Dara was about to go home. They had practices and recordings for their upcoming world tour and album, and as usual she was the last to go home because of extra hours of practice. She decided to pass by the comfort room first. Before entering, she saw a familiar silhouette of a man running towards one of the practice rooms. She thought she ought to bid goodbye to whoever that was, but decided to go to the comfort room first. As soon as she got out, she followed the way to where the man was running earlier. She looked around at all the other rooms when she realized she was left with one last practice room: the one where the Big Bang sunbaenim’s usually practiced. Already having an idea of who he saw earlier, she decided to go inside and check up on him.

When she opened the door, she found him at the far end of the practice room sitting on the floor in front of the mirror wall, his head bowed down to his knees. Judging by his appearance, she thinks she already knows what he did. She slowly approached him, making sure she created soft noises with her shoes so as to warn him of her presence.

When she reached him, she sat beside him and just looked at him, waiting for him to acknowledge her presence.

After minutes of not saying anything, he finally talked, head still bowed down to his knees so as not to expose his face to Dara. “Just leave me be, Dara. You were right. You’re better off without me.”

“So you remember now?”

“No. I don’t remember, and that’s the worst. What kind of selfish, arrogant as5hole am I to do something like that? Please Dara, just leave me. You were right all along. You don’t deserve someone as bad as me.”

“You’re not bad,” she said, her eyes already starting to well up. “You just made a mistake. People make mistakes.” She was about to touch him but restrained herself. She cannot predict how he would react.

“It was too big of a mistake. It’s unforgivable.” He then looked up, looking at himself in the mirror. “I’m unforgivable.”

Upon seeing his face, Dara was surprised how he had various cuts and bruises on his face, as if he got into a fight.

“Omo, Ji, what happened to your face?!” She immediately held his face. Jiyong cringed with the sting her touch caused but it was also a little bit comforting. However, he couldn’t let Dara touch his face. Even he was disgusted to touch his own face.

“Just leave it. I deserved it anyway.” He said, swatting her hands away.

“Why are you saying that? Look, you were young. You were a little careless. You were only taking care of your own interests. You’re entitled to make mistakes.”

“What are you doing? Why are you even trying to defend what I did? Weren’t you the one who was so keen on pushing me away? Weren’t you disgusted with my past that’s why you broke up with me? Come on, you don’t have to pretend like you still care and—“

“I still care! You think I haven’t tried to stop this? I always cared. Even when I broke up with you, it was because I cared for you. You think I really wanted to do that? To just leave you alone? Jiyong, this is a battle with yourself, I cannot let myself meddle with this. I left you because you had to take care of this."

Jiyong looked at her, confused at what she was saying. Dara continued.

“When Ji Na approached me, I thought she was just one of your exes, but when she told me who she was and what you did, I was devastated. I never expected something like that. I was in denial; I didn’t want to believe it. When she showed pictures, that’s when it all just set in. I was furious, I was angry at you for doing something like that. I was angry at Ji Na for telling me. I told her to leave me alone and never show in front of me again, and she said in return she wanted me to break up with you and leave you forever. At first I was so determined to do it! I wanted to slap you and punch you and just never see you again.”

Jiyong was silent. Dara also was for a while, but then she continued with what she was saying.

"At the end of that day, I realized I can't really leave you alone. Yes, I was still hurt but not for me. I was hurt for you, especially since you couldn't be hurt for yourself. I couldn't bear to think what you would feel if you found out what you did, and I knew I couldn't keep it to myself if we were to stay together. I figured you still haven't forgiven yourself since you still couldn't remember it. I also couldn't forget Ji Na's face when she approached me. Although she was very angry, all I see in her eyes then was a lot of pain, and I figured you owe her as much as a proper apology. Right at that moment, I knew what I had to do. I had to let you go, let you discover your own mistakes.

"Didn't you feel like there was something missing? Like there was this inner storm raging to come out inside of you? Because I felt it, all this time I was feeling it. Every time I see you, I am in pain for you. I couldn't bear to think what pain you'd feel upon knowing this, but I know you need to remember this because you owe so much to many people. Most of all, you owe so much to yourself."

Dara holds Jiyong's face again and he let her this time, tears flowing freely from his eyes, face scrunched in pain. He cannot believe how wonderful this girl in front of her is.

Dara waited until Jiyong looked at her then said, "You need to forgive yourself, Jiyong. That's the only way you can go on."

With that, Jiyong cried out loud and hugged Dara as tight as he could. Dara hugged him back. She knew he needs this right now, someone who understands him, someone who will tell him it's alright, someone who will accept him, mistakes and all.

"It's alright. It's fine." Dara said while Jiyong's back.  They stayed like that for a long time until his cries eventually turned into sobs. She silently cried with him all the while.

When Jiyong finally stopped crying, Dara went on inspecting his face. His face was real messy with tears and dried blood, and he had cuts on his lips and nose. She told him to stay there and rushed out to the nearest convenience store to buy first aid stuff for his wounds. She quickly headed back to where he was and started tending to his messed-up face.

