*

 

“Hey, where are you going, we’re not done yet!”

 

“Release meeee!” Luhan giggled as he struggled to get free from Kai strong arms around him, “Appaaa…!” He gave his husband a warning look, “I really need to pee…”

“Seriously?” Kai grabbed his hips and looking back at him with amused look, “You need to pee just when I-…” Luhan censored Kai’s nasty words with smooch, “…you deep with-…”Another kiss attacked the older brunette, making Kai laughed inside Luhan mouth.

 

“Please,” Luhan gave Kai his deadly aegyo.

 

“Fine.” Kai released him unwillingly, and sat leisurely on their couch with hands and legs sprawled out, didn’t care if there’s not a thing covered his tall and bulky body as the man scowled, “I’ll count to five,” Kai slapped Luhan’s bare playfully when the boy turned from him, and his eyes focused on them, watching how Luhan bend to catch a t-shirt from the floor.

 

“Onetwothree--”

 

“That was too fast!” Luhan shouted in protest, immediately dropped the shirt and rushed to the bathroom.

 

“One!”

Luhan shook his head, a wide grin insisted to stay in his face when he heard the counting sound from the living room. He inhaled a deep breath, remembering again about today, about things he knew about his husband and the time they spent familiarized with each other friends. It’s also his first time hearing the story about how he was loved even before he realized, and it really made him shock.

 

 ‘So I’m your first love?’

 

He dared to ask Kai the time their eyes, lips and heart connected.

 

'It is something I proud of.'

 

The answer given to him from the man he loved, from his husband, made this heart once again crushed and purified by fire, before it smelted into something better, added with bravery, toughness and more love than he ever imagined.

It also made him cursed under his breath.

 

This is no good. He wanted to cry again. Every time he’s with Kai, he’s always cracked into tears. Not only because his stupid mood swings, but it’s also because his secret, which he insisted to keep from his husband. There’s a reason why his mother wanted to find him and aside thinking positively about it, which was impossible, he only feel scared with a horrible future, because since he met Kai his life turned so perfect it almost like a dream.

 

“Luhan?”

 

Luhan startled when he heard Kai voice in front of the bathroom door, “Is everything fine?” the man asked in worry, which made Luhan blushed in shame. Well, they were in the middle of so why the hell he had to have a sudden mental break down. He should forget about this matter now and focused on naughty words Kai would say about this love making, about how beautiful he was and how lucky his husband was to have him as wife.

No, it only made him feel more anxious, because he kept secret from his husband and it made him as the worst wife ever.

 “Appa.” He even didn’t dare to open the bathroom door as he whispered. “We need to talk.”

 

No answer from Kai, at least until a few second later,

 

“Open the door, Luhan.”

 

His body shivered in reaction to the calm tone. Kai never ever get angry at him, and it only made his stomach clenched uncontrollably and his mind experienced a panic attack. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to ruin the mood but there’s really something I need to tell you,” said him, while opening the bathroom door for his husband.

 

“Now?”

 

Luhan nodded weakly.

 

“Can it wait until we’re done?”

 

Luhan was hesitated. He looked at Kai with fear still clouding in his gaze but the man stared back intensely, with more hunger rather than annoyance. Slowly, his heart beat raced again as he was being stared in his ness. His hand unconsciously covered his exposed crotch but, in the middle he stopped and clung to his husband neck instead, let the man pushed him to the shower glass and cornered him and making sure he couldn’t escape if he wanted.

Luhan closed his eyes and breathe from his mouth, before he was captured by the bigger arms, tied with the stronger limbs and bonded into a deep kiss.

 

*

 

Luhan blinked drowsily at the tear of dawn outside the window. Slumped on his chest facing the crumpled sheet, he smiled at the content-ness filling his heart. Believing if this is the benefit of not having honeymoon, cause everyday now felt like honeymoon. He laughed breathlessly at his own boldness, but he had a feeling everyone will admit it was true.

Kai shifted and murmured his name in the man’s dream, making his face blushed at the closeness and the ness they share under one blanket and he wondered since when he rely so much to have Kai arm as his pillow and to feel Kai finger rested on his stomach, where their baby beating gently and Luhan knew even their little one loved the father already, because it’s always resonating in Kai presence, attracted to Kai’s laugh and became panicked when Kai wasn’t around.

He smiled even wider, as his hand mapped the rougher feature of Kai’s back hand, and when the man unconsciously entwined their fingers, Luhan already this close to crying again.

No, he can’t cry or he’ll be a coward. He knew his emotional state will affected his baby, because they shared one body and one mind. He probably a crybaby but sure he wanted his son or daughter to be braver and tougher person. So he took a deep breath and let it pass his mouth slowly, did it a few time until his heart calmed and his mind cleared from the bitterness.

 

“Is it morning already?”

 

Luhan giggled at the kiss brushing his back neck. “Almost.” He whispered while turning his body so he could face his husband’s sleepy face. He always loved to see Kai in the morning, because his husband will look so cute and young, as if Kai was in the same age, no, younger than him. Although it also annoyed him, but because he loved Kai so much he decided to ignore the fact that he look older than his age.

Luhan placed a chaste kiss all around his husband face, wishing a beautiful day for both of them, “It’s Sunday, usually we’re not even up until noon so just go to sleep again...”

Kai kissed him back, when their lips met, “Don’t you have something important to tell me?” The man asked, and Luhan suddenly felt a stinging bolt hit him straight in the heart. He breathed again, now with a heavy sigh, before he slipped down until his head could rest in Kai’s chest as he hugged his husband with his hands and legs.

