Chapter XVIII.

Never Let This Go

What Jongin likes about waking up early, practically earlier than his lover is that he’s able to watch him sleep as if the only thing the world offered was ecstasy.

His habit, consist mostly of leaving soft trails of kisses and tracing the edges of Kyungsoo’s face is just one of the aspects that reveals how much he had fallen for the other male. It’s quite hard actually, Jongin remembers, as his mind returns back to the times when he’d encounter sleepless nights just because he was in denial for the feelings he had for the redhead.

Of course it was never an easy feat to accept the fact that you were not the person you thought yourself to be and this goes just the same for Jongin. The repulse, the disgust that crept within him wasn’t missed in every moment he had the chance to close his eyes. He even thought he was turning mad when he, with no hesitations, decided to kiss Kyungsoo on the lips for the first time.

The feeling of falling in love ever again never actually presented itself to Jongin after he had lost Soyeon. So it comes in utmost surprise when one day, he just finds his heart uncharacteristically beating for someone who was not his deceased fiancée and to make matters more confusing, his heart was palpitating for a man, which to say is weird considering it is even the same man who cause their break up with Soyeon.

That’s when Jongin realizes once again that he really was a lost cause.

That for the first time in his life, he simply just wanted to be happy. Meaning that it didn’t actually matter whether he was straight or biual or whatever gender there ever had been. And although it’s a hard truth to probably brace yourself with, Jongin recalls himself finally able to get over his fiancée’s death and love without boundaries again, even though that meant having to love and accept the man who he initially thought had caused all his misery.

It was through this that he was able to slowly understand the world. He realized that not everyone is what they seem to be because this world was too impure to be exactly real with everything. He knew, with a strong gut feeling that everyone had to fake something in their life, not only once but more than one could imagine because life goes that way. People, in fear of accepting the pain of the truth often tend to sweet coat things.

Probably that’s the saddest part of it all. It is when everybody’s too fake to be real and achieve legit happiness.

Jongin reminisces these thoughts as he Kyungsoo’s hair and he smiles knowing the figure in front of him was a little symbol of honest emotions in the midst of all the heart wrenching lies. He stays attentive, watching the man slowly flutter his eyes open.

“Goodmorning.” Kyungsoo greets him immediately, yawning a little loudly after. “Did you have a good sleep?” He continues after, staring at Jongin while he lovingly gazes back at him.

The yournger males responds. “I assure you, I slept very well hyung.”

“Well then,” Kyungsoo rubs his sleepy eyes open. “Go get change, I planned us a beautiful day today.”

Jongin gives his lover an inquiring gaze but doesn’t ask any further. Instead, he just stands up, earning a surprise shriek from Kyungsoo as he carries him in his arms leading them both towards the bathroom to start the day together.

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The feeling of cool and fresh air pricks on Jongin’s skin as he curiously stares at the unfamiliar road ahead of him.

It’s two thirty in the afternoon, the sun shining at its brightest while the couple drives to somewhere unknown or more like while Kyungsoo drives Jongin to somewhere unknown though he lets the man be.

With the car moving in a mild pace, Jongin allows the humming of the vehicle’s engine to be his own music. He taps his fingers against his lap and rolls down the car’s window to get a better view of the places they were passing by when suddenly his eyes literally glimmers at the sight of a calm blue sea glistening under the sun’s light.

“Hyung. This is amazing.” He notes and slightly moves his body forward to see more of the view. Driving, Kyungsoo laughs at the amusement seen on Jongin’s face and he speeds up just a little bit to startle the younger one.

“Hyung!” Jongin whines and Kyungsoo chuckles a little more to before he speaks.

“Just wait ‘till we reach our destination, I’m sure you’ll really like it there.”

“So, this isn’t the best yet?”

“No, because as they say always save the best for last.”

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If there was one thing that Jongin always admired about Kyungsoo is that the man never failed to surprise him. Grinning widely, he then opens the door to the redhead’s car and when he’s unable to make a sound due to too much incoherency, he chooses to just run towards the alluring sea as if to express his joy.

“I told you this place is paradise.” Kyungsoo exclaims and Jongin excitedly nods his head.

“I don’t just like it here hyung, I love it!”

“Then shall we go in?”

“Of course we should.”

Hand in hand, Jongin enters with Kyungsoo inside the beautifully built home near the sea. Kyungsoo’s lips tilts upward as he sees the place in the same state as he left it, blue linen curtains still designing the windows of the house.

“This is Joonmyeon’s villa and it was a part of his last wish that I look after it when he’s gone. Isn’t it nice, I mean this, the ambiance of the place, isn’t it Jongin?”

“Yeah hyung,” Jongin says, squeezing Kyungs