Its Repurposing!

Chapter 19

It’s Repurposing!

It’s that kind of day.

The kind where it all seems just to be too hard to be real. As if someone ideally sat somewhere above and dictated the most outrageous thing that came to mind and made it his reality.

Kris shakes his head with tiredness and frustration clawing at his bones and in that minute he finds it hard pressed to deny the possibility of a playful deity having some fun at his expense. He does have some awful instances where he is certain he has earned the wrath of someone with the power to pull those famed puppeteering strings.

Or alternatively, he is just ing unlucky.

He would take either explanation at this point.

Sighhhhhh.

Then he sighs again.

It really is that kind of day.

Kris drags a large hand over his face and tries his hardest not to mess up his hair, though he suspects that he has long lost that war, the newly dyed metallic strands in absolute disarray from the stress of day.

He sighs for the tenth time in as many minutes as he looks around his virtually empty apartment.

He has heard about individuals being robbed but he cannot say that he had been much of a victim to the ills of society, save and except his boyfriend’s general insanity, which he often considers himself to be a victim of, but this context that is neither here nor there.

His somewhat privileged existence has lured him into a false sense of security clearly, never expecting to be robbed, especially not within the confines of their extremely expensive and exclusive campus.

The place is literally empty.

Well.

Not Literally.

After the shock had worn off, he had taken the time to examine his rather large one bedroom school assigned apartment on the West Block of the campus that is assigned to seniors like himself with parents that contributed by way of hefty financial donations to the school.

He didn’t have a roommate nor did he live in a near mansion like Luhan either, but he generally liked his small well decorated home. Which is why he felt kind of sick when he noted that nearly all his furniture was gone.

Even the decorative items like the side-tables and lamps.

Which was sort of jarring frankly, never having considered it even a possibility that someone would steal something as mundane as a vase, but then again, he supposed he was not well versed in the art of home intrusion or grand larceny so, what did he know?

Even some of his kitchen appliances seem to be missing, but he put that out his mind, instead choosing to investigate the state of his bedroom, where his more valuable items were stored.

He found the bedroom to be much of the same, his furniture all gone, his large king size bed, the bedside tables, dressers (exclusive of his very distinguished collection of self-care products which were left in a box on the floor), the room cleaned out except for a few cardboard boxes on the floor and his bedsheets folded in a corner as well as some of his artwork.

His tech items were all missing, the same with his outrageously large television and theatre effect amplifications from his living room. His jewellery was mostly gone, except for a few of his watches, which oddly enough were the more expensive ones if he remembered correctly. He could see no motive for why a thief would take his bedside lamp but leave behind a fifty thousand dollar watch, but then again, he supposed he really had no special insight into the minds of the criminally inclined.

The fact that the thief also seemed to be commenting on his fashion choices left a bad taste in his mouth, more so than the loss of the somewhat costly items.

All his designer suits and shoes were gone from his closet, save and except anything marked Gucci and Michael Kors, his shoes collection seemed to match the taste of this seemingly peculiar criminal as most of his shoe collection was gone, save and effect a few of his more nuanced Air Jordan picks.

He did note with some disdain however that all his Supreme items were left untouched, all his streetwear picks thrown aside along with a considerable headwear collection, a few beanies though and two snapbacks seem to be missing but he had such a large collection that he truthfully couldn’t tell from a cursory glance

He did take note however that the thief decided that his old faded sweatpants and school hoodies met his/her exquisite taste but not Kris’s Off White collection.

Aside from his wristwatches, his earring collection seemed to have been judged harshly as well, the majority being left in their place, only noting that a few of his less flashy and also less expensive studs were gone.

Amazingly enough the critique of his taste continued into his keepsakes, the box filled with tokens from old relationships seemingly not meeting the taste of this thief, he or she forgoing some rather valuable pieces of jewellery, which were either gifts returned to him and given to him.

His sock and underwear drawers seemed to have been judged as well, the thief seemingly selecting which suited his fancy and which didn’t. He noted with definite distaste that his “lucky” boxers did not stand up to this thief’s special scrutiny.

Kris was decidedly confused.

Who the steals briefs??? And not just stealing underwear but leaves the emergency stash of cash stored amongst the underwear? Shouldn’t a thief care about the money??

Also why would a thief leave a twenty thousand dollar artwork hanging over his bed and steal a few framed pictures of him and his friends?

ing crazy.

Sigh.

At least they left Ace, his favourite stuffed animal!

In fact the thief only seemed to take the stuffed dragon toy that Luhan had given to him to supposedly apologize for telling the entire school that he called Kris’s “yong”.

Kris didn’t know how that was an apology when Luhan couldn’t stop laughing with Sehun cackling next him, but somehow that was enough for Luhan and by that it also meant that it had to be enough for Kris.

He couldn’t say he was sorry to see it go either and may have smiled when he realized that the thief had also made away with the box of “costumes” that Luhan had given him a week ago in preparation for “a ual adventure”.

Why Luhan wanted him to dress as their chemistry teacher he didn’t know and thankfully, will now never have to find out

There are some small mercies in the world clearly!

Though his view was quickly altered when he also realized that Luhan’s prized signed Man U t-shirt was also missing, embarrassed that it was one of the first items of “value” he tried to find when he realised he was robbed.

Luhan loved that shirt more than he probably loved Kris. If it was lost Luhan would kill him!

The only reason it was even at his house was that Luhan had commandeered his television the night before to watch a match, grumbling that Sehun had conspired with his new tech friend, someone named Youngho, to lock Luhan out of the televisions at their house, the sets only showing episodes of Barney and Friends.

Luhan hated Barney for some reason that Kris never learnt, the older man trying to strangle Sehun whenever he tried to tell the story.

With the shirt missing, Kris had an instant headache.

The thief was quite thorough, the apartment not messy or thrashed, the thief seemingly spending time to decide what he wanted, not just going for value but making personal decisions it would seem, judging from the fact that items of value were left behind and others of zero practical worth were taken.

It was if he was being curated for a lack of better word. Some items were deemed valuable and some were not, despite the fact that some of the items clearly had more of a resale value than others.

Why were his sweats taken and not his Supremes?

Why were his lucky boxers discarded and his briefs taken, whilst the cash remained?

He was not only violated and his privacy infringed but he was somehow made to feel very self-conscious!

