Kaiyeol

Contrary to popular belief, Chanyeol did more things than eat.

Sometimes he stalked people while he ate.

He has no other way to describe the nonsense that he was into joining when Jongdae had insisted after school that Luhan hyung was hiding something from them all and since his boyfriend refused to tell him what Luhan's secret was even after he had seduced him in every way, state or form, most of the details Chanyeol had blocked out for his own sanity.

No one needs to know what Jongdae does on his knees. Really. No one does.

Except maybe Baekhyun, who seemed rather interested in the methodology employed, making comments as to technique and skill used, Chanyeol itching to ask him how he could be so brazen as to comment on such things, when Chanyeol knew for a fact that he had as much experience as a mannequin.

Baekhyun may have had his crush on Kyungsoo since he was twelve.

Baekhyun denies this to death of course, making annoyingly mouthy comments as to his conquest that he and Chanyeol both know only ever really happened in his mind, except for that noona that snuck a kiss in when Baekhyun was fifteen, but by then he was too obsessed with Kyungsoo to care very much.

To end a rather disturbing overly descriptive story that made Sehun blush at least once, not that hard to do, but if you get Jongin to blush too, you know you are on to something, Jongdae had concluded that Luhan's secret must be rather juicy and super top secret or his boyfriend Yixing had forgotten all about it, which was not that uncommon.

Yixing thought the best way to keep a secret was to forget entirely, and with his forgetful nature it was much too easy.

Chanyeol still thought he was a pothead, but he kept that thought to himself least Jongdae decide on revenge. He was very protective of his boyfriend, who Chanyeol would freely admit was a very sweet person, when he was not face with Jongdae and making them all sick to their stomach.

There are just some things a man does not want to see.

And there are things a man does not want to do.

Stalking his friend's cousin was probably on that list.

Chanyeol couldn't see how that nexus was created to be honest. He refused to believe that it was because he was eating a bag of cheetos that he missed out on how it was logical for them to stalk Luhan.

Apparently the best way to determine where Luhan kept disappearing to at lunch and after school was to stalk him.

Again. He had insane friends.

He was pretty sure he was the only sane one amongst them.

Except for Jongin of course.

He was pretty sane too.

He slept a lot, but then again, Chanyeol ate a lot and he was very sensible, so he was not holding the fact that Jongin was a sleep addict against him. Some people were just bottomless pits [read: Chanyeol] and some people were just induced by the little sleep fairies that existed.

Chanyeol was sure Jongin's adorable sleeping face was what made them come to him so frequently.

So maybe Chanyeol wasn't exactly "sane" but he was a lot better off than Jongdae that was for sure.

He was currently arguing with Baekhyun whether or not they needed to wear a spy costume to go about this stalking mission. He was of the opinion that all good spies must wear that black ensemble otherwise it was wasted opportunity really. Stalking had a method and as Jongdae had just described, he was a firm believer in method. That was how he made Yixing sob and beg, but that was story for another time and as far as he tell, they were not that keen on anymore stories from him.

Of course that made him want to tell it even more, but he was getting sidetracked.

Baekhyun figured that stalking could be done in any attire.

For Chanyeol's money he would listen to Baekhyun. He has had a lot of stalking experience.

"Seriously Baekhyun knows all about stalking. Let's just listen to him" Sehun is the one that points it out after listening to the little squabble.

He was entirely bored and was already picking at his finger nails, seeing no reason why they were bothering to stalk his cousin. Luhan was a weirdo all the time, so he was probably just busy being the golden fairy or whatever the hell that he was that made the fan girls weep at the sight of him.

Or maybe he was busy with that thing that he does that he keeps secret even though he is a babbler mouth that told the entire senior class that Sehun has a crush on Suho.

Sehun found out why Suho knew his name. He was not happy.

[That was a lie. He was thrilled. He went home and wept in joy at the fact that Suho knew that he was probably a sicko that stalked him and STILL chose to talk to him. He was in glee. He had a reputation to protect however, and Luhan really had to learn to respect privacy and all that crap.

Bottom-line being: He had licence to be a sulky vengeful brat and he was sure as hell taking it!]

"Yah!" Baekhyun complains in indignation.

He did not stalk Kyungsoo. He just happened to make himself present at all places that Kyungsoo may visit in the hopes of talking to him, that sometimes do not manifest themselves as such, and he ends up watching him.

What was so hard to understand about that?

Seriously.

"You stalk him. Get over it" Jongdae expounds, still tugging on his black jacket.

He dug through his entire closet for that little thing, so he was gonna wear it. The end.

 And later he was going to invite Yixing to play 007 with him and have Yixing decide if he likes it enough to let him take it off or if he was gonna rip it off. His mind was already providing him with the visions of such, face contouring happily.

Maybe they should forget this "follow Luhan around thing" and he should just go home and have his wicked way with his boyfriend.

"I would respond but I don't think my words can reach the depths of that gutter where your mind currently is" Baekhyun cackles, positive that look of satisfaction, bordering on glee could only mean one thing.

"Ewwww…Seriously?" Sehun grumbles, wondering why he bothered to even waste his precious time with these lunatics, having already been so grossed out by the seduction story that he swore off lunch and was soon gonna have to miss dinner as well.

His friends were dirty erts.

He was not that innocence either, but he was now an upstanding individual, worthy of angel Suho's grace.

Chanyeol by this time had found a nice little bench to share with Jongin, the younger man sleepily resting against his shoulder, both of them happily sharing a pack of Oreos that Baekhyun had bribed Chanyeol with to tag along with them, Chanyeol devouring them.

He would be embarrassed that he would actually risk his life for a pack of Oreos, but in his defence they were double fudge and it was a jumbo pack.

Baekhyun played dirty.

Jongin was a lot more graceful with the way he ate, but then again Chanyeol thought everything Jongin did was graceful, the way he wrinkled his nose, the way he moved his hands and god! The way he walked, even the way he slept.

Jongin was probably as close as a person could get to being perfect really.

He even understood that lard was awesome!

Chanyeol was always grateful for Jongin's presence beside him.

"We are the only sane ones here hyung" Jongin laughs low and husky, always sleep drunken, always pretty.

"Tell me about it" Chanyeol agrees as he bites into another cookie, rather disgustingly, teeth covered in chocolate and face plastered in chocolate crumbs, watching Jongdae and Baekhyun trade insults as he sat under the tree in near the field, waiting to start the "not stalking Luhan"  mission.

Sehun by then gazing at something on his phone lovingly. Probably that picture he took of Suho, when the older man was leaving school. Sehun was better than most paparazzi. And Suho had to be more photogenic than most idols, cuz, even Chanyeol could admit that those pictures were gold.

"We don't have all day" Jongin chuckles this time, reaching a hand upwards to wipe the crumbs on Chanyeol's face with long sun kissed fingers, warm to the touch, tender in their movements, Chanyeol's cheeks heating up as he smiles a little bashfully.

Chanyeol kinda wished  they did.

*****

"Idiots" Luhan chuckles to himself, as he slips past the back line of the bleachers.

Soon he is  away from his stalking friends, shaking his head as he anticipates the meeting up ahead, having to bite his lips to keep from laughing as he hears the discussion about stalking outfits continuing on.

A/N: Happy Birthday to the sweetest most adorable dancing machine in existence ^^