I sat alone, contemplating to myself once again. I seem to always appear in these types of situations as it seems. I lifted my hand to catch the first snow of the season, the one that I used to always watch with you. I looked down to the park bench that my own body brought to on it's own, my body remembering the exact place we first met. When our hands first linked on the first snow two years ago.

A stray tear left down onto my cheek as I sat my hand back down onto the bench. Will I ever see you again? Her features filled my brain without even asking for them, flashes of her smile and then pain. Only pain. I stood in fear of what would happen, an arm linked around mine as whispers lingered into the air. I was being walked back to the hospital, just like the past two winters. I beg the nurse to take me for a walk to this spot and the pain comes back and our visit is over.

I banged my fist onto the white bed as tears began streaking my face. Why is that the only memory I have of you? Why does it hurt so much?

As always during the holiday season my family would visit asking if remembered them and then my friends. Each year the group would seem smaller to visit me, after all I don't remember their names as they walk in but I remember their faces. I smile to myself if at times a memory even comes back from when we all were younger. I know it's hard to explain themselves each time they come, I know how hard it is for them. It already hurts me just trying to remember. They have always refused to tell me why I can't remember them, no matter how much I beg I don't get an answer.

“Hyoyeon!” A woman calls from the door with a lunchbox, I give her a smile. Maybe a friend or my mother?

“Hello, who are you?” I ask as simply as I can, the woman nodded and sat by my bed and her hand touched mine.

“How are you honey? I am Mrs. Jung,” the woman smiled lightly placing a hand on my cheek.

“Hello, may I know your relation towards me?” I asked confused as she began unpacking the lunch she had brought.

“I am one of your friend’s ummas,” she situated each dish in front of me, they all looked so delicious but I was more curious about this woman.

“ahhh... chincha? Is there a reason why you’re here? Other than seeing me of course,” I added matter-of-factly giving the cutest smile I could give.

“Ahhh how kyooo,” the woman pinched my cheek but her face turned serious, “but I’m here to tell you the truth. It’s been two years and I believe it's time for you to know.”

I placed a finger on my lips in thought, “What do you mean?”

“Do you remember a young girl you were with those years ago?” she asked me staring right into my eyes.

“Yes of course, she had brown eyes. Her smile was so beautiful it could light a room. Her hair was so long and OMO! She always had the funniest attitude but I loved that about her,” I smiled unwillingly, “but... I can't even remember her name.”

My headaches started again but I looked over to the woman who began tearing up at my words.

“omo... ma’am... did I say something wrong?” I said placing my hand on her shoulder.

“No, not at all honey,” She wiped her tears as she began packing up the lunch, man I wanted to eat that.

“Let’s switch rooms for a while, I’ll explain on our way there,” I stood cautiously following her out the door, a nurse gave us a nod and we started for an elevator.

“Where are we going ma’am?” I wondered as she pushed on a floor very much higher than my own.

“Hyoyeon, the day that you talked to that girl that you seem to always remember, the both of you had gotten into an accident after that day. You both got ran over by a truck, you ran in front of her taking most of the impact resulting in your memory loss and you saved my child, I can't thank you anymore for that,” the woman’s tears continued.

“The girl in my dreams is your daughter?” I asked astonished as we exited the elevator.

“Those aren’t dreams, dear. Those are memories, day by day you are regaining a piece of your accident but everyone doesn’t want you to know, they are afraid you will be heartbroken,” the woman answered quickly as we walked down the long white path.

“Heartbroken...?” I whispered to myself as we appeared in front of a door.

“Before you see this, honey I have to tell you. You may have took most of the impact but she...” I couldn't take anymore of this anticipation and I walked through the room door seeing a girl hooked up to a machine. I watched her chest rise and fall looking over her body, her face, her every feature... It’s her. I’m finally seeing you again.

I ran by her side holding onto her hand, “Jessica...”

I remembered her name... Jessica. Jessica the night flooded into my mind too fast as I gripped onto her hand falling back into a chair, I think I was yelling but I couldn't hear a word, darkness engulfed my world as I was eye to eye with nothing. Then it changed I sat at the bench that I was at not too long ago. This time I looked down to my hand covered in gloves and in a peacoat of some sort. My body lifted and I noticed I was watching myself talk to this girl.

