So I was thinking, long update? Or double update? Resorted to long update in the end. Enjoy!

Ps; Teeny little request, can someone give me an upvote? I know its too much to ask for but thirteen upvotes is making me a littlt uncomfortable...

There are the kind of moments where you think you don’t know something when deep underneath you really do know it. These kind of moments are really frustrating, especially given that the truth hardly ever would come to the surface; but at most times, you wouldn’t even know it that you really know the truth, only to realize it ultimately that you have known it all alone.

This was the kind of a moment that I had when Woohyun sat me on the table of the fourth umbrella when I was all about to collapse in realization that I had known it all alone. I didn’t know how and why it happened that way, that I overlooked the details that I must have seen and observed instead; when he revealed to me the simple truth of it, I realized how bland and oblivious I had been all along, how I had, yet again judged it all wrong, and worse of it all was that this would simply mark the biggest mistake of my life.

But the truth was all twisted that quite possibly I never knew or even had an inkling to it the first place. The truth was very well concealed that I could have hardly realized with the naivety of my mind. But seeing now, I saw the depths of how grave my mistake was.

If I ever knew the truth, I would have solved this labyrinth long before now. Or maybe, my not realizing it was what which made it a labyrinth the first place. It all made sense to me now.

“How do you feel?” Woohyun asked, resting his chin on his folded arms, looking as cheerful as ever. “You haven’t even heard half of it and here you are, overreacting”

I lifted my head from where it rested flat on the table and turned to look at Woohyun. He was right, maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I never really knew about it.

But how could I kid myself when I most certainly was aware of it deep underneath?

With a groan, I dropped my face into my hands once more.

“Refreshments anyone?” Came Sung Yeol’s voice from somewhere, and I raised only my eyes to see him standing there at the foot of the stairs, smiling widely as would a waitress, with a tray carrying two glasses of green tea latte. I wanted to bury myself in a hollow hole. How could have I not seen it?

“Yes, please. Eunji doesn’t seem well…”

“How could I?” I exclaimed, and sat up straight. “This is all messed up !”

Woohyun laughed just as Sung Yeol approached the table and placed the tray on it. “We did very well, didn’t we Sung Yeol?”

“Yes indeed!” He replied, and joined the laughing session. “You don’t know how hard it was to hide it…this woman literally ran after you!”

“Oh shut up” I said begrudgingly. I wasn’t feeling a least bit happy, honestly. I felt like I had been telling everyone a great big lie more than feeling tricked. I couldn’t understand why I even felt that way, it was supposed to be a ‘chase’ anyway. Maybe all that happened to me was doing no good to my brain, maybe I was still trying to accept it that what I knew wasn’t indeed the truth, or what I thought I knew.

Maybe I knew nothing at all.

“But to be honest, I was convinced for a while too” Sung Yeol said, placing the two cold glasses before each of us. “If you never told me, I would have messed it up”

“Luckily” Woohyun said, and proceeded to spoon out the whipped cream. He turned to me then, that annoying grin never leaving his face. “Ready to hear the rest of it?”

I groaned in response, but I had no choice but oblige.

The whole secret admirer thing had been a totally messed up, twisted plan, apparently, which I had and had not known all along. It was so twisted that it hurt my brain half way through and so unbelievable that they even pulled off something of the sort. Maybe it’s just fair to admit that I didn’t know it after all.

The secret admirer had been not only one person, but two. Both Woohyun and Sung Gyu had been behind it, misleading me all from the beginning. The best bit of it was that Sung Gyu knew not even half of what he was doing while Woohyun, being the angel he was, conducted it skillfully all behind his back. Somehow, Sung Gyu had fallen into the trap, writing the letters to me under Woohyun’s supervision, putting down the ideas that Woohyun had been giving him in his own thoughts, in his words which ultimately landed in my hands in the form of a letter.

Yes, that’s right. It had been Sung Gyu who wrote to me the letters, it making him literally the secret admirer.

The fact could have made me leap up in the air in delight if it hadn’t been any obvious to me. What had really gone wrong there was that I was refusing to believe that it was Sung Gyu I heard there, not anyone else. It couldn’t have matched Woohyun’s words, though they were the kind of things Woohyun would have said, for whom I was hearing there was Sung Gyu and his heart. If only I ever saw him as an option, I could have just guessed it, now it seem so obvious to me.

I had been such a fool.

The intentions, however were the most mind boggling of all.

I clasped my hands together, nervously squeezing my fingers as Woohyun began to enthrall me with his tale…as he claimed it to me, my very twisted love story. The phrase itself was capable of making me cringe.

“So what happened was very simple, Eunji,” he began and downed a mouthful of the drink. “In a nutshell, Sung Gyu hyung was trying to set you and me up and while I was trying to set you and Sung Gyu hyung up, the latter plan really worked out, am I not an angel?”

He was an angel, honestly, I couldn’t agree more but I didn’t dare say it, I was too embarrassed to. But what surprised me was that Sung Gyu actually wrote the letters, until towards the end.

“Simple” He said when I asked, and gave me a smile. “I made him write them quite a while ago. I mean, not too early otherwise we won’t be catching up with you, but early enough because I sort of guessed he would go back to the shell…”

“The…shell?” I asked, and Woohyun nodded in retort. “The shell…what he’s doing now”

“Oh…” I replied thoughtfully. “That’s what you call it? He’s done it before?”

“Once” He admitted, and looked out the patio fence like he was thinking. “It wasn’t a very serious one, but there was this girl back in college…I guess he liked her too, and she was obsessed. When she confessed, he went into the shell…” he shrugged then, still looking away, and sighed. “I think she got married afterwards…her name was Soyu….but that was okay” He looked at me, finally, and returned to that silly grin of his. “You’re not going to do anything the sort, I suppose?”

“Never” I said before I could help myself.

Woohyun chuckled. “I thought so”

He continued telling me the story, about how he lured Sung Gyu into writing the letters to me behalf of him and how Sung Gyu would do anything for him and take all the risks without hesitating. At this point I wanted to tell him that it was all for his condition, his greatest weakness but I didn’t dare to, for he obviously wasn’t taking advantage of Sung Gyu’s concern and affection; it was scarcely something between the two friends where I had no say in. He also told me about how things gradually changed, shifting routes, how the letter writing became more of Sung Gyu’s thing than his.

“It was then that I realized something was quite off there” Woohyun went on, his eyes focused on the fluffy cream in his glass. “Sung Gyu hyung hardly ever gets attached to such…abstract things, he wasn’t the kind to go on doing something if he’s not emotionally connected to it. If you remember the times that the letters never came by? It was when I was either busy with other things or I was busy observing Sung Gyu hyung…” He smiled at himself, more likely, and went on. “The latter, mostly. And so I realized-,” He looked up and met my eyes. “Oh, why don’t I set Gyu hyung and Eunji together?”

