{ Fear & Tears }

11:00 p.m. In the Park

Jiyeon and Myungsoo both were sitting beside each other as Jiyeon had her eyes staring away from Myungsoo, however Myungsoo kept his head down, staring shamefully onto the ground while making secret glances at Jiyeon occasionally. Ever since that kiss and confession, Jiyeon had never utter anything infront of Myungsoo. Myungsoo, on the other hand, was too embarrassed and shy to speak up to Jiyeon. 

"Um... it's late. I'd better get going back home." Jiyeon suddenly broke the silence.

Myungsoo nodded his head as when Jiyeon stood up, Myungsoo suddenly spoke, "Jiyeon-sshi, how are you going home?" 

Jiyeon froze on the spot as she replied back softly, "I guess through a taxi probably." 

"Taxis are dangerous. Um... How... how about my manager hyung drive you back through our van, that's more better and more private than hailing a taxi at this time. Especially when you're a girl and you're alone." Myungsoo said.

Jiyeon scratched the back of her head, and repleid back, "Actually, it's just a 15-minute walk from here back to my apartment. I don't... think that's necessary."

Myungsoo glared at her as Jiyeon slowly gave in and went into Infinite's van where the manager hyung was trembling in fear as he started the engine. His eyes occasionally rolled to the back, glaring Jiyeon secretively while Jiyeon sat beside Myungsoo on the van. Jiyeon could feel her cheeks heating up, her ears were burning in shyness while her heart was beating abnormally fast.

Myungsoo had his fingers curled all up together, as he lowered his head onto the ground, while eyeing at Jiyeon secretively. After a few minutes of ride, they reached Jiyeon's apartment. Jiyeon thanked both Myungsoo and the Manager, but as her fingers landed onto the handle, Myungsoo suddenly grabbed her wrist.

"Jiyeon-sshi." Myungsoo said weakily. "Can I at least know something?" Myungsoo asked curiously.

Jiyeon furrowed her eyebrows and stare at Myungsoo, intrigued by his sudden question as she nodded her head in understanding. Just then, Myungsoo leaned towards her and pressed his lips on her again.

Jiyeon widened her eyes in shock as she stood there, frozen, while her hands slowly wrapped around his neck. The next minute they spent kissing each other before Myungsoo pulled away from her. Smiling and blushing at her, he then nodded his head as if they knew the answer to his question. Jiyeon touched her lips before running out of the van, embarrassed by him.

Jiyeon hurriedly went back into the apartment, into her room as she locked the doors shut and slowly glanced outside the window, down the streets to see Infinite's black van still parked outside her apartment. Bitting her lips as she touched the lips that Myungsoo kissed, her cheeks was heating up and burning red as she sat herself down on the bed, hugging her pillow.

Wiggling her toes, her heart was fluttering, remembering the kiss they shared in the van and in the park. It was so romantic, and her heart was beating fast for him. She then looked at her phone, while scrolling down the contacts and stopped at Myungsoo's number. She bit her lips. To call or not to call? To accept or to not accept? Jiyeon bit her lips as she hurriedly dialled Hyomin.

"Hyomin-ah..." Jiyeon said weakily.

"Wae Jiyeonnie? What's up with this call in the midnight, that's so unlike you." Hyomin said.

"I'm so troubled. So so troubled in my life. Worst thing that had ever happened to me. My mind is in a dilemma. Shocked shocked shocked!" Jiyeon muttered.

"What's wrong with you? Care to tell me? What's so troubling you?" Hyomin asked worriedly.

"Myungsoo-sshi..." Jiyeon said.

"L? What did he do or say?" Hyomin asked curiously.

"He asked me whether I want to date him... and be his girlfriend." Jiyeon muttered.

"Oh my god. Really?" Hyomin said, gasping in shock.

"Yeah... He.. he... he.. even.. k.k..k..kissed me... twice." Jiyeon mumbled.

"WHAT THE HECK?! Oh god, and you accepted it." Hyomin said, chuckling.

