Bonds & Destiny Ch. 10

               Words That's Hard to Say

                              Sungyeol was awaiting an answer from Myungsoo while studying the older man's face. Myungsoo really showed an unreadable expression. He felt his heart hurt as he assumed the worse. Perhaps he had jumped to conclusions mistaking Myungsoo's affection and care for Myungsol for his own. Challenging his position Sungeyeol repeated once again.

               "Myung-ah...Do you still love me?" There was a heavy strain in Sungyeol's voice. Sungyeol was trying hard not to feel hurt.

               The dark haired man stayed silent in his own reality, until he quickly snapped out of his trance and stared at Sungyeol who now was quickly whipping away his tears and the hurt in his eyes.

               "Sungyeol...I" Myungsoo began, but was quickly brushed off by the brunette.

               "Ah...i..it's ok Myungsoo, I'm sorry I sort of jumped into things, I was just too worried that something could've happened to you...when I heard news from Woohyun hyung." Sungyeol sniffed wiping his nose with his sleeves. The younger man let go of Myungsoo and stood up abruptly still trying to hide the hurt he felt. " Uh...I'll let you rest...I'll probably bring Myungsol in to visit you tomorrow..."  

               Sungyeol turned away not letting Myungsoo see his tears. As he was about to step away from the bed he felt Myungsoo's grip on his hand. Although they had just shared an intimate moment, Sungyeol couldn't help but wonder if it was because Myungsoo had been lonely recently, or in need of some release, rather than it really being because he still had feelings for him. The doubts was driving him insane, he couldn't help but feel stabbed, but because he still loved Myungsoo so much. It was the same back then, it was always Sungyeol who was the once to chase after Myungsoo; It was Sungyeol who liked him first.

               Flashback

               It had been their third week of tutoring together back then...

               "Myung-Oppa!...I'm having trouble with this problem...can you help me solve it?" Sungyeol begged the raven haired hyung.

               "Pabo! Are you a girl, why are you calling me oppa?" Myungsoo said coldly bopping Sungyeol on the head.

               "Well... you weren't paying attention to me! I need help with this problem!" Sungyeol whined. "You're supposed to be my tutor, but you're just ignoring me and reading your photography books." The younger  gave his tutor a cute pout.  

               "But I explained this to you already an hour ago..." Myungsoo hopelessly tried to reason with the younger boy, but ended up receiving a cuter pout from Sungyeol, "Ugh...fine...listen up...and pay attention...this time...to solve this...you have to find x and y...and then...."

               Sungyeol really already knew the answer to that problem, but he wanted to stall so he could spend more time with his older tutor. Myungsoo's voice rang through his head melodically, even though he wasn't paying attention to the math problem at all, and was spending time staring at the older boy's face.

               Myungsoo stop between speech and stared at Sungyeol who was not paying attention at all, and giving him googley eyes, and sheepish smile.

               "Hey you! Are you paying attention to me?" Myungsoo scolded.

               "Of course of course go on...find x and y....and?" Sungyeol questioned softly still stuck in his dreamland.

               "You...are hopeless..." Myungsoo face palmed, totally unaware of Sungyeol's feelings for him at the time. But to little did Sungyeol knew Myungsoo also felt something for him then as well, it bothered the older boy greatly whenever Sungyeol was late to their tutoring sessions because he had soccer practice with his friends Hoya and Woohyun.

               Myungsoo use to sit by the bleachers to watch them while he prepared lesson notes for Sungyeol. At first Myungsoo saw it as another part time job to help him prepare for College funds since he was being paid by the school to tutor the younger kids, but the more he had spent time with Sungyeol the more it bothered him whenever he see them in the fields. The way Hoya would find an excuse to touch the him, or the unnecessary attention Hoya gave to Sungyeol that he didn't give to Woohyun, and how the end of each game Hoya would lightly tap Sungyeol on the to signal the end of a good game.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

               Time passed and it was the second month since Myungsoo became Sungyeol's Tutor

               Sungyeol quickened his pace as he made his way through Woolim High School's front gate. School had ended and he was making his way home as soon as possible. Each step taken in anger, mostly at himself for not being able to contain his feelings any longer. Sure, before he had thought what he felt for Myungsoo was just a little crush, but the more they had spent time together each day after school made Sungyeol realized when he didn't see Myungsoo his heart was going crazy. Sungyeol had never felt this way about anyone else before.