Which somehow was more annoying that being robbed!

The sick er also had to go through his kitchen placing judgement on his choices of snacks? All his candy bars gone but all the granola bars in place? Really?

What kind of picky thief was this???

With his emotional state being compromised for being so ing aggrieved that a thief would not be just so despicable to take things that didn’t belong to him or her, but to do it in such a clearly judgmental way, he was incredibly pissed off.

His mood of course did not improve in the slightest when he finally found the wherewithal to report the incident. Truthfully he should have done so when he first realized that he had been robbed, but the shock of actually being a victim was crime was overwhelming.

He contacted campus security first and thereafter the Dean.

Both were useless frankly.

Campus Security responded fairly quickly but the officers on duty where more shocked than he was that he was actually robbed on the campus grounds, with him being the one that had to point out that the buildings were under constant surveillance.

By the time they contacted the Admin Building to get permission to access the tapes, due to a strict non-disclosure agreement in effect (to protect the rather sordid lives of the student body population or rather to protect the reputation of their families) they had wasted two hours, only to find that the tapes where wiped and in its place an inserted cut of the movie ‘The Nut Job’.

Who the was this thief???

And more than that, Kris began to suspect it might have all been some sort of elaborate prank, simply for the fact that there were no available witnesses and the security access to the tapes were usually quite tight, after an incident in which something rather interesting was leaked and the student in question’s father lost half a billion dollars in stock value as a result of same.

So the thief or prankster had to be potentially well connected. This thought scared Kris even more. To be criminally minded and having access to resources to enact devious plans could not be a good thing.

At all.

And that is how Kris finds himself sitting at his kitchen bar surveying the damage done to his apartment and contemplating his next steps.

It’s not as if he isn’t able to replace the items. A phone call to his father’s secretary would have the furniture and the tech items replaced by the end of the night if he were to be especially insistent. The clothes would likely take longer, some genuinely limited editions and collector items. He isn’t especially attached to any of them, the things he actually favoured all remained, which both comforted and infuriated him.

The item he most worries about insanely enough is the signed Manchester United jersey, since it was one from the 2008 season when Cristiano Ronaldo still played for the team and Luhan is rather attached to that particular one. He has one for each season of course, but that one especially is of importance and Kris just doesn’t know how to break it to him that Kris somehow lost it. Through no fault of his own of course, but things like that rarely ever mattered to Luhan.

Kris supposes he should make his way over to Luhan’s house. He doesn’t really need a place to stay. As a member of the Student Council he had the option of making use of the Student Council building, with a room reserved for him as the Vice President. He doesn’t really want to break it to Luhan that his ManU jersey is in the clutches of a thief but he also doesn’t want to have to deal with Suho’s panic when he tells him that there is an active thief on campus.

He can already see the extended meetings they will need to have to address student safety and such, Suho having based his platform on student importance, though it certainly help that his father was the 8^th richest man in the country and his cherub face was quite appealing to the masses, Sehun being a clear victim of all of Suho’s charm.

Though since the events of the Winter Formal, Sehun has seemingly had a change of heart, all mentions of anyone named “Suho” or “Junmyeon” strictly forbidden in his presence. This fact Kris learned the hard way, when the little demon kicked him in the shines and complained to Minseok that Kris had ‘attacked’ him when had made the mistake of mentioning having a meeting with Suho a couple of weeks back. If glares could kill, Kris would be dead ten times over.

So that leaves him with only one real option.

Either stay with Luhan and fess up about the case of the missing shirt or go stay at the student council building and deal with Suho right at this moment.

Out of the two, somehow to him, Luhan is more palatable, not willing to deal with Suho’s panic whilst he is still coming to terms with the fact that he had actually been robbed.

His father pays half a million a year for him to be robbed on campus.

Truly amazing.

Facing Luhan however is not going to be easy, but maybe he can distract him for a while about the t-shirt, Luhan not always very attentive and well, he knows some very interesting things to keep Luhan busy.

Then again you never know with someone as unhinged as Luhan.

Kris releases a mighty sigh, drawing a paw like hand over his face and patting his chest, steeling himself for what was to come.

*************

Its oddly quiet when Kris opens the door to Luhan’s house (mansion?), not really sure how Luhan managed to get this house assigned to him, being distracted with Luhan’s hand down his pants when the older man had heedlessly explained to him why he switched out of student housing to move to his own rather excessive house.

Kris needless to say, missed most of the details.

He is thankful however that he recalls the key-code, after he was assaulted by a flying bottle the last time he knocked and Luhan had to get the door in the middle of a match.

Apparently that was ‘unacceptable’.

Since then Kris had learned that it was best to just use the keycode Luhan had given to him without much ceremony so as not to potentially disturb him and be a victim of his violent tendencies.

Kris thought then that the sharing of keycodes was some sort of relationship milestone and expected that there would maybe be some meaning or symbolism attached to the action but that did not seem to be the case from the way Luhan had given it to him. Luhan simply viewed it by way of convenience.

He did not have a doorman and was under no circumstances to be expected to open the door for his boyfriend of all people.

Kris still took it to mean Luhan trusted him and wanted to share more of his life with him. He casually ignored the fact that all of Luhan’s friends seem to have the keycode as well, even Baekhyun who often barged in unannounced wailing about some injury of the other Kyungsoo had inflicted during the day and seeking comfort.

That was usually the run of things, but somehow Kris still liked to think of himself as special.

‘People are entitled to their delusions’ he assures himself.

Despite the silence upon entry, he does find Minseok in the living room, seemingly reading a book, with his boyfriend of course laying across Minseok’s lap, quite oblivious to both the inappropriateness of such action and his presence.

By now he has adjusted to the weird co-dependent relationship Luhan has with his best friend and is no longer bothered by the excessive closeness, often considering Minseok to be an ally in dealing with Luhan to be honest.

It’s only Minseok that bothers to offer a greeting, a small smile directed at him and a hand lifted in the air. Luhan’s eyes are still closed, not thinking it fit to greet him or anyone else, looking comfortable with his head cushioned on Minseok’s lap and a hand thrown over his eyes.

Kris offers a weak smile in return and nothing else.

He flops down on the chair noisily, the tiredness of the day and the ridiculousness of the situation having taken its toll, his head rocking back onto the armchair as he releases a tired huff.

