CHAPTER 31

Kris?

“It's your fault, Hana... the baby died because you”

Gasp.

She in air until her lungs hurt, she felt like she hadn't breathed any oxygen for ages; her eyes shot wide open as she sat up in bed and looked around her surroundings. Kris appeared by the doorway.

“Are you okay?” he asks, rushing towards her.

Her chest heaved up and down; they were back in Seoul upon his insistence and she didn't even argue. Cold sweat trickled down the side of her head as she took a minute to regain her breathing and nodded at Kris's question “I'm fine... just... a nightmare”

The clock said it was already after noon; the orange glow that the curtains that painted the white curtains covering the windows meant that the sun was already setting.

Kris reaches for the glass of water on the bed side table and hands it to her; Hana mumbles a quiet 'thank you' before drinking up the liquid and set the then empty glass to where it previously was. For a moment she forgot but as quick as she had done so, it was equally quick as to how the memories of yesterday came flooding into her thoughts. Kris and her had not spoken a word about the incident, hence the constant questions he asked if she was alright; the sudden flight back to Seoul was quiet.

Kris was cautious; for the most part, he was actually a little afraid to open up the subject to Hana for fear that she would break down all of a sudden again.

Once was enough. He thought.

“Kris...” he turned his head to look at her; she gave him a small smile and he couldn't help but smile back. He knew she was just assuring him that she was okay... even when he knew that she wasn't. Suddenly, he feels a spark of admiration for her upon realizing that she was still smiling.

He reached out a hand, cupping one side of her face, gently her cheek with his thumb and asks her “Are you tired?”

“I'm good... shall we go make dinner?” she asks, pushing away the thick covers that covered her lower body. She sounded okay... atleast. He nodded his head “Sure”

Kai.

“Good morning” Kyungsoo mumbles the greeting as he joins us for breakfast. I sip on my coffee; Chanyeol snorts a sarcastic laugh and questions “What's so good about the morning?”

Last night was rather... eventful, if I were to comment. The party ended successfully despite some bumps on the road but nevertheless; Kris was pleased about it but... even the thought is depressing. Truthfully, ever since we all woke up this morning, the atmosphere was gloomy in contrast to such a beautiful day.

“Where's Kris and Hana? Are they back from the hospital? Aren't they gonna have breakfast?” Luhan asks.

I turned my head to my left and catch Lay and Sehun exchange glances for a moment; the latter cleared his throat and picked up a piece of french toast before speaking “They flew back to Seoul”

“What?” rings out Xiumin's voice.

Why am I not surprised? Sigh. Suho shook his head –he seemed rather disappointed with the news. Tao leaned back on his chair, clicking his tongue as he pushed up his sunglasses “That's ing dandy” he comments before turning to Suho “Hana had your schedules, how are you gonna get through?”

“Ling has them” Luhan announces; Suho doesn't even look up, he just focus on eating his breakfast –it's as if he hasn't heard anything- as Luhan then adds “She was in line for Suho's PA position so this will be good training for her”

That's one way to put it.

“Kai!”

“Huh?” everyone was looking at me. Damn, how long was I spacing out? “What's with you? Are you worried about Hana?” Baekhyun questions me, his eyes squinting a bit in suspicion. I dismiss the thought and bluntly speak up “Ofcourse I'm worried about her, who wouldn't be?”

“I would say me but then now is not the time to joke around” Chen chuckles.

I drink up my glass of orange juice and wipe off my mouth before getting up from my seat; I need to chill the out before my emotions get the best of me and I do something stupid... like flying back to Seoul. “Where are you going?” Xiumin asks then taking a huge bite of his french toast.

“I need to run”

“You're gonna run back to Seoul? Wow, you walk on water now, Kai?” Chen laughs. Jesus Christ, can this guy not do jokes? Just for one ing day! “Yeah...” I roll my eyes at him “Sure, Chen, whatever you say...”

Chanyeol wipes off his mouth and pushes his chair back “I'll go with you, I could use some weight lifting”

The gym was quiet.

