Brighter World
[Series] E.L.F. s Dream
PART 2
They always say that home is where your heart is. Somewhere you feel at ease. His home was in China…his family…his friends…as well as his pets. But now, this must be home.
Watching her smile to him, that face branded itself on his mind and traced the empty spaces of his heart, making it impossible for him to ever forget her. Her voice serenaded his weary soul, calmed his searching ardor. Her touch gave him strength more than he asks for.
He let her hands feel the contours of his face, erasing all of his fears from yesterday, pressures from today, and worries for tomorrow. He was home once again, the moment he let her take his heart away.
“(Name)~ssi, will you smile for me?” after being with her for quite some time now, he can’t help but smile whenever she does. She always brings joy to him after a very long and tiring day.
She gave him a present which no one can ever give him. Being there for him at his most unbearable moments; just like now. Another night at Gimpo Airport, they sat inside his car facing the runway, facing his fear.
He shook when a plane took off.
“Hangeng~ssi, when are you planning to go back to China?”
“I won’t.” a statement that he hasn’t change for the past few days.
She sighed understanding how he feels. Finally, he found his serenity in the arms of this angel. He let her lead him, comfort him and support him unlike any other. He hates being taken care of by any woman, but he doesn’t understand why he keeps letting her do so.
The cold winter chilled him down to the bones.
“Let’s just go home…” he helplessly said. It wasn’t the weather that makes him want to retreat; he can tolerate the cold night, but not the unbearable scene happening in front of him.
“Why are you afraid of the things that you can see?”
He looked at her, “Don’t you have any fears?”
“I am afraid of the things I can’t see.” She said with a warm smile.
Then that means she’s afraid of everything. “That would be impossible.” He shook his head. It’s unbelievable hearing those words from . “If you are, then…are you afraid of me?”
Another plane took off, scattering the only bit of strength inside him. He felt the heat of fire touch his skin, heard the roaring of the turbines. His sight blurred darkening the things around him…he can’t see…it was scary.
“Hangeng~ssi,” her voice called.
He focused on her, trying to exceed the feelings that were swallowing him. “I can’t stay here any longer.”
“I understand.”
~♥~
“I’m home,” she declared.
It has been tiring. She still doesn’t get it, would never get it. Though she says that she understands how he feels, she would never truly know because she’s never been in that situation. It’s been a week now, but there has been no change. Four flights in a row and he’s shaking to death. She doesn’t even know if he looks at those planes.
A sigh escaped her as she stepped up the flight on their door. At first, she thought he was just joking when he said that he was afraid of planes, but then it turned out to be the truth. She wasn’t being judgmental, but it surprised her a lot. She can’t imagine him being like that. But having him as hers, it was happy spending the past days with him.
She walked slowly by the living room to her own room, putting into picture the spaces inside their house.
“Noona, is that guy courting you or are you already dating?” JoonHee asked when she entered her room.
He followed her inside and blocked her way. “You’re already dating aren’t you?”
Still, she did not answer. The two of them…she’s not really sure. She’s sure about her feelings for him, and he made it quite clear to her what he feels for her. That’s what they were…a complicated relationship.
“Stop asking questions, I’m already tired.” She sat on her bed removing her shoes. This may not be a very good time for a talk.
“You are tired again…isn’t it bothersome that you’re always tired? You don’t even have time to talk to me anymore,” her brother was starting it. “Alright, I understand now. He’s more important to you now, more than me.”
He sighed before walking away.
“JoonHee~yah…” she called and heard him stop.
“Why? Are you going to explain now?” he walked close to her again. “Noona, you’re the only person I have and you know that. If you don’t have time for me anymore, just tell me. I can just go to the army and leave you with your Hankyung.”
She knew it…he’s going to start his childish acts again. It’s been too long since she has heard him this way. It only happens whenever he sees someone getting close to her. That’s how he was when he first knew about her bestfriend SeonRi.
“You’re getting jealous again.”
She grabbed his hand; this will be the moment he would try to escape. “Why are you always jealous? Noona is an old woman already but JoonHee should never worry. I will never leave you.”
They were disturbed by the sound of the doorbell.
“I’ll get it.” He stood but she didn’t let go. “How can I go get the door if you’re holding me?”
She stood up, “We’ll go together.” She gave him a backhug. “JoonHee the jealous…stop doing that.”
She heard him chuckle. “Okay now, let’s just get the door; someone out there must be cold.”
But she was regretting it. They shouldn’t have opened it. Because that someone out there was someone they forgot already. Someone who broke their hearts a few years ago but still have the guts to face them and call them his children.
“JoonHee…” she held tight to her brother’s hand.
Her brother held her close, “Don’t be scared noona, it was abeoji.”
~♥~
He groaned when the searing pain in his temple started. He was thrown with a pillow waking him up from a deep slumber.
“I saw your girlfriend at the hospital this morning.”