He just wants to mope frankly.

The most judgemental thief in the ing world had just robbed him of most of his worldly possessions and on top of that he would have to eventually have to tell Luhan he lost his Manchester United jersey and then be murdered by his boyfriend.

How the is this his life?

He groans to himself again, flopping around somewhat nosily as he tries to sink entirely into the large armchair that he just kind of considers to be ‘his’ within the house.

It’s weird to choose furniture at someone else’s house but that’s what he did, deeming this chair his, especially since he often used it to mope around in when he is forced to wait hours on Luhan even though he called ahead and confirmed their date.

Seriously why does he still dating Luhan when he is such an ??

Maybe something to do with his taste in men he reminds himself as he contemplates the virtues of closing his eyes and never opening them for a long time.

He vaguely hears some grumbling from Luhan but is too busy feeling sorry for himself to pay attention to it and doesn’t move from his spot of moping until he feels someone settle on his lap.

Then he is jabbed in the stomach.

Ouch.

He groans just as he finally lifts his head to glare at his boyfriend who is now seated on his lap, also glaring right back at him.

“What the is wrong with you?” Luhan inquires with a roll of his eyes, which is rather typical of him.

He does make himself comfortable on Kris’s lap however, shifting his bony around until he is in an acceptable spot, his hands pressed against Kris’s shoulder.

“Long day” Kris grunts, not sure what else he should say this point.

“Sufficiently so for you to be here stinking up the place with your dark aura?” Luhan questions with put upon disinterest mixing with annoyance.

It’s a weird expression that Kris doesn’t really know what to make of it.

Luhan really is such a confusing person to him.

He is certain however that Luhan is not amused at his moping but he also probably doesn’t really care as to the reason for it either.

Again, why is Kris so in love with this ridiculous man?

He asks himself that every single day and is yet to find a proper answer.Something about his and hormones and insanity or something maybe.

“Minseokkie made me get up to make sure you were alright” Luhan grumbles.

“Why must you be so much work?” He goes on to ask.

Kris just looks at him blankly.

He isn’t sure he will ever get accustomed to Luhan’s form of affection but he does think he has gotten good at responding in kind.

He simply reaches up and bops him on the nose.

Luhan holds it in for exactly two seconds before he giggles sweetly, the put on attitude (is it put upon? Kris hopes it is) falling away as he presses forward to kiss Kris, who immediately responds, wrapping a large hand around Luhan’s waist to pull him closer, the heat of his body infinitely pleasant against his own, letting himself get lost in the unintentional comfort that Luhan is providing.

[Okay, so maybe this is why he is still dating Luhan]

Minseok makes a fake barfing sound when it gets a little heated and since Kris isn’t as shameless as Luhan is, he dutifully withdraws, earning a whine from Luhan and an eye-roll from Minseok.

Luhan gets a kiss to the nose as appeasement though, which naturally turns into a few minutes of petting and Minseok declaring them to be gross, smacking the back of Luhan’s head as he makes a quick exit, seemingly unable to deal with the couple before him.

Eventually Luhan gets bored of the life out of Kris and sets upon playing with his messy hair, which in turns prompts a return to conversation

“If your hair is this messy, then it really must have been a long day” Luhan comments, a small teasing smile playing upon his lips and nimble fingers through Kris’s hair.

Kris wants to bask in the soothing rhythm of Luhan’s ministrations but thinks he might as well deal with it. He needs a place to stay anyway and just kind of wants to be able to complain to his heart’s desire.

“I was robbed” Kris admits with a sigh.

“What?” Luhan gasps, sitting more alert, his adorable eyes wide with what is likely to be concerned.

Kris can’t read it well, the expression that is, not with how taken he is with the cuteness of it all.

Liked the whipped Luhan insists he is, he finds himself compelled but press a kiss to Luhan’s cheek out of fondness.

“I was robbed. Someone broke in I guess? I didn’t check the lock so I don’t know. All I know is that most of my stuff is gone. Even my furniture” Kris informs thereafter, playing with the ends of Luhan’s t-shirt, not wanting to think about the robbery itself.

I was robbed.

He still can’t believe it.

“It’s ing insane. I can’t see why anyone would want to rob my apartment to begin with or how they managed to not only get onto the campus but to remove so many items in what was probably a short space of time. The whole thing is just really very weird” Kris complains, unloading his ill feelings to his unusually quiet boyfriend.

The silence is however broken by a loud laugh.

Of all the possible responses that Kris expected from his boyfriend laughter was not realistically one of them. He expected sympathy for the most part and after confessing he lost his shirt, then maybe some yelling.

He doesn’t see anything especially amusing about him losing most of his worldly possessions whilst simultaneously being weighed and measured and found wanting by a thief. He can see, maybe some vague amusement in the fact that his lucky boxers didn’t make the cut but that is only in truly charitable circumstances.

Seriously.

Kris will never understand how Luhan’s mind works.

Especially not when Luhan breaks into full on belly full laughter, his face contouring in that hideous way it does when he laughs.

Kris cringes.

He loves the man but his laughing expressions are things out of nightmares.

And that is not even an exaggeration. He has legitimately woken up in cold sweats from nightmares in which all he was forced to do was watch Luhan laugh in that grotesque way he does so very often, his jaw unhinging in such a frightful way.

Shivers.

“What the is so funny?” Kris eventually asks with some heat when Luhan keeps laughing boldly, so much so that Kris had to help him stay upright.

Seriously, what the is so funny about him being robbed?

If he didn’t already know his boyfriend is insane, things like this sure do a good job of serving as confirmation.

Luhan doesn’t answer and keeps on laughing, the sound so horrid that Minseok makes his way back into the room to perhaps inquire who is being choked or drowned.

It’s really quite grating.

“What’s wrong with him?” Minseok eventually questions verbally when Kris missed his nonverbal inquiries, being too busy glaring the fires of hell at his overly amused boyfriend.

“Like hell I know” Kris grunts.

He tries to get Luhan’s attention but the man is just doubled over now, clutching at his stomach and heaving in an even uglier way.

Yes somehow he manages to make the horrible laughter even ugly.

His boyfriend is indeed skilful.

And ing annoying of course.