"Y..Yeah I don't know why either.. I told him that I need to decide, I am really not sure." Jiyeon said worriedly.

Hyomin sighed and replied back, "You ask yourself. Do you love him or not? But I think I'm sure you love him, you thought about him in your dreams and in your free-time, you went out with him twice, he made you happy, shows that he really loves you, and it's so clearly obvious you have some special feelings for him too. You rarely go out with male idols, even if its Joon or Seungho, you would only text and chat with them, and talked on phones. The only ones you went out with is mostly your female friends, IU, Luna and Suzy-sshi." 

"Since you love him. Now you decide, be or not to be his girlfriend? I don't know, but what I feel you should not accept first. See how after time passes, are those feelings still there, and is he really the one guy." Hyomin suggested.

"After all, we're idols. We are also facing a scandal so having a relationship with someone from a top male group is really pretty risky and you might gain hate from his fangirls especially at this time." Hyomin added on.

Jiyeon sighed. "I guess I know the answer already." Jiyeon said as she thanked Hyomin and hung up the call.

Meanwhile, in Infinite's van, the manager yelled at Myungsoo immediately after Jiyeon's departure. "What the heck Myungsoo, you went to make-out with her for the next minute?!" The manager yelled at Myungsoo.

"I know she loves me too." Myungsoo said, giggling sheepishly.

The manager raised his brows and stare at Myungsoo in disbelief. "Are you freaking serious? Kim Myungsoo?" The manager snapped at him, while shaking his head in disappointment. "She haven't even agreed to be your girlfriend!" The manager added on.

Myungsoo sighed. "She haven't, but I'm gonna make sure she's mine." Myungsoo said. "That kiss meant so much to me, hyung. If she didn't love me, she'll pull the kiss away, but she returned the kiss, means she have those special feelings for me too. I'm so irresistable anyway. I knew this is the answer." Myungsoo boasted.

The manager gasped in shock. "yah, you're so arrogant right now just because this happened." The manager commented as Myungsoo continued smiling sheepishly at himself.

The manager soon drived him back to the dorm, where Myungsoo went back into the dorm to be greeted by an overwhelming cheer by his Infinite members. They all crowded around him as he took a seat at the couch, while scratching his head. They all pestered Myungsoo about his proposal result repeatedly as Myungsoo continued grinning sheepishly at himself.

They all raised their brows, Sunggyu and Woohyun made curious expressions at him, while Sungjong and Sungyeol was on his knees, curiously staring at him with their anticipating expressions.

Myungsoo sighed. "She needed time to think about it. But, I'm gonna make sure she's my girlfriend no matter what." Myungsoo said as all of the Infinite members sighed and jeered at him in reply.

"She loves me." Myungsoo mumbled to himself.

Hoya gave him a disgusted glare as he smacked his chest, "Yah, are you mad?" He questioned him.

"Ani, she responded my kiss anyway~" Myungsoo replied back, bragging and boasting. All of the Infinite members started gasping while Sungyeol smacked his arms painfully.

"Yah, you're really brave guy, aren't you?!" Sungyeol commented.

"She returned the kiss, that's all it matters." Myungsoo said, shutting his eyes and smiling blissfully.

"Wah, this guy is crazy. Crazy about love.." Woohyun commented, shaking his head in disgust as all of them all went to their rooms and slept peacefully.

1:00 p.m. In SBS Gayo Daejun Backstage

Stars and K-Pop idols have gathered themselves in the backstage, in their respective dressing rooms. The backstage is huge for this event, given that more than 100 stars would be performing in this huge event. This event is usually hosted near New Year, in celebration of the success of the music industry in the entire year.

T-ara and Infinite were all in their dressing rooms. Jiyeon had not given Myungsoo any reply ever since his confession since last week. It has been a whole 1 week and Jiyeon kept silent about it. In T-ara, only Hyomin was the only one that was aware of the entire confession. Jiyeon sat herself on the styling chair, while the stylist was attending to her make-up. 

Jiyeon took a glance at Myungsoo's number again. She had been thinking and thinking about him and his confession. She also thought of memories spent together with him. She sighed as she shut her phone. Hyomin, who was sitting beside her, nudged her shoulders and smirked at her secretly while Jiyeon raised her brows.

"Thinking about him, I suppose?" Hyomin guessed.

"Ah..." Jiyeon replied back, while having her eye-liner done. 

"Go talk to him. He's performing too, right? I'm pretty sure he's waiting for your reply over that last week." Hyomin said. "He's probably dying for your reply." Hyomin added on.

"You really think so?" Jiyeon mumbled back.

"Yeah, anyway our rehearsal starts in 1 hour, plenty of time to do whatever you want to do with him." Hyomin said, raising her brows and staring at Jiyeon in a secretive manner.

Jiyeon sighed and nodded her head. Her make-up was done, as she was dressed in her stage outfits, a shiny, sparkling dress with beautiful white, pearly collar on her neck. Jiyeon bit her lips, her legs was trembling. She took a glance at the door and thought about it again, while the other members of T-ara was growing much curiousity over her strange actions today.

"Yah dino, gwenchana?" Soyeon, the leader, worriedly asked while wrapping her arm around her neck.

"Ah, I'm fine." Jiyeon said, forcing a smile.

"Stop with that lie, it's clearly obvious you're troubled. Something troubling you, dino?" Soyeon asked again.

Jiyeon bit her lips as she played with her fingers while Hyomin answered on her behalf, "Ah, L-sshi confessed his attraction towards her last week." 

The members all gasped in shock. Ahreum dropped her book onto the ground while the rest of them were caught back by the answer. Especially Boram and Eunjung, confusion was plastered all over their faces as their eyes were widened in shock.

"Yah, go answer him already. It's been 1 week?!" Hyomin nagged at her while Jiyeon sulked.

Soyeon shook her head. "He's probably looking for your answer right now." Soyeon guessed.

Jiyeon looked up as all of the T-ara members were encouraging her to tell him the answer immediately. Jiyeon sighed as she glanced at the door again, and then back at the T-ara members as she slowly nodded her head in defeat.

Outside T-ara's dressing room, Myungsoo was pacing about the door, dressed in his stage outfit and make-up. His skin was flawlessly done, he was applied with minor eye-liner, his eyes was sparkling like diamonds. His lips was surely soft and attractive, and his nose was to die for. He was shaking nervously in fear, and he was hesitating whether to knock onto their door or not.

He wanted to confide with her, as he was also forced by his Infinite members, who were all impatient and unsatisfied with his behaviour and performance in handling this relationship. Just when his hand was about to reach up and knock onto the door, the door opened, revealing Jiyeon in her beautiful sparkling stage outfit. She looked up and widened her eyes upon seeing the fall, masculine figure in front of her.

Myungsoo was no exception as he widened his eyes in shock while the other T-ara members was giggling amongst themselves, whispering and gossiping with each other, while smiling and grinning sheepishly at him.

Jiyeon forced a smile at him, while Myungsoo replied back with a smile as he bowed at T-ara back in farewell before both of them went into an isolated corner of the backstage, in one of the empty, vacant dressing rooms. 

Both of them remained silent, it was rather of an awkward silence. Both of them looked at each other curiously, while trembling in fear. Myungsoo was the one who broke the silence as he started stuttering, "u..uh.. H..How are you anyway?" 

"I...I'm fine." Jiyeon replied back, lowering her head, staring onto the ground.

Gripping his fingers tightly, he then walked beside Jiyeon, and asked, "Have.. yo..you thought about it? The whole... co.confession." Myungsoo was looking down embarrassingly.

Jiyeon looked at him and took a huge breath. "I...I don't think we can.. I'm afraid. I'm an idol, you're an idol. I had so many scandals that was just absurb, but anyway, I don't want me to affect your career. You're in a rising idol group, you can't risk to date someone and lose fans just like that." Jiyeon explained.

Myungsoo turned around. His heart was crashing into pieces as he started to say, "I don't care. I just want you and only you. I can't live on, knowing you rejected me. Do you love me or not?" Myungsoo asked, a tear escaped from his eyes.

