Snow was falling thickly, causing Sungjong to pull on his muffler, wrapping it around his neck, over his nose. There was a half-finished snowman on the front lawn of one of the neighborhood houses, chunks of it missing. He peered at it from under his hat – it made him feel as if the snowman and he were somewhat alike – both of them were incomplete, hollow, and so very cold.

He picked up his speed and arrived in front of his house. In his haste, he didn’t notice the car parked on one side of the road. Turning the key in the lock, he pushed the door open, only to freeze on the threshold. He could see the living room clearly from his position and the person sitting on one of the chintz sofas, facing him, was unexpected and definitely unwelcome.

“Sungjong!” the man said with a wise smirk. “How can you keep me waiting like this?”

He felt his insides became colder by a few degrees.

“Oh Sungjong, he’s been waiting for you. Er…I told him you’ll be late but he insisted…” Suzy looked apologetic. She was sitting on a couch beside the man, her hands fidgeting nervously in her lap.

Sungjong could barely blame her; he knew how imposing Sungyeol could be, but he’d never thought he would actually dare to come to his house. He had been here a few times, back when they had first known each other. They had been almost friends, close senior and junior, but Sungyeol hadn't felt this insufferable back them and he knew why. At that time, he had Myungsoo with him, by him, and Sungyeol's approaches were something to laugh about, a little joke. But now, he couldn't stand the tiniest of his flirtations, it burned him.

“Where’s Gyu?” he asked Suzy, deliberately ignoring Sungyeol as he stepped into the house.

“I put him to bed,” Suzy said, looking nervous. Both Bubble Pop and Woollimy, Suzy’s kitten, were mewling softly, close to her ankle. Pop had almost an arrogant look as she sized Sungyeol up. She had never liked Sungyeol. Once again, Sungjong felt that it was a bit of Myungsoo in Pop which cold-shouldered the professor.

“Thanks for watching him Suzy, it means a lot.” Sungjong tried to convey as much sincerity as he could muster.

He had been given the care of his nephew, Kyuhyun, for the day since his parents, Sungjong's brother and his wife, had a party to attend and couldn’t find a babysitter. Sungjong however had forgotten that he was supposed to meet a friend of his today, and since he’d be flying to the USA the next day, it’d be their last meeting in a long time. Kyuhyun had already been dropped off at his house and seeing no other way, he had gone to Suzy to ask her if she knew of a babysitter, when she had volunteered to look after his nephew. He had protested of course, but in his mind he was relieved that Suzy wouldn’t take no for an answer because he would feel much more relieved if she was the one taking care of Kyuhyun rather than a babysitter he didn’t know.

“I hope he wasn’t too naughty.” Sungjong removed his coat calmly, still ignoring Sungyeol, who didn’t seem to mind. He crossed his legs on the sofa, staring at him blatantly.

“He’s an angel,” she replied brightly, offering to take his coat. But from the paint on her cheeks and what looked like tissue paper in her hair, Sungjong could tell that Kyuhyun hadn’t been anything close. It warmed him to think that Suzy would defend the little brat like this.

“You have something in your hair,” he said, leaning in to brush off the paper from her hair. It was a silver chewing gum wrapper. “There you go.”

“I – I made dinner for you.” She sounded slightly breathless all of a sudden. “I had to eat with Kyuhyun but – I’ll heat it up for you.”

She leapt to her feet eagerly but Sungjong stopped her.

“Suzy no, you’ve done enough. It’s late already, you need to sleep.”

He wouldn’t listen to her objections, so finally she put on her coat and scarf. At the door, he lowered his voice and said, “Thanks a lot. I mean it. I hope you understand that I really mean it.”

She looked into his eyes gratefully, as if he had done her a favor. It made him feel even guiltier. A part of him knew why she was always so ready to help him - it was her way of taking care of him, as much as she could while he tried his best to puch her away. It shouldn't have been this way; it wasn't fair. But what could he do? He couldn't bring himself to say it directly to her face that she was wasting her time, that whatever she wanted wasn't something he could give. At least now, she thought she had a chance. He did his best not to encourage her but she persevered.

“That man – is he -”

“He’s nothing. Just a stupid flirt I wish I didn’t have as my boss.” He tried to laugh it off but he really meant it.

Suzy nodded understandingly.

“I’m sorry I let him in.”

“Don’t worry about it, you didn’t know. Just next time, don’t open the door for him.”

She smiled teasingly. “So there will be a next time?”

He didn't know what to say so he wished her a goodnight and watched her until she crossed the porch, the driveway, the road and disappeared into her own house. He was prolonging the time until he would have to go inside and talk to Sungyeol, more like kick the man out of his house but he knew it wouldn't be easy.

When he finally sat down in front of Sungyeol, who had his eyes narrowed, ready to tell him off, Pop jumped up onto his lap. That was a surprise - she had never been touchy-feely with Sungjong. They didn't share that kind of a relationship. But right now, the plump cat was sitting almost defensively on his lap, glaring at Sungyeol, making slight hissing noises. Ignoring the strangeness of the situation, he locked eyes with the professor.

“What do you think you’re doing here?”

Sungyeol shrugged. “I told you, I’ll be here on Friday night.”

“Do you have any idea – do you even -” Sungjong pressed his fingers into his forehead – a pulse was throbbing painfully there. He didn't want to get angry, but he felt the anger bubbling inside him, ready to burst forth. “Look, I can't do this right now; just leave.”