“Yes, but you say it can wait.” He muttered while pressing his cheek into Kai skin so he could hear his husband steady heartbeat.

 

“Is it something bad?”

 

Luhan let out a mocking snort.

 

“Hey, Umma?” He felt Kai got up and sat facing him. The dark eyes staring at him in demand, so Luhan sat too while holding the small bump under his belly. Nothing wrong with the baby, of course, it’s only a gesture of protection which happened automatically, as their doctor said.

“Why don’t we clean up first?” Luhan asked, and when Kai gave him another worry look, he immediately continued with, “relax, Appa. I’m not from Mafia family or something like that so let’s talk about it while having breakfast and tea, ok?”

Kai caressed his face gently, still cannot diminish the worry look in the man’s eyes, but then Kai helped him stand and hold his hand when they’re going to the bathroom.

.

“I don’t know where to start this…” Luhan placed his tea mug on their coffee table, as they cuddled up in the middle of their long couch and watching morning news, even though the sound got muted.

“How about,” Kai pecked Luhan’s cheek, “the letter you read in the rain. Why it make you cry?” he asked carefully.

“Oh.” Luhan couldn’t cover the frown in his face, as the memory rushed back into his mind, “that’s…” he cleared his throat yet he still whispered hoarsely, “that’s the letter from my fiancée.”

 

*

 

 My dearest Luhan,

 

This is probably my first and last love letter to you.

 

As you know, we’ve known each other for years -in my case, I watched you grow up from tiny little angel into the most beautiful being in the world- and we loved each other presence, not in the romantic way because you always say ‘romance is filthy’ and I can’t be more agree with that. Romance was just our mask to hide the truth that we were born to breed successor to our families, to keep our ancestry blood as thick as it could, and to keep our fortunes from the outsiders.

However, during my stay in Japan, I met someone who made me trapped in a cheesy romance. At first, I refused to believe in him cause love at the first sight not existed in our world. But, strangely, I couldn’t stop myself to chase him and caught him so I could see into his eyes longer and let my heart thumped hard and harder as I drown myself into the tranquility of his gaze. He’s not as dreamy as you, he’s not as innocent as you but believe me, my dear, he’s the one for me.

 

And from this moment, I decided to leave everything, my wealth, my status, my family, and my beloved fiancé,

 

Because I found my love,

 

And I wish you will find one too for yourself.

 

*

 

“That’s the letter from my fiancé…”

 

Kai was jealous.

 

He knew he shouldn’t because Luhan chose to be with him. Luhan agreed to be his wife. However, the word ‘fiance’ kept banging his head with stinging feel, making his head became fuzzy with meaningless jealousy and his eyes stormed with rage. Why Luhan had a fiancé? Why Luhan had to cry because this said fiancé?

Kai bit the inside of his cheek, tried to remind himself it’s Luhan who near him so the anger shouldn’t change him. Luhan was his, and his only, forever. “What it says?” he dared to ask, even though he knew it will only hurt him to hear. Still, this is the truth about Luhan which he had to accept, like or not. He decided to marry Luhan without knowing anything about the boy, so he can’t just retreat like a stupid coward when he had to face trouble with his choice.

 

Luhan pouted at him, somehow it looked more gloomy than cute. This boy used to have expression everytime he came home late even though it only for a second, before the face filled again with cheerfulness which only stab his heart more with guilt. “He said he found love for himself, that’s why he left me.” Luhan eyes became glassy and Kai knew it probably because the boy can remember every single word and still get hurt because of it, “you know, because I’m from rich family, my destiny already written since I was born. Lucky, I’m just a mother, and so far my duty is to mother a heir to my family.”

 

Truthfully Kai was surprised because he thought this kind of life was only happened in drama.

 

“So I was also destined to marry one of my cousin, Yifan hyung, which came from Wu Family.” Luhan said in defeat.

 

“So this is why you cry?” Kai asked, “because he dumped you?”

 

Luhan shrugged again, “I don’t know. I don’t even love him that deep, but the part of me felt so angry. It felt like he betrayed me, when he’ll be my ticket to freedom from my mother, he just left everything for love.”

Again, rage suffocated his chest, at every words escaped Luhan lips. Kai suddenly wanted to angry, wanted to scream at his wife, asking if their own love story was real, or all these time Luhan just played along to please him, to make him happy while his love to the boy actually unrequited. But then, Luhan touched the container of his heart and grasped his shirt, as the boy said more,

 

“But then I met you.”

 

Kai lost his breath, when Luhan looked up and smiled sadly at him,

 

“And that makes me understand the power of love.”

 

If he was crying right now, he probably became the weakest father in the world. But his tears fell and he can’t help but smiled along with his wife who now became panicked at seeing his mourning face. Whatever. He said, as he hugged Luhan so tight. Let the tears came out and let him became vulnerable in front of his wife so Luhan knew his flaw, as long as Luhan stayed with him, as long as Luhan loved him.

“Why are you crying, Appa?” Luhan asked while trying to wipe away the tears, “I’m sorry, ok? I expected you to get angry, but not this, so I’m sorry if I hurt you. I don’t love him, ok? You’re my first and only love so please stop crying. Our baby will laugh at you!”

 

Kai laughed and choked his own saliva.

 

“I’m a human, Luhan.” He said with a heavy voice, while titling his head and kissed his wife tenderly, “I can be weak and pathetic,

but I also love you with all my might.”

 

*

 

hehehe it's not fair if only Luhan who cries, so, how was it? ^^