Chapter IX.

Your Eyes

Intimacy is the broken perception of an expected havoc within the bounds of love.

It is the endless longing for someone’s touch, the perceive feeling of wanting to be engulfed within a tight embrace, the type of lingering emotion where kisses and short pecks becomes a type of addiction, intimacy, it is the sensuality of the moment wherein one is aware that every action is laced with given consequences making one too fragile, too easy to destroy.

But then again, the redhead was never near normal therefore intimate attachments seems to be his thing. Which is exactly the same reason why he currently hears an emergency bell ringing inside his head because he looks for Jongin, because he yearns for him.

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Three days had passed.

Dawn breaks into the dark horizon and Kyungsoo who thinks it’s not too early for him to be wasting himself, finishes the third bottle of red wine he took from his kitchen just after perfecting the last touches on his main piece for the spring collection.

He sips from his glass, eyes hazy and cheeks flushed with a deep tint of scarlet as he studies the sculpture he had worked hard for, for the last few weeks and having his rationality slowly leave his practical state of mind, he suddenly thinks it’s not worth it any longer. With the chisel in his right hand, the redhead then unstably walks towards it and leaving no room for second thoughts he forcefully hits one of its arms causing it to break. Continuing with his routine, Kyungsoo mumbles curses under his breath, condemning Luhan for even asking him to make the final piece and focusing too much on his love life with Sehun.

However everything just seems to be a lame alibi, the liquor, the destruction of his sculpture and his pitiful state. For whether he admit it or not, Kyungsoo who’s heart is cracking like the left arm of the sculpture is just inevitably missing the man his creation was molded from.

Yet he wouldn’t allow himself to run to him, not yet to be exact because there are so much more to be done, to be acted upon. So Kyungsoo grabs his car keys and though his current state doesn’t allow him to, the redhead drives half drunk to the place that he knows would hold the key in bringing him and his sculpture back to where they were supposed to be.

With his vision blurry and his posture a little bit tipsy, it comes as a surprise to the man with the owl like eyes how he is able to arrive at his destination in a single piece although his car had to swerve and sway quite a few times. He hiccups, his fingers combing through his frizzy locks while his other hand tries to straighten out the crumpled parts of his shirt.

How long has it been?

Kyungsoo unknowingly questions himself, taking a deep breath as he continues walking along the path that luckily is still familiar to him. He gazes at his surroundings and notes how the flowers had remarkably blossom and grew since he last visited. The atmosphere though remains to be quiet and calm bringing back memories that the man tried so hard to suppress. God knows how much he disliked coming to this place for he was torn in between guilt, love and the hope, no matter how impossible it maybe to bring that one person back to life.

To be able to see Oh Soyeon breathing again.

“Hey.” Kyungsoo doesn’t know how to start. He arrives in front of Soyeon’s grave, head hung low with his body trembling. For a moment the redhead fails to say anything else, the silence slowly becomes too thick that somehow he thought it was starting to suffocate him.

Unspoken thoughts swim inside the man’s head and as much as turning back seems appealing to him, Kyungsoo knows it’s no time for him to be chickening out so before he could even utter a word, his knees fall weak against the concrete ground.

“Oh Soyeon.” He says in a slurred motion, lips quivering as the effect of the liquor now fully takes effect on his body. Somehow the redhead uses this to his advantage and with driven courage, his drunken state becomes an excuse for the things he were to do next.

Emotions pour out. “I’m sorry Soyeon.” Kyungsoo’s voice cracks as he says those words, his eyes shift to the side trying to avoid at any cost to look at the grave in front of him but he just fails and that’s when it comes to him that he just can’t help but to tear up ‘cause no matter how much he wept and bawled his eyes out already, the past days weren’t still enough of a witness to his pain for kneeling in front of  Soyeon’s grave right now he knew he was still hiding so much more.

“I’m sorry Soyeonnie. I apologize because no matter how you look at it, I’m one of the main reasons why you’re no longer here. It was my fault to begin with, if only I wasn’t self-centered then maybe I’d still be able to see you smile.” The redhead bitterly cries. “Do you hear me Soyeon? I’m sorry for bringing you pain, for destroying such a beautiful relationship. It’s too late but if only I could turn back time, I’ll do everything to bring you back in Jongin’s arms. Jongin deserves you more than I do. He loves you and th