Public Service Announcements

Kris had hoped that his sometimes elusive-- boyfriend? Significant other? Guy that he clings to like a deranged psychopath without an ounce of shame even though he was pretty sure his mother taught him to stay away from crazy people? ….Just whatever Luhan was, --at some point in time be prevailed upon to be quite open about their shared affections for each other.

Or at least Kris thought they were shared.

Luhan did cuddle with him fairly often, so he was just going to assume that meant something more than just Luhan looking for a warm body to dig his knee into and steal body heat from, whilst taking advantage of Kris’s significant skill as a cuddler.

As it was Kris had it on great authority that he was a great snuggler! His five year old cousin always liked to cuddle with him and poke his eyebrows and call him an angry bird, but he liked to think it was from a place of love.

He was a loveable person.

He was.

He dared anyone dumb enough to say otherwise.

 Glares.

 He also based such analysis on the fact that his various turns at being a silent invisible giant around the campus……well probably not silent or invisible---hard to do when you were at least 6 feet of articulate perfection honestly, but he had walked in to enough hallways and bathrooms with girls and boys crying pitiful tears over Luhan and his incapability to give a generally, to know that Luhan was a bit special where relationships were involved.

Luhan was emotionally unstable.

 That girl from the cheerleading team, Sooyeon or was Soojung? Mabye it was Sooyoung? Whatever that leggy one was named, had wept into her friends shoulder after a rather public break up, if you call Luhan going on one single date and then pointedly ignoring her attempts to speak to him in the hallways thereafter as a break up, insisting that Luhan had significant issues.

Kris doesn’t really pry honestly.

It’s just that, maybe he had a vested interest in the outcome.

He had accepted in time, that Luhan was indeed a little distant and from his very- legal and non-desperate reconnaissance -that Luhan didn’t do snuggling generally.

Last Saturday when he drooled on Kris’s arm when he fell asleep watching that horrid cheesy horror movie that Kris insisted that he didn’t want to watch, but was still ered into it when Luhan batted those annoyingly long and attractive eyelashes at him and d his thigh and stuck his tongue down his throat.

He was midway into the movie before he could breathe again.

Luhan was not always a fair player. Or ever.

Kris thought the drool meant something special between them.

What else could it be?

[He pointedly ignores that voice in his head, that sounds suspiciously like Luhan’s bratty little cousin Sehun, that snickers as it suggested that Luhan takes him for a drool cushion. When his mind responses with a very stellar “still….he lays on me when he does” with a dreamy sigh, he thinks things have gone too far]

Kris though, can’t be satisfied with just drool.

Never!

He needed more. Wanted more. Craved for it!

He was a greedy bastard, unfortunately.

He wanted a little recognition, a little public acknowledgement or maybe just for Luhan to say he was his boyfriend a single time?

He didn’t think he was asking for much.

Then again.

This was certainly not the reality he had envisioned as he tried to suffocate himself with the pillow from the pure embarrassment and mortification that coursed through his body.

Luhan was ing insane!

****

It was a simple story really.

One that really ought not to have ended with Kris contemplating whether he should end his life with cheap stale smelling cotton knock offs that passed for pillows or wait till he got back to his dorm and at least have the class to take his own life with silk bedding instead.

A man like Kris really ought to do things with style.

It was only befitting.

Anyway.

It had started as a regular day really.

Kris had gotten up to an empty bed,  stifled the disappointment of it being so, though he knew Luhan was unlikely to be there in the morning, decidedly not his sort of thing, a busy body or just not willing to let things be like that, Kris didn’t know.

He showered for an hour, took twenty minutes to comb his hair and since he was in a hurry, got dressed in only fifteen minutes.

He was glad that he only had basketball practice later and was not obligated to dress with any particular intent. He ate breakfast in five minutes, but at eleven fifteen, it was probably an early lunch? He didn’t care.