Kris rolls his eyes in annoyance just as Minseok gives him another questioning look, getting a shrug in response from Kris.

Really? Did he look like he had any idea what sort of craziness goes through Luhan’s mind?

“Does anyone ever know what he is on about?” Kris comments when Minseok keeps giving that curious look, which is in and of itself really so pointless.

It’s Luhan.

Why even bother?

Minseok has more stamina that he does he supposes, the man approaching Luhan despite the clear damager that is awaiting him.

Minseok is a brave man indeed.

He takes the final steps to his doom and violently shakes Luhan’s shoulder, trying to get his attention.

“Stop that. It’s ugly. Haven’t we talked about this?” Minseok complains to a still laughing Luhan, who finally starts to sober up, wiping the tears from his eyes as he heaves a breathe or two.

“Wufan says he was robbed” Luhan says as if it’s the most amusing thing he has ever heard in his entire life, giggling to himself once more as he gets the words out.

“Were you?” Minseok turns his attention to Kris, who nods in the affirmative.

“For real?” Minseok follows up, seemingly having the same reaction as Kris.

“Yeah. Took almost everything from my apartment” Kris explains as his boyfriend continues his giggling fit with no end in sight.

“Wow. That . I’m sorry” Minseok placates, clearly unsure how exactly to express his obvious sympathy at Kris’s misfortune and Kris is grateful.

Minseok is a good man. The likes him a lot. He is pretty sure he would have lost whatever sanity he had left if he didn’t have Minseok to help him deal with the daily craziness.

They were brothers in arms in such a way.

“It’s okay” Kris assures, wanting to assure Minseok that it was fine, the older man’s cheeks drawn in sadness, making him look rather adorable.

It also makes Luhan’s response even more grating.

“Yah!” Kris yells in a low tone, pinching at Luhan’s side to make him stop.

“Why is this so ing funny to you?” Kris demands, as Minseok also descends upon Luhan.

“Why are you laughing at your boyfriend’s misfortune Luhan?” Minseok questions, also poking at Luhan’s shoulder, sharing Kris’s annoyance.

“Robbed” Luhan mumbles in between laughs, though he is making an effort now to stop.

“” Kris grumbles beneath his breath, still poking at Luhan’s side somewhat viciously.

This really was not the response he expected from his boyfriend.

“Stop that! You know I’m ticklish!” Luhan complains, leaning away from Kris with a pout, his cheeks wet with his tears of laughter, his eyes bright and shiny.

He reaches up and tugs on Kris’s ear in retaliation, before giggling again.

Minseok whacks him on the back and gives him a meaningful look, the one that usually means “stop being an ” and Luhan eventually sneers at him, Minseok unrelenting however, Luhan pulling a face but does seem to be more included to behave like a human.

“You weren’t robbed you idiot” Luhan says with a totally unnecessary eye roll.

“I’m pretty sure I was” Kris returns with a measure of incredibility.

He is aware that he has lived a life of luxury for the most part and cannot say that he has been privy to the workings of criminal activities as a victim or perpetrator at any point in time, but when you enter your apartment and find nearly all of your belonging missing without having authorized the removal of same, he thinks it’s fair to conclude that he had been robbed.

“Nah ah” Luhan shakes his head in response, that annoying grin stretched across his lips.

“I am sure he would know if he was robbed Luhan” Minseok interjects, also not seeing why Luhan is saying such things, but the again does Luhan ever make sense?

He doesn’t. Like ever.

“What would you call it when someone takes almost all of your belongings without your permission then?” Kris tries hard not to snap, but really, he can’t see at all the basis for Luhan’s disagreement.

“Repurposing” Luhan answers somewhat cheekily.

“What?” Minseok questions once more, the confusion evident.

“What’s so hard about the word “Repurposing” Minseokkie? Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?” Luhan quips, as he shifts around on Kris’s lap, who is sort of dumbfounded at the moment.

“I know what it means Luhan” Minseok grumbles instantly, his lips open to give another retort but is interrupted by Kris.

“Pretty sure the police would define it as a robbery Luhan” Kris comments with some tiredness, not seeing why the definition is of such importance to Luhan.

Shouldn’t he just be concerned about Kris and be worried about all of Kris’s possessions being taken by a thief on what is supposed to be an ultra-safe campus?

Again Kris is stunned by his boyfriend’s crazy line of thinking.

“Well I call it repurposing” Luhan insists as he slides from Kris’s lap, standing up to his full height which is isn’t that high anyway, hands on his hips.

“And that’s what I did. I repurposed your crap” Luhan says with a glare, somehow offended by the conversation.

“Huh?” comes Kris’s super intelligent response, the confusion clouding his brain.

What? What did Luhan mean by that???

Minseok is quicker on the draw however and turns to Luhan instantly.

“OH MY GOD!” Minseok yells.

“Please tell me you didn’t Luhan”

“Please tell me you didn’t!” Minseok pleads with wide eyes, tugging at Luhan’s hand.

Kris ever the dullest bulb is utterly confused.

“What??” he questions as he sits upright, trying to figure out what happened.

“We talked about this Luhan!” Minseok groans, taking to tugging harder on Luhan’s hand, whilst the man remains defiant as ever.

“You never said I couldn’t!” Luhan argues as he tugs himself out of Minseok’s grip, his hand back on his hip as he rolls his eyes again in that infuriating way that he does it.

“Pretty sure I said no illegal activities!” Minseok argues immediately, his expression wide and disbelieving.

“I didn’t do anything illegal” Luhan shrugs, though his eyes are bright with clear mischief.

“How is this not illegal Luhan?” Minseok questions once more, exasperation clear across his countenance.

Before Luhan can respond however Kris interjects.

“What happened? What are you two arguing about?” Kris inquires, using his hand to gently push Luhan out the way so that he can stand, feeling small and disconnected from the conversation whilst seated, despite his considerable size.

Both are however much too busy with their argument to respond to his questions.

“Luhan!” Minseok groans once more, slapping a hand to his face, grumbling something that sounds suspiciously like “Why me!”

“What happened??” Kris asks again, his eyes shifting between the two, who wore very different expressions, Luhan looking rather pleased with himself and Minseok looking as frustrated as possible.

“GRRRRRRRRRRRR” Minseok just groans.

Luhan laughs.

