Goodbye
A Chance to Change the PastA/N: uhm. yeah. erm, hi, guys...
So I suppose you've read the title chapter "Goodbye" already, and, yeah. I guess that's a big clue to what will be in here.
I just want to ask you all a favor, no matter what you may read in this chapter, please don't kill me? I promise to have a full explanation waiting ready for any possible angry (and hurt) mobs in my A/N at the end of chapter as to why this next update is suddenly like this. I'm so sorry.
Still grinning stupidly to myself, I made my way to the sofa to just marvel at my good luck today.
However, all my intents of just plopping down on the sofa were disrupted when my foot was caught on something on the floor, making me trip. I was about to fall face first on the sofa, but thank God that I managed to use my hands just in time to break my fall.
“And here I thought that I was having such a great day,” I grumbled, as I eased myself to sit properly on the sofa, rubbing my foot. It goddamned hurt!
I squinted down in the dark to see what had caused me to stumble.
Since the boys and I didn’t bother to turn on any of the lights when we came in, apparently, I hadn’t seen my backpack lying around on the floor.
I just sighed and shook my head.
My parents had always been telling me before that one day I was going to end up getting hurt with the way that I always leave my things scattered everywhere. Of course, this wasn’t the first time that my parents had been proven right, but it was still slightly annoying that even when I’m thrown back in the past, it still happens to me.
Well, I guess it is my fault for leaving it just lying around here in the living room that I-
Hang on, I thought, frowning down at my bag.
But… I don’t even recall leaving my bag here tonight.
Oh, well, maybe it was one of the boys who left it here when we arrived tonight? After all, I was in deep sleep when we arrived here, so one of them probably carried it in with the rest of the luggage. It’s kind of weird that they just left it here, though. I mean, Junsu could have easily put it by my bed, seeing as we shared a room.
Well, either way… that had to be the explanation.
But still… I couldn’t help but get a weird, funny feeling in my stomach. Even if there was no obvious reason to be, I was feeling highly uncomfortable right now.
I reached over and grabbed my heavy backpack from the floor. I placed it uncertainly by my side on the sofa.
No, I’m just being stupid, I scoffed at myself. It’s just my backpack! Why should it make me feel so uneasy?
The boys would never let me live it down if they found out that an inanimate object was making feel so nervous!
Shaking my head at myself, I just leaned back against the sofa and tried to relax myself.
I couldn’t do it, though.
After a few minutes, I suddenly sat up straight again. Without knowing why I was doing it, as though some unknown force wouldn’t let me rest until I compelled to the weird urge, I seized my backpack and quickly opened it.
A faint, glowing red light was being emitted from somewhere in the depths of my bag.
A very familiar red light.
My whole body was so numb that I didn’t even know how I managed to get my head to move and peer into my bag. But I managed somehow.
And I saw it.
The paper. Of course it was the source of the red light.
I haven’t seen this piece of paper since I was last in my dormitory hallway in my time. Before I somehow ended up back here in the past.
And now it had appeared to me again.
Reaching a trembling hand into my bag, I took it out.
It looked exactly the same as I remember it had looked before. The riddle in front. The Cassiopeia constellation and ‘Always Keep the Faith’ at the back.
The glowing of the paper began to intensify.
And my brain finally started to work again to process what all of this meant.
It was time for me to go back.
I quickly let go of the paper and it fell down on the floor.
“I can’t!” I said immediately, panicked. “I can’t go back! Not yet!”
I didn’t even care anymore if I could be considered as a lunatic right now for talking to a piece of paper! This can’t be happening!
“I can’t go back yet!” I continued to ramble frantically, still talking to the glowing paper. “The boys still need to sort their Japanese affairs! And they have no concrete plan yet as to what they’re going to do now that they’ve left SM!”
The paper’s glow intensified even more, seemingly insisting that it is time for me to go back.
“I already told you that I can’t!” I told it hotly. Was I really crazy now for picking a fight with a piece of paper? Ah, well. “I can’t just leave them behind like this! Their future isn’t completely fixed yet! They haven’t even decided what they’re going to do! They still need my help!”
And then, even though there was no hint of any breeze or wind of some kind in the room, the paper fluttered and flipped over on the floor. Before, the back part was showing, and now it was the riddle facing upwards at me.
A thin red line of light formed under the word ‘separation’, pointing out to me something that I had really known all along.
Something that I had known since the beginning. Something that I myself had pointed out to Yoochun when he said that I might not be able to go back right away even after the lawsuit is done. Something that had been nagging at the back of my head since the lawsuit hearing had finished before we left for Japan.
The point of my mission was to fix the boys’ separation. Nothing more, nothing less.
And now that it was sure that the boys wouldn’t separate, that Dong Bang Shin Ki would remain strong and intact as group of 5… it was time for me go back home.
To return to my own time.
To leave them.
And if I was being honest with myself? I had been feeling odd since I woke up here earlier in the evening. Maybe it was being back in this hotel suite that started to make me feel that I was about to go back. Or maybe the place was just a coincidence, and that I would have been feeling odd wherever else we might have been during the same time.
Either way, there was no denying it anymore.
My mission was done and I now have to leave. And there was nothing that I could do about it.
“Alright, alright,” I mumbled quietly in a very defeated tone, my eyes already starting to prickle with tears. And then, I told the paper in a more urgent tone, “Just give me a minute, will you?”
And I jumped up from the sofa and started to run towards the bedrooms.
I was just about to burst into the second bedroom to shake Junsu awake when my feet screeched to a sudden halt, just a few more steps from our door.
The image of the boys’ reactions to the news of my impeding departure flashed in my mind.
Jaejoong and Junsu would flood the whole suite with their tears. Yunho would try to hold back his tears, but they would get the better of him in the end and they would still seep through his eyes that were shut tight in pain, and that would just make it more horrible for me to see. Yoochun would do his best to remain strong, but he would end up sobbing hard, like the crybaby of DBSK that he was. And Changmin-
Changmin.
I just got him and now I have to leave? Alright, I knew deep down that I would have to leave at some point, but really, just barely a few hours right after we got together? What kind of cruel joke of fate was this?!
My tears began to flow down my cheeks, and I hastily tried to wipe them away.
But it seems like even my own brain was conspiring against me, because memories of how Changmin used to wipe away my tears with his ha
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