2013
A Chance to Change the PastA/N: hi, everyone! PLEASE READ THIS WHOLE THING FIRST!
Because I have a... confession... to make.
I've been... bad/naughty/mischievous/mean/whatever you want to call it. :P XD
Okay, so you know how I said in the last update that it was untitled for two reasons? But I only gave you the minor one, which was because I can't think of any name for it? And have you noticed how the writing was kind of... off... too? As in, rushed or something? And that there are some things there that just doesn't seem to fit with how the story had been going so far?
Well, it's because... the last update wasn't a 'real' chapter. It was just a 'joke chapter' of sorts. It's not the actual continuation of the story. You know that planned and fixed outline I've been talking about? After the 'Goodbye' chapter is this chapter, '2013'. The last update is nowhere in my full outline for the story.... Hehe.
You guys remember how I asked before if you guys wanted a bittersweet or a happily ever after ending, because I could think of many ways to end the story? The last 'chapter' was one version of a 'bittersweet' one, where everything is fixed but Erin loses her memory and Changmin lets her go. If that was the actual ending that I had chosen, it would have been expanded to a few more chapters. More details, more heartbreak. I'm sure you don't want to read an ending for them like that right? Because I most certainly don't want to write their ending that way, too :P
But I just got some crazy whim last time and thought I'd type something like that idea anyway and post it for you guys to read so that I can see your reactions. Hehe, I'm sorry, that was kind of mean of me XD I'm sorry it made you guys sad, honest D:
I know you feel like killng me because of that stunt, but at least that's one possible bittersweet ending eliminated, right? XD
So, yeah... please don't kill me! D:
And I repeat:
THE LAST UPDATE IS JUST A 'JOKE CHAPTER'. IT'S NOT REALLY PART OF THE STORY. IT'S THIS CHAPTER THAT'S THE ACTUAL CONTINUATION.
Alright, now that that's cleared up... if you guys don't totally hate me already (and feel like abandoning me and the story), let's go on and see what actually happened to Erin when she went back to her time, okay? XD
Early December 2013
It's been around five months already.
Almost half a year since I had returned to my normal life.
The past semester had ended, the term break came and left, and the new semester had started about a month ago. It was December now and the Christmas vacation was about to begin in a couple of weeks. I was buried in papers to write and reports to prepare. I was with my friends and classmates again. I went home to see my family every weekend. I attended my classes, discussed ideas with my professors, and kept up with my school work.
Like what I said, my life was back to normal.
Except that it wasn’t.
And I really doubted if it would ever return to normal.
I mean, how could I just forget what happened to me, right?
How could I forget them? How could I forget him?
It’s been five months since I’ve last seen them. And no words can express how much I miss them.
There were times when I wanted to kick myself for asking Mr. Han to make sure that the lawsuit was finished early, because it ended up speeding up my time with them. But then, I also want to kick myself for feeling regret for that, because I knew that nothing was worth making that lawsuit last. That would have only prolonged the heartache for everyone, especially for the boys. I was glad that the lawsuit finished, because they were happy now.
That much I can see.
Because I might not have been able to see them in person these last few months, but I’ve certainly seen a lot of them on TV and on the internet. Dong Bang Shin Ki was everywhere, and a person would never lack for material to feed her inner fangirl.
And I could at least how much the boys were thriving, even if it was just from a distance.
A great distance.
But as much as my heart was swelling with happiness for them, that didn’t mean that my heart couldn’t feel pain and longing at the same time. I miss them.
I miss Yunho. I miss his steady leadership and the guidance that we can always count on him for.
I miss Jaejoong. I miss his delicious meals.
I miss seeing the Yunjae couple together (though not so much walking-in on their "activities").
I miss Yoochun. I miss his cheesy jokes.
I miss my best friend Junsu. I miss his high-pitched squeals and how we used to hang out.
I miss Changmin. I miss… well, I miss everything about him. From the way he bickered with me to how he can be suddenly sweet and caring. Heck, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I even miss his overprotectiveness. All those things that made him Changmin.
My Changmin.
Though I’m not really sure if I still had the right to call him ‘mine’.
Sighing heavily to myself, I slammed my book shut, earning myself a glare from the librarian for the noise. I muttered a quick apology to her as I made my out of the library where I had been studying for the past couple of hours.
Or should I say ‘trying’ to study.
It had been taking every single amount of effort and self-control that I had to concentrate on my school work these days. I mean, it’s not exactly easy to get over losing five people who have become very dear to you, is it?
