Sleepless Night

A Chance to Change the Past
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A/N: Hi, all! Thanks for all the subscriptions and reviews once again! :)

Here's the next chapter.

It's kind of long, but you'll get a chance to look into everyone's perspectives here...

It was completely dark in the suite already. And yet nobody was getting up from their seats to switch on the lights.

Yoochun, Junsu, Changmin, and I have been sitting like this in total silence for the last few hours. Nobody had much strength left to move or even say anything. Heck, there was nothing we could say.

We were all too lost and immersed in our own thoughts.

I thought back to what had happened a few hours before, right after Changmin asked me that particular question about the fate of his hyungs in the future.

Flasback:

Changmin’s question left me in a situation that felt as though I would be thrown to the sharks, no matter how I chose to answer it.

And I had been correct with that thought.

I only glanced hesitatingly back and forth between Yunho and Jaejoong, but they and their dongsaengs just needed that to guess my answer: ‘Yes, they had split up, too, most likely.’

Right after that, Yunho rose up from his seat rather abruptly and strode towards the suite’s front door.

“Yunho!” Jaejoong attempted to call him back, shocked and pained by Yunho’s reaction. “Yunho! Where are you going? Yunho!!!”

But Yunho only continued on, wrenched the door open, and stepped out of the suite, closing the door loudly behind him.

We had only sat frozen and thunderstruck for about a second when Jaejoong leapt to his feet, too.

“YUNHO!” he screamed in pain, making to rush out of the suite as well and follow his lover.

But Yoochun grabbed him back.

“What are you doing, Yoochun?!” the eldest yelled as he fought against his soulmate’s restraining grip. “Let go! I have to go after him!”

“No offense, hyung, but, judging from how he just left like that and ignored you, I really don’t think Yunho hyung would really want to talk to you right now,” Yoochun said quietly.

Jaejoong went limp at Yoochun’s words. I had never seen him so defeated.

“I’ll go after him, then, oppa,” I told Jaejoong and ran out before either Yoochun or the still crying Junsu could call me back. Changmin looked too much in the state of shock to do anything.

“Oppa!” I shouted as I ran down the hallway. “Oppa! Yunho oppa!”

Yunho was about to get into the elevator when I got to him.

“Yunho oppa! Wait!”

I skidded to a stop right in front of him, out of breath.

“Yunho oppa, why the hell did you just-?”

But the rest of my question just trailed away into nothing when I caught sight of his face.

“Erin, please…” he whispered quietly, his eyes showing all his pain and agony.

“But, oppa, Jaejoong oppa’s really hurting back there and-“

“And I’m not? I just found out that my lover not only left the company and our group, but also ME!”

I narrowed my eyes. “Oppa, again, we’re not really even sure about this whole ‘leaving behind’ issue, so please, let’s not get into that.”

“It still doesn’t change the fact that we split as a couple in the future… nor does it change the pain and regret that it causes in me right now.”

Well, there was no way I could deny the truth behind those words.

“Look,” he murmured, beginning again after a while. “I just- I just need time to- to think… to process all of this and everything…”

I nodded.

I could only imagine how hard this was for him, with him being the group’s leader, after all. I can really see his disappointment in himself that he had apparently not been able to keep s together in face of the challenges that they are and that they will be experiencing. Then, add to that the fact that he would also be breaking up with Jaejoong along with those events…

“And…” he hesitated a bit. “And do me a favor, will you?”

With the look of despair on his face right now, I just said at once, “Anything, oppa.”

“Tell Yoochun… tell Yoochun that I’ll be the one sleeping in the third bedroom with Changmin tonight, if it’s okay with him, will you?”

I immediately regretted my promise at once.

“But, oppa-!” I protested, my heart sinking.

“Please, Erin?” he told me, staring at me intently as though I was deciding whether he would live or die right now. “Please?”

“A-alright…”

“I’ll probably be back late…” That didn’t sound good. “So… I-I guess I’ll just see you tomorrow morning, okay?”

He got into the elevator.

“Take care, alright?” he said quietly, offering me a weak smile before the elevator's doors closed and blocked him from my sight.

I dragged myself back to the suite.

I peered around the slightly open door to look inside first.

Jaejoong was now sobbing harder Junsu, and Yoochun was at lost on who to comfort first. He seemed to have compromised by holding Junsu’s hand with his right one and having his left arm around Jaejoong’s shoulders. Changmin was still just staring blankly at the air in front of him.

As I stepped into the suite, Jaejoong’s head instantly went up.

“What happened? Where’s Yunho? Is he alright?” he quickly shot questions at me, already half-rising from his seat.

Seeing the look on my face, Yoochun immediately pulled Jaejoong back down, realizing that the news that I was about to deliver wouldn’t be so well-received by his soulmate.

“Yunho oppa… Yunho oppa left the hotel, I think,” I said quietly. “He didn’t really tell me where he was going, but…”

“He just LEFT?” Jaejoong burst out.

“He’s in a lot of pain, Jaejoong oppa, and-“

“But I’m in pain, too!”