By the time he made it to the court at twelve, his team was already assembled and running through their drills, waiting for their dashing, awe inspiring captain to finish applying his face cream and grace them with his presence.

If they had a complaint they kept it to themselves. Crazily intimidating eyebrows and a permanent scowl had that sort of effect.

Or did until Chanyeol had seen Kris do buing buing because Luhan was a that loved to embarrass him and now the overgrown puppy had lost all his respect for him. That was the conclusion Kris had come to when Chanyeol threw himself at him with an ear shattering cry of “Hyunnggg”  and attempted to bite his shoulder.

Kris was displeased greatly. Chanyeol didn’t care. He only saw the cutie that did bu-ing bu-ing anyway and that scowl really was just a mask. Chanyeol was sure about that!

Kris pushed him off of course, but he only got a freaky toothy grin. How much that kid must have spent at the dentist to have those things so white, Kris didn’t bother to speculate, especially since Chanyeol smiled even wider when he didn’t respond.

Chanyeol was proving to be a scar to his reputation however; his antics making the straight laced team snicker at their dumbfounded captain that once had the honour of ruling with an iron fist and so much disinterest that he didn’t even know half of their names, now reduced to fending off the dobby look alike with useless scowls.

Kris was helpless.

Which naturally transitioned into the last round before he would end practice for the day, an internal battle raging, Kris blind siding his point guard, who he needed to remember to yell at for letting him get past him, even if Kris was like a basketball God or something, later on getting distracted, sinking the basket in fine style, smug as he was triumphant.

He revelled in the victory, parts his clear superiority and the other being the fact that he had just taught his very disappointing team a clear lesson, the point being that they needed more work on their defensive structure.

He celebrated of course, just for them to know the pain of such a thing and not because he was an egotistical bastard that really got off on extravagant celebrations, even at practice.

It seemed that would be his greatest mistake when a deranged giant with flailing limbs and mothballs where his brain cells were supposed to be, in the midst of his nonsensical excitement, throwing himself at a very unprepared Kris, who this time not only fails to catch him, but is completely blind sided and pushed face first into the floor, with a hapless Chanyeol on his back.

Kris spewed every curse word he knew in three languages and all but burst into flames when he heard that crack.

Then he grinded his teeth and promised bloody murder when he couldn’t move his wrist and the pain was so strong he nearly forgot his name.

He growled at a weak Chanyeol apologizing in fright, before he nearly combust in anger.

That was how he found himself in the hospital wing/clinic, whatever the this subpar over sterilized place was called, Chanyeol nearly sobbing as he insisted on taking him to the nurse, who batted her eyelashes at him, despite the fact that he was clearly injured.

This school was ed up honestly.

He sat on the bed for all of ten minutes before a crying Chanyeol and Jinwoon from the basketball team approached him, his eyes so fierce than Chanyeol actually shivered and made the sign of the cross.

Which was a gross over reaction, but clearly Chanyeol was always in the spirit of excessive stupidity, judging by the terribly ugly gallops of tears that he was actually shedding at the thought of an annoyed Kris.

It was even worse, since it was the gross overreaction that annoyed Kris even more.

And an annoyed Kris meant scary Kris.

Chanyeol wiped a dollop of snot from his nose and Kris eyes narrowed, making Jinwoon laugh and Chanyeol gulp audibly.

Before he could get a word out in support of his defence strategy, also known as ‘Cry like a little until Kris hyungie forgives me” , Chanyeol was bowled over by a now brown haired whirlwind in the form of  a stressed Luhan, the little demon, literally stomping on the now horizontal Chanyeol in his haste to get to Kris side.

Clearly no care to be had for stupid that wasn’t Kris’s brand of it.

Kris smiled like a buffoon of course, Jinwoon giving him a pointed judgemental look, but Kris couldn’t be bothered to give a really, not when Luhan pelted himself at him, no care for hospital decorum or his injury at all, simply interested on being on top of him as he planted wet sappy kisses to every exposed inch of skin and what wasn’t exposed he made so naturally.