“You really aren’t the brightest are you?” Luhan says condescendingly, patting Kris on the cheek.

“But it’s okay. I like you anyway” Luhan promises before he hugs Kris around the waist, killing the protest that was about to rise out of him at the nature of the address.

“You’re my dummy” Luhan hums and Kris doesn’t know if to be flattered or insulted.

He goes with flattered because he is a weak and he craves compliments from Luhan, and is delusional enough to convince himself that it is indeed a compliment.

Though he does know objectively that it’s rather insulting.

The things men do for a pretty face and a cute little . /Shame

“Luhannnn” he whines simply because he doesn’t know what else to do.

He is then however startled by Minseok forcibly breaking the hug.

“Don’t hug him!” Minseok directs with some gusto, cheeks red and voice disapproving.

“Why?” now Kris is really confused.

Luhan is just back to giggling, clearly amused by Kris’s confusion.

“You really are dumb as a doorknob aren’t you?” Minseok laments with clear frustration, hand massaging his forehead.

If he could have murdered them he probably would have.

“Hey!” Kris complains on instinct.

Minseok is his ally! He really didn’t expect this sort of treatment from Minseok of all people.

“I SWEAR TO ING GOD YOU ARE AN IDIOT” Minseok yells, throwing his hands up in frustration.

“IT’S HIM!” Minseok continues to nearly scream.

“He is the one that robbed you, you dolt” Minseok finally gets out, looking nearly blue in the face as he gives Kris a disappointed look.

Kris stares at him blankly.

This is a lot to process.

His mind just a mess of “WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT??????????????”

Luhan however uses Kris’s brain fail to his advantage as he is prone to doing.

“Hey! I didn’t rob him” Luhan rejects in the most offended voice he could possibly muster.

Minseok just gives him a hard look.

“Well not exactly anyway” Luhan retracts vaguely, finally blushing a little under Minseok’s sharp disapproving cat eyes.

Minseok scoffs.

“Soooo” Kris finally begins.

“Luhan took my things?”

“Why?”

Kris questions kind of dumbly, looking between the two for answers.

He could think of no possible reason why Luhan would take his stuff, unless it was a prank.

Was it?

“Is this a prank?” Kris demands, his annoyance steadily building as he finally gets his bearings.

Seriously.

What the ?

How could Luhan think making him think he was robbed a good idea?

“Was it?” he repeats when Luhan just grins at him, either not picking up on his annoyance or simply ignoring it.

“Why would it be a prank?” Luhan wonders out loud, eyes drawn in fake confusion.

“If it was a prank it would be a lot cooler” Luhan retorts, eyes narrowing this time.

“I’m not some uncreative !” he insists, his expression hardening in what could be genuine offence.

“How dare you think I would conduct a prank in such a dull unthinking way??” Luhan nearly screeches, clearly taking offence when he ought to be begging for forgiveness.

“I am ashamed that you think so little of me!” Luhan continues his tirade, his face pinched in indignation and Kris is flabbergasted.

Is this happening for real?

Not just a fever dream?

Did he mistakenly eat some of Yixing’s famous brownies again?

He hit his head and somehow fell down a rabbit hole and late for a tea party with the Mad Hatter?

These options all somehow make more sense than what is happening before his eyes.

How the is Luhan the one ranting when he basically robbed Kris, took for some unknown reason items of considerable value and left him to deal with the fall out all by himself.

It’s either he pranked him or robbed him.

Neither very good options to admit to, but also neither very good to attach some claim of offence that entitles him to rant. At least that is so in Kris’s opinion.

Then again does Luhan ever do anything that make sense?

Grrrrrrrrr

“That is NOT the point Luhan!” Kris just kind of snaps, the frustration seriously getting to him

Does Luhan not understand that the issue is not about how creative he is but that he might or might not have robbed or simulated a robbery of Kris’s apartment as a prank?

Kris really just wants some ing answers!

“Then what is the point?” Luhan counters in a very good version of genuine confusion.

Unless he is genuinely confused, which would mean Kris is absolutely ed.

“I hate you both” Minseok hisses, pushing Kris to the side so he could flop down on the armchair that Kris had vacated.

“Hey!” Luhan complains.

“Don’t be like that Minseokkie” Luhan sulks, as he plants himself on Minseok’s lap, Kris too busy regretting all his life choices to properly react to any of this madness.

Minseok tries feebly to push Luhan off but he has no success or has simply resigned to live such a horrid life that he just quits.

“I still didn’t get an answer Luhan” Kris says after a breath, turning on the two, noting that Luhan has now taken to cuddling up into Minseok’s chest, the older man leaning against the back of the chair, seemingly having given up on life.

“What was the question again?” Luhan asks with a lazy smile when Kris groans in frustration after Luhan’s prolonged silence.

“Luhannnnnnn” Kris whines.

He will never admit to that fact, but that is truthfully what he did.

Before anyone thinking about judging him though, he would simply ask, what else was he supposed to do?

Yell? Curse? Argue??

Luhan is so psychotic that usual human responses never seem to work with him.

Why did Kris have to think with his and let Luhan seduce him?

WHY?????

“Why did you take my stuff?” Kris questions again, going for a serious tone, his expression stern.

If it were anyone else they might have wet themselves.

Luhan though, always the exception, simply frowns at him.

“Your face is going to stay that way” Luhan warns with a somewhat concerned expression.

“Forget about my face and tell me why you stole my stuff” Kris manages to demand, genuinely tired of the roundabout conversation.

He has a lot of tolerance for all things Luhan but even he is tired of this circle.

Luhan frowns again, a sad pitiful thing that Kris closes his eyes to, much too weak against Luhan.

He wants to deal with this finally. He can’t afford to be side-tracked by his weak heart and despicable .

“I told you I didn’t steal it” Luhan counters, his temper rising, no longer looking so disinterested, even sitting upright to make that fact known.

Kris exhales sharply, trying his best to keep his temper under control.

“Then what did you do Luhan?” Kris asks as evenly as possible, but his body is tense, trying his hardest not delve into that pit of anger.

He has always thought himself to be a man of great control and dignity.

(Maybe except that time Luhan talked him into having in the hallway outside of the campus gym at eight in the night, with like forty people inside the building and countless others likely to walk in on them. He won’t say he regrets it but he does feel endless shame at being caught with his pants down by the poor custodian, grateful that he at least wasn’t balls deep. It was of course all Luhan’s fault!)

