His normally swarthy complexion went ashen. He stared at me, his pupils dilating. The grip he had on my face suddenly loosened and he went completely slack. "What?" he whispered hoarsely.

The shock that had hit me began to wear off. I wanted to scream, or shake my head or deny the mere possibility, but all I could hear was my doctor's words echoing on constant rotation in my head. "I..."

Taeyeon looked down, shaking his head slowly. He took a step back from me, running a hand through his hair. "Sica-"

Though I knew I wasn't thinking straight, one thing became very clear. I looked at him, at the astonishment on his face. "I have to go," I said very plainly. His eyes darted to mine and he stopped all movement. Then, he started shaking his head again, harder now; more sure.

"No," he said, "No you can't; we have to talk. We have to..." his hand went back into his hair.

I didn't wait for him to figure out what he wanted to say. My eyes fastened to my car where it still sat in the spot I left it in hours ago and I began to walk towards it, dropping my phone back into my bag. "Wait a minute," I heard him coming up behind me.

"No."

"Damn it, Sica," he stepped in front of me, stopping me in my tracks. He looked halfway rational now, if a little shaken. "You can't just... leave after saying something like that."

I stared at him. Some part of me knew he was right, but my mind was too focused to try to think that far. "I have to, Taeyeon."

The incredulity was plain in his eyes. "What do you want me to do? We can't just ignore this."

"I'm not ignoring it!" I insisted. When he started trying to speak again, I cut him off with a hand.

He didn't care; he simply reached out and pushed my hand away. After a minute, he stepped close to me again, lowering his voice self-consciously, "You're pregnant?"

I didn't want to hear those words again. This time, I laid my hand on his chest, palm flat. "She said might," I said. "I might be..." my throat caught and I had to stop.

His eyes fastened to my face and then lowered slowly. It took me a minute to realize he was staring at my stomach. I knew exactly what he was thinking and my heart started beating way too fast. I snapped into motion, sliding past him to get to my car. "I have to go; I have to see my doctor. She wants me to come in now, and run some test."

His fingers fastened on my arm, stopping me right before I could unlock the door. I sighed and turned to face him. Immediately I shied away from the expression on his face. He had nothing to say and we both knew it. Still, he wanted to say something... had to talk.

"Sica, I... we..."

I stopped him by taking a step back and removing his grip on me. "Nothing is for certain," I said softly. A car whizzed by me and ruffled the skirt of my dress, but I barely noticed the cloud of dust that followed. From the hollowness in his eyes, I knew he wasn't hearing me no matter what I said. I sighed, "Go back to work, Tae." I gestured in the general direction of the mechanic shop. "You're going to get in trouble."

His brow furrowed, "You think I care about that right now?" he asked. "You really think I can focus on working after hearing... this?" he couldn't say what he wanted to and that was good. I didn't want him to.

"I have to go to the doctor."

"I'm going with you." He insisted.

"What? No." I shook my head, "You definitely aren't. You can't come with me."

"I can't stay here!"

"You have to."

Someone walked by us, giving us a strange look and I realized we were causing a scene. Here I was, pressed against my car arguing with a sweaty, shirtless guy. I cleared my throat, looking down as the next group of people passed. Taeyeon didn't even notice. His mind was too preoccupied to care. "Listen to me," I said in a low voice, "I'm going to the doctor right now. I'll call you when I know anything for sure."

He blinked at me and then slowly nodded. "Okay. I'll..." once again, he ran a hand through his hair. By now, it was disheveled beyond repair but his face still hadn't regained all of its color. "I'll come by later, I think. Regardless of what you find out." His eyes sharpened on my face. "We have to talk. We're going to talk."

I nodded, mute. He was right. It was past time. I reached behind me, opening the car door. Instinctively Taeyeon reached out to hold it open for me and I noticed that his hands were shaking. I dry lips and put my hand over his to steady him. His eyes lifted from gazing emptily at the sidewalk and he looked at me. "Breathe," I said softly. "Just breathe. Everything is going to be fine."

I could tell he didn't believe me, but he nodded anyway and I got into the car. It didn't matter right now anyway; I didn't have time to worry about him. There were much bigger things on my mind.

It took me four tries to get the keys into the ignition because my hands were so unsteady. Finally, I had to close my eyes and use my own advice, taking a deep breath to calm myself. The next time I tried, it worked and in no time the car was on and running. I looked over to where Taeyeon still stood, seemingly stuck in his place. I debated telling him to go to work again, but decided that I couldn't be bothered. He would figure it out eventually.

With one last glance out the window at his stricken expression, I pulled away from the curb and headed towards my doctor's office, my heart pounding the whole way.
 

* * *
 

We hadn't used protection. I didn't even think about it before, but now as I sat in the same room again staring blankly at the clock on the wall, it occurred to me that Taeyeon and I hadn't used a and I wasn't on the pill.

The place in the crease of my arm where a nurse had taken blood for the second time in a week still stung and I focused all of my attention on that. The room smelled of ammonia and stale air. It was definitely the last place I wanted to be.

I couldn't even remember the trip to the office. I had driven in a daze, somehow adhering to enough traffic laws to make it there safely. The only thing I could think about was what I was coming there for. About the possibility of a baby growing inside me, right in that moment.

The thought itself was paralyzing. If these tests came back positive, I honestly didn't know what I would do. I would have become one of the greatest stereotypes ever: a girl who had just once and got pregnant. I chuckled wryly to myself. No one from my high school would ever expect me to do something like that. Hell, no one that knew anything about me would expect this from me.

My parents wouldn't even know what to do with themselves. The subject of pregnancy never came up in my house because everyone always assumed that it would never happen, including me. Sure there was a joke here and there, but nothing for me to try and remember now. I had no idea what they would do. They'd probably scream at me for a while. Maybe kick me out.

Before my rationality completely fled, I heard the door open. I looked up as my doctor entered the room, folding my arms against a sudden chill. She smiled briefly at me and came to sit down on a stool, my chart and some other papers in her hand. My heart sunk immediately. I knew what she was going to tell me even as the sympathy clouded her eyes.

"Well, Jessica, our results aren't c