[Chapter 17]

[Ren's POV]

                By the time Kimi made it back, I had already come out to wash the ddeokbokki container the girls had brought me back earlier. She stormed across the dorm and slammed the door to her room with laying an eye on one of us.

                "Who do we have to thank for making her crack?" asked Jaekyung.

                "I'll go talk to her later," I said. "Let her dwell in it for while."

                If I could help it, I wanted to wait until promotions were over in case I said something wrong. But regardless the result, both of us needed to get things off our chest. I needed Kimi to know that she could trust me.

                I left Kimi sulk for about half an hour before pushing myself into her room. Kimi shared the room with Saerom, so I went at sat on her bed, while she laid on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

                "So..." I started. "Did Kris Oppa say something to hurt you?"

                "Not Kris," she replied. I was actually surprised that she did. "Tao..."

                I raised my eyebrows. "Tao? You went to see Tao?"

                "I didn't know who else would back me up," said Kimi.

                "What exactly did he say?"

                "He said I'm a brat for being jealous of you."

                My eyebrows dropped and my stomach sank. Kimi was still sniffling, and not looking at me. I thought that after we debuted, things would get better between us, but it didn't. It seemed like she was perfectly happy in her own little box, sulking like any teenage girl would.

                "Well, I can't say he's wrong," I started. Kimi crunched her eyebrows. "But you are being jealous for the wrong reasons."

                "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, slightly pissed off.

                "It means it's fine to be jealous of someone, but there's no point in wishing you're better than them by working from your bed and tears," I said. "You gotta get up and work at it yourself."

                "What's the point?" Kimi sulked. "I've been slaving for four years to be in the shadow of you! No matter what I say, everyone likes you better because you know everything!"

                "Hey!" I exclaimed. "I wasn't born yesterday! Things come with time and work effort. And that's your problem! You've had everything handed to you from your private lessons to getting into SM and debuting! You may have trained for four years, but you refuse to believe that everything that you've learnt is what's gonna help you do better. You keep thinking that everything you already know is good enough. It doesn't work like that. You hit the top, you gotta keep going harder! That's what being an idol is! You got what you wanted; fame, attention, a bit of fortune. But what's all that worth when you've got nothing else to show for it?"

                Kimi suddenly became very quiet. More tears started dripping down the sides of her eyes. My guess was Tao only told her the surface parts.

                "I didn't become an idol to overshadow you," I said. "I became an idol because I didn't have anywhere else to go. I'm happy to share everything with you, all of you! But you still have to do your part and share that too. That's what being in a group means. Tell me...why did you become an idol?"

                Kimi sighed deeply before answering in a soft voice. "I didn't think...it'd be this hard. I just...I wanted to make money for myself without going to college."

                I bobbed my head down, dumbfounded.

                "You don't have to go to college, but you still have to work," I said.  ", if I wanted to work with freeloaders, I would've stayed in Australia. But seriously, since we debuted, what exactly have you done beside sing in the background and film a few CFs? All the girls are sending out letters to broadcast channels begging to become one-time guests and regulars, but what have you done?"

                It was no secret to anyone, except maybe the fans, that Kimi was just lazy and thought that her appearance was enough to win the fans' support. I always thought it was a mistake debuting her with us, but the company thought that I'd be a good 'mother' and that it was be a cool image to promote. I couldn't make promises, but I could try.

                "We will help you," I said, firmly. "But only if you wake up from that dream of yours and start learning how to live it!"

                In the wake of a reality check, I left the room leaving Kimi still lying in the same position. I had a feeling she'd want to be alone to dwell in everything before coming to a revelation.

                "So?" asked Jaekyung. "Is she gonna behave?"

                "One step at a time," I said. "Although, remind to talk to Tao."

                "Tao Oppa?" asked Hyoim. "She went to see him? Why?"

                "I'm not sure," I admitted. "But I intend to find out."

                Kris has told me that his and Tao's relationship had turned sour since we started dating, but for reasons that he wouldn't tell anyone. EXO had hoped that a female's touch my help him open up, but Kimi was nowhere near the right person.

                "What makes you think he'll talk to you?" asked Jaekyung.

                "Because I'm an actual woman," I said. "No offence, but I did actually start off the same way you guys did. So you have time."





Sorry for not updating for some time, but I guess this is my lesson in writing two stories at a time ><"
I feel terrible for neglecting this story now =(
I've got a bit of a block for what's happening next, that's why this update is so short, but I will definitely work hard!!
Also, I can't believe I just realised this, but I went for the whole story until now using the name "Yumi" instead of "Jaekyung" ><"
So i've gone changed them all to Jaekyung; just so everyone is clear, Crescere has six members: Ren, Jaekyung, Kimi, Hyoim, Saerom and Ruby.
I think intially it was "Yumi", but i then I didn't like the similiarity between Yumi and Kimi, so i changed it xP