“Jessica!!” I yelled holding onto her arm, “I love you...”

“And you choose to tell me that now? When I chose to marry a man, I have asked you. I have tried to get you to say this to me so many times before! AND YOU TELL ME NOW?!” her voice raised as she raced for the road.

“I was scared okay! I didn't think I deserved you! Hell, I thought I would never meet you!”I yelled as I chased her through the new snow.

“It’s the first snow! Please... I love you... just hear me out,” I asked as she abruptly stopped in an intersection.

“Fine I...” I watched her lips part but a truck took over my peripheral vision, I had no idea what was happening. My body flew in front of a truck and I watched myself get crushed under the weight of the truck.

I began seeing light once more, a couple nurses had me locked down in a chair with someone rushing into the room. A doctor shoved a needle into my arm as I cried out once more before I turned to darkness, “I love you Jessica Jung!”

I felt my body begin to freeze as the liquid ran through my veins, my body felt heavy and I drifted back into darkness. I thought it might have been the last I’d seen of her.

I woke up, not knowing what day it had been, people began visiting me again but this time I wasn't allowed to leave my room or bed. I couldn't go on my night walks to the bench in the park, I couldn't go back to the room with the girl hooked to the machine. I couldn't see the love of my life.

I began crying as my mother walked in through the door, “umma...”

She looked at me astonished, “Hyo, did you just call me umma?”

“neh... I remember,” I looked down fiddling with my fingers, they could barely touch due to the restraints on my arms.

She pulled me in for a lasting hug as each family member came in, “oppa, appa, Fany you are here also?”

They all looked at me as if something was wrong.

“How did you remember...?” They all sat around questioning me.

“I met her...” I said feeling my heart break, my monitor began to beep faster showing my heart rate increasing.

“You met who?” They all looked concerned this time.

“I saw Jessica, and all the memories kept crashing back into my mind, our friendship, my confession. the accident... It’s...” My teeth began to gnash together as my headaches came back, my heart rate raised to dangerous levels and right on cue doctors rushed in filling the white room with even more white.

“Please, leave. I cannot let this happen again, she might die,” the doctor pleaded rushing my loved ones out of the room. I felt my tears fall, I now know who they are, I now am feeling... I’m feeling grief. I used to give those same people smiles as I had to undergo surgery. I had no clue who they were now that I know, I don't want them to leave.

The same cold feeling ran through my body, I looked to the door finding a girl standing there hand against the frame. I smiled to her feeling my eyes close once more. For some odd reason it didn't feel long this time, it didn't feel as if I had woken up days later like before, this time if felt maybe like five minutes. It was shocking to me yes, but more like someone snapped me awake with the syringe instead of put me back asleep.

A hand touched mine and I lifted my head to see her face, she was thin, yet her features were still beautiful as ever. I smiled trying to lift my hand, though the restraints held me back as usual. I groaned in defeat as she kissed my cheek.

“I... woke up the day they took you away from me,” her voice cracked and I watched her swallow trying her best to speak to me.

“I do love you too Hyoyeon... It’s not because you saved me that day but because I know how much you love me. That’s only one of the ways you’ve shown it. I know you are the perfect one for me, yes my parents arranged a marriage for me but I was always waiting for you to take me away from the misery. You could have said I loved you fours years ago and I would have been with you forever. I would never say no, but you are so stubborn!” She yelled making me remember why I loved her. Her feisty attitude that kept my childish ways in line.

I wanted to kiss her so badly but the way they sat me in this bed didn't work very well, I  am thankful for her mother for giving me the opportunity to see this girl again. To remember her again. To be sitting across from her again, maybe we both look like but I sure as hell would take this any day for a pampered life filled with the question in the back of my head wondering who this girl was.

Her hand caressed my face and her lips touched mine sending shivers down my spine, every moment that we shared from kisses to walks that we took together through the rain. Every first snow that we watched together flooded my brain. I couldn't help but cry.

“Hyoyeon, we just have to take this day by day.”

“I’ll be here for you Jessica. I promise. I love you”

I was in a really sad mood so I made it a quick chapter. Aish, I hope you like it. More Hyosica for you all(:

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-Kai