Really! I just wanted to facepalm myself at this couple! Just because I tell them that the other person is hurting doesn’t mean that I’m already discounting the fact that they themselves are hurting, too!

“He says he just needs to think…” I muttered, hanging my head.

“W-well, that seems reasonable,” Junsu said through his tears. “W-we all know what Yunho hyung’s like, Jaejoong hyung. H-he always goes off by himself when he n-needs to think, doesn’t he?”

Jaejoong let out a depressed sigh before nodding slowly, accepting the truth in their second youngest member’s words.

Then, I remembered the promise I had just made to Yunho.

I winced, thinking about how well that would be received by Jaejoong. Or should I say how unwell that would be received?

Oh, bother, I thought miserably.

Ah well, a promise is a promise.

“Y-Yoochun oppa,” I said, turning to Yoochun. “Yunho oppa asked me to tell you that- that he’ll be sleeping in the third room with Changmin tonight, i-if that’s okay with you?”

End of Flashback

Jaejoong had run into the first bedroom right after I said those words, hot and pained tears flowing down his cheeks.

He still hadn’t come out since.

Suddenly, Changmin’s stomach growled loudly, breaking the silence between the four of us that had been going on since this afternoon and reminding us all of how late it already was. Of how it was already way past dinnertime.

Yoohcun, Junsu, and I all looked towards the maknae, but he didn’t even seem to notice the noise that his stomach had just made. That wasn’t good.

“Ch-changmin, do you want something to eat?” I asked quietly, quite concerned.

“You really think even I can actually eat something right now?” he suddenly snapped back at me, his eyes glaring once again.

I was immediately taken aback.

Geez, I was only worried about him! And here he was acting like a jerk again towards me!

But then, I realized that this wasn’t him being his usual mean self towards me. It was more likely him still dealing with the pain and hurt caused by the news about their future, and he was still very upset about it.

So, I just decided to let it go and not make a big deal of it, but-

“Changmin,” Yoochun said sternly. His voice was quiet, but the warning behind it was clear.

For one moment, I thought Changmin was going to lash out on Yoochun again, but then he met my eyes and saw the shock and hurt in them because of his previous words towards me.

“Sorry,” he apologized softly, looking down. Then, he glanced up to offer me a small smile. “Thanks, but I’m not really in the mood to eat right now…”

, there’s definitely something seriously wrong with him, then.

“…I think I’ll just go to bed.”

And with that, the maknae also left us and went inside the third bedroom.

That left Yoochun, Junsu, and I to just resume our sitting in silence. Or should I say relative silence? Because Junsu was still sniffling loudly now and then.

After a while, Junsu let out shuddering breath and unsteadily got to his feet. Yoochun and I shot worried looks at him at once. He just shook his head at us.

“I-I think I’m going to go lie down, too,” he sniffed. “You coming, Erin?”

I hesitated.

Junsu looked so miserable that I felt like I should go and try to comfort him. But I glanced worriedly at the first bedroom door, being more worried for Jaejoong right now. Who knows what could be going on in that man’s head at this very moment?

I slowly shook my head. “I’m sorry, oppa, but I think Yoochun oppa should go with you instead…”

They both looked at me questioningly.

“I think I’ll be in the first bedroom tonight…” I told them, eying Jaejoong’s door concernedly, knowing that they’ll get what I’m trying to say.

They didn’t disappoint.

Yoochun and Junsu both nodded, and Yoochun got to his feet, clapping his hand on Junsu’s shoulder.

“Alright, I’ll stay with duckbutt tonight,” he said, starting to lead Junsu into the middle bedroom. “Look after Jaejoong hyung for us, will you?” he added quietly.

Junsu’s bloodshot eyes were also looking concernedly at the direction of the room where their eldest member was.

“I will,” I vowed, making my second promise for the night.

As Yoochun and Junsu disappeared into the second bedroom, I got to my feet and went over to Jaejoong’s door.

I opened it silently and stuck my head inside.

Jaejoong also hadn’t bothered to turn on his lights. He was curled into a ball in the middle of his bed, sobbing his heart out.

Oh, .

I stepped into the room as quietly as I could, but, apparently, I wasn’t quiet enough, because Jaejoong suddenly sat bolt upright in his bed.

YC and JS PoV

Yoochun and Junsu had gotten into their beds in silence.

Silence seemed to be the theme of the night, after all, and they had remained this way for a couple of hours. Neither sleeping, but just both staring up at the ceiling, thinking, wondering…

“Yoochun?” Junsu said quietly eventually. “Are you still awake?” (A/N: again, lines of characters that are totally italicized are said in Korean)

“Yeah…” came Yoochun’s equally quiet reply.

Yoochun rolled over to face Junsu. “Can’t sleep as well, huh?”

Junsu gave him a nod. “My head’s really pounding, actually…”

“With all the crying that you had been doing today, I’m not surprised,” Yoochun frowned worriedly.

Yoochun had never seen Junsu crying non-stop before.

And they say I’m the crybaby of DBSK, Yoochun had, in fact, thought wryly as they had gotten into their beds, with Junsu still sniffing and sobbing.