"I'm afraid and fear being your girlfriend. Not meaning you're bad or horrible boyfriend, but I'm afraid I'll affect you, and affect myself too. I don't want this relationship to inflict me or even yourself. It's too tiresome and painful to be in such relationship." Jiyeon explained.

"My fans will understand. I don't care." Myungsoo said, as Jiyeon sighed and lowered her head.

"Then... what about the kiss." Myungsoo stated as Jiyeon looked up, shocked as she widened her eyes.

"You responded to it, is it you are just toying with me? I thought you responded to it because you have feelings for me and you love me." Myungsoo said, he was frowning as his eyes was serious.

Jiyeon bit her lips. "Believe me or not, I'm not toying with you.. I just can't afford to date you, I'll be in trouble by your fangirls and I... I... am afraid of making you hated by your own fans." Jiyeon stated.

"You're toying with me.. It's so obvious." Myungsoo said, wiping his tears off. "I should go back with my Infinite members.. I... I see you soon." Myungsoo said, and left before Jiyeon could explain herself any further.

She bit her lips. "Did I really upset him?" She mumbled to herself, while sulking her way back into the dressing room.

They all performed their rehearsals then, as Jiyeon made no sound to their T-ara members while Myungsoo remained silent with his Infinite members. Both T-ara and Infinite was in the backstage, behind the main stage while other groups was on the stage, having and practicing their stage and performance while T-ara was having their mics removed, while Infinite was having their mics placed on them. Myungsoo and Jiyeon did not exchange  any glance, however Soyeon and Sunggyu was eyeing at each other in worry.

Secretly, and swiftly, Soyeon tapped onto Sunggyu's shoulders, "Sunggyu-sshi, did something happen? Looks like your L-sshi, and my Jiyeonnie is upset." Soyeon whispered to him.

"I don't know either, Myungsoo was so cold towards us after he came back to the dressing room. He's really so quiet and scary like that. I couldn't figure out what had happened. Did something happen?" Sunggyu asked back.

"I also don't know. Jiyeon remained silent throughout. It was so unlike her. Her bubbly personality just... magically disappeared. Maybe something happened when they confide to each other?" Soyeon stated.

"I guess so too, I'll go talk to my Infinite members." Sunggyu stated as Soyeon nodded her head as she went back to her T-ara members.

Tapping onto Ahreum's shoulders, "Ahreum-ah, go talk to Jiyeonnie, she's so troubled. You both are of same age, it'd be better like this." Soyeon instructed to Ahreum, whom nodded her head in understanding.

"Jiyeon-ah~" Ahreum said melodiously while bringing Jiyeon out. 

"What's the matter?" Ahreum asked Jiyeon, as both of them were situated in an empty corner of the backstage. It was quiet and empty there, just perfect to have a heart-to-heart talk.

"I said to Myungsoo I wasn't ready and afraid of being in a relationship with him. He misunderstood me and said I'm toying his feelings. Which is not true..." Jiyeon explained.

Ahreum gasped. "But.. do you love him?" Ahreum asked.

Jiyeon then slowly nodded her head. 

"See, you love him, why not give it a try? Maybe it'd turn out good, you would never know. Also, I'm pretty sure manager oppa will agree with this.. About the fans, who cares? Their fans, and will always be his fans, they won't even stand a chance towards you. I'm pretty sure fans are sensible creatures." Ahreum explained. 

Patting onto her shoulders, she then added on, "Even if they aren't sensible, I am sure Infinite manager and Manager oppa will work together to make you all date secretly. When time is ripe, you all can publicize this relationship." Ahreum said.

"I'm really afraid." Jiyeon said. "I had so many scandals before anyway, it's not good for me and him." Jiyeon continued on. "Ahreum-ah, it's not that I don't want to be his girl, it's just that I'm not ready. I.. I need time." Jiyeon said.

"Jiyeon-ah.." Ahreum said softly.

"I will see if time allows us to be together someday." Jiyeon said, sighing.

Here's the update! :)

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