The party wasn’t his idea – but Jinyoung wouldn’t let it go. The junior doctor had continuously pestered him at the hospital and unfortunately, he had been assigned to him for two months now. So throughout the day, he’d go around whining, “Sir, you passed! You’re a specialist consultant now, you have to celebrate. No – don’t give me that look, there has to be a party. Please…”

Finally exhausted from arguing, he had given in. He had warned him that he wouldn’t be able to prepare anything; he’d order take-out. Jinyoung hadn’t stayed to hear that part; he was already all over the Department, inviting people without his permission.

There was no point stopping him because within 5 minutes, the whole department knew. People were crowding at his room, congratulating him and promising him to attend his party.

“Mind telling me where and when the party is?” he asked Jinyoung later, gnashing his teeth.

“Your place, Saturday evening,” Jinyoung recited happily. “So what do you think we should order?”

“We, what we?”

Jinyoung shook his head. “I’m helping you to host it, you should be grateful.”

Sungjong had simply given up and let Jinyoung plan everything. It was easier this way and besides, he had other things on his mind. Other people. A certain other person.

Leaving Jinyoung to look after the decorations and food, he had stepped out of the house for a breath of fresh air.

Inside, Jinyoung was cooking something so spicy that their eyes had started watering. Leaving the cooking up to the younger, he had decided to go over and invite Suzy. But he found his gate blocked by a huge trailer. Workmen in overalls were emptying furniture and other things and taking them inside the next house. He’d be getting new neighbors apparently, although it didn’t bother him much. He had never kept up with his neighbors anyway. He was trying to maneuver around the truck when suddenly he heard a familiar voice.

“Sungjong!”

“Myungsoo? Hey, what brings you here?” Sungjong said awkwardly.

Myungsoo hadn’t come to visit him in the last few months. In fact they had met only scarcely after the funeral, although they had talked much more on the phone. There was still a sort of awkwardness between them, on Sungjong’s part and it had been his idea not to meet so often.

Myungsoo had been keen but at the same time, he had been careful not to set Sungjong off. They were mere acquaintances in some ways now but he can’t deny the connection. And that itself was making him pull back every time Myungsoo tried to reach for him.

“Oh you don’t know yet?” Myungsoo smiled sheepishly. “Woohyun hyung is moving into this house.” He pointed his thumb at the house next to his, where the movers were unloading goods.

Sungjong took some time to process the information.

“Woohyun hyung is going to stay here?”

“Yep,” Myungsoo said, smiling at him.

The wheels were whirring in Sungjong’s brain. He narrowed his eyes at Myungsoo.

“Wait a minute, you’re going to stay with him, aren’t you?”

Myungsoo scratched his hair embarrassedly, then very casually dropped his arms on Sungjong’s shoulders, pulling him closer to him. His face emanated heat as he felt their nose tips touching. This was the closest they had been to each other since the funeral and Sungjong felt something within him stir. He had missed Myungsoo’s touch, his breath on his cheeks. For a second he could close his eyes and pretend as if it was just like before.

“You know me too well,” Myungsoo whispered and at that moment, Sungjong knew. He knew the older like he knew every line on his palm, every tear streak down his face.

There were some pretend coughing from the workmen, who had been enjoying the show, and Sungjong pushed Myungsoo away, making a beeline for Suzy’s house. He made a note to not invite Myungsoo to the party, he would be too distracting.

Myungsoo had Sungjong pushed up against the wall. Sungjong rolled his eyes mentally - how an innocent visit from his neighbor had ended up with him in this position. He was holding his ground, for now, but he felt vulnerable. Myungsoo leaned in, his lips ghosting over his. Any moment now, they would touch. But Sungjong turned his head sideways, watching Myungsoo’s face fall out of the corner of his eyes.

“No Myungsoo, not yet.”

“But -”

It was a weird feeling for Sungjong. At times, he really had to work hard to resist Myungsoo but at other times, it came out naturally. He was still sorting out his many emotions, still trying to figure out what he felt for his ex-boyfriend.

When Sungjong was a kid, he had always dreamed of himself as an adult in a big house with four kids and a loving wife. He had pictured a garden, a driveway – everything. But when he had started going out with Myungsoo, he had given all those dreams up because the reality he had had with Myungsoo was better anything he could have ever dreamed.