“Appropriated?” Luhan suggests.

“Or maybe repositioned?” he adds.

“Choose which you prefer” he offers, back to his feign disinterest.

Kris is ready to blow at this point frankly.

“Luhan!” he scolds immediately.

Luhan frowns again.

“Why are you being so mean to me?” Luhan asks quietly, his lips drawn into a pitiful hurt expression.

Kris scoffs in disbelief.

“You stole my stuff! How is it that I am being mean to you??” Kris retorts angrily, throwing his hands up in disbelief.

He swallows the anger up in his throat as he prepares to continue to let Luhan know just how annoying he finds his conduct in this very minute when he is stopped dead in his tracks.

Luhan is looking at him with the biggest watery eyes ever, looking small and vulnerable and Kris’s heart nearly breaks.

“Oh baby” Kris caves instantly, reaching outwards to pull Luhan into his arms.

The older man struggles a little, clearly not mindful of Minseok looking on with the most judgemental expression ever.

“I’m sorry” Kris pleas softly as he manages to get Luhan into a hug, using all that upper body strength to get Luhan off Minseok’s lap and into his arms, hugging the smaller man to him reverently.

He can’t bear the idea of Luhan being upset. That expression on the smaller man’s face nearly killing him.

What if he made Luhan cry?

The idea alone squeezes his heart to a pulp.

“I’m sorry” Kris says again, not really sure why he is the one apologizing but so single minded in his approach to making Luhan not be upset with him that he is willing to apologize for breathing.

Clearly he is man without pride.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad. I’m sorry I upset you” Kris continues to apologize, pressing chaste kisses to Luhan’s forehead, worried that the older man hasn’t hugged him back.

“Don’t be mad please” he nearly begs, knowing that he is an idiot but in the situation, Luhan being much more important to him than his pride.

Luhan doesn’t say anything but does eventually hug him back.

Kris releases a relieved sigh.

It’s just stuff he tells himself. Even if it is just a joke, it’s just stuff. Luhan has a wretched sense of humour he reminds himself. It doesn’t matter. He can replace everything. It was only the jersey he was worried about and Luhan has that so there is no real reason to be especially concerned.

He doesn’t want to fight with Luhan. He doesn’t want to upset him or make him cry. Even if Luhan is wrong to make him go through this, he rather be the one apologizing and starving off what was turning out to be a fight.

Luhan is way more valuable to him, even with all his crazy antics than the stupid stuff anyway.

This is the right decision.

He signed up for crazy when he decided to date Luhan. This is par for the course he reminds himself once again.

He promised himself he would be good to Luhan and that is what he is going to do.

This is right.

This is best.

He exhales against Luhan’s hair, hugging the smaller man so tight that he nearly prevents him from breathing, the small fear that he would have made Luhan sad hurting his heart.

He really is far gone.

Wow.

Minseok however seems just outright disgusted.

“You really are a whipped ” Minseok laments as he gets up from the chair, using his shoulder to nudge Kris to it, who is holding on to Luhan as if he is the most precious thing in the world, looking rather ridiculous from the disgusted look that Minseok is sporting.

Kris doesn’t take the hint however and keeps cuddling Luhan to his chest.

That is until Luhan eases his way out of the hold.

Then laughs.

“My whipped is the most whipped” Luhan boast brightly, once again flopping down on the chair, his mood incredibly bright for someone who just looked so upset.

OMG

“You manipulative little brat!” Kris accuses when he FINALLY realized that he got played.

Luhan is GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Kris doesn’t even have words.

He really did sell his soul to the devil didn’t he???

Luhan guffaws in that usual unattractive way of his before reaching outwards to drag Kris unto the chair with him once again, Kris feeling like he playing musical chairs with the constant illogical movements. Kris falls onto the chair halfway on top of Luhan, who has the audacity to complain about being squished by Kris’s “mammoth body”, when he is the one that caused the situation to exist in the first place.

Kris doesn’t bother to argue.

What’s the point anyway? He just demonstrated that he is putty in the man’s hands and can be manipulated at will, and well, he really doesn’t want to argue with Luhan.

All his emotions are spent and he just feels fatigued now.

It is what it is.

He has given up.

A true capitulation.

That’s what it is.

He has no pride left and no self-respect clearly, Minseok being in a very good position to confirm this, the older man having taken a seat on the long couch now, back to his book, clearly tired of their shenanigans.

Kris does eventually get himself somewhat comfortable after some movement from Luhan, who of course crawls back into his lap as soon as the opportunity provides itself.

Kris contemplates complaining again or extracting revenge for the manipulation, but suspects it will just end in defeat so doesn’t bother.

This is what happens when you make a deal with the devil he decides.

It doesn’t matter if that devil looks like a baby angel, it’s still pure evil, and that is why this is the story state of his life.

Luhan is worth it he says to himself, because if he isn’t, then Kris really is entirely ed.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhh

He does so physically as well, earning himself a bright smile from Luhan and a pat to his cheek, which is then quickly converted into a harsh kiss, Luhan forcing his tongue into his mouth and just ravishing.

Kris isn’t into the kiss as he usually is, his mind still reeling from all that has transpired. This is a fact that Luhan seems to catch on to when he uncharacteristically slows down, his lips easing into a more measured exploration, soft little nips and tugs that aren’t usually part of Luhan’s repertoire. Kris finds that he likes the gentleness however.

Kris sighs into the easy kiss, letting the soft petting that it is quickly turning into settle his heart and cool his temper.

It doesn’t matter he thinks.

This is worth more in the end.

With his mind made up he settles himself into the chair and tries to enjoy the closeness, the plushness of Luhan’s soft delectable lips and the gentle caress of his probing tongue, the feel of his small lithe waist beneath his too large hands and the gentle tugging of his delicate fingers in the soft strands of the small hairs at the back of his head.

It’s a calming soft of feeling, Kris allowing himself to be washed away by the soothing nature of the interaction, nuzzling against Luhan’s small cheeks when the man eases away from his lips to press tender pecks of against his forehead.

Somewhere beside them Minseok groans something inaudible but they are too caught up in each other to make much of it, Kris for his part wanting to stay like this for as long as possible.