“How did that happen?” I asked, holding up my hand.

“How did what happen?”

“How did you suddenly begin ‘shipping’ Sung Gyu and me?”

Woohyun looked at me as though I had grown a pair of horns and laughed. “Oh silly girl….you two must be the most obliviously obvious couple ever to exist on earth!”

“Eh?” I was not following him quite.

“You, Eunji, was so transparent. Have you seen how you react when you’re with Sung Gyu hyung? The best example was the red tie…”

I couldn’t say anything, for when I came to think of it, he was certainly right. I did act strangely about the red tie.

“You both overreacted there” Woohyun continued, sounding amused. “Hyung called me up late at night and blasted me”

“Oh god!” I couldn’t help but burst in laughter. “He did?”

“Yup” Woohyun answered as though it was completely normal. “He was telling me something about not butting into his business and…” He made a face and tilted his head. “’You better think of building your own love-life, Nam Woohyun’?”

I stopped laughing almost too soon and closed my eyes tightly. I did it, yet again; I was overlooking things once more. Things weren’t exactly the way they were supposed to be, as far as I knew it. I loved Kim Sung Gyu, and he loved me in return, but there were the loopholes which I were certain that I would never be able to fill. Woohyun was just one of them, which I should never take as granted; he was the man whom Sung Gyu was trying to push me to, and in that, I was still uncertain of, was what it brought in result. Was Woohyun affected? Was Woohyun hurt? Did Woohyun fall for me ultimately? Those were the unanswered questions which still hovered in the air around me like silent whispers. And owing for that, I could not sit and pretend like things never happened…unless I knew them myself…

And as though in response by my conscious, a sudden memory from our early days surged into my mind. Woohyun and Sung Gyu at the stationary store, Woohyun telling him that he was trying to build his love life…he could have been referring to me; how could have I overlooked it? Woohyun was weak, emotionally. How could have I not seen this coming before?

How could have I refused to see it coming?

Feeling even more frustrated, I buried my face in my hands with a groan. For all I knew, this couldn’t go even more out of hand.

“This is ” I mumbled before I could stop myself. “So messed up ”

“Geez…what’s so upsetting now?”

“You” I replied, without thinking further. “Sung Gyu was trying to set you and me up; that’s why he agreed to write the letters the first place right?”

Woohyun nodded slowly, looking confused, probably of what I was trying to get at.

“Why did you want him to write to me, Woohyun? Did you by any chance…like me?”

Woohyun was silent for a moment, and I almost jumped into the conclusion that it was the answer he was giving me; but when I was all about to up and respond, Woohyun finally retorted with a smile.

“I was attracted to you…yes, but it was only a one-time thing”

I opened my mouth to speak, say something in response, but nothing came out; in end however, I managed to mutter, “A…one-time thing?”

Woohyun nodded and gave me a grave look. “Love and attraction are two different things, Eunji. I wasn’t in love with you…I was just attracted to you, attracted to how beautiful you were…”

I was yet again, speechless that all I could do was wait, urging him to continue.

“But how Sung Gyu hyung saw you was different. He couldn’t stop talking about you!”

“He couldn’t?” I muttered in utter surprise.

Woohyun was grinning widely as he shook his head. “I am sure he was trying to tell me all the good things about you and lure me into liking you more, but what I eventually realized was that it was more of his thing, you were more of his thing. More than trying to push me to you by telling all the wonderful things about you, Gyu hyung was speaking his heart out to himself” He looked away then, his eyes distant but content; almost dreamy. “I’m sure he never even realized it…”

“So you just-,?” I prompted him to continue.

“Fell out of it. I just saw that he deserved you more than I did, what with his past and all…” He sighed and turned to face me. “You don’t have to go all gaga over it now, princess, I’m alright!” He was grinning again, wide and joyous; almost too happy that it seemed a little creepy to me. His eyes moved beyond me then, somewhere behind me, and when he spoke, I didn’t need anything more as an inkling to realize what was going on.

“I am building my love life actually” He said, his voice low and dreamy. “And it’s going pretty well…very pretty well…”

Feeling a giggle coming up my throat which I should somehow stifle down to a cough, I turned around, slowly. What I happened to see before me was Yoon Bomi, the really pretty waitress with a gorgeous pair of eyes which I’d give anything to have for myself, cheerfully chatting away with one of the customers, holding an empty tray with both her hands; totally oblivious of Woohyun who was staring at her like everything else around him had melted into a blur. I could have leaped up in the air in content, seeing that one of my biggest fears had simply gone on its way. Maybe Woohyun wasn’t that so weak and sentimental after all; well, he was indeed sentimental, judging by how he was watching every movement she made with such distant, passionate eyes; but he certainly wasn’t as weak as he appeared to be. He was strong enough to understand what attraction and love was, he was strong enough to differentiate between attraction and attachment, and that, for me was more than enough to sooth my troubled heart.

I turned back to him, and he quickly snapped back to himself, turning red in embarrassment. “I hope you got the message?”

I laughed, quite too cheerfully. “Oh yes, very…and I’m very proud of you!”

He chuckled, lowered his head and pulled on his ear-lob, looking shy. “Why would you be proud?”

“Because you have an excellent choice in girls…”

This time, Woohyun burst out in laughter. He was laughing so hard that his eyes disappeared into two dark lines, and he buried his face in his arms, gradually calming down while all I could do was watch him in amusement. “What was so funny?” I asked him once he was settled down.

“You know, that time after Gyu-Hyung’s congratulatory party, I met with an accident and you couldn’t be my date?”

I nodded eagerly, urging him to carry on.

“Well, later on, I visited him at their parents’ and his mother was telling me, ‘Aigoo, our Woohyun has an excellent choice in girls!’”

He looked at me in amusement, awaiting my reaction. I couldn’t see the joke in it, actually. I was quite immune to many jokes so all I could do was giving him a bored shrug.

He simply continued. “Well, the irony of it was, Eunji, you were Hyung’s choice of girls, even then, not mine…but the ball just ended up falling into my hands; hyung surely never even realized it”

I still didn’t find it funny, and seemingly, Woohyun had stopped finding amusement in it too that he sat back and silently sipped on the drink. I waited for him, since he seemed like he wanted to say more. However, while waiting for him, I thought of what he just said. Sung Gyu’s congratulatory party; that was ages ago. Was it possibly that Sung Gyu liked me even back then? And I was attracted to Myung Soo, and Myung Soo was dating Naeun because he liked me and didn’t want to change things between us from how they were. And there was Woohyun too, whom Sung Gyu was trying to push towards me because he was unaware of his feelings, and there was Howon too, who was attracted to the resident princess. I finally understood what it really was. We were in a love triangle, like those we find in dramas.