               When ever someone that possibly had a similar build to his tutor pass by him in the hallway, cafeteria, or even the soccer fields he find himself looking towards their direction just to check if it is Myungsoo. He would feel anxious on days where Myungsoo would call in sick, or cancel their study session. He would wonder if Myungsoo had a boyfriend or girlfriend already, and he dare not ask partly because he was afraid of finding out a painful truth. He would look over their simple text messages, sometimes over analyze the meaning behind Myungsoo's texts and smiley emoticons that Myungsoo sent.

               His heart was going crazy, and he couldn't help control it any longer, so Sungyeol decided to just end it all now before it leads to more pain. He swing his bag violently as he walk through the gates, but a great force stopped him on his tracks.

               "Yah! You skipped for the past two weeks ! Where have you been?" Myungsoo scolded.

               "Wha...?!" Sungyeol stared at his tutor in shock and feeling guilt for avoiding him. " I...I've been busy..."

               "Really...?" Myungsoo eyed him suspiciously, " A few days ago I saw you walking about the shopping district with your friends."

               "I...!...Tha..That's none of your business...You're just my tutor...don't act like you're my parent or something!" Sungyeol yelled in rebellion avoiding Myungsoo's stare.

               "...It is my business, because I'm suppose to help you score well! IT'S MY JOB!" Myungsoo yelled.

               "...Yeh! You're right ...of course...it's just your job after all...! Fine..." Sungyeol said feeling his eyes starting to burn. Myungsoo narrowed his eyes in confusion at the younger boy.

               "What the heck is wrong with you Sungyeol? You are one of my least rebellious students? Why are you acting like this?" Myungsoo questioned.

               "..NOTHING OK!..." Sungyeol tried to pull his arm out of Myungsoo's strong hold.

               "No, it's not ok! Tell me what's wrong? Why are you avoiding me?!"

               "...BECAUSE...I...I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU! THAT'S WHY!" Sungyeol yelled at his clueless tutor.

               "...W..You..." Myungsoo was speechless. Inside he hoped he wasn't dreaming.

               "N..Nevermind...just leave me alone!" Sungyeol cried pulling out of Myungsoo's grip and running away. The younger boy ran off about two yards away until he was once again caught by Myungsoo. Sungyeol stopped abruptly as he felt a pair of strong arms holding him from behind.

               "I...I'm in love with you too..." Myungsoo said slowly, " So...please don't  runaway."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

               They have been together since their confession two months ago, and it was frustrating for Sungyeol because since then Myungsoo haven't even mention the three words again. 'I love you.' Sungyeol didn't need him to say it often, but it was making him feel a little insecure at times. Myungsoo was like an unsolved mystery sometimes, he doesn't talk much other than about studying, and when they are on dates he would keep to himself. However, Sungyeol knew that he showed his love through actions rather than words. He was very conscious of Sungyeol's surrounding, and made the best effort to make sure Sungyeol was comfortable. Myungsoo was a very loving boyfriend, his biggest problem was just voicing out his thoughts, and feelings.

               "Yeobo! I love you." Sungyeol interrupted their study session once again looking Myungsoo in the eye " Do you love me too?" He said cutely.

               "....Focus...you have a test tomorrow." Myungsoo said without looking up from his book.

               "NO! I'm distracted because you won't say it!" Sungyeol pouted more.

               "...if you pass the test with A or better I'll say it." Myungsoo said sternly still ignoring the younger boy making him huffed loudly in frustration.

