The sky was dark and the wind blew across your swollen face.  You basically had nowhere to go and found it sad that this is the only place you could run to now.  Slowly you approached the front steps to sit on it despite it being chilled in the pre-dawn moments.  The cold air pierces your cheeks, but right now, you couldn’t feel any of it, somehow your brain is telling you that it isn’t cold.  Nothing could compete with the coldness you had experienced from your mother a few moments ago.  You gave a choked sob as you begin to recall how your own mother practically chased you out of the house like a pest when you expected loving arms to welcome you back, telling you everything will be alright and not to fret for she is there for you no matter what.

Confusion…Regret…Anger…Resentment...Hurt.  Too much at once.  Too much to happen all at once to one person.  The memories of everything that happened all within the day were draining the life out of you.  Your face was still, numb of all emotion and it seems you couldn’t cry anymore.  You just couldn’t. You couldn’t even understand how things turned the way they did.  How Chansung lied, how Taecyeon would hurt you and how your mother just doesn’t care.  But deep inside there was that aching feeling pounding at your heart.  You hated the realization that no one truly cared and that you were merely taking up unnecessary space in everyone’s lives.  You wanted to scream at the top of your lungs and just let go, but you had no energy left in you to even quip a single curse.

Your shoulders sank as you sighed deeply, keeping your head low as you felt your body give away from being so exhausted, when your attention was suddenly caught by a fast car screeching to a full stop in front of you.

“Thank God you’re here.” Taecyeon said as he alights the car and approaches you with hurried steps.  “Are you alright?” he asked with worry written all over his face.

“Uhm.” you gave a nod without looking at him.  Right now, fatigue is taking over your body that you had none left in you to argue or do anything, so you just simply stood up to avoid him.

“Why are you sitting out there in the cold?” Taecyeon said as he puts his jacket over your shoulders and then leads you inside the house.  He sits across you on the couch as you silently mull over the day’s events.  “Have you been on those steps all this time?”

“Don’t worry.  I wasn’t with Chansung or some random guy putting shame to your name as my husband.  I just don’t have anywhere else to go.” you said exasperated as you lean your head back on the couch.

“That’s not what I meant.” he immediately said as he leans forward resting his arms on his thighs.  “It’s just that I was all over looking for you.  And your mom…she got worried that I couldn’t find you.”

“My mom?  Worried?” you quipped with a sarcastic laugh that you let out despite being too spent to move.

“Uhm, I got severely scolded by your mom.  And this, this I got from your brother.” he said pointing to a bruise on his cheek.

“My mother wasn’t really worried about me.” you said standing up to get a cold pack from the fridge.  “She’s worried about what your parents and grandfather would say when they find out you’re already missing a wife after a few days of getting married and to top that off my brother hit you while you were looking for me.” you said as you dragged your weary feet back to where Taecyeon was sitting, handing him the cold pack.  “So indulge my mother and don’t tell the elders about this…please.  I apologize for my brother’s brashness as well.”

“Thanks.” he said as he puts the ice pack on his bruise.  “I understand why Woo did what he did and I think I deserve that too.  But I don’t think that’s it.  She, your mom, looked genuinely worried about how you ran out of the house.”

“I didn’t ran out of the house.” you said choking on tears that are threatening to fall as you begin to force yourself to smile, flopping back down on the couch.  “I was chased out of the house.  I didn’t even get an are you alright, what happened to you, did you have anything to eat.  I got a you should go back, make it work, think of what people will say.”

“I’m sorry.” Taecyeon said putting the ice pack down on the table with pity in his eyes.  “I feel like this was my fault from the beginning.”

“It wasn’t, so don’t be.” you quietly said.  “And put that back on that bruise.” you said pointing to the pack.  “Because of all these, I realized something today.  All my life, I was living all stuck up, thinking I’m in control of my life, like it’s my own, like I can do whatever I want.  When in reality, it doesn’t really belong to me.  After all, I’m just a girl, just the daughter and now just a wife.”

“It’s not like that.” Taecyeon said.

“Do me a favor, don’t pretend to be all nice and care.  It’s not worth it.” you said with a sullen look.

“But I do care.” Taecyeon said.  “I was wrong…what I did to you was wrong, I admit that, but it doesn’t mean that’s the extent of my feelings for you.”

“What are we really doing here Taec?” you said holding on to your aching head.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Other than hurting each other, what more do we expect to accomplish in this setup?” you asked looking directly at him.

“Honestly?  I want you to love me.” he said with a straight face.

“We didn’t….marry for love.” you said shaking your head lightly at him.

“Maybe you didn’t.” he said as his brows creased in the middle of his forehead.  “But I did.”

“You hate this as much as I do.” you said with a smirk.  “So don’t pretend like –“

“I don’t hate this.  Believe or not I don’t.” he said as he walked over to sit beside you.  “What happened to us?  When we were younger, you used to stop crying when you see me.  Now you start to cry when I’m around.”

“When we were kids you’re like this…this amazing superhero that I have for my own.” you said looking glum, but forcing yourself to keep the smile on your face as you hold back the tears.  “I think it hurt more because I trusted you so much.  Deep inside I believed there is no way you could hurt me.”

“I’m no hero.  Do you think it was easy for me to see you with someone else?” Taecyeon said.

“I’m sorry for lying to you about Chansung, but you still have no right to do what you did.” you retorted.

“I was the way I was because I was mad, I was angry at what I saw on that beach, but it doesn’t mean I stopped loving you.” he said.

“So what do you want to do now?” you asked.

“You know what I want.” he said.  “I know deep down there somewhere you know.”

“Fine.  I’ll play along with you.  I’ll be the good wife everyone wants me to be.”

“You - what?” he asked confused.

“Be the wife you want, being the girl I never really have a choice now, do I?  You see apparently I can only be my mother’s daughter if I become a good wife to you.” you said with a pained smile.  “You know what, I don’t feel so good. *sneeze* Excuse me.  Do you mind if I go rest up now?”

“Are you feeling sick?” Taecyeon stood up to follow you.

“No, I think I just…I don’t know…*sneeze*  Excuse me.  Maybe I just cried too much.” you said as you went to open the room door.

“I’m sorry.” Taecyeon said as he holds on to your hand on the door.  “But I can’t let you go.”

“My head is beginning to be all fuzzy and I feel like my eyes are getting heavy.” you said.  “Let’s talk in the morning Taec.”

“I’ll take the couch.” Taecyeon said.

“You don’t have to.” you said.  “It’s not like we never shared a bed.”

“You won’t feel comfortable with me around.  I at least know that.” he said.

“Do whatever you want.” you said as you entered the room and he stays behind.  “It might be better if you were next to me.” you thought to yourself as you left the door slightly open.