We were literally like those characters from a sappy old drama for desperate housewives to watch in the noon when they’re bored; just like Sung Gyu told me the other day. He’d been right, so right that I eventually felt like laughing out loud. I didn’t, luckily, because if I did, Woohyun would get all curious and I would have to tell him the embarrassing discovery I made. Fortunately he wanted to get back to our initial discussion.

“So getting back to where we were” He began, giving me a strange look. I was sure I had a pretty weird face just now. He continued, regardless. “I am no longer attracted to you, you’re like a long lost sister to me, now, and I like it that way…so you don’t have to worry about anything. I made it possible for Sung Gyu to make his way to you through the letters, and I’m sure he unconsciously did his part-that’s just how he is-and now it’s time for you to do your bit to bring the-,” He gestured with his hands, making an imaginary rainbow. “Happy ending…”

I leaned towards him, determined to hear the rest. Woohyun had a better plan than Howon did, obviously, and I was certain it had prospects of working out. “So what do I need to do?”

He gave me a serious look. “You have got to tell him that you know he wrote the letters”

I sat back, surprised. “What, really?”

He nodded. “He doesn’t know that I met with you today though, the last one he wrote was the one you got before this…so you have to tell him everything, the truth, but make sure to tell him that you felt all from the beginning that it was him”

I nodded, eagerly, realizing that I should have known it all along.

“Tell him everything, tell him that you feel that he liked you…get him to understand, somehow. He just needs that push…and later on, we can lure him to tell you his story…later on”

“His story…” I mumbled, more to myself. “The Chinese girl who’s good at embroidery”

Woohyun stared at me, looking shocked. “So you heard about Wu-Meizhen?”

I stopped dead, dumbstruck. Inside me that tiny voice was singing to me, on and on; you got a clue, Eunji, you got a clue…

“So…that’s her name?”

Woohyun looked quite dubious, and finally he pulled back, rubbing his face. “I thought he mentioned to you…”

“No” I shook my head. “I figured it out…” I hesitated a bit, and curiously, I asked again. “So her name is Wu….?”

Woohyun was silent for a while, as though contemplating, and finally replied. “Meizhen”

Sung Gyu…Meizhen…Meizhen. It was such a beautiful name, I couldn’t help it but feel so envious. It was such a gorgeous name that I ended up wondering how beautiful she must have been. Pristine white skin, a long dark mane of hair, gorgeous starry eyes…she probably wore those pretty head bands and nice long dresses like they wore in Chinese dramas. And lots of make up too. I could literally imagine her on one of those elegant boats, floating on the silvery water of some Chinese river, wearing a long satin dress, picking lotuses…since Sung Gyu was rich and all, Meizhen was probably a daughter of a Chinese lord of some sort, maybe she was a princess…’Princess Wu-Meizhen’

I suddenly felt so envious and dejected. I was probably no match for her. She must have been so pretty and elegant and here I was, looking more like a hobo.

But then again she was always sad and thought coffee wasn’t tea. I wasn’t feeling sad all the time. This thought only made me feel much, much better. I couldn’t do embroidery though, and I didn’t know Chinese. I was yet again droning over this when Woohyun suddenly spoke up.

“You can’t be worrying about Meizhen, are you?”

I turned red, and surely it was enough of a reply that he chuckled in response. “Well, that’s normal, don’t worry…but I’m afraid I can’t tell you more…We should get Gyu hyung to tell you the truth…you know, he can’t move along with that weight still putting him down like this.”

I stayed silent for a moment, mulling over it, and nodded in the end. “Of course, I understand”

For the next few minutes, we spoke of this and that, mostly about how Woohyun conducted this “chase” with Sung Yeol. He had been the one passing the notes, apparently, and that time when we were moving to SK C and C he had been wondering about having Sung Gyu and I really close to each other, the reason why he asked me if I still wished to continue. He had also been going on imaginary ‘dates’ with me, just to convince that Sung Gyu’s plan was going well (Because Woohyun had him writing the letters a little early) and subtly he had been trying to convey that I wasn’t into him. This had been how he apparently found out that the person I liked was him. He had been devastated for one, I had ‘apparently’ broken Woohyun-the weak one’s heart and he didn’t want to talk about it- and two, I liked him whom I shouldn’t like. And all of this, Myung Soo new not a bit about, hence him being so upset about it. I’m sure he’d be leaping skywards with pleasure when I finally tell him the truth; he’d be happy, and most possibly change his mind about Woohyun too. Regardless of it being a very, very messy plan, I liked it; in fact I loved it, I felt as though it was the craziest little game I had ever been involved in.

In the end, Woohyun gathered his stuff and prepared to leave. I stopped him though, for I had a few tiny little loopholes, needed to be fixed to complete the puzzle.

“What is it?” Woohyun asked, shrugging into his coat.

“Who exactly is the admirer now?”

Woohyun smiled, quite cheekily and replied. “According to my knowledge, it’s Sung Gyu hyung…”

I felt butterflies flutter inside me, which I decided to ignore for the time being.

“And who…” I began and watched him nervously before I continued. “Who picked up the letter…who…got me the piggy notebook that time?”

Woohyun looked at me as though he wanted to laugh, then raised a finger in the air. “That, my child, is you to find out…”

“One more thing though” I began, just when he was about to leave, He turned back to me and tilted his head. “Go on?”

I took a deep breath, and asked away what I had been wondering all this time.

“I asked about that…girl from Myung Soo the first place and…Why is Wu Meizhen…’was’, in all contexts?”

He watched me then, his eyes darkening, his smile slowly vanishing into a little frown. I immediately regretted it as soon as I asked it but there was nothing I could do. All I could do was pat myself for not asking it from either Myung Soo or Sung Gyu before then.

He final pulled his lips into a straight line, and gave me a tiny, tight but a rueful smile, and replied.