               "Ugh! BUT we barely started studying that!"Sungyeol complained, " You'll never say it...."

               "Exactly, that's why you need to focus...I'll say it if you pass with an A." Myungsoo went on, part of him liked to tease Sungyeol just to see him pout and huff in anger.

               "Myung-ah..." Sungyeol whined , and slamming the book shut. " Ugh ! You are SO mean!"

               Myungsoo smirked subtly, placed a hand on Sungyeol's face pulling him close, and giving him a gentle kiss on the lips.

               "I love you too." He said , " Now...study."

               "Why do I always have to say it first before you say it!?" Sungyeol huffed.

               "You're such a kid babe!" Myungsoo said shaking his head at his boyfriend.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

               "Wait! Sungyeol...I.."

               "N...no...you hesitated...Myungsoo..." Sungyeol still not facing his ex.

               Myungsoo cursed at himself, once again because his lack of expression he had hurt Sungyeol. He felt Sungyeol trying to pull away from his grip.

               "I...hope...you get better soon...I'll leav__!" Sungyeol went on but was interrupted by Myungsoo this time.

               "NO!" Myungsoo pulled him down causing Sungyeol to lose balance and fall into the older man's arms. " I...I'm sorry...I love you...I never stopped loving you..." Myungsoo spoke softly holding onto Sungyeol tightly.  " You...know I've never been good at expressing my thoughts...right?...but...just listen...To me, you and Myungsol are the most important in my life."

               Sungyeol could feel his own tears trickling down his face as Myungsoo held onto him, his back.

               "But...right now...I...lack courage...I don't want to ruin your life again."

               "Ani.....no...I never saw it...that way..." Sungyeol denied, shaking his head profusely. The thought of Myungsoo even thinking such a thing mad his heart hurt. "Please don't say that. Please don't think that..."  

               He hugged Myungsoo tighter afraid of letting go. The two stayed in each other's arms in silence, with Sungyeol leaning with his face buried in Myungsoo's neck and collar. Sungyeol shifted a bit in his arms.

               "....oww..." Myungsoo made a sound catching Sungyeol's attention. The younger man looked down at his husband to see blood bleeding through the bandage, probably from Myungsoo moving too much.

               "Oh...I'm sorry Myung!" Sungyeol cried in panic.

               "It's ok...I forgot for a second I still had stitches...just a little bleeding  probably not a big deal..." Myungsoo brushed off.

               "NO, it's not ok! You are NOT going to go back to that work again...whatever it was!" Sungyeol ordered angrily.

               "...ok...babe..."

               "Later, I'll have to pick up our baby from my mother's then I'll come back to visit you tomorrow with Myungsol." Sungyeol said happily, " Myungsol will be sooo happy to know his Appa is going to come back and live with him!"

               The smile on Sungyeol's face made Myungsoo's heart fluttered as he was trying hard to bury away his mother in law's words from before, but despite his troubled mind he was determined to change, to give Sungyeol a better life, to be a better husband, and a better father to Myungsol.

               "Thank you Myungsoo...for being Myungsol's father."

AN: UPDATE UPDATE!!! Hope you guys enjoyed the fluff! Now you sort of know how they got together in High School. Myungsoo is a Senior and Sungyeol still a freshman...I dunno..check the foreward for the age I posted.( bc I forgot...i think i put 24 for yeol and 27 for Myung making him 3 years older than Yeol...so he should be a Senior while Yeol is a freshman in High school.)..and Myung is Yeol's tutor...thats how they met each other.

Sungyeol and Myungsoo like each other about the same time, but in Sungyeol's perspective he always thought he liked Myungsoo first, and was the first to "chase/pursue"  that love. 

Seriously I was stuck...but ... anyways...I'm glad I wrote it anyways... <3 <3 <3  Love you all and enjoy the read...( I hope)..before the storm...? Ok...off to sleep for me...its 2:14 am... TT_TT......and I have work tomorrow.