I It's Complicated!
The Happy Ending"Will you please just let me go?" Dara finally said with all her strength. She has been trying to convince him to agree with her for the past hour. She really can't go on with this anymore. Whatever this thing they have going on has to stop already. "I can't do this anymore, Jiyong."
She waited for the other person on the phone to say his answer. Even their "break up" or whatever the hell it should be called can't be done personally. Can it even be really considered a relationship?
"That's it?" The person on the other end of the phone finally said after a moment of silence. "You're just going to give US up after all we've been through?"
"It is BECAUSE of everything we've been through. Jiyong, aren't you tired of this? Everybody's so decided on breaking us apart, why even fight for it?"
"Why not?" He said, a trace of panic clearly evident in his voice. "Dara, if you let everything everybody say get into your head, it's always gonna make you want to give up."
"I just don't think this is going anywhere anymore. Don't you? They've already given us a million reasons why we can never be together. Why even stay together?"
"I know why. Because I love you. I love you Dara, and I know you love me too. Isn't that enough reason?"
"You love me but you can't even call me your girlfriend?" She didn't care how hurt Jiyong would get with this remark. At this moment, she was willing to say anything to make him agree with her even though her heart was screaming for her to hold on to him. She knew exactly what she was doing because the girlfriend thing has always been a sensitive topic to them. Even though they really love each other, they can never really call each other boyfriend and girlfriend because of who they were.
When he didn't answer, she sighed and said, tears starting to form in her eyes, "let's face it Jiyong, all the love in the world can't fix this thing that we have. As long as we're trapped in this world of fame and facade, we can never be together."
They fell silent with the painful truthfulness of her words, both at a loss. The silence was so deafening that it pierced straight through their hearts, but in a way it was also right what they needed. In that long silence, they both said everything they needed to say: how much they loved each other; how they can never love any other as much as they loved each other; how much they wished being in love together was enough; how they wished their promise of forever can never be broken... In that last stretch of silence, they held on for dear life because they knew what kind of life they'd have to live in the moment the call ends.
After what seemed like forever, Jiyong tried one last time, not hiding how his voice betrayed that tears were streaming down his face, "there's nothing left I can say to change your mind, is there?"
Silence.
"Tell me Dara. Tell me, and I'll do it no matter what it takes."
"I'm sorry Jiyong. Goodbye." And with that, she ended the call.
She stayed rooted in her place long after the call ended. She was frozen: she didn't know what to do next and it was as if she forgot how to move. It took a while before she noticed that her shirt was getting drenched by the tears silently falling from her eyes. She didn't know when she started crying but that didn't really matter right now. All she knew was that she was numb all over. Finally finding the will to move, she wiped her tears away, walked away from the window and dropped in her bed. She wrapped herself in the blanket and buried her whole body in the mound of pillows on the bed. She rolled around a couple of times, trying to find the most comfortable position for her to sleep. As she e last time, her eyes landed on a framed photo beside the lamp in her bedside table.
At the sight of the couple in the photo, she lost all sense of control and finally let everything out. She started wailing, kicking, throwing everything in her bed. When there was nothing left to throw, she started hitting her chest hard, anything to take the pain away. Oblivious to the hushed whispers right outside her door, she cried and cried until no tears and voice came out anymore. She didn't know how but after a while, darkness started to envelope her and she let it. She fell into deep sleep, her face all pale and clammy from too much crying.
Upon hearing the stillness inside the room, the other members, Bom, CL and Minzy went in to fix the thrashed room and tend to the unconscious girl on the bed.
In a similar dorm a few kilometers away, another room has been thrashed beyond recognition, and there amidst the mess sat a man who was crying his heart out. The other members, Taeyang, TOP, Daesung and Seungri couldn't do anything but listen to the agonized cries coming from the room of their beloved leader.
Comments