Shy wasn’t really Luhan’s thing either.

Jinwoon didn’t seem to care much for the show honestly, but admittedly, there was some amusement to be had from seeing their fearless leader look like a whipped puppy.

“Calm down Luhannie” Kris grinned at him, playfully batting him away, whilst he dragged him closer.

So maybe Kris was a lot little conflicted.

This was Luhan’s fault of course. Clarity of thought was never something that could be associated with Luhan.

Kris however was decidedly pleased to have soft lips on his skin, but Jinwoon was snickering enough to last a lifetime and it was a little embarrassing to be straddled on a hospital bed with an active audience and a hyper active boyfriend that didn’t give a really.

“Shut up!” Luhan insisted, smothering Kris with a kiss that the life out of him.

“You could have died!” Luhan said hysterically, much to Kris’s surprise when he does actually release him from that glorious suffocating kiss, slapping at his face painfully, whilst he stifled him with a knee to the thigh and an elbow to the gut.

“No Love, it’s not that bad” Kris tried to explain, lifting up his smarting swollen wrist for Luhan to have a look at, the doctor having failed to be at the office as expected and the nurse not yet able to examine him.

He was pretty sure it was sprained and nothing more, but Luhan didn’t seem to be getting that,

Wild eyed Luhan gasped horribly, smacking Kris, palm flat against his forehead, smacking him back against the bed with a horrified look, insisting that Kris rest and not hurt himself further.

“Lu Han!” the nurse chastised immediately at the sight that greeted her upon her return. Her gorgeous patient being straddled by the school’s little villain as he smacked him whilst his teammates looked on.

Immediately she was yelling at Luhan to get off him and of course, Luhan responded as to be expected, snarky and borderline rude, hissing at her when she tried to pry him off Kris, who he was insistent was dying and he was under no circumstances leaving him, meanly informing the nurse that Kris had be taken care off immediately or else!

He was too agitated to formulate the threat but his reputation that preceded him of course.

And quite a reputation it was.

*Shudder*

Chanyeol however smartly or infinitely stupidly tried to intervene, and was pushed away none too lightly, made worst when Jinwoon accidentally …Deliberately …let  it slip that Chanyeol was the cause of Kris’s injury.

That had the effect of getting Luhan off Kris, but on the flip side, that meant Chanyeol was being roughed up on the floor with a very overprotective pixie taking revenge.

Somehow or the other Minseok arrived to save the day, dragging Luhan off Chanyeol before he could do anymore damage to Chanyeol physically, though all was done to Kris psychologically, when Chanyeol waved at him from the bed next to his with a bloodied nose and a few bruised bones maybe.

Luhan is a little vicious, Minseok says sheepishly.

This was all very new to Kris.

Oh hell.

Somehow or the other things settle with Minseok’s arrival, the older man at least keeping Luhan’s violent streak at bay, even if he couldn’t get Luhan away from Kris, the older man, glaring at the nurse and Dr. Lee into submission when they tried to removed him from Kris’s side, legs tangled and a comforting hand that roamed his body.

Kris liked the attention, but it was freaky as hell.

His hand was wrapped and secured, pain killer administered under Luhan’s very strong scrutiny and he was likely to be released  had Luhan not asked the young quack if he was insane to send his “FanFan” out of the hospital when he was hurt with an expression that made all Kris’s pores raise.

That talk about Luhan being the spawn of the devil suddenly seeming to have merit.

That was how Kris was admitted to the fake hospital wing with an exemption from classes and forced bed rest that he didn’t need. He would likely protest, seeing no reason to be trapped on a bed when it was only his wrist that was damaged, but a teasing tongue at the sweet spot behind his ear and a purred heartfelt “I’ll take care of you” from the man tangled with him on the tiny bed made him very amiable to the situation as it stood.

