YuilHan POV

Serenity's Guardians

"Hi I'm YuilHan my pack calls me Yuilie I am twelve years old I have one green eye and one light blue. Whenever a wolf has two different colored eyes it means that they are psychic I can see the past, present, and future. I can see whatever and whoever I want all I have to do is think about the person, place, and or time. Sometimes they come when I didnt want them and they hurt me. It takes skill to harm me I can also send a thousand watts of electricity to my victims body. SoJung told me that when I was a baby I use to send small shocks to Kris whenever I was upset she said that she use to laugh so hard but I would never shock her. SoJung said it was because Kris's face scares little children.

I don't remember my mother but I don't care because I have SoJung. I sometimes call her umma and other times I just call her SoJung. Jihoon and the others say that I scare them sometimes I just laugh at them. I do understand that I'm what you would call touched I believe it is mostly because of what I've seen in my visions, they're not all bad but most are. After my first vision I changed, I don't feel any regret or pity when I kill, that day is the day that I found out what I really am.

I'm a living weapon."

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Vay_Kook_ #1
YOUR FIC COMPLETES ME OMFG LET ME LOVE YOU
KouAkira #2
Chapter 13: The plot and story are good. :)

But, I think you should beta for some misspelling and adjust articles to be a paragraph with full tenses which can describe the action or scene smoothly.

I don't know if it happened to me only or not, because I opened the site to read the story on iPhone, and some of your tenses in each paragraph are separated to be one tense in two paragraphs.

For the example from this chapter;
"then I pull out another arrow and let it fly into the head of the human. Theres nothing we can do for them anyway there

is no cure except to be bitten but we're not gonna go around and bite all the humans that get infected not only is"

(It really was like this)

It made me couldn't read your story smoothly and decreased the mood of your story while I read.

Please don't be mad at me for the comment. I like your story, and want to read the next chapters and have fun with your story like the others too. But I just want you to know what I think. :)

And sorry if my English . Because English is not my native and I'm not good at it enough. _(_ _)_
sarahleto
#3
Love this story!