“She died…Eunji, she died…”

Later that night, Myung Soo who was accompanying Howon, came to ‘Yeollie’s’; the former with bleak, angered eyes while the latter welcomed me with a smile. I was still returning from the shock, even after Woohyun had left me for Sung Yeol and Chorong unnie; and surely, it was what which showed on my face which the two witnessed at that time. I didn’t say anything at first; I wasn’t ready to. Instead of saying anything, I simply climbed into the back seat of Myung Soo’s car and even when he advised me to have the cold green tea and the steamed bun he had bought for me, I made a silent decline and pretended to have fallen asleep throughout. It felt all too surreal to even stay awake and think let alone sleep on it. I bit my lip, continuously while having my eyes closed tight, and the warm, silent atmosphere wasn’t doing any good either. I was glad, nevertheless, when we soon reached the hospital where we were to pick my father since he had been released.

My father, being the father of me of twenty one years figured it out right away that I wasn’t exactly in my best disposition. I wasn’t sad or upset or anything, honestly. I was just shocked, unbelieving and a little bit saddened by the Wu Meizhen concern. I was trying to put two and two together while waiting for my father to be done with the papers and everything, and it was hurting my mind even more. I think I was confusing all I knew so far, entangling them that nothing made sense. I thought back to the distant memory of Myung Soo telling me about locking himself up in the room for days and suicide and tried to connect it with what I have learned new. Two concluding thoughts formed in my mind. Was it that Wu Meizhen committed suicide and Sung Gyu was unsettled by it? Or was it that she died some other way and he got saddened which led him to attempt suicide in his room and lock himself up in there for days? Both the assumptions seemed to make sense to me that I couldn’t think of what could be right. Honestly, all that assuming and thinking took more power of my brain than I usually invest that I felt really tired and worn out. Thus I was silent, halfway the ride back home; halfway through, however, while my father was asleep in the front seat and Myung Soo on the wheel, Howon proceeded to ask.

“Oh! I was meaning to ask you, Myung Soo said you went to meet the…umm…secret admirer…”

I shrugged, honestly, they should be warning me before they begin to ask me all those…crucial things.

“Hmm” I replied, and leaned on the door.

“So…what happened? Why do you look so down? Was the guy not good looking-?”

“It was Woohyun” I said without thinking, before he could say anything anymore insensible. I could almost see Myung Soo’s ears perk up and by my peripheral view, I could see his fingers curling up on the steering wheel. He had warned me before, to not to give the yes and leave his brother hanging so at that time, I got quite excited to break the news to him. Not without leaving him floppy for a moment, of course. I wanted to see his reaction.

“Oh…” Howon said after a moment of silence, which felt to me as though they were using to show me their sympathy. “Well…that’s….” He trailed off, and Myung Soo began. “I told you Eunji, I told you, didn’t I? I told-,”

I didn’t need much to sense that he was beginning to be all angry and paranoid over something as trivial as this as he usually did, so I added, quite firmly; my voice distant and resonant in the silent inside of the car.

“Who came to see me; it was Woohyun. But here’s the strange thing he told me…”

I waited for the reaction, earnestly, and I could see them both turning to look at me over their shoulders.

“What?” Myung Soo asked, Howon said nothing and waited. So I said,

“He told me that the secret admirer is Kim Sung Gyu”

Myung Soo suddenly swore loudly and hit the break so hard that I ended up with my face flat on the seat before me and even my father had awoken with a startle, his eyes widened in horror.

“Son! Drive slowly will you!”

“Sorry” muttered Myung Soo, his eyes fixated on me on the rear view mirror. He hadn’t hit anything luckily, and soon he resumed to drive while I tried my best to not to laugh.

“Good heavens, Good gracious!” Howon was saying, as though he saying it would finally help things to make sense to him. “How did it even happen?”

“Long story” I replied, watching my father nodding off once more. “It’s a strange, long story…”

“But are you sure he’s telling the truth?” Myung Soo asked, sounding really grave. “Because for all I know, Woohyun could be bullting you”

“Oh well, he was laughing his heart out when I being all serious about it” I said rather nonchalantly.

“But he could be acting!”

Frustrated, I huffed and hit the veneer of the car’s door a little hard. “Hell, he is not bloody acting, it is your brother, Myung Soo…” And rather silently, I added in a giddy tone. “And I can feel it too…”

“Well, you said it could be Woohyun, earlier” Howon said, sounding as though we were women discussing neighborhood gossip. “So it might as well be him; though I said it was Sung Gyu…” He trailed off and silently added. “I still do think it’s Sung Gyu hyung….”

I rolled my eyes in frustration. Were they drunk? Which part of ‘Kim-Sung-Gyu-is-the-secret-admirer’ did they not understand?

“It is him! What is wrong with you people!?!” I said loudly, my fingers clutching onto the seat.

“But he could be lying, you know, he’s Nam Woohyun!” Said Myung Soo.

“Listen!” I said in the end, when I couldn’t take it anymore. “It’s some twisted but it’s your hyung who wrote the letters”

Myung Soo breaked hard once more at the red light, luckily, and turned to me with his eyes widened. “Then he is lying, because hyung never writes letters the first place!”

“He does” I said, matter-of-factly and pressed my hands against each other. “It’s strange but he does”

“Under the circumstances….” Howon said thoughtfully then. “And now I think it’s him who picked up that letter you wrote”

Trust howon to mention the most irrelevant details at the most irrelevant moments. I could only cover my face with both my hands and groan a frustrated ‘Howooonn!’

“The letter?” Myung Soo said, immediately picking up the end of the thread and pulled off just as the light turned green. “What letter is this?”

“Howon, I’ll talk to you about this later” I told him sternly and hid my face in my hands again. As of then, I was deeply considering the wisdom of really crashing the car and stopping the conversation this instant.

“Wait, wait…I’m missing something here!” Myung Soo said, holding his palm up. “What on earth is this letter you wrote that he picked up?”

I was fidgeting at the back, annoyed and completely dumbfounded; contemplating on what to tell him then. Honestly, I knew that I had to let him know everything sooner or later but I had not strength to, I couldn’t bring myself to make that decision any yet. I was certain that Myung Soo hadn’t completely gotten over it and this new detail would only add fuel to his unsettled heart. I couldn’t break it to him, not until I had given him enough time.

Howon, on the other hand, sported an idea totally au contraire to mine. “Eunji, I think it’s high time you tell him the truth”

Honestly, Howon could be really bland at times. Did he really not understand it?

“No!” I exclaimed sternly. “Don’t even think about it”

“What on earth is going on?” Myung Soo wanted to know. “What am I supposed to know?”

I was feeling even more distressed and all I wanted to do at that time was to just go home and have a good nap, not fussing about letters and boys in the car at the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere. I was all about to reciprocate with my concerns, but luckily, as though sensing my distress, my father woke up with a groan and asked Myung Soo to stop at the seven eleven.  It was Myung Soo who got down and went because I asked him to, and once he was out of earshot, my father cleared his throat and gave me a meaningful look. “I suppose you’ve made quite a mess” He said.