After Myungsoo left, he was sometimes reminded of how he could actually live his childhood dream if he only gave Suzy a chance. But something had held him back. Everyone thought it was Myungsoo – but now that he returned, Sungjong didn’t know what exactly was holding him back this time.

Is it so difficult to forgive him? – he asked himself.

But he had already forgiven Myungsoo, deep down inside; maybe he had forgiven him the moment he had walked out of the door. And yet, every time Myungsoo tried to make a move on him, he would shy away.

Just like now.

The questions in the elder’s eyes were piercing him as he desperately searched for an answer. Before he could give him a reason though, they were interrupted. The door was thrown open with a slam and they both jumped, Myungsoo moving away from Sungjong, cursing under his breath. Sungyeol was standing in the doorway, looking at the couple suspiciously. Sungjong tried to look casual as he leaned against the wall, as if it was a comfortable pose. Myungsoo his hands inside his pocket, deeply disgruntled.

“What’s going on?” Sungyeol asked, looking from one face to the other.

“Nothing,” they both said at the same time, causing Sungyeol’s face to darken. He invited himself in and sat down on the sofa. Sungjong joined him there while Myungsoo kept standing, looking around.

“So now that Kim is in, I’m out. This is sad Sungjong. Who was babysitting you when that Kim had ditched you huh?”

As Sungjong gasped hearing Sungyeol’s outrageous claims, Myungsoo spun to face them, his face stony.

“I’d like it if you don’t use that language.”
Sungyeol groaned. “Whatever. Anyway Sungjong, I’m telling you this – I can’t see what you see in this Kim but I’m going to get you back okay? I will protect you till the end you hear me, I’ll never let you forget me -”

“Stop quoting pop songs hyung,” Sungjong admonished. Sungyeol looked embarrassed for a second only.

“You hear that too Mr. Kim - I want to see how you get close to Sungjong a second time.”

Myungsoo smiled slightly as he met Sungjong’s apologetic eyes. Perhaps he had learned not to take Sungyeol seriously. Truthfully, when he looked into Sungjong’s eyes, it was obvious that Sungyeol, or anyone else, was no threat. They were b with one message – it might take time, but there is always hope.

“Did it mean nothing then? I was there for you Sungjong, without a question, without a doubt.”

Sungjong had been dreading this moment, when Suzy would ask away the pent up anger, frustration, hurt and betrayal in her eyes.

Sitting on the couch in Suzy’s living room, he could feel her eyes bore holes into his forehead. He could reply, but he knew it would cut her wound even deeper. Yet, what else could he do than speak the truth?

“Suzy I’m so sorry. I’m so very sorry.”

That was all he could say, and he hoped it would make sense to her like it did to him.

“Myungsoo and I – we talked recently.” The sudden change in topic drew Sungjong’s gaze up to her face. Her eyes were still red-rimmed, but he saw something else there too, a steely determination. He waited for her to go on. “After talking to him, I realized I could never know you the way he does.”

Sungjong waited with bated breath. He didn’t know which way the conversation was moving but he was very curious as to what Myungsoo had said. She blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the teardrops that were clinging to her eyelashes.

“And I also realized, you could never love me the way you love him.”

He took a slow, dragging breath. On both accounts, she had it right. Sungjong was so glad that she had understood that on her own, without him having to say anything or offering any proof.

“And they do say, if you love someone set them free.” Suzy made a brave attempt to smile. Her cheeks were pink and he returned the effort. “We’re still friends right? Best friends.”

Sungjong sighed and put a hand on her cheek. “I don’t know about you, but for me, you’ll always be my best friend.”

Her eyes glowed, and this time she managed a proper smile. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. And here’s an advice, the next time Sungyeol hyung tries to come here, moping about Myungsoo, don’t let him in.”

“Why not?” she said mischievously. “I like to hear his rants about Myungsoo – that Kim guy. You should see his face when he describes how Myungsoo actually resembles a zebra.”

“Suzy please, you can’t be that easy.” He pretended to be exasperated. “I’ll introduce you to Daehyun, and other better men. Not Sungyeol hyung – he’s the world’s tallest playboy.”

Suzy threw a cushion at him which he caught. They both laughed and he noticed with a jolt, that her smile, tugging on her lips, didn’t reach her eyes.

He remembered Sungyeol, who wore a familiar half-smile every time he met him and how his gaze turned wistful every time he thought Sungjong wasn’t looking.

His heart churning, he wondered if the same happened with him when he was with Myungsoo.

Healing a wound always leaves a scar, no?