Or he was anyway.

Sehun’s arrival breaking that little bubble, the snotty little brat imitating Luhan, throwing himself at him in fake concern, ensuring that he squished his nose with his shoulder and grated on Kris’s nerves before he pulled away with a put on cry of “Hyunggg”.

The little bastard always taking erse pleasure in messing with Kris, who was in fact grateful that Minseok had stayed back after Luhan had kicked out Jinwoon, citing that Kris didn’t need to see anyone but him then adding that Jinwoon just stood by and let his “baby” be hurt and that was intolerable.

He attempted to kick an injured Chanyeol out as well, but unlike Kris, Chanyeol was not above crying. And funnily enough he didn’t cry to rest or have his injuries looked after, but just that he can’t leave “Hyungie’s side”.

Kris was a little creeped out.

“Thought you said your idiot boyfriend was dying Hyung” Sehun complained when he took a seat, tired of his fake act of worry after a minute, though a part of him was genuinely thankfully that Kris was alright, not wanting him to be hurt.

The giant was stoned faced and annoying, but anyone dumb enough to get involved with Luhan and worst, dumb enough to attempt a relationship with the psychopath deserved pity.

Sehun was a kind empathetic person.

That was why he brought Kris bubble tea.

“Don’t you see? He’s hurt! His hand could have been broken or something. He can’t ever be hurt!” Luhan responded with a glare, displeased that Sehun was belittling his poor baby’s injury, before he returned to petting Kris’s hair with a slightly deranged look in his eye and Kris wasn’t exactly sure what was the best way to respond so let that go immediately.

“I knew he looked like a cry baby wuss” Sehun laughed meanly as he took a seat next to the bed, legs stretching to rest on Kris’s bed and if his hand wasn’t injured he would have smacked it away immediately.

The little as snug as he could be.

“Why are you even here?” Kris questioned, genuinely curious, since he could see no reason for the visit.

What was he even doing there? He didn’t even know how Luhan knew he was injured that quickly and not sure how Minseok knew where to find him either.

Kris frowned.

“Does my poor baby’s hand hurt?” Luhan cooed at him upon seeing his frown.

 Like ing cooed.

It was creepy as hell, but Kris was just sort of going with the flow right about then and just chalking it up to Luhan’s intricacies or at the very less one of the side effects of his insanity.

“”Baby” ? Seriously? How dumb is that? And you let him call you that? You’re so freaking whipped” Sehun snickered as he drank the bubble tea that he brought for Kris, embarrassed for the poor er, Luhan really determined to torture him and the idiot too dumb to see that.

wasn’t dying so Sehun didn’t see why he had to give up his precious bubble tea.

Kris kicked his legs off the bed in retaliation, now the smug one, trying to pretend that Luhan had not just called him ‘baby’ in public and that he had grinned like a ing well trained seal at the action, ignoring his lack of a spine and enjoying Sehun’s annoyed expression, especially when Luhan flipped him off and reached over to grab his bubble tea, taking a large sip as he ignored Sehun’s protest.

“Sehunnie that is not the way to talk to a Hyung. Apologize” Minseok reprimanded from the bed over where he was sitting with Chanyeol, the perpetually cheerful puppy, who Kris was still not sure was not on meth or something, more sombre as Minseok had taken over the role of mother, hugging the upset kid to his thighs.

Even if he was busy with Chanyeol, that did not mean that Sehun had a free pass to be a brat, especially since he knew how Luhan got when people he loved was hurt in that way.

 They all knew what his overbearing behaviour meant and why they needed to be careful with him right then.

“But Hyung, I-“ Sehun protested. He was just teasing anyway. Why should be apologize? Humph.

“No buts Sehunnie. You-“ Minseok reprimanded before he was interrupted.

“Is everything okay? Is Kris okay? Is he hurt badly?” A frantic Suho burst through the door, entirely dishevelled and looking pale and worried, eyes wide as they scanned for Kris and his injuries.