I didn’t exactly deem it as a mess, to be honest. I only thought of it as a vile fault of miscommunication, I mean, we could have not mention the first letter and pretend that it never happened in the first place. Myung Soo didn’t need to know that I was desperately in love with him once upon a time, he didn’t need to know that we could have made it but we never did. I wasn’t sure whether he’d cope with it well, so I supposed that these things better be left a blur.

But both Howon and my father didn’t seem to understand, thus the next ten minutes until Myung Soo returned, both the men attempted to crack my head into two just because I was hiding the truth from, as they put it, one of the most crucial members of the tale.

“Child, he would be upset when he’d finally know this one day! Do you want this to happen when you two have married and had children?”

“We are not going to get married and have children!” I returned apprehensively.

“Well you will, but that is not even the point!” Howon said.

“Exactly. The point is, now that it’s nearly out, we say it and settle this drama once and for all” Said my father. But really, I wasn’t even the one who started it the first place. If only Howon had kept his mouth shut. True, he did need to know it one day, and for all I know, that one day was yet to come.

“You guys need to understand that I’m the one who’s officially, personally stuck in this ” I said, after the two had dwelled on it for good fifteen minutes or so. “And I need to be a sensible twenty one year old grown-up and solve it myself”

“We’re afraid to trust you on it” Howon said, while my father stared at me as though nothing had ever been any more correct than what he just said. I could see Myung Soo’s lean, dark silhouette approaching through the billboard lights and realized that this bloody conversation had to be terminated this very instance.

“Look, appa, Howon my dear, let’s not say anything of the likelihood of’-through gritted teeth-‘The letter once he gets back, okay? Spear my dear life, I’d never see the end of this, otherwise”

“You’re unbelievable!” Was all that Howon said just before Myung Soo came around to the front door, and after he had gotten in and carefully laid down the grocery bags, he stayed silent for a while, took a deep breath and said; “okay, I know that you guys talked things behind my back…so if that letter is so much of big deal, just keep it. Whatever, I don’t need to know”

I knew this would happen the moment I sent him off to the shop, I knew Myung Soo would start overreacting, but it wasn’t like I had another choice.

“It isn’t important” I said, glaring outside the window and wishing it would be passed onto Howon through thin air. “I’m tired, let’s just go home”

Myung Soo dumped all three of us down by the slope to our house after a ride during which we all stayed silent throughout. I was, as always, contemplating things while the rest minded business of their own; I could see and sense Myung Soo glancing at me over the rear view mirror every there and then but I could care less, at least for the moment until he had gotten over the whole overreacting thing. He was pissed, obviously, that he didn’t even pick up his phone when it rang. He didn’t so much as wave us good bye before he left and all I could do was huff and puff and send Howon off with a good beating on arm for the night. I couldn’t understand how he could be so bland and unaware of the earth, I mean, he could have thought it out a bit before actually saying things. Besides, the letter to Myung Soo was supposed to be a secret, and secrets do not be generally put out on display, even if it could save gazillion lives or something. I really hope he wouldn’t work for secret missions of the peninsula’s defense or anything, I could almost imagine him saying that the prime minister was just around the corner to a suicide bomber.

“That was for what you did” I told him, and pulled him into an embrace. “And this, my child, is for being my awesome best friend. Much love!”

But honestly; despite all his imperfections, I loved him beyond words.

“Back to you” He said, patted my back and let me off. “And uh…though I couldn’t tell you this before, I’m really, really happy for you and hope everything will turn out at its best”

“Thanks” I mutter and smile. Both my father and I stay at the foot of the slope, watching Howon disappear into the night, and once he had gone safely into his house which was only a few feet away from ours, I threw my arm over my father’s shoulder and gave him a light squeeze. He had lost much weight, which was a little saddening but not so much, assuming he had lost loads of fat. I only really hoped he wouldn’t get sick again.

“Appa! Welcome back” I told him, he embraced me then, and pulled my head into his chest.  At that moment only it occurred to me, after all that twists and turns about love, the very first love of my life has always been my father, a love which had lasted for two decades, and counting.

Myung Soo wasn’t exactly being himself the next morning and kept throwing at me those strange glances which basically implied that I had personally been on a secret mission of relic hunting and was illegally withholding artifacts which should be handed into the museum or something. I felt guilty throughout, because he was making me feel guilty with his eyes and everything but I was glad that he wasn’t being persistent. I only wished he’d know that it was for his own good. After we had finished the lecture of Political science, we headed out for lunch together and I successfully coaxed him to have chicken. He agreed, ultimately, with a fake angered face and all, and finally when we were waiting for our food to arrive, Myung Soo wanted to know what exactly happened. At that moment I had no choice, besides Myung Soo knew his brother a lot better than I did so without giving it much thought, I proceeded to tell him what Woohyun told me from beginning to the end. He listened, carefully and intently and showed some kind of reaction at bits he seemed to know. Of course I missed and edited out the parts involving the first letter and all hat, and because of that I had to make up a tale of finding the letter on the floor just randomly. Once I had finished reciting to him the story, he let out a long sigh, stretched both his hands, leaned back, placed his hands palms down flat on the table and thought for a moment. I supposed he was thinking of the bit about Wu Meizhen. On a side note, I really hoped she wasn’t a princess as I had imagined. I knew, of course that she couldn’t be exactly like one from the movies, but come to think of it; the Kim’s were commemorate and rich and all, and it’s most likely that the girl friends, or previous girlfriends of chaebols should be also of the same league. This thought made me feel quite giddy and small. I immediately left it aside, however, when Myung Soo began to speak.

“Okay, alright. I believe you. Woohyun is not an ” He seemed to think of it a bit and said again. “I mean, okay, he is an but not that much of an who’d trick my best friend into ”

“You’ve begun to swear a lot” I pointed out, and jabbed at a piece of hot chicken which arrived a few minutes ago.

“I have. I’m becoming a man”

I almost chocked on my food and really wanted to reciprocate with something which would certainly tick him off. I held back though, because by then he had already begun to speak, like, serious, I’m-so-into-this-big-stuff serious speech.

“As unbelievable as it may sound” He said, looking straight and stern. “I think it’s the kind of a thing that he would do. You know, he really likes to be needed, I think he likes to put himself up by doing good for others; I am selfless, helpful therefore I’m a good person, that kind of a thing…”

“True” I nodded, popped in a piece of salted radish and spoke with a full mouth. “Woohyun said something like that too”

“You’re spluttering!” He exclaimed in utter horror and pressed a tissue into my hand. “Yeah. He puts others before himself; when he gets into trouble he just forgets it like it never happened and say ‘oh, my life’s been too perfect! All it needs is a glitch then and there’ or something of the sort”

“I witnessed” I confessed. “But I wonder if he did it all from the beginning, like since he was a kid?”

