Dear Myungsoo,

Remember the time you tried to teach me how to dance at the club? You got pretty frustrated and you said I had two left feet? Honestly, you were the one with, not two, but three left feet. You didn’t notice but the others were laughing at you, so I danced badly on purpose because if it’s with you, I don’t mind getting laughed at.

Which reminds me, I got laughed at today at the office. I accidentally asked a silly question to a patient, and since it was a demonstration, the junior doctors were there and they laughed. Even the patient cracked a grin. Sungyeol hyung comforted me though, but it wasn’t the same as having you, whispering softly from across the bed, intertwining your fingers with mine and looking away when I thanked you.

Sungyeol hyung did his best I guess - he hugged me and knocked the air out of my lungs. I guess it helps, in its own way. But I really loved your hugs, they weren’t crushing like Sungyeol hyung’s, or half-hearted like Woohyun hyung’s – your hugs were different.

You hugged me as if your life depended on it, and that dependence, that desperateness in the morning was what made my day. You used to engulf me, as if I had nothing to fear. I could feel a sense of protection and deep care in your hugs. I believed them you know, I believed you when you said we were meant for forever. I believed when you hugged me desperately and told me than you need me to survive. But you're just fine without me, aren't you?

Turns out, I am the desperate one. I am the one who needs you. You made me feel needed, included in your life, but truth is, you'll never need me the way I need you.

PS: Are you still bad at dancing or did the tune change your life?

With love,

Sungjong