His arrival naturally had the effect of shutting Sehun up immediately from the likely mean things his dirty mouth was likely to spew, sitting upright and demurely in a split second, giving Suho wide gentle eyes, cheeks colouring as Kris snorted.

He didn’t t get the opportunity to comment on it before Suho was looking at him as if he thought he would die.

 It was nearly comical, but Sehun was having none of that.

Not a single cell in his body able to see his perfect Suho hyung care that much about Luhan’s doornail for a boyfriend.

“It’s just a sprained wrist” Sehun said cuttingly before he realized that Suho would hear him, looking down at his lap when  Suho turned to him, Kris snorting for real this time at the way Sehun batted his eyelashes just that much, Suho attempting to smile, but still too worried about Kris.

“Are you okay?” Suho asked as he caught his breath, giving Kris and by extension Luhan, a long suffering look, but it was mostly concern directed at Kris, who was unable to answer as the door was once more pushed open.

“Are you guys dying?” Jongdae asked cheerfully, clearly unable to read the situation at all, dragging a sleepy Yixing with him, giving Kris a once over before his attention turned to Chanyeol, who was still  quite literally his wounds, Minseok and Sehun both giving him disgusted looks.

“I am” Chanyeol identified himself and got a smack from Minseok since he was just being depressed that he injured his hyung.

“What’d I miss? Why the SOS?” Jongin prevented Chanyeol from elaborating when he entered; giving everyone worried looks, especially Luhan who was curled up with Kris protectively.

“He hurt his hand. Poor baby is in pain” Luhan explained as he sat up, Kris leaning against the back of the bed he was resting upon, forced to move if he wanted to explain properly, but still close to Kris.

“That’s it?” Jongin asked as he wondered over to Chanyeol, who immediately perked up at the sight of his beloved Jongin, Minseok muttering about traitors and ungrateful brats.

“What do you mean that’s it? He sprained his wrist!” Luhan said as if they were all idiot for not understanding that he didn’t even wind to touch Kris if it would even leave a trace on his precious Wufan.

So the hell not happening on his watch.

“From your message you would think Kris hyung was dying” Jongdae complained as he took a seat, Suho still fussing over Kris, who was busy responding to his inquiries as Sehun glared the fires of hell at Kris for having Suho’s attention.

“He still needs to take care of it though. A sprained ligament or muscle can be very painful” Suho contributed sensibly, making Sehun have to fan himself.

The fool was such a freaking nerd sometimes.

Why was it so hot?

Sehun gulped and maybe stifled a squeal.

“That’s what I have been saying!” Luhan immediately commented, giving Kris a meaningful look already, even though Kris had yet to disagree with him on that point.

Kris personally didn’t think it was really important as Luhan was making it out to be, but what harm it was in indulging him?

Luhan pressed against him, promising to take care of him, cooing over him, staying with him was everything he would hope for. Being a little babied was not such a big deal anyway. He saw the need to hover sometimes.

He was a little concerned when he thought about the fact that when Luhan had hurt his leg and he tried to hover Luhan had locked him a room and hit him with his clutches for bugging him so much. Luhan was like ten times as bad, but Kris thankfully had a lot of tolerance for all things Luhan, finding the busybody of a man delightfully perfect.

“It’s a sprain right? That’s no problem” Yixing contributed to the discussion, leaving the two chairs available to sit on Jongdae’s lap, the smaller man immediately wrapping arms around his waist and pressing kisses to his t-shirt covered back.

“They are really inconvenient” Suho lamented when he does in fact take one of the seats that were free, much too far away from Sehun, much to the maknae’s relief and displeasure, sad that he was too shy now to do anything.

Arrgghhhh… This .

“It’s not that bad I think. I just can’t flex my fingers without some pain and move my wrist” Kris explained in what he thought was a very comforting manner, directed at those that were worried, giving Chanyeol the side eye, when his supposed “servant” now entirely concerned with Jongin, who had taken a seat at the foot of his bed, and not him.

