You stayed in your dim lit room, lying in bed all day, soaking your pillow with your own salty tears leaving your eyes bloodshot red with sadness and fear.  It’s done – you have finally admitted defeat.  With each breath you exhale, a sigh of loneliness and pain fills the air. 

You hear your phone ringing, but your body was just too tired to care to answer it.  You just want to be alone at the moment, something you might not have the privilege to experience anymore after the marriage.

“Nooooooona.” Wooyoung calls out sweetly opening the door to your room making you jump in fright.

“Oh my God!” you exclaimed as you bolt sat up in your bed.  “What are you doing here?” you asked as you wiped your tears desperately.

“Mom and I came.” he said as he closed the door behind him.  “Mom said you weren’t answering calls all day, so we decided to come over.  We’re really worried about you.” Wooyoung said as he sits beside you on your bed.

“I’m fine.” you said as tears kept coming like water breaking out from a dam.  “You shouldn’t have bothered.”

“Sis, you look terrible.  Have you been drinking?” he asked as he tried sloppily to take the hair off your face.

“No!  Are you here to make me feel worse about myself?” you asked as you lay down again pulling the covers on top of your head.

“Noona, I know I don’t say it much, but...I do care for you.  And believe it or not, I want you to be happy.” he said softly.  “I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything for you.  I even promised dad before he passed away that I’ll be the one to protect you as the man of the house.”

“It’s not your fault.” you said as you slowly take the blanket off your face to look at him.  “You’ve protected me enough.  And it’s not like there is anything you can do.  I’m two years older than you and I can’t do a thing about it.  Besides, no one is pushing me this time…I willingly am taking the leap on my own.”

“Why would you do that?” he asked surprised.

“What else was I supposed to do?  Grandpa was dying in front of my eyes.  I had to do what I can to at least persuade him to come back.” you said.

“You should’ve just run away.” Wooyoung said.

“And then regret it for the rest of my life?” you said looking at him beside you.

“Won’t you regret this decision too?” he said.

“Uhm.  I might just end up regretting everything I said and did.” you said with a deep sigh.  “But, we do what we must.”

“Noona…” he said looking sorry.

“Don’t worry Woo, I won’t let them do the same thing to you.  Whatever happens I’ll protect my baby brother.” you said ruffling the hair on top of his head.

“Do you hate mom?” he asked.

“Can I ever hate mom?” you answered.

“Well, maybe Taecyeon hyung isn’t all that bad a choice for a husband.” Wooyoung said trying to comfort you.

“I didn’t say he was.  He seems exceptionally attractive for a guy.  I just don’t want to.” you said.

“If at the last minute you feel like you wanted to run away, give me a signal.  Like this.” Wooyoung said sounding off like a little chick.  ”Then I’ll come to get you and hide you far away.”

“What kind of signal is that?” you said chuckling.  “Besides, if you do that, you’ll end up getting disowned along with me.  Anyway, Chansung’s planning the same thing.”

“Chansung hyung?” Wooyoung asked looking at you with a little disgusted look.  “Somehow, I don’t trust him either.”

“Don’t be like that.” you sternly scolded him.

“Just saying.” he said.  “It just always seems like he has an ulterior motive.  Like he likes you or something.” he said making you think of him kissing you on the hospital’s staircase.

“Enough about Chansung.” you said shaking the thought of your head as you hug your gorilla stuff toy tight.

“I can’t believe you still have that.” he said with a chuckle.  “It’s so ugly!”

“Hey don’t say that!” you said angrily as you cover the doll’s ear.  “Mr. Gordo can hear you.” making Wooyoung laugh.

“Wooyoung, can I talk to you sister for a while.” your mother said peeping inside the room after a knock.

“Well…noona doesn’t hate you so I guess it’s fine.” he said with a grin.

“Go out for a while.” your mother said to Wooyoung as she slaps him on the on his way out.

“What is it mom?” you asked trying your best not to cry.

“Are you mad at me?” she asked as she sat on the bed facing you.

“Mad?  No.  Hurt?  Yes.” you answered hugging your gorilla stuff toy.

“When you were a kid and we’d get into an argument, you’d always lock yourself in your room to cry and when you’re done crying you would come out and just stay silent.  You’d do everything quietly like I wasn’t around.  You would make sure to do your own thing and avoid even looking at me.” your mom said as she pats your leg.

“Mom…” you said.

“Uhm?” she answered looking at you.

“Why would you give me away like that?  It’s not like I’m an inconvenience to you.  I have my own place, my own business.  And it’s not like I’m particularly a bad daughter.” you said as a tear escapes your eye.

“Because I want what’s best for you.” she said.  “Taecyeon will be able to take care of you.”

“I don’t need taking care of.  I can do that myself.” you said.

“Everyone needs someone in their life.” she said.

“You could’ve just given me the option to choose for myself.” you said.  “Chansung!  I can pick Chansung!  If it’s just to fulfill the old men’s wishes, I could’ve picked Chansung.  And Chansung agreed to it too.”

“Sweetheart.” your mother said touching your face gently.  “Taecyeon is a better match for you.  You just haven’t realized it.  But he cares for you.  Chansung is a nice boy, but there are things you have yet to know about him.”

“Like what?” you asked curiously.

“Things of the past.  He did unnecessary things that made you misunderstand things, but we believe it’s just due to youth and childhood.” she said.  “But it’s not important right now.  Just know, that what I do, I do out of love.”

“I don’t think I will ever understand, but there’s completely nothing I could do anymore.” you said softly.  “It’s funny how you’re love equals my unhappiness.” you said with a forced smile that made the pain in your face more noticeable.