Tao POV

Serenity's Guardians

" Hello, My name is Tao I am seventeen years old and I am a shapeshifter. The first time that I met Kris was when him and the pack were leading a group of humans that I was with to Serenity. I was a little scared to talk to him at first because the humans in my group said that we shouldnt talk to them because they were just doing there jobs and that they didnt really like us but I watched how nice he was to Amber and YuilHan and the human children so one day I went up to him and started to talk to him and after that we just started to talk everyday.

On the sixth day we were at the docks were the ship was to take us to Serenity he told me that he loved me and that he wanted me to join the pack. He said that if I said no he would understand because its a hard life to get use too. We were both quite for some time and then I asked him if it will hurt and he laughed and said 'so I'll take that as a yes'. The next day he bit me and now here we are and I'm very, very happy. At first I had a hard time having to kill things but I got over that pretty quick.

SoJung likes to tease me and Kris about our relationship but I think thats because she has never been in love before. SoJung tells us over and over again that she will never ever ever fall in love she says she would rather die but I'm sure she won't feel that way for to long I'm sure she'll find her mate soon."

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Vay_Kook_ #1
YOUR FIC COMPLETES ME OMFG LET ME LOVE YOU
KouAkira #2
Chapter 13: The plot and story are good. :)

But, I think you should beta for some misspelling and adjust articles to be a paragraph with full tenses which can describe the action or scene smoothly.

I don't know if it happened to me only or not, because I opened the site to read the story on iPhone, and some of your tenses in each paragraph are separated to be one tense in two paragraphs.

For the example from this chapter;
"then I pull out another arrow and let it fly into the head of the human. Theres nothing we can do for them anyway there

is no cure except to be bitten but we're not gonna go around and bite all the humans that get infected not only is"

(It really was like this)

It made me couldn't read your story smoothly and decreased the mood of your story while I read.

Please don't be mad at me for the comment. I like your story, and want to read the next chapters and have fun with your story like the others too. But I just want you to know what I think. :)

And sorry if my English . Because English is not my native and I'm not good at it enough. _(_ _)_
sarahleto
#3
Love this story!