“Well that .” Jongdae said with clear lament.

“Now you won’t even be able to for a while” Jongdae snickered at his comment, since of course that is where his polluted mind would end up.

 It’s not his fault really. He did spend most of his day in various degrees of ual heat courtesy of his equally concupiscent boyfriend.

His words do make Suho legitimately blush a shade of pink that sets a fire in the teenager blatantly staring at him in an odd mixture of awe and hormonal lust, which makes Sehun think he is pure untouched angel.

And how epically glorious it would when he finally gets to corrupt every magnificent part of him, Sehun’s mind already descending into the gutter.

What did they expect from him anyway?

“We could help you with that though Hyung….anytime” Yixing winked at Kris with a y of his lips and Jongdae is all wicked smile and demonstrative groping that makes Yixing hum in that crazed glee.

Luhan however had a different view on the matter entirely.

“What the does that mean?” Luhan questioned with a glare, but Yixing doesn’t back down at all. He had never been afraid of his friend and roommate, enjoying the way his eyes narrow.

Minseok was right, Yixing noted.

He didn’t peg Luhan for the possessive sort, never having been that way with his endless prior hook ups, but things have clearly changed. The message sent confirming that if nothing else. Messing with Luhan was a little too easy now, Sehun biting his lips to stop from snickering.

Suho feeling entirely uncomfortable in the room instantly, still not sure how he managed to fit in with the insanity, but he had been adopted as a friend clearly.

“Exactly that. Kris ge doesn’t need to worry about wanking while injured. ChenChen and I would be happy to handle that for him. Right baby?” Yixing said with a laugh, loving the way Luhan’s face turns three shades of red, all on borderline complaints, nudging Jongdae for the answer, Kris feeling a little uncomfortable.

“Like there is any ing way you will get near my boyfriend” Luhan challenged, making Sehun laugh for real this time, Luhan too immersed in his horrid possessive personality to see that they were messing with him.

Kris just a little stuck by the fact that he had actually said that word, staring at Luhan with stars in his eyes.

“I will certainly take care of Wufan, in each and every way” Luhan assured once he had their attention, giving them a demonstration, leaning across to plant a possessive kiss, tongue invading Kris’s mouth, stifling whatever he was going to say either complaints for talking about him ing or just gleeful exclamations about finally being identified as his boyfriend.

“Ewwww” Sehun whined childishly, disgusted at the sight of Kris and Luhan.

Like he didn’t have enough to deal with Jongdae and Yixing on a daily basis. The only reason that Yixing wasn’t defiling  Jongdae already was because that had already made Sehun want to claw his eyes out when he walked into Luhan’s dorm to hang out with him and saw Jongdae bent at a horrid angle and instantly closed his eyed.

They were ing in the shower too, which was why they missed the early SOS.

Luhan’s message for when he needed them.

“SOS….. Sick Bay. My….. .yeah…Kris hurt. Gonna kill whoever did it”

Sent to them all. They knew what it meant.

“Xing and I are bored. We need a little spice and Kris hyung seems to need some real excitement as well…Right Kris ah?” Jongdae continues to rile Luhan up even as Sehun fake retches at the sight of Luhan choking on Kris’s tongue, the taller man pulling a way and looking away in shyness after Luhan pulled away to glare at the rude es that actually dared to say something like that.

“Don’t you degenerate rejects even think about it or I will destroy everything you love” Luhan hissed as he wrapped an arm around his property, giving any of those with any idea of such a very clear warning, just as Minseok and Jongin laughed.

Chanyeol didn’t get the joke. Or anything really.

Suho has no idea that Luhan was so possessive, not really fitting with his reputation, but he could see that Yixing was messing with him and it was sort of funny. Their friendships were very sweet, especially the way that they dealt with Luhan and Baekhyun’s insanity.