And they do manage to do exactly that.

Or well sort of.

Luhan is back to talking his ear off about some crazy thing he did during the day after a few minutes, giggling to himself about it whilst Kris listens or well feigns listening, more focused on the small patterns he is tracing into Luhan’s silken skin at his svelte waist, his shirt having naturally ridden up as he tells his story about something mean he did to Sehun during the day. Kris hums along at intervals though not paying attention, wanting to get the characteristics of his Chinese name settled, if only by way of his imagination, into Luhan’s skin.

He idly wonders if Luhan would consider a tattoo but puts the thought out of his mind, remembering vaguely Luhan mumbling whilst against the ink embedded into Kris’s arm that he liked tattoos but was afraid of needles.

This is good enough Kris thinks.

He can do it every day and even if it isn’t permanent he likes tracing his own name gently into Luhan’s skin, along with all the things he is too shy and awkward to say to him.

His nail catches too deeply on the word “forever” and Luhan giggles.

“That tickles” he breathes out in a cute hummed sound and Kris can only smile at him.

“Did it?” Kris questions with a lift of his impressive eyebrows, his lips tugging into a smile.

Then he immediately begins his assault, tickling Luhan aggressively in what he deems to be his revenge. He can’t yell at him or show much anger, but he can certainly torture his crazy boyfriend this way for the trauma he made him endure.

Luhan thrashes in his arms, trying to smack him to get him stop but he doesn’t.

Sweet Revenge!

It’s Minseok that finally gets Kris to stop

“He will legit urinate on you if you don’t stop” Minseok warns with a disgusted crinkle of his nose and well, Kris definitely stops then.

Watersports of that type really were definitely not his thing.

Luhan is generally uncontrollable when he laughs, so it is not a stretch to imagine that he might have difficulties in controlling all his muscles just then, which could probably result in Kris being familiar with parts of Luhan that really doesn’t want to be familiar with.

Yeah.

He should stop.

Like now.

Which he does.

Though he does wonder if Minseok is speaking from experience but the very thought is frightful so he puts it out his mind immediately.

“” Luhan grumbles when he does catch his breath, whacking Kris on the arm, who simply absorbs the attack, the action itself inconsequential against his sort of body mass.

He grins at Luhan boyishly instead, quite taken with his flushed look, hair dishevelled and cheeks rosy and bright.

“It’s what you deserve” Kris points out with a forced look of chastisement directed at Luhan, but his heart feels warm, his large hands reaching out to fix the silky strands of Luhan’s hair back into place.

“Whatever” Luhan says with a roll of his eyes.

Kris continues his soothing for a little bit, rubbing a large hand down the indentation of Luhan’s spine, over his thigh and back up until a thumb wipes away the stray tear drops that came from laughing too hard.

He gets a peck to the nose for his troubles.

He really can’t be mad at this adorable man he realizes. Luhan is too much of everything but somehow he is just right for him. Even with all the complaints and fake lamentations he would have him no other way he acknowledges silently.

What an experience this has been. Truly.

There is something that he is still curious about now that he thinks about it.

What exactly did Luhan do with his stuff? Did he throw it away? Sell it?

“What did you do with my stuff by the way?” Kris asks as casually as possible, not wanting this to trigger another vague sort of fight, just to sate his curiosity.

“What stuff?” Luhan questions as if confused.

Kris resists the urge to groan.

Luhan is so ing annoying. Seriously.

“All my belongings that you may or may not have stolen” Kris responds as calmly as he could manage, though he knows the mild annoyance that he couldn’t completely stifle had slipped through.

“Oh”

“That stuff” Luhan acknowledges with ease, clearly unbothered about the situation, as he usually is to be quite frank.

Kris the one left to chastise himself for actually expecting Luhan to feel any sort of remorse or shame or any other normal human response.

“It’s in your room silly” Luhan continues with a boyish laugh, eyes bright and cheerful.

Kris however is already regretting that he even bothered to ask. He is too emotionally drained to play these games with Luhan.

His life choices.

Sighhhhhhhhhh

“Why are you being like this?” Kris questions with resignation.

“You basically emptied by apartment. It’s not in my room” Kris grinds out, again trying to keep his temper in check.

He really shouldn’t have asked. He should have just counted it all as lost and moved on. That way he could have saved a little bit of his sanity and not have another reason to contemplate the murder of his boyfriend. He didn’t have much in the way of strict relationship type experience but he is sure that one really should not take joy in thinking about strangling their frustrating significant other.

He is definitely going to need therapy and soon.

“Why would I be talking about your apartment?” Luhan questions in some version of confusion, even his eyebrows furrowing oddly.

“Where else would you be talking about?” Kris returns immediately not even bothering to try to hide frustration this time.

“Your room” Luhan answers as if it’s obvious.

Kris groans.

Luhan shakes his head in what is probably frustration

“Your room here obviously” Luhan repeats with certainty, his patented eye roll once again making an appearance, as if he found providing this type of information to be much too tedious of a task to complete.

He even pursed his lips in what Kris hopes is faux annoyance but knowing Luhan, he probably really does think this to be an imposition.

Seriously, he is so grating!

“I don’t have a room here Luhan” Kris counters with a clinched jaw, not really getting what Luhan is playing at.

As far as he is aware he did not have a room assigned at Luhan’s house at any point in time, so why would he have a room here now?

Wait.

Could he mean?

“What do you mean by room here Luhan?” Kris questions with some urgency, his brain finally putting some of the pieces together.

Luhan just grins.

“I knew you weren’t as dumb as you look” Luhan comments with a pleased but mocking clap of his hands and Kris is too busy trying to get it all together to punch him for the insult.

“You moved my things here?” Kris asks, not wanting to get caught in a false assumption.

Even if it makes sense to him, Luhan’s mind rarely ever worked the same way.

Case in point.

“Well not all of your stuff. Only the stuff I like and deem acceptable to have a place anywhere near me” Luhan confirms with a nod in the affirmative.

“Why? Kris breathes out, hoping that he is reading this right finally.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Luhan counters, eyes narrowing.

“No its not”

“Oh well” Luhan shrugs and turns away, looking to get off his lap and escape this conversation.

“Not so fast” Kris snorts as he drags Luhan back into place.

Is that a blush he sees on Luhan’s cheeks?