Actually, almost the whole resort was and I could only assume that it was because the party had ended late and probably most of the guests are still in dreamland but it's not like I care. I have to get her out of my head.

I swore that it took every fiber of my being to keep me from rushing to the hospital last night, hell it was hard enough restraining myself not to jump in on the previous situation and yell every profanity I know at Kris's aunt. That would have been an issue... the treadmill starts up and I begin to run.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, was working on some dumbbells just behind me.

“Hey Jongin...” he calls out to me “Yeah?”

“You think Kris will be okay?”

“I don't know...” my breathing starts to hitch as I raise the speed “I hope so... but... I don't think... it's something... he can't.... handle...” I breath inbetween phrases.

He has Hana, afterall. “I guess you're right. But...” I hear him puff out a breath “What about Hana?”

And then I remember that she was also in the center of the tragedy. I know she's a huge ball of sunshine and rainbows, heck she could get run over a car, live and won't hold grudge over the culprit but... losing someone –such as a baby that she didn't even know she was carrying- it made me wonder.

She lost her family before but... I don't think this is something comparable. Their –supposed to be- first son. Damn. The thought of the last word made my heart drop a little.

Breathe in. Breath out. “Hana's a strong girl... and besides... Kris will help her... they'll help... each other”

“I guess you're right” he steps on the treadmill right beside the one I was occupying; he fiddled with some buttons for a moment and began with slow walks “By the way, who was that girl you were with last night?”

“Which one?”

“The Chinese-looking one... the one with the nice s but lacked ”

I slowed down the machine, letting out a little breathless chuckle as I remember the one he was pertaining to, I only talked to one Chinese girl last night, afterall. What was her name again? Pen? Fen? Maipen? Ah!

“Meifen? She's Kris's PA in China”

He whistles “Tsk! Damn, the guy sure knows how to hire ladies... if I were him, I don't think and hot female who comes into my office would walk out properly” I roll my eyes at his erted thoughts. Really, and they call me a casanova?

“Excuse me... s-sir?”

I slow down the machine some more while Chanyeol's halted. We both turned our heads. Speak of the devil... it's her. Realizing who it was, Dumbo McDumb pulled on some moves; he leaned against one of the rails of the treadmill and with his freehand, he smoothed his hair back.

“Well, hello there”

I rolled my eyes at his actions; the machine finally came to a stop. I turned around to face her “What brings you here, Ms. Peng?” she certainly looked... office-ready? Who the hell wears a pencil skirt and a blouse here? I mean, partly, we're literally on vacation. I don't question it though.

“I'm here for Mr. Park Chanyeol”

What? Even Chanyeol was surprised. He stood up straight and pointed to himself “Me?” she nods her head and turns to him with a smile “Mr. Wu is requesting for video feeds from China to South Korea as soon as you get back in Seoul, he also said that he'd like a meeting this afternoon; I've already arranged for the venue but he asks that you're to be responsible for the video feed later on... please be ready by four o'clock” he looked a little confused at the end of her sentence. I'm pretty sure he got a little lost and must have rumbled up some Chinese words in his head.

“What did she say?” he asks, dumbfounded. Chanyeol knew Chinese, he just wasn't as good at it as some of us; I turned to Meifen “Is that all, Ms. Peng?”

She gives a nod before bowing “I'll... I'll be going now” she says, sounding a little unsure. I felt a nudge from my side and I turn to Chanyeol. He points to the girl walking away with his lips and wiggles his brows; my eyes trail down from the back of her head to her .

She definitely does not lack . “So, what did that girl say? I lost track after video feeds from China and Seoul” he turns back around to the controls of the treadmill and start it up once more; I did the same “There's a meeting this afternoon, Kris needs you to find a way for a video feed... looks like you're gonna have to call some people”

Sigh. He goes.

“Can't it wait until we get back in Seoul tomorrow? Geez...” he begins to pick up speed until such time we're both running. “You know the drill, Yeol...” I catch my breath for a bit “What Kris says, goes... just do it”

He let out a groan “Fine”

It's morning in Seoul.

