Chapter 42
Love, Lust, Lies : A diary of a broken wife
Dear Dara,
Surprised? Well I’m kind of surprised myself. Love letters are not my thing. I miss you mommy. More than you could think of. I’m going crazy thinking when you will be back, if you’re coming back. I kept thinking when we will be whole again. I know that this is all because of me, why you left, why we are like this. Why did I do that in the first place? I kept telling myself over and over again how stupid I am to hurt you and our kids. I hate myself for doing this to you, because of me you’ve become like that. And I blame myself for that.
Last night during dinner, Tae suddenly mentioned that there was a time you cried because he wouldn’t eat his vegetables. He said it was when I flew back from Japan because you were sick. You weren’t sick were you? You were hurting right? Then I started hating myself more. I was so scared to tell you the truth that I didn’t think about how much damage this could do to you.
Today we’re going shopping because Tae did great in school and I promised him toys. Then he said he did it for Hana too so I should buy her toys too. We have good kids huh? Thanks to you. I guess I never really saw it back then because I was too busy with the world tour and all. But now, I see how Tae is such a good brother to Hana and how Hana obeys and trust her big brother.
I miss you mommy. This past 4 weeks I kept thinking what’s going to happen in the future. What if you don’t come back. Then I start reminiscing our old days. The first time I met you, how you caught my attention right away. How you made me blush just by saying hello. How we were such a perfect couple.
How do I end this letter? I have so many things that I want to tell you. But I don’t know where to start. Right now I want to hug you tight. I want to feel you in my arms. I want to smell your sweet scent. I want to hear your voice.
Can we have a new beginning mommy? Can we start all over again? Can you come back here beside me. I’m so lost witho
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