I headed back to my dormitory building and when I entered my room, I found that my roommate, Hanna, was already back from her last class.
“Hey,” I greeted her with a small smile as I started to dump my school things on my bed.
“Oh, there you are. I was wondering where you were. Didn’t your last class ended hours ago?”
“Yeah, I was trying to study in the library…”
“Trying?” she raised an eyebrow at me, catching the key word at once.
“I’ve been a bit distracted,” I admitted sheepishly as I sat down on my bed.
“Well, I’ll be the first one to agree with that! You really haven’t been yourself lately,” Hanna said accusingly to me. If people think that my personality is strong, Hanna’s is way stronger.
Then, she narrowed her eyes suspiciously at me. “Actually… now that I think about it… you’ve been acting weird since that incident in the hallway!”
I couldn’t help but grimace.
What Hanna was talking about was the time she found me in the hallway… just right after I came back from the past.
Flashback
When the red light had faded again, I was back in the hallway of my dormitory building, exactly where I had been before I was taken back to 2009.
As I blinked uncertainly at the white walls, polished tiles, and wooden room doors, a sudden torrent of new memories came flooding into my mind. The old and the new were mixing. Memories before and after I changed things were combining in my mind, and it was all making me dizzy. My head was pounding and my ears were ringing.
Memories, thoughts, colors… they were all swirling before my eyes.
I slid down against the wall, clutching my head in pain.
“Erin?” a concerned voice suddenly asked.
I looked up blearily, and it took me a while before my eyes could focus. It was my roommate Hanna, standing over me, though her voice sounded to my ears as though she was miles away- like an echo. There was a worried expression on her face.
“Are you alright? Are you sick? Why aren’t you in class? You’re already late!”
“W-what date is it?” I muttered.
“What?” she asked, becoming even more alarmed by my question. “You’re really sick, aren’t you?”
“Just answer me,” I all but pleaded with her, willing the pounding on my head to stop.
“July 16, 2013!” she answered exasperatedly. “Now, where does it hurt? What exactly is wrong with you?”
“Huh… I’m back.”
That was all that Hanna managed to get out of me before everything went black and I fell unconscious.
End of Flashback
It had taken quite a bit before I could sort out my memories. Of course, my memories wherein TVXQ and JYJ were separated were obviously from the time before I changed the past, and the memories wherein the group was whole as five were from after I had met them. But still, they were different events that are supposed to have happened during one timeline, and they were overlapping and crossing in my mind. So, yeah, it had been quite confusing.
So, I had spent the first few weeks after my time-travelling trip watching “new” videos of the boys, just to help my brain process it all. And even if I still technically “remembered” these performances, it was still quite fulfilling and emotional for me to see them. They were solid proof that I’ve done my mission well.
“Hey, Erin? Are you still even listening to me?” Hanna huffed irritably, bringing me back to our current conversation.
Hanna had been adding to the “complications” that I’ve been experiencing since I got back. She was of my closest friends (we've been roommates since we were freshmen), and I loved her dearly, but since she knew me so well by now, she could immediately tell if something was up with me. If I wasn’t telling her something.
Though I suppose I haven’t exactly been subtle. I can hardly say that I’m surprised that she senses I’m not myself lately, when I’ve spent all my free time either “re-watching” DBSK videos after their lawsuit with SM or just staring blankly into space, lost in my thoughts.
Yeah, anyone who paid a moment’s worth of attention to me could easily enough tell that I was “distracted”.
“I’ve just had… some things in my mind lately,” I mumbled as an explanation.
“What things?” she persisted.
“DBSK things,” I said flatly.
“Yes, I’ve seen you watching their videos right up until three in the morning these days. I know you’re a fan, but you’re not usually that addicted. Is something big going on in your fandom?" Though it was Hanna who had first introduced me to DBSK, it wasn't her main fandom.
“No, there’s something big going on with me,” I muttered quietly, rolling my eyes.
Hanna heard me, though. “What?” she asked sharply.
“Look, you wouldn’t believe me even if I told you the truth, so just drop it, okay?” I snapped at her.
“No! I’ve had enough with you behaving so oddly! I want the truth!”
“You want the truth? Fine! I time-travelled back to 2009 and met DBSK so that they won’t split into two different groups in their lawsuit with SM, just like with what happened in our time before I went back!” I said loudly, losing my patience. Her inquisition wasn’t helping with my nerves.
Hanna’s jaw droppe
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