"What are we going to do if these cuts scar? You have one last show for the Japan Arena Tour as well." Dara said, carefully blowing on each cut she has applied medicine to. All the while, Jiyong just looked at her, amazed at how beautiful her heart was.

"Does it still hurt?" She asked, still gently holding his face and looking straight into his eyes to look for signs of discomfort. He didn't answer. Instead, he just looked back at her and held her hands holding his face. He looked at her so tenderly, she had to look away but he quickly took hold of her chin and made her face him again.

"Why are you doing this? You should be disgusted--"

Dara shook her head, cutting him from what he was supposed to say. "Don't say that. You're not disgusting."

"But, I killed her."

"You didn't kill her. It was her who chose to take her life."

"Yes, because of me."

"No, because of her. Because she didn't know how to deal with it."

"But I should've been there for her."

"You were like her, you also didn't know how to deal with it."

"But--"

"No more buts. It wasn't your fault. How many times do I have to repeat it so you have to believe what I'm saying?"

"And the baby?"

Dara couldn't answer for a moment.

"I was supposed to be a father. And all of that happened when I was supposedly pursuing you. Don't you feel disgusted about that?"

Dara smiled softly and caressed his bruised face.

"You would've been a good father. He or she would've been the luckiest baby."

Jiyong closed his eyes. "Why are you like this? You should be angry at me, you should be running away from me. You should want to stay away from me."

"But I can't. Can't you see that's what I've been trying to do? But how can I, when I know you'll need someone to understand, someone to support you. I can't just leave you alone, and I can't be angry at you especially when you are angry at yourself."

Another tear fell from Jiyong's eyes.

"Let me understand you. Let me support you, please."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Jiyong pulled her in for another tight hug as he cried himself so hard for the nth time that day.

"Hush. You don't have to say sorry to me. It's okay." Dara comforted him. "I think there's someone else you need to be saying sorry to."

He broke their hug to look at her, knowing well enough who she was referring to.

"Will you come with me?" he asked, scrunching his forehead.

Dara softly smiled at this man in front of him who she knew she'd always care for. "Of course."

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The winter wind was slowly blowing on the snow-covered cemetery grounds. It obviously wasn't the time of the year for visitors. Still, a white range rover made its way through the snow-covered road. As it stopped, two figures emerged from the car, one holding a big basket of flowers.

They slowly made their way through the grounds and finally stopped upon arriving at their destination. The man who was holding the big basket of flowers placed it down in front of one of the tombstones and brushed away the snow on top of it. She squatted down, reading the words written on the tombstone. The woman stayed behind him, as if to give him some privacy.

"Hello Ha Na." Jiyong said, directing his speech to the occupant of the grave in front of him.

He carresed her name on the tombstone. "I'm sorry it took so long. I still can't remember it, but I already put a brave face to find out about it."

Dara looked at him from a distance, knowing this really is taking him a lot to do.

"How are you there? I hope you're much better. I'm... I'm so sorry for everything I've done. I'm sorry for not taking care of you enough, and I'm sorry for running away. If I could turn back time... I would do things differently. But I know I can't, and I'm really sorry for that."

He stayed still for a while, remembering her angelic face, the face that only looked at him with admiration. He closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them again sadly.

"I went to see aunt and uncle, you know. But they just shut me out again. I guess they still can't forgive me for what I've done. I bet you wouldn't too. Still, I hope you do. I don't know what else I can do to make up for what I did but... I really am sorry. For not loving you the same way you loved me and for taking advantage of you. For not taking care of you enough. Forgive me, Ha Na. Forgive me..."

Jiyong bowed his head down, knowing he didn't deserve forgiveness from her but wishing she would anyway, despite him not ever knowing if she really will. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulders, and just with that, he knew if she were here, she would forgive him.

Jiyong looked up to the owner of the hand holding him, to the face of the girl who he loved so much. She smiled warmly at him, eyes glittering with unshed tears. He smiled back and knew that no matter what happens, this girl will be with him.

"Goodbye, Ha Na." And with that, he stood up, caressing Ha Na's tombstone for the last time. He then took hold of Dara's hand and held it tightly as they made their way back to the car.

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a/n: The next two weeks is going to be hell for me, so I figured I ought to update before everything turns crazy. Actually, I think I;m just escaping because honestly I still have a lot to do. -_____-

Anyway, I just finished reading Undercover Love (again, I'm escaping from the things I still have to do T_T) and oh my gosh, I cannot even begin to explain how I'm feeling towards that story. It's just one of the best stories I have ever read and if you haven't read it yet, I do encourage you to check it out. Its a story by icelolly1 and here's the link of the story. Enjoy!

And I want to say sorry in advance if it might take me a little while before updating again. But I hope you do not give up on me! Not when things are already starting to get better again. ;)

Newbie writer,

cescanicolelala♥