Myung Soo shook his head. “Hyung used to be really considerate of himself than now. Thinking of the future, putting himself on the top, giving himself the best…he really liked to be the axis of the universe, the center of attention…”

“Really?” I asked, surprised at this new piece of information.

“Really. Before I came to live there. He’d do anything, sacrifice anything to get what he wanted and get everyone’s fullest attention. He was ambitious in that context. He adored to hear that he was the best, get praised and all that…I think he changed after appa got sick and he had to return home…though I wasn’t around him much at that time, noona said he was really upset and regretful”

“How is your noona like?” I asked, and as soon as I witnessed a flash of annoyance on his face, I quickly added. “I mean, if we take your hyung as ambitious, there should be something which defines her too…”

“Selfish, self-centered and naggy; she praises others and everything but she too likes to be the best of everything…she’s kind, I think… and she loves us nevertheless” Myung Soo explained, his voice distant and resonant. “I’m not sure the accuracy of this though…” He said after a moment of silence. “I mean…I’m not in the position to judge other people and all that, but I think…after what with Hyung’s running away and all, he began to reflect the exact opposite of noona. Noona still wants to be the axis of the world, but hyung….” He was silent again, and slowly began to pinch pieces of chicken deftly with his fingers. “To be honest…Hyung’s always been the better one out of my siblings…you’ve noticed I don’t talk much about noona….she’s just…always in control. Stingy and…nothing like hyung…”

For a moment, we both stayed silent, thinking of all that Myung Soo said. I thought of people, I thought of how they sport different personalities, and how people view them and choose who suits their liking more. Was it likewise with everyone else? Would everyone choose Sung Gyu over his noona because of their personalities? Was Sung Gyu loved more than his sister was? If that was the case, was it even fair? Because, obviously, Personality was never a choice, behavior wasn’t a choice either. There could be instances where people change under circumstances, but that didn’t mean that everyone did, and that wasn’t anyone’s fault. So could it be a basis for one to decide whether they should love them or not? It annoyed me too, choosing people based on their looks, preferences and also their personalities. Why couldn’t humans just love people without choosing, without a basis, a reason and boundaries? Wouldn’t the world be a better place then? But then again, I realized, this was only how I viewed things, and though I thought this way, this particular idea wasn’t the light that everyone else in the world would look in, and if I wanted my idea to be justified, it wouldn’t be fair to them all.

Myung Soo let out a little laugh after a while. “Ah…I got a little carried away. It wasn’t the point even…” He took a moment during which I pulled away from my own train of thoughts and resumed to pick at my food. “The point is, hyung doesn’t know what he’d been pulled in to, or maybe he does and is upset and feels betrayed; he used to be the kind to admit things, but he’s not anymore. He’s too scared to. I think he needs a huge trigger to make him admit that he thinks what Woohyun did was right…”

I picked up the thread the very instant. “Why does he not admit things anymore?”

Myung Soo looked at me straight in the eyes. “Because Wu Meizhen had to happen…”

“Oh…” was all I could say. I wanted to tell him that I hated her whoever she was for all she could have done to him and that she was the worst kind of a woman I could ever imagine regardless of her ability to embroider roses on handkerchiefs and ‘if she was alive, I’ll tell her I wipe my snot on them!’ but I didn’t, because like he said, I wasn’t in the position to judge other people, especially given that I hadn’t even met this woman ever in my life. And I mean, she had to be someone likable, otherwise Sung Gyu wouldn’t have liked her…and he likes me too thus calling her bad would be offending to me.

“Wu Meizhen is a topic that I really despise to talk about” Myung Soo continued, and ripped a piece of chicken with two fingers. “I think you should ask hyung yourself. She unsettled him, very very much and he’s blaming himself, not getting over…” Silence “…not getting over what happened. He should spill it all out so he’d realize it was never his fault so…” He looked up finally and met my eyes. “I also second Woohyun’s idea. Tell him everything, every bloody detail. He needs to know, and he’d feel comfortable to tell you too…”

I look down at my hand and realized that my fingers were crushing the meat so hard that the fat was oozing out of it. I was determined, and my strength had returned, and this time, I was sure I wasn’t falling down once more.

“By the way” Myung Soo said, and I realized he was going to say something super annoying. “I’m not going to ask you about that letter, I am not. Though really, you’re fabricating-,”

I am not going to hear him nag about this anymore.

“I can’t okay? At least…let’s give it some time….”

I hard surreptitiously induced empathy which was evident in his eyes. He watched me for a moment, lone and straight, and finally let out a sigh.

“Okay, fine….take your bloody own time!”

I knew he was being bratty about it but then again, that’s what defined Myung Soo. The Myung Soo I knew and loved.

I met Woohyun at the café later that day. He was interning at SK C and C apparently, since that day and was announcing the entire universe that he was giving the café staff an on-house coffee feast. Obviously, he knew that none of us drank coffee because we were tired of seeing, touching, smelling and spilling it at a daily basis but all we could do was applaud and resume our work. He talked to me, dressed in an immaculate suit and sipping on an energy drink and he too, still, harbored the thought of telling Sung Gyu that I knew. I was glad that the secret admirer thing was never that much of a huge deal the first place for I hadn’t still much gotten over the initial shock. He told me that I should be brave, go knocking at his office and spill it all like a ‘brave woman’ because our prime minister was a woman and because I should be proud of being one and that he was involved in women’s empowerment and all that crap. I was convinced in the end, regardless of how scared I was, to go and tell him the truth once and for all.

I suppose the waiting was even more hurtful than it was to be brave and be lost in the end.

So that evening after I had done my relevant work at the café and had shared light tea with Sung Jong and Nam-Joo (Who were seemingly dating, my assumptions), I got rid of the café uniform, did my hair a little and braved myself up on the lady’s room mirror. I had practiced my lines, what to say and how to look like as Woohyun had told me to. Later on I felt really queasy and weird, like I was going to play a part of a sappy housewives’ drama. I disregarded this thought though, and allowed Woohyun to accompany me all the way to his office room.  

I remembered the last time I left that place with a sudden pang and began to feel nauseous once more. Woohyun was trying to up me by telling all kinds of nice stuff that I really wanted to hear at that time, about Sung Gyu, about me and about us; about how he felt we made a perfect match and it would be such a shame if Sung Gyu kept being so stubborn and all that. So when I had reached the door to his office, I was feeling brave, grown up and much, much better. I was the brave, grown up twenty one year old, fighting to protect her dignity and love.