Hana.

It's still painful.

I wish I could go back to sleep but the nightmares keep coming, like a broken record it keeps on playing over and over. It's difficult. For the first time in a long time, I ask myself: How are you gonna get through this, Hana?

I keep my eyes closed, my teeth lightly digging onto the flesh of my lower lip.

Something soft hits my nose. Almost like a peck; I crack my eyes open and see something white then blue, a little pink and black. “Wake up, mommy” came a familiar voice. My lips quivered all of a sudden and I bite down on it once more as tears gathered in my eyes.

He took away the stuffed animal revealing his face. His eyes suddenly getting washed with worry “Hey, hey... don't cry” he reached out his hand and wipes the underside of my eyes. I pushed myself up and sat, wiping away the excess before my eyes trailed to the side and saw the stuffed alpaca.

Kris got off the floor and sat down next to me; he picks up Ace and places him on my lap “You know, he would hate to see mommy crying” I don't know who exactly he was pertaining to, Ace or... I don't know.

“Doesn't mama look better when she smiles, Ace?” he pats the alpaca's head.

My eyes remained on Ace.

“It's my fault” I mumble.

I felt his eyes on me but I kept myself frozen. It's heart breaking to admit. How could I have been so stupid? I should have been more careful... I should have known.

“It's not your fault, Hana” he says, taking Ace away. I kept my eyes on my hands.

“I should have been more careful”

“You didn't know”

“I should have”

“But you didn't... look, it already happened, we can't change it anymore...”

Suddenly I felt angry, I felt frustration build up inside me, it almost felt like at a point wherein if I don't let it out, I might explode and go on a year long rage. My hands balled into fists and tears fell. I've never been so frustrated and angry in my life.

At myself.

“I'm not gonna leave you if that's what you're thinking” he says.

I finally look at him, what I previously felt just then vanished into thin air; he wore a blank look on his face but nevertheless, his aura felt warm and assuring.

Honest.

“Not now. Not ever.”

“W-why?”

“Because...” the corner of his lips tug upward in a half smile “You didn't leave me... even when you should have”

I should be the one lifting him, not the other way around. I promised his dad. I should be the one telling him that it's gonna be okay. I should be the one making him smile...

He suddenly leaned in and kissed her making all of her thoughts fly off.

“Aish... you look really ugly when you cry, you know” he says after pulling away and wipes off the stains of tears on her face with the back of his hand. Hana pouts, sniffling in a cute manner that makes him chuckle “Meanie ~”

He rolls his eyes at her before turning to the alpaca “How should we make mama smile, Ace?” he hums in thought for a moment and Hana just quietly sits there, watching in amusement. All of a sudden, he tackles the female, his hands suddenly working on the side of her stomach, tickling her as much as he could.

For what seemed like ages, she laughed.

“Stop!” she yells at him followed by more laughter but he does as he is told and ends up on top of her. Hana takes deep breaths for a moment and Kris props himself up with his arms, leaning down to give her a quick kiss on the neck; she raises a hand and slaps his forehead

“Ow!” he pulls himself back; he was now kneeling, his legs on either sides of her waist “What was that for?!”

“Not today, Mr. Wu” she wriggles a finger at him then props up her elbows. He gives her a frown and asks “Do you not want to have a go at --”

Sigh. That alone was enough to shut him up;

“Okay, okay, I understand... but you didn't have to slap me on the forehead” he rubs the reddening area. His girlfriend emits a small laugh, pushing herself to sit up and hug his waist.

“Thank you” she says.

We'll be okay. He hugs her aswell, patting her head. We'll be okay, Hana.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

IDK why I put that GIF of Tao, it's jsut funny HAHAHAHAHAHHA

Damn, that was tricky to write and I know you would all want but I can't simply break the moment. Kekekeke, maybe next time KEKEKEKEKE

So, have I healed your broken hearts? I hope so.