Heechul walked to the kitchen and took a glass of water before returning back to the sofa where he was lying.
“She’s not my girlfriend yet.”
He chuckled. “Yet?”
The other members were busy doing their own stuff; some of them were trying to get back to their normal lives. Most of them, like him, were trying to escape and hide from the haunting thoughts of the accident.
“Anyway,” he started. “(Heechul’s girl’s name here)~ssi was interested in her. She was happy talking to her.”
While stating this, Heechul’s eyes became somber. (HC’s Girl’s name here) and him were spending their days together more after she admitted her sickness to him not so long ago.
“You’ve really fallen hard haven’t you?” Somewhat, he knows the feeling. He fell hard too. He doesn’t even care anymore what other people will think if they even learned about it.
“Yah, why didn’t you call me?” Heechul changed the topic. “You drank by yourself again. (Name)~ssi must be really worried about you.”
She was really worried and he knows it. She has her own problems but she would still accompany him every night. It makes him feel regretful. He rubbed his head. “I’m a burden to her. I can’t believe myself for being so dependent to (name)~ssi when I should be the one she could rely on. Ahh…”
Heechul laughed patting his back hard. “You’re hopeless. Look at me, no one can beat me.”
Honestly, he really admires this foolish man beside him. He was really strong to be that way. He can smile and talk like nothing’s happening when his own world was already shrinking. He was not like this before; his mood used to change a lot. But look at him now, Heechul was being overly optimistic. He can’t take it.
“You’ve changed a lot Heechul~ah. I can’t believe my own ears,” he looked at him. “I’m a Chinese person so that must be understandable.”
“You and your silly excuses,” he playfully punched him. “This happens when you’re in love and you can’t do anything about it. I can’t let her see me sad, that would be painful for her.”
He can’t stand it anymore; this was not the Heechul he knew. It makes him nauseous and jealous as hell. They were talking cheesy stuff here and he finds it interesting unlike the way he used to be. Heechul would certainly walk away if they started talking about romantic things before, but now, he’s the one initiating the talk.
“I will go back to China soon, I just don’t know when.”
Heechul looked straight to his eyes. “I thought you wanted to stay for her? What makes you change your mind again?”
It was the excuse he said for wanting to stay in Korea. He still hasn’t said his fear to Heechul.
“Her.”
~♥~
“I heard that you went here a few weeks ago to have a check-up. You should have come to me instead of going to other doctors here.” Her father started.
He stood and went for the door. “I’ll leave the two of you to talk.”
She sat across the table facing a woman she only met this morning. She’s been doing it lately, talking to strangers. And she’s getting used to it. Not a very good habit. “So, you were a doctor here?”
“Yes, I worked with your father before my health became weak.”
Yes, her father was a doctor. And she didn’t know where he worked for the past eight years.
“(Name)~ssi, I am dying soon…I’m really tired. Please do think about this…”
She was a cancer patient, Heechul’s girlfriend. She was nice; she knows it just by listening to her. And she’s thankful that she offered to give her eyes. An offer she wanted to refuse but she asked her to think about it.
“Unni,” she spoke.
“Are you having second thoughts?” she heard her sigh. “My sickness would not affect my eyes so don’t worry about it. It will only become useless when I die anyway. And the fact that I will die of cancer, I doubt it if anyone would want to have my eyes. At least if it’s you, I’ve already explained my situation.”
That’s exactly what she was thinking. What if she got the illness? She wouldn’t want that would she? It’s absurd imagining her seeing for the first time in her entire life, then in just a while, poof! It was gone again.
She touched her hand. “(Name)~ssi, my eyes have seen the most beautiful things in this world, as well as the bad ones. I have set my eyes to no one else after I met Heechul. I want you to see Hankyung~ssi as well. I feel that he’s someone special to you. This is the only help I can give you.”
Silence followed her words, offering her to think.
“Please consider accepting my gift.” She turned her wheelchair towards the door. “Your father would be very glad if you will see again. He’s been talking about you and your brother for years. He was scared to meet the two of you, knowing that he was never a good dad. But (name)~ssi, Doctor Song was a very kind person, he only thinks about the two of you. Please don’t hate him.”
By that, she left her. She was right; her father was a very kind person. Never once did he miss giving them a gift during their birthdays and during holidays. He writes them a letter once in while, provides for their studies. But the fact that he never went home and left them on their own, that makes JoonHee hate him.
She never hated their father, she loved him despite the obvious that he gave up taking care of them on his own. He was trying hard, she can see that. Maybe, he came just now because he expected them to understand him more now that they were old enough.
“I don’t want to be a bad father for the two of you; I don’t want to hurt you that’s why I left.”
He said that. But unintentionally, he already hurt the two of them more than prevent it.
Her father held her shoulder. “How’s the talk? What do you think?”
She enclosed his hand in her own. “Thank you appa…”
Originally posted on my blog...
Wednesday, September 1, 2010 5:45 PM
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