The secretary, I saw, was in a nearby cubicle, gossiping with another woman in an ugly green skirt, I felt better when I saw her, because Sung Gyu chose me over everyone else. Woohyun said that I was good to go and brushed my bangs to a side with his fingers.

“Okay, princess. We’re perfect to go!” He exclaimed and smiled. I couldn’t help it but do a little curtsey in return.

“I’d be downstairs by the fountain, in case of an emergency, come straight down, okay?”

I wondered what sort of emergencies there could be and felt my face go warm; but he hadn’t meant anything of the sort, surely.

Woohyun walked off, leaving me behind and I took a deep breath, turned around and knocked softly on the door. I was feeling light headed, like I was floating.

A moment later the door opened and soon was a surprised Sung Gyu standing before me. He was on his phone, a stack of papers in one hand and the other on the door, his phone wedged between one raised shoulder and his ear. He got over it the very instant and gestured me to come in and walked away soon after towards the massive panel of glass overlooking the emerging dusk. The sky was of a dull lavender grey with a significant tinge of orange by the horizon. Skyscrapers were making tall, dark silhouettes against it, their brilliant lights were blinding comparing to that of the sky. The scenery was picturesque indeed but what made it even more beautiful was the man who stood against it. He was in an immaculate black suit, matched with a crisp white shirt with top buttons undone and his tie was lying strewn out on his table; it was grey. His hair was pushed back and his brows knot in a frown as he spoke lowly into the phone with much urgency. It wasn’t like he hadn’t acknowledged my presence or anything. He did, like, he looked at me and all. But I was beginning to feel a little lonely and left out.

And just as I started to feel that my audacity was draining, he finally ended the call and turned to me. “Sorry…didn’t mean to take your time” He said and then proceeded to stack the papers neatly into a file. “Can you give me a moment?”

“Sure” I said, seeing that it couldn’t be helped and flew out of the room with the file, calling for his secretary. I waited in silence for a while, watching the lavender turn into dark purple and let out a sigh. I never really thought I’d end up in the office of someone as high up as himself and say the ridiculous things that I was about to say, but then again, wasn’t it relevant? Despite his status and job, he was a man, a human, and humans loved.

He returned after a while, and took off his jacket in a haste. “Had a meeting with the investors” He said, and now that I was hearing him, he sounded very weary and tired. “There were a several pull offs…one or two…we’re in a rather perilous position” He sighed and leaned against the mahogany table. “I suppose many things are going to change soon…”

He was silent for a moment and the clocks were ticking. He didn’t seem like he was in the right mood to hear the kind of things I was going to say, but I was determined. For me, it was now or never.

“So Eunji, how have you been? Is anything the matter that you-,”

“I know everything” I said, before I can stop myself. He looks at me, surprised and perplexed but I continued. “That night when you said it that you liked me, I wasn’t asleep. I was awake, and I heard it all”

He looked bewildered and for a moment I was convinced he was going to admit to it so I wouldn’t have to go deeper into details but he only seemed shaken, and deeply annoyed. Like it was something bitter that I had said.

“I’m sorry if you feel upset right now, but you know…I think you should just stop being really stubborn and admit things. It can’t be that difficult, if it wasn’t back then in the car, you can admit it without being cowardly and silly-,”

“If you know that you’re upsetting me” he started then, and I was stopped instantly. “You should know better of yourself and not come waste my time…”

“You’re wasting your time yourself” I pointed out. “You’re the one still living in the past, you’re the one who isn’t moving on; you’re the one wasting this…this best time of your life-!”

“Don’t talk like you know anything Jung Eunji” He said sternly, which felt like a hard slap on me. Yes, he was right, I knew nothing at all, nothing except for the fact that he too, deep down wanted help, wanted to escape.

“True, I don’t know about your past…and that’s why you need to let it all out. You’re suppressing it all inside, Sung Gyu oppa, you’re hurting, and I since I like you very, very much; it hurts me too…”

“I don’t have time for your childish-!”

“I know that you want to escape it.” I said, interrupting his renditions.  “So why don’t you just say it and get over it? The past is a goner, it’s never coming back, and if that’s where you’re going to live, you wouldn’t even know it when you have consequently overlooked the importance of your life…don’t you see that you’re more important?”

He was silent then and I realized that I had surreptitiously hit a sensitive point. He knew it, I assumed; he knew that he was important. Not only to his family and loved ones but also to himself.

“It’s because you’re important that I’m trying to help. You need to get over your past…you need to live the present for the future and make a better past which you wouldn’t have to regret anymore…”

There was silence again, and I thought of what else I should say. I shouldn’t yet dwell upon the secret admirer issue because at this state, under these circumstances, it was difficult to break to him something so sensitive and I was afraid that he’d despise me for doing that, and Woohyun too, for tricking him. Kim Sung Gyu, in spite of his strong, unwavering and determined persona was a lot more sensitive than I thought. And this was a side that he always refused to show.

All of a sudden, I felt as though I had said all I wanted to say though I knew that deep down there were thousand many things that he needed to hear. I wasn’t sure if it was my strength draining or if it was us pulling apart for the last time but it didn’t feel as the right thing anymore, I didn’t feel like I should be here. Maybe I was here at the wrong moment telling him the wrong things he would certainly refuse to hear, maybe if I had chosen another time, he would have replied; he would have said the kind of things I expected. But I had chosen this thus maybe I should tell him everything that I was meaning to and wait, just wait and give him the time he needed to be alone.

“Tell me about Wu Meizhen, tell me what she did to you” I said, bravely and waited. I waited and the silent moment seemed to be so long and dull; confusing. I was waiting for some kind of reaction from him but he did nothing, nothing except staring at the shine of his shoes as though the answers would break in through the floor. “It’s okay if you can’t tell me anything, you should at least tell someone else. It’s okay if it isn’t me whom you want to lean on but I want you to let it out…”

There was silence again, from his part and watching him, this broken and lost was hurting my eyes; I stared ahead through the glass panels at the approaching night. The lavender had turned dark and the street lights were prominent; I could see the vehicles moving in perpetual lines, their lights bright and blinding. I began to imagine the people inside them; too busy to see life let alone live it. Did they too live in their dreading pasts and not live the present for the future? They say that the past was the root of life but was it wrong to disregard the past for a moment to focus on the sprouts to grow so that new and better roots would nurture?

