on his seat. There were audible gasps and murmurs going around the audience, and being in it myself, I could hear girls worriedly wondering what could have happened to his leg. Sung Gyu was a star among them, vastly loved by many, so it was completely understandable. But I didn’t want to get into trouble by telling them anything. Hearing the crowds’ concerns and gasps, Sung Gyu proceeded to explain himself that he got into a vehicle accident a few months ago and fractured his ankle and that he was unable to walk without support. There were really worried murmurs going about and fans were screaming for his healing. There was a faint smile of gratification gracing his lips. That proved it to me, this was exactly what Sung Gyu needed.

He sand three songs that night; all three were self-compositions, and since he was the so called legend, he was given significant attention and showered with love. They served him with a special honorary award and gave him the opportunity to award the night’s winner too. Watching all this, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was where he really belonged. Sung Gyu looked genuinely content.

Later that night I walked into the dressing room in hopes of finding Sung Gyu; what I happened to come across was Myung Soo and Naeun openly being affectionate outside the dressing room while Sung Gyu was leaning against the doorframe, looking bored. It was strange seeing Myung Soo and Naeun in their moment, because I really haven’t seen that side of him. For me, Myung Soo had always been the annoying-clean-freak class mate, but I suppose I had just judged the book by its cover. I was also feeling a little down too, because after the night of my birthday, Sung Gyu hadn’t even held my hand in the crowd. He preferred to keep all the affection until we were alone. He was passionate when we are by ourselves, but in the crowd, he behaves almost like we weren’t dating. It never really irked me though, because I kind of liked it that way, but seeing Myung Soo tonight, it made me a little upset. I wanted to be like them, for once. So I made my way towards Sung Gyu who smiled at me upon my arrival and patted on my head. I just pouted and gestured at Myung Soo who was kissing Naeun against a partition.

“Look at those two…aren’t they romantic?”

“Hmm” Sung Gyu tilted his head to a side and simply said; “I got to have a word with that kid”

“Oppa!” I whined and grasped his hand in mine which he gently pulled away. “They look really like a couple, we look like a pair of stupid hobos”

“Why?” Sung Gyu asked, raising an eyebrow, fighting a smile, nevertheless. “You crave for public affection that much?”

“Of course, who doesn’t?”

“But I am very passionate!”

“Nobody knows” I argued and folded my hands on my chest. “Maybe we should break up because you’re embarrassed of me”

Sung Gyu slumped against the wall, looking like he couldn’t handle it and groaned out loud, raising his eyes skywards. “Ah fine!” Then he pressed the lightest of a kiss on my lips before taking my hand.

“Come on, I’ll show you loads of affection tonight, okay?”

Howon, Dong Woo, Woohyun, Bomi and the twins were outside the station waiting for us when we finally walked into the night. Myung Soo and Naeun were right behind us, holding hands unlike the two of us; once we were all there, Woohyun threw his hands over the shoulders of the two brothers and asked with a charming smile of his; “We’re toasting for the two brothers tonight! Wanna hit the bar?”

Myung Soo agreed, Naeun just the same, and just as I was about to agree, Sung Gyu piped in.

“You guys go ahead, we’ve got to go somewhere”

I turned to him in surprise. I honestly didn’t know that we had plans.

“Ayee Hyung!” Woohyun nagged loudly. “You’re like the star of the day! You must come!”

“Totally!” I added, ignoring Sung Gyu pulling at my sleeve. “This is a moment to celebrate! Besides we don’t-!”

“No we do!” Sung Gyu said, and I turned to give him a look. He seemed indifferent, though I had no idea why he was refusing, and with a smile he told me; “Come on…can’t be too late!”

“What-?”

“See you guys!” He yelled at the rest of the flabbergasted crowd over his shoulder and hastily made it towards his car.

“What are you doing?” I hissed, after he had successfully loaded me inside. “We don’t have plans!”

“You don’t” he said, throwing a disarming smile at my direction. “But we certainly do”

The place he happened to have all these so called plans of his at was apparently his apartment minus-Myung Soo, and the so called plan of his was, well, coffee and cuddling which really wasn’t a big deal to skip toasting with the guys.

“Seriously oppa?” I asked as he made it towards the Kitchen, undoing his jacket on the way and throwing it to the couch. Myung Soo definitely wasn’t going to like it. “Coffee and cuddling over Soju is so underrated!”

“But you wanted affection” He pointed out, keeping a kettle of water to boil on the stove. “How could I give affection if we go celebrate?”

“I wanted public affection” I mumbled, feeling a little dejected. “We could have cuddled tomorrow!”

“Cuddling can’t wait” He said quite gravely and I leaned against the counter. He poured in instant coffee into two mugs, kept them aside, and turned to me. “Besides why do you want to celebrate with them?”

“Well…” I was sure turning red under the strange longing gaze of his. It was definitely something new. His eyes were glassy and surprisingly bigger; cheeks were tinted red despite the warm ambiance inside. He was biting his lower lip, which I had never seen him doing before. All of a sudden, Sung Gyu was an entirely different person, a side of him I had never seen before. And involuntarily, heat raised up to my cheeks and my heart began to race faster.

“Well?”

When he spoke, his voice was deeper, and hoarse, almost like…

“I-I…well…” I stuttered and trailed off, pressing both my hands to the counter behind me. Sung Gyu was smiling, his eyes still glassy and focused dead straight on me. Then he took a step towards me. “You know…we can celebrate on our own…”

It took me a moment to register that he had trapped me between the counter and his hands on the either sides of me, his face mere seconds apart. His breath was on me, mixing with mine, and the scent of him had never been more intoxicating to me. He standing there was an irresistible presence; slowly I came to realize where his plans were leading to.

“Sung Gyu…” I whispered, not sure if I should stop him and squirm my way out or let him have his ways. We have been dating for quite a while now, and we definitely understood each other enough. I wasn’t the conservative kind either; Sung Gyu was, and it was surprising to have this coming from him. Not that I really mind, in fact, before even I could protest myself, I was easily giving in.

Because I wanted it; just as much as he was willing to give it, I wanted it.

Soon his hand was cupping my face, the other still gripping onto the head of the walking stick and the cabinet’s edge for support. I stared into his eyes, finding the glassy shine of them extraordinarily beautiful, and closed my eyes when his thumb brushed across the trembling lower lip of mine.

“Eunji…you’re so…ing beautiful…”

I could only hum in response, my body responding to his feather light touches on my skin. His hand wanders all over me, from my eyes to my lips and southward, feeling every inch of me; I couldn’t help but recline in all the new emotions he was giving me. Soon after, he lips pressed on mine; deep, hard and desperate; pulling them apart hastily as though we were running out of time. I respond to him, giving him the leeway to explore me. And he does, making every single cell inside me go warmer and frantic until I couldn’t take it anymore. I could only respond with whimpers as his tongue found its way. He was pushing me further and further against the cabinet, and in reflex I push myself upwards and perched down on the cabinet’s cold surface. Sung Gyu trails his lips southward then, his freehand feeling all over me, and soon I could hear him release the walking stick; the sound of it falling on the floor echoed throughout the silent apartment, and then only my haggard breathing was heard. Just as his hand began to slide up under my skirt, feeling the warm skin of my thighs I realized that we weren’t going to do much coffee and cuddling tonight.

I pulled away from him, gently pushing him away with both my hands on his chest. He looked surprised, despite having his skin being tinted pink, his breathing was as haggard as mine, and the glassy shine still haven’t left his eyes.

“Should I…should I stop?”

“Ssh no” I whispered and trailed a finger along his lips. His hands were on the either sides of me once again, and it took me long enough to register that he was standing, and that he couldn’t keep his balance for too long. “Myung Soo wouldn’t like it if we do things on his counter…”

“H-huh?”

“T-to the room…”

Sung Gyu looked up at me, worry etched on his face and slowly mumbled, almost to himself; “B-but I can’t…carry you…”

I laughed and squeezed his shoulder affectionately. “I’ve got two legs, I’ll walk”

He was silent then, as though pondering me response, but I wasn’t really waiting for his answer. I wanted this.

“Come on” I said and slid off the counter top. But he had to keep on resting his hands on the counter edges, if he moved he would fall, realizing this, I asked him to wait and ducked under his hand.

“This is crazy...” Sung Gyu mumbled, chuckling to himself. I laughed too, trying to locate the walking stick in the darkness; once had found it I pushed it into his hand and turned around to turn off the stove. But when I turned back to him, he was watching me unsurely, hand tightly gripping onto the stick. He was worrying, he was thinking too much, and I didn’t like it.

“Hey-,”

“Eunji…we shouldn’t-,”

“Ssh…don’t” I said and gently kissed him on his lips. “Don’t….we will be fine…”

“Are you sure?” His voice was only a hoarse whisper as he spoke, despite what he said I was finding it undeniably attractive. I just couldn’t hold on any longer.

“Positive” I said, and took his hand in mine. “Come on…we’ve got lot to celebrate”

After we had slowly made it to his room, my pace matching to his, he brought me inside, closed the door behind us and pressed me against the wall beside it.

“You’re amazing Eunji” He was telling me, that, and lots of things, devouring me in a way that he had never done to me before. His warmth was something I hadn’t experienced before, and the sound of his breath was melodious for me. His scent was all I could feel, his voice was all I could hear and he was all I could see through my hooded eyes. He was perfect at that moment, and I was too. We might not have been perfect, but that moment, for me was the most perfect I had ever encountered. I was contented, so was he, and when one thing escalated to another, all I could think of was how significant we were for each other, just how much we’ve become the reason and the meaning to breathe again. This was us, him and I becoming one, and nothing could be more perfect than that.  

The wind chime behind us was tingling along the breeze, and reclining in the gentle sound, Sung Gyu and I marked the meaning of our love.

And at that very moment, we were perfect as just as we were.

The ending will come soon.
Good news is, it's not going to be as long.

Thank you for reading!

Loads of love,
Achini