*

‘What if’ was a dangerous question, or so Luhan thought as he stood in front of vanity table, eyes piercing on the and –loose- form of his body. He sighed heavily, looking down at the scarred skin beneath his belly button, where there’s the sign of stretch marks as if he was clawed by a bear. His fingertips trailed them while the devious what if started to pulsate in his mind. Of what if he still lived under family roof, then his baby will be spoiled by nannies while he can focus returning his shape and turning his skin as flawless as he born with. Or worse, if he can reverse time, he could turn down Kai offer to marry and choose to date the man instead, giving him time to learn about this, about everything to expect in their future.

Luhan pouted.

He didn’t want to be ungrateful. He didn’t regret his life and he didn’t want to start to. He was happy to be loved and learned falling in love. He was happy to know there’s joy in life when people stopped being greedy for things they couldn’t own. But insecurity kept haunted him, in the whisper of the wind, telling him whining Luhan ain’t cute anymore for Kai when he’s fat and pudgy and marred.

“Hey.”

Luhan was too drowned in thought he forgot he’s not entirely alone in the house. To find his husband stood by the bedroom door and caught him only in his boxer, Luhan face turned red in embarrassment. It had been awhile since his husband saw him near to and he wasn’t ready to show Kai what he thought as nightmare, “don’t look at me.” thinking of his body as ugly sight, Luhan pleaded softly, “please, I’ll… I’ll be ready soon so…” but to his horror, Kai approached him in firm step and fierce gaze.

Luhan froze on his feet, gulping down his anxiety.

“What’s wrong?” Kai stood close, dark brown orbs looking into his.

“Nothing…I’m…” Luhan held his breath, muttering sorry for the automatic answer but Kai said nothing and only stared at him more, forced Luhan to exhale abruptly and resigned with, “I’m not pretty anymore…” His eyes dropped to the floor, ignoring the fat on his stomach and focused on staring at his toes, because that was the truth. He wondered what Kai would enjoy from between his legs now because truthfully, Luhan loathed himself.

“Finally!” Kai exclaimed as the man suddenly kneeled while staring right at his belly.

Luhan stunned for a second before the younger yelped in surprise at Kai who locked lips around his –hidden- belly button, “Appa!” He snapped, red cheeks heated now with desire pumping through his body, “what are you do-aaah…” Luhan struggled to let go but of course Kai persistently held him while and teasing his belly button, “Oh my god!” Luhan covered his own mouth, “stop it! I’m going to pee…!”

And he cried and cried and cried, as in answer, Kai ripped down his boxer and devoured him whole, drinking in all his agony.

“You are so mean…” Luhan sobbed as he sprawled on bed, face covered with dried tears and a palm. There was Kai straddling him, as and sweaty as he was but eyes filled with dangerous lust and mouth agape in silent wants. He trembled at the way Kai caressed his knees and shuddered even harder when the big and calloused fingers ran through his thighs, purposely missing his groin and clawed on his marked stomach. Luhan moaned, because God, his stomach never felt this sensitive before but just by the tease he was dripping again with heat.

“You are mine.”

The words came out low and calm but it struck him hard and deep, drawing more tears to bubble on his already swollen eyes. But he tried to look and watched as Kai bent down and bit his belly, “don’t ever think I’ll stop loving you.” Luhan cried as the man put more teeth mark on his skin between praising and nips, “because love is blind, Luhan.” the man then moved up and caught his lips, “and real love held no exception.”

Luhan was so close to sob again, but to see determination in Kai eyes gathered his scattering courage and slowly he gained confidence again. He took a deep breath and slung his arms around Kai neck, while his legs locked around his husband waist and for a moment he choked at how fit them to each other. But he swallowed any mellow feeling and be brave for once, even with a snotty nose and pouty lips, “okay…” he breathed out, “okay, I can’t promise this insecurity will stop but I’ll try, Kai. I always try to be mature, for you, for Ruka, for us…”

For once Kai expression softened, “I know, sweety.” The man whispered fondly. “And for the record, you did great so far. You already the most beautiful wife and the best mother in this world.”

It was too cliché for sweet nothings but it did lighten his mood and made Luhan smiled shyly even just by a bit, “don’t flatter me…” he whispered back, raw and hoarse from crying. “You only want ...”

“Well, of course I want from you.” Kai snorted in return. “Why would I want from someone else when I have my young and delicious wife beneath me.”

“y oldman.” Luhan hugged Kai neck, squealed happily as they pressed their body close and breathed in each other scent, “but I love you…” he stared at the ceiling, let the glassy curtain covered his eyes at the familiar pain of penetration, “I lov-…”

Ruka wailed from the crib.

.

“Damn.”

“Appa, languange.”

*

the shortest update, isn't it? I'll take all the blame wkwk

How was it?