“Why did you move my stuff here?” Kris questions again, this time with a smirk playing at his lips and his heart light, quite liking his new position of power.

Luhan looks way with a grumble.

“Come on. Tell me why” Kris cajoles but the smugness is plain on his face and his voice.

This is marvellous!

“No reason” Luhan grinds out, stubborn as always.

To complete the effect he folds his arms over his chest and glares at Kris, seemingly unaware that he only manages to look like a petulant child.

Kris laughs happily, pulling his stubborn boyfriend properly into his arms to shower him with kisses.

Luhan is ridiculous. He really is.

“Tell me” Kris hums against Luhan’s forehead, the older man stubbornly trying to avoid the teasing.

He doesn’t of course.

All he does is punch Kris in the sternum and laughs till he chokes when Kris coughs violently.

Minseok just shakes his head at the two of them.

Crazy people everywhere.

Kris does eventually manage to catch his breath, the smile on his lips wide and silly and he is just so happy, even when he knows his boyfriend his laughing at him nearly dying.

Luhan is so many things and he finds that somehow he loves all of it. Even the parts that drive him crazy.

He manages to get Luhan into a kiss, one that starts rather roughly with Luhan being indignant and stubborn but it does transform naturally into a slow sort of expression of love and fondness, with Kris gently nipping at Luhan’s nose, smile still blooming on his face.

“You could have just asked me you know” Kris says against his lips after a moment of closeness.

Luhan bites on his bottom lip out of spite.

Kris just chuckles.

“I would have said yes” Kris continues undeterred, feeling quite cheerful.

“I don’t care” Luhan rejects with as much disinterest as possible but Kris isn’t fooled.

Was he worried that Kris would not want to move in with him? Was he shy to ask? Or just being bratty?

Kris doesn’t know which it is only that he is ecstatic that Luhan wanted him to live in the same house with him, that Luhan in his own odd way wanted them to live together all the time in some way, shape or form.

How can he not be happy with that development?

He admits that he sometimes has doubts when it comes to Luhan’s commitment to their odd relationship. Not to the extent that he agonizes over it but he knows that this is new territory for Luhan and himself, neither ever having been inclined to settle. This is the longest relationship for both of them and for someone as flighty as Luhan he knows this is a big deal.

Of course he went about it in the most annoying way ever, but thinking about it now in hindsight, he can’t help but appreciate the sentiment that Luhan was trying to express in his own weird way.

“You want to live with me” Kris hums happily, really just very pleased with the turn of events.

“Shut up” Luhan hisses, clearly embarrassed.

“Don’t make me change my mind” he threatens with no heat, Kris planting a kiss to his forehead, finding him incredibly adorable.

Kris finds all his anger has disappeared and in its place only unbelievable warmth and happiness.

Except.

“Hey!” Kris exclaims just then.

“Why did you leave behind all my other stuff?” Kris questions with confusion.

He understands now that Luhan just wanted to move his stuff over to his house so that he could start living with Luhan (just the thought of it making him jubilant) but why did Luhan leave so much of his things behind?

“Because it was all ugly and refuse to have them in my home!” Luhan returns without missing a beat, a challenging glint in his eyes.

And in that moment Kris remembers why he always wants to strangle Luhan.

“I cannot believe you!” Kris exclaims with a hint of lament.

“I love those things”

“And I don’t care”

“You are so ridiculous oh my god”

“It’s not my fault you have taste”

“That is pretty obvious. I date you don’t I?”

“Oh hell no you didn’t!”

“!”

“Can you two just shut up?” Minseok finally interjects, bored of the argument they are having.

When they don’t take note of his objection, he throws the pillow beside him, hitting Luhan on the back, which gives him momentary glee, until Luhan all but forgets Kris and their pointless argument to throw himself at Minseok, a warrior cry being released from his lips before Minseok finds himself buried under Luhan’s weight, the younger man suffocating him as he poked at Minseok’s sides.

Kris just looks on as they continue to play fight, kind of glad Minseok distracted Luhan because he is sure Luhan would have thrown a tantrum after his last sarcastic remark.

He doesn’t regret it though. Luhan always so freaking judgemental.

There is nothing wrong with his taste in clothes!

NOTHING!!

He just has to find ways to sneak it all into the house when Luhan is not home, provided there is space in which ever room Luhan assigned to him, which now that he thinks of it, could be an issue.

Luhan has many to choose from and if Kris is not mistaken, some are indeed better than others. It would very well depend on what Luhan wants from him, but he isn’t that perturbed.

He can be quite persuasive himself or so he likes to think anyway.

And well he is pretty sure that he will end up spending most of whatever time he spends in this house in Luhan’s offensively large bedroom anyway as that is usually the case now.

He isn’t sure if he is cut out to live with Luhan all things considered but he is willing to try and that is the best you can do in a relationship he tells himself.

In some ways he is sort of looking forward to being part of all the craziness.

Like watching Minseok strangle Luhan, who seems to be enjoying it actually.

Wait.

Is that a new kink of Luhan’s he is discovering?

And if it is, should he be afraid?

These are the thoughts that are disturbed when one Kim Jongin ambles his way into the room, clearly another one that has been lucky enough to receive the code for the house, which truthfully doesn’t surprise Kris, aware that Luhan dotes on the child especially, even more so than he does Sehun.

Jongin’s sleepy eyes are drawn and his lips downturn into a pout and hair a mess, shrugging out his coat as he just quietly plops down on the tangled mess that is Luhan and Minseok.

“Hey” Jongin drawls sleepily.

As a testament to how adored the child is, neither Luhan nor Minseok seem to mind the extra weight on them, both instead responding enthusiastically, shifting about so that Jongin would sit comfortably.

Jongin settling contentedly between them, with Minseok ruffling his thick hair for him, Luhan trying to right himself in the spot next to him, Kris simply looking on, which he suspects he will be doing a lot in the days to come.

“I think I was robbed” Jongin says casually, not seeming too bothered by the thought of it.

Minseok however is a different story.

“Luhan!!” he bellows before he lunges for the small man who is already laughing himself sick, Jongin hastily getting out the way.

Kris and Jongin, standing above the chaos give each other understanding looks before they both simply turn back once more to the chaos in front of them.

Kris supposes it’s really just a new beginning.