Thankfully, Junsu’s crying had finally ended about an hour ago.

“Yeah, and there’s the fact that I have too much in my head to think about…” Junsu said softly, turning his face around to look at Yoochun properly.

Yoochun grimaced. Yep, that would cause the head-pounding, too…

“What are you thinking about, duckbutt?”

“What am I not thinking about?” was Junsu’s defeated reply. “I- I just mainly still can’t believe that- that we’ll… you know, separate?” Junsu said the last word in barely more than a whisper.

Yoochun nodded, slowly. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I still can’t wrap my head around it fully, to be honest…”

“You really think it’s true?” Junsu breathed out quietly.

“Don’t tell me you’re thinking that Erin’s lying?” Yoochun said sharply.

He couldn’t believe that it was Junsu that would think that Erin wasn't saying the truth, seeing how the two of them had gotten so close these last few days. From Jaejoong, yes, Yoochun had been expecting something like that; he wasn’t really that surprised that Jaejoong had acted that way that afternoon. But Junsu…?

“What? Of course not!” Junsu yelped in shock. “It’s just that- I don’t know. The whole thing seems so unlikely to me. I mean, the three of us without Yunho hyung and Changmin, and vice versa?” Junsu shook his head sadly. “I just can’t imagine it…”

“But what about us leaving SM, though?” Yoochun said carefully. “Can you imagine that?”

Junsu’s eyes widened.

“You’re really considering that?” he asked Yoochun in shock.

“I don’t know…” Yoochun muttered. “All five of us know that our reasons for filing that lawsuit in the future are nothing but the truth.”

Then, his eyes darkened even more. “And you heard how evil SM became towards us,” Yoochun said disgustedly. “I mean, hell, they’ve stopped us from appearing on TV! Tell me, Junsu, how can the

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hpfanatic
chap23 will be a bit delayed! I'm sorry! D: I'm buried in school work right now. I'll try to update during the week, if not, definitely on the 30th then T.T

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Bayan13 #1
Chapter 1: Every time I miss them and yearn to be within this casual intimate space with them, I come back to this story. Every time I ask myself unanswerable questions or think of what-ifs and how different the future could've been, I come back to this story.

I wasn't sure about reading this story at first, as I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that everything the boys have experienced - good or bad - has helped them grow and mature into who and what they are today, as different as they might be in the story. They each paved their path with their efforts and hard work. They all grew a lot, learned a lot, and made many amazing achievements and precious memories. The things they did, the music they made, and the experiences they gained in those ten years apart are all equally precious, and I honestly wouldn't trade them for an alternate reality.

That's why I treasure their present as much as their past. Their past will always be precious - to them and us - no matter how much time passes or things change. If they ever have a future together, that day will be the happiest in Cassiopeia's history. Until that day comes, I will treasure every day they spend growing and doing their best in what they love. I'm grateful enough that they exist in this world in my lifetime.

Yet there are days when I wish this story was real and yearn for any interactions between the five with all my being. On such days, every DB5K song, video, and picture just makes me cry and scream WHY.

It's even worse when I read this story set in 2014 and realize that barely anything has changed five years later. Instead, we now yearn to see JYJ interactions just like we always did with DB5K. It's so painful and frustrating. It's naive to think it'll ever get less hard and sad to remember after many years. That's because no matter how much time passes, they'll never be less precious in our hearts.

Being part of Cassiopeia is not easy. Our boys are separated and experience many hardships, and our fandom is equally split, messy, and toxic as a result. There's a lot we need to endure, wait for, and persevere through as fans. But the boys honestly make anything and everything worth it. They're the reason we're all still here going strong 15 years later. We still empty merchandise and album shelves and increase votes and views. We still sell out tickets and fill venues. We're still a shining pearl red ocean. We're still keeping the faith and finding happiness and inspiration in our boys. We honestly couldn't be more blessed.
Angelz0715 #2
Chapter 54: This story is so good! I really wish that it was true that they are still together. But even now I’m still always keeping the faith to see them reunite again someday~
jcnafaiz
#3
Chapter 53: Where are you now??
YooAnne6002
#4
Chapter 54: Just done reading Thank you author nim for this fic I really love it if only this is TVXQ5 reality, if only all five of them stands on the same side about the lawsuit, but atleast with this fic cassiopeia's 5 stars are still together, it makes me happy
Erin and ChangMin bickering is what makes this fic more enjoyable ro read, I love how they end up with each other and be a happily married couple and have 2 lovable kids
I also love the last part it seems like YooChun is falling inlove with JunSu, I want YooSu and YunJae wedding update please, again thank you and
God bless you author nim
changmindi988
#5
Chapter 54: Shim Erin! and I love you author-nim!
changmindi988
#6
Chapter 50: doneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee oi u made me kiss him mentally!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thankuuuuuuuuuu uhggggggggggggg
changmindi988
#7
Chapter 25: Thats exactly what they shouldve done!
changmindi988
#8
Chapter 15: There she spilled it out and i'm crying a river here
changmindi988
#9
Chapter 13: Nice one to distract Junsu <3
changmindi988
#10
Chapter 11: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk