Dear Myungsoo,

I feel so restless during nights. I toss and turn in the bed, trying to numb a part of my body so that it can drag down the rest into a dreamless sleep. But I can’t, so I end up getting out of the bed and sitting by the fireplace in the living room.

I wouldn’t lie, it does sometimes occur to me what you could be doing at the same time. I think up scenarios, but I like none of them, especially not the one that is the most plausible of them all.

You have forgotten me and I don’t like it.

The dying embers bring back memories – the camp, remember? You insisted we go, even though we didn’t know the first thing about camping. And that was the first time we fought, when the tent collapsed on us in the middle of the night. And then you almost burned my hand while lighting the fire. I still can’t believe you blamed it on the wood I had gathered so painstakingly. But in the end, we gave up all of it and slept under the stars. You lent me your arm, which I used as a pillow, and you gathered me close so that I fit into the curves of your body.

The next morning, we didn’t even remember that we had fought.

PS: Did you take her camping? You’re better at it now, so you won’t sleep under the stars – that’s a memory exclusive to us, right?

With love,

Sungjong