“Eunji….” He said in the end, and I could see his fingers grasping tightly the mahogany edges of the table which he leaned on. The knot on his brows were tighter and the expression was of someone who was deeply irate. “I would like it if you stop bothering about my life”

I stayed silent and deeply hurt though I wasn’t sure myself if I’d ever stop.

He continued.

“I would like it if you stop dwelling with my bloody future, present or past…if there’s any decision I need to make, I’d decide them myself, I would like it if you stop wasting my time and leave this room right now”

I was hurt, profoundly, despondently but strange enough, the audacity was yet to wear off. I supposed it was because of what happened one night ago, the certainty of his feelings and the fact that it wasn’t a mere dream; the act he was putting up was only something he did to run away from something he wished to escape. I realized, if I would give enough time he would realize what was right from wrong, he would realize where he had gone wrong and need to change routes to move ahead in life.

“Alright” I said in the end, turned around and walked towards the door. I wanted to leave without saying anything; assuming he would eventually come to me but it didn’t feel right. I realized, what I needed to do was leave a trigger and a trace for him to follow after.

I pressed my hand on the door but turned around once more.

“Just so you know, Sung Gyu oppa, I am your present, I am your future, and I will be your past when its time.

There was silence and then suddenly and almost inaudibly, he said to me. “I’m sure you will”

That night I returned home all alone without meeting Woohyun and without wanting to meet anyone else. Woohyun tried to talk to me which I allowed to be a futile attempt and when he couldn’t get anything out of me, he dashed into the building while I went the other way. The wait for the bus was longer than it had ever been; so was the ride home. During that, I wondered about him and myself; I wondered about why I suddenly decided that I would be his present, future and his past. Later on I realized that it was because those three were decided based on the people around you. If you were alone, the past, the future and the present would be no different from each other; it will only be now, and now will always be the same. The present will be similar to past, and past to the future; where you only move along. They would change, have things to reminisce and cherish and have the ability to be defined if there were other people involved in them. Strangers becoming acquaintances and acquaintances, at few cases becoming the most important persons in your life. It was based on them that you decided what the present and your future should be, eventually to become the past. Aren’t we always trying to impress another? Get their attention? Be loved? Life wasn’t always a selfish, self-centered decision, life was almost always a decision for another. We weren’t living out our dreams and desires only for the mere self-satisfaction; what was self-satisfaction all about? Wasn’t it the pleasure we get by seeing how others see us and make us feel? Isn’t that why we strive to be the best so that we satisfy others to satisfy ourselves? But certainly, we never think of anything too deep, too far. That was why we were humans, otherwise we would have become gods. And that was why we’d deem it as our own selfish fulfilment and pain our own, subjective pain. That is why we despise being intervened, why we despise to show our scars because in spite of however might the past, present and the future could be, we’d always think of ourselves as alone in the universe, the sole axis that our realm revolve around. Perhaps that was the truth in the context of a human being. But when it comes to life, though we liked it or not, there was something that we all had to accept regardless of how we might feel; and that is that we’re never alone.

When I finally made it home, I could only find it empty and a note on the door saying that my father was at Howon’s, having a friendly chat with his parents and also mentioning that it was better if I could step in as well. I wasn’t in the mood though, I wasn’t in the mood for anything. I could only feel the pain of being rejected twice even after being confessed to and all I wanted to do was sleep on it, for hours, days if I possibly could. I located some radish kimchi and prepared for myself steamed rice; I feasted on it while switching back and fourth of the channels on TV without having much feelings on it. All I felt was utterly dejected and I was beginning to hate Wu Meizhen even more. I wondered what she could have possibly done to Sung Gyu; someone as strong and resolute to be cowardly and stubbornly hold onto his negative conceptions. Sung Gyu wasn’t the kind to be unwavering on misconceptions; I knew this because I had had a fair share of time with him, and if he hadn’t realized it that what he was believing in wasn’t the sheer reality of it, I realized, it was my job to make him understand. Though it was more or less similar to kicking one heavy rock with clumsy feet. I had to try nevertheless. And this particular thought actually made me feel a little better.

Myung Soo texted me to ask me if I had asked, and I replied to him that I did. He replied the text soon enough, telling me that he was quite busy at the moment and that he’d call later in the night and I didn’t say anything in return. I wasn’t in the mood for long conversations; neither was for Kimchi and rice nor for dramas thus had I turned off the television, trotted into the kitchen and just sat there on the cabinet, doing nothing but thinking of Kim Sung Gyu. Kim Sung Gyu had become the biggest puzzle to me. At one moment, he was the sweetest thing on earth; the next he was depressed, and the other he would become the most unnerving and the most unbelievable hypocrite I had ever met in my life. I wondered how he could even jump back and forth this way, as though switching personalities was like skipping stones. But when I thought of this further I realized, all of this was one personality, one person and that all of this was what made Kim Sung Gyu; the sweet, sad, immaculate hypocrite that I loved.

It was later that night, after I had changed into pajamas and was sitting in the living room with Puppy for my father to return, that Woohyun called me up with such an urgency in his tone. He sounded clear, almost resonant but his voice sounded to be trembling the slightest, as though he was baffled or shocked. For a moment I thought if I could calm him down a bit but then I realized that I was befuddled just as much as he were.

“Eunji, listen…” He said, his breathing loud as he spoke. “I’m at Hyung’s office right now…and we had quite a talk…”

“You did” I stated, and my voice too, as it happened, had some sort of hidden resolve.

“Yes, and he said that there’s something that we need to know”

“He…” I trailed off, and my heart began to pound heavily in my throat. “What-what is it?”

“The main branch of SK C and C will be shifted to China, he says”

“And?” I prompted, fearing the answer.

“And the CEO will be moving out to China as well…”

It must have been some miraculous strength in me which didn’t allow the phone to slip from my hand, but body was losing the audacity which was fuelling me all alone; I was beginning to collapse.

“For-for how long?”

“For as long as he’s the CEO” Woohyun replied and I said nothing in response.

“And he said something else too” He said then, after a while, and I gripped the phone against my, resolute and tight. “What, what is it?”

“Everything…he told me everything,” He replied, followed by a moment of utter silence. “And Eunji…” He continued in the end. “Eunji, it makes sense Eunji; why he wouldn’t tell you himself, it makes sense, it’s just-it’s just fair…that he couldn’t…”

“Woohyun…”

“It’s just…really, honestly-“

“Woohyun” I tried again, and he fell silent at once. It went on for a moment; he waited, I waited, and the clocks ticked in their pace. Finally he said to me with a sigh. “Okay, I’ll come over”

“Good” was all I could say in response.