“You didn’t tell me that Kim guy is gone.”

Sungjong’s head whipped up. He stared at Sungyeol coldly. How could he be so tactless?

“Who do you think you are, trespassing and telling me -”

“Chill, I’m not saying anything about it." Sungyeol put up his hands defensively. "If I would make a comment about it I’d say: good riddance. He was such a snag, you can do so much better.” The man looked genuinely happy, baring his teeth and gums as he smiled at him; that made something really burn inside Sungjong.

“Sir please, I’m begging you.” There was desperateness in his voice as the pain in his head rose sharply. He felt like throwing Pop in Sungyeol’s face. The cat was still letting out low, angry purrs but both the men ignored her.

“You used to call me hyung.” Sungyeol pouted, but showed no sign of relenting. “Look here, this Suzy girl. She’s into you I see.” He raised an eyebrow tauntingly, as if daring him to challenge the statement.

Sungjong’s headache was growing worse and he knew he had to seize the opportunity to get rid of the professor.

“She’s a likeable girl,” he said pointedly. “Very likeable. Lovable even.”

He felt bad for using Suzy like this but he had no other choice. Pretending that they had something between them might be the only way Sungyeol would realise that he didn't have a chance. He couldn’t just sit here, listening to Sungyeol rattle about how Myungsoo was gone, as if it wasn’t obvious enough already. As if the gaping hole in his heart wasn't obvious enough. Myungsoo had been his shield once, and now he would replace him with Suzy, at least for the moment.

Sungyeol, however, just laughed.

“Please Sungjong, acting is not your forte. I mean it’s obvious she likes you but you didn’t even look at her face when you touched her hair. Did you even notice that she was all red in the face?”

He had nothing to say – he hadn’t in fact noticed Suzy blushing. His insides ached as he thought about how he had been told this before.

"Acting is not your forte you know, so you can't pretend to be sick and get out of going to my high scool reunion."

"But Myungsoo, you know I hate reunions."

"I do too, and the only thing that's going to get me through it is you."

Shooting him a patronizing look, Sungyeol sat up straight.

“I don’t understand what the problem is Sungjong – Kim is out of the picture. I can’t be that bad. The whole world loves me – how is Lee Sungjong any different?”

He started counting backwards from 100 in his mind, something he hoped would calm him down. Someone had told him that it was the effective way to control harmful rage. Throwing a tantrum at his current boss was probably not the best way to win the employee of the month award.

Rolling his shoulder backwards into the sofa, he said in a weary, pleading voice, “Why can’t you just find someone else? You’re right, there are plenty of people who would be ever so grateful if you pay them half the attention. Just find someone you like.”

How can this simple logic escape him? – he thought. Or was it simply a way for the professor to torture him? He didn't deserve this.

Sungyeol didn’t reply for some time, as if he was pondering the option while watching the empty glass on the coffee table.

“Actually, Lee Sungjong is different from the whole world. He is different because I don’t love anyone else in the world, I love him.”

Sungjong was stumped. This was the first time Sungyeol had actually mentioned love, and there was no sign of mockery or flippancy on his visage. Sungjong couldn’t remember the last time he had seen his new boss so serious and collected. The look in his eyes was intense, unwavering.

But this just made everything ten times more difficult. If Sungyeol was indeed in love with him, when would he give up on him?

“Hyung please, leave. If someone at the hospital knows -”

The mask of seriousness melted and Sungyeol let out a bark of laughter, clearly amused.

“Sungjong, the entire hospital knows.”

Sungjong slumped back into his seat, knowing it was futile to reason with the person facing him. Clearly, Sungyeol did not listen to reason and had none of his own.

“It doesn’t matter – just tell them you dumped the Kim guy, and no one will think you’re cheating.”

As he let out a long sigh, he felt Pop's claws digging into his thighs. The cat actually looked murderous, as if she could understand every word they were saying. But then again, Sungjong was convinced that Pop did understand human language.

If he confided in one person at the hospital about how Myungsoo was gone, the entire crew would know by the next day. Unfortunately, that was what had happened when he had first announced that he was in a relationship. He had been so happy back then, proud even that finally he had a stable, functioning relationship. And now, it was simply coming back to haunt him.

Now these people would come to him with their condolences, wearing those remorseful expressions that he couldn’t bear to watch. Then they would ask him what had happened, what went wrong, they would ask him how exactly it had happened – he couldn’t bear it.

He stood up abruptly.

“Hyung leave now. I want to go to bed.”

Sungyeol got up.

“Let’s go then.” He winked at him. Sungjong sighed.

“Hyung please, just please. This once.”

Sungyeol looked like he wanted to say more but Sungjong didn’t give him the chance. Taking the chance, he drove him by the shoulder and almost threw him out on the porch.

“How about a goodnight kiss?”

Get lost – Sungjong wanted to say. Instead, he smiled civilly, feeling his patience stretching thinner than silk.

“See you on Monday, Sir.”

Sungyeol’s eyes crinkled with a smile.

“You’re so cute,” he said, pinching his cheek.

“Yeah, whatever.” He was about to slam the door shut when something occurred to him. Pausing, and said very quietly, “And hyung, I didn’t dump the Kim guy, he dumped me.”

With that he slammed the door before he could see Sungyeol’s reaction. It was strangely liberating to say it out loud to someone who had known about them, but he didn’t have the heart to watch his face change, the pity in his face. It was hard enough without the sympathy.

It’s hard without you.