 “Wait. Where is Baekhyun?”  Minseok asked in interest suddenly, even as they laughed, Chanyeol clawing at his shirt to explain it to him, which he ignored.

You couldn’t really talk about without thinking about Baekhyun to be honest.

“He got the SOS. Even if Luhan hyung is just being overly dramatic princess he should have been here” Jongdae pointed out, even as he decided it was time enough to explore Yixing’s crotch, playfully groping him.

“Ewww!!! Can you guys freaking NOT??” Sehun protested the second Yixing moaned, wanting to erase the visual from him mind, pretty sure he would lose weight from the amount of barfing he did with his friends involved.

He restrained from doing more simply on account of the hot gorgeous angel that he was ering into thinking he was a demure princess prince half smiling at him ever so often, setting Sehun’s skin ablaze, coughing on Suho’s blistering perfection.

Jongdae however ignored him, save and except for the very rude gesture and Luhan was back to petting Kris.

The Baekhyun question was answered ten minutes later when a member of the arts club brought Baekhyun to the nurse, the psychopath babbling about Kyungsoo and stars as the nurse popped his shoulder back into place with a piercing scream,  after Kyungsoo had tugged too hard when he did the Judo throw after Baekhyun had tried to wrap a hand around his shoulder when he saw him on the way to the hospital, legitimately admitted to the bed next to Chanyeol, since he didn’t need to be really hospitalize, but in too much pain to be home.

That outcome meant that Kris was stuck with all of Luhan’s friends and Suho, since he didn’t mind visiting his Vice President or really just subtly flirting with Sehun, seemingly enjoying the way Sehun would look close to fainting any time he spoke to him, Kris not sure how he felt about that, hating that little protective claw he felt in his chest for the little demon.

Suho just had better know what he was doing. That was all.

Kris didn’t have a real problem with the set up however, Luhan annoyingly clingy and overbearing, staying at his side and refusing to leave him and no matter how much that rational thought tells him that he should be a little weirded out by the complete change he can’t be bothered.

Luhan was endlessly embarrassing when his teammates visited him and Chanyeol later, babying Kris unendingly making him seem to have a low tolerance for pain, but Kris liked to closeness too much to care.

He even woke up that morning with Luhan beside him.

Really? Even with Chanyeol snoring and Baekhyun lucid dreaming about Kyungsoo’s couldn’t ruin that moment.

It was the perfect reality, until…..

****

The loud speaker boomed in the room.

“This is a public service announcement directed to all you insane es that think you can touch what does not ing belong to you.”

 “And yes, that means I am talking to you Zhang Yixing and your satyriasis boyfriend and anyone else who is dumb enough to even think about Kris Wu, much less hope to touch him. Yes, even you Scary nurse, I see you. Like the hell you need to be groping his chest to wrap his wrist? You’re just lucky I needed you to finish wrap Fanfan’s hand or you would have been sorry!”

“Anyway.”

“To be very clear to you desperate ers, Kris Wu and his little ‘yong’ …well……..not little….definitely not little….hahahha….it’s actually a gorgeous  glorious monstrosity that I thoroughly enjoy choking-“

STATIC BLARING.

Kris wasn’t sure if he is breathing.

“LUHAN!!!” Suho can be heard screeching and likely wrestling the microphone away from Luhan.

“What?” Luhan responded nonchalantly as can be.

“What the hel- I mean what on earth are you doing?” Suho questioned, likely in the midst of trying to reclaim the microphone connected to the school’s PA system, blasting throughout the school and even the dorms if he used the right setting.

“Public Service Announcements” Luhan laughed happily, hearing his hands clapping.

“This is your President speaking. Please do forgive-“

By then Kris was too mortified to listen anymore, attempting to suffocate himself with a pillow.

His something-not even sure if he was his boyfriend since Luhan always got this messed up expression anytime he called him his boyfriend which made it hard for Kris to know if it was mutually accepted and had therefore restrained from doing so least he spook the little deer—had just announced to the school that he belonged to him.

That he could live with, as deranged and insane as that was.

But…

“Yong”

OH DEAR GOD!!!

Luhan had given his a nickname. What the actual ?

Then he announced said nickname to the entire school population.

The part that made him on the verge of suicide was definitely the accompanying “little”.

How does one live now?

Chanyeol and Baekhyun had both laughed themselves sick before the end of the announcements and Kris really can’t live anymore.

HELP.

The pillow was lifted from his head and he was met with gorgeous dark brown eyes and the cutest nose in existence, a wide eyed little deer staring down at him.

Then a small body was covering his, Luhan crawling on top of him.

“You’re ing insane” Kris choked out, not sure where he should even begin.

That must be said though.

“I know” Luhan hummed with a smile and the warmth in Kris’s chest is sickeningly strong, even as he tried to deal with an insane boyfriend.

And no he did NOT giggle at the thought. Boyfriend~

He wanted to so ing much.

Hehehe.

“How could you do that? I don’t even-“  Kris attempted to chastise but was brought to a screeching halt when Luhan grabbed his face and attempted to stifle him with his tongue.

If there was a way to die, Kris figured he had the best option.

Luhan the life out of him and then some, possessive stern hands that held him into place, body caught in a web.

When Luhan couldn’t breathe anymore he released him, both panting and breathless.

“You’re mine” Luhan said directly as he took a breath, staring down into Kris’s eyes, ignoring Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s ongoing commentary and fancam-ing.

That was the one thing Luhan needed to say.

Kris nodded dumbly, though that may have had something to do with his face still being in Luhan’s grasp and the bastard was freakishly strong for his size, perhaps helping Kris nod.

“I know” Kris acknowledged anyway.

He had no problems saying it, especially not when Luhan beamed at him.

He was always the more vocal one.

This provoked Luhan to suffocate him with his lips again, but this time Kris is quite happy to drag him back down to his body on a little exploratory trip, a lot less conscious of public decency when he had Luhan rubbing against him and a very happy filled heart.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun of course get flipped off by Luhan for their unnecessary commentary and it took the principal dragging Luhan off Kris, to have a serious discussion with him about appropriate conduct on school grounds for the kissing and groping to end.

The teasing didn’t end however.

Like ever.

***

“Yong” …….Sehun snickers meanly.

“Oh shut up” Kris grumbles, entirely embarrassed to his roots, burying his head on the table.

He will never forgive Luhan for naming his and then publicly announcing it. Never!

[This Luhan chuckles at, since they both know that Luhan is more than persuasive and Kris is his —or so Luhan snickers with his friends when Kris is out of earshot anyway.]

“Do you want me to tell you in graphic detail without leaving a single glorious painfully descriptive point out as to why I called it that?” Luhan volunteers with a smirk, eyebrows lifted challengingly as he rubs his boyfriend’s back.

“Hyung!! GOD NO!!” Sehun screeches in horror.

He drops his fork and covers his ears in a defensive posture, shaking back and forth as the memories of Luhan’s last detailed story returned, dashing from the table to go empty his stomach, giving Luhan a disgusted look.

Luhan laughs as he watches him leave.

Kris is still too embarrassed to face humanity.

Luhan eats Sehun’s apple pie.

The he tries to feed Kris some, but Kris really rather not be forced to endure all the amused looks  and everyone talking about him and “yong”.

Seriously.

Sigh.

Kris can’t be sure if this was heaven or hell.

Luhan gives him the answer when he leans his head against his face and nuzzles a little.

“Wanna know what I named your ?”

Definitely hell.

A/N: So apparently today marks the one year anniversary of this fic…..wow…..how time flies and things change. I am always forgetting this fic, so I am not sure